Reflections of My Life

katlupe said:
Yesterday was stressful for me. I had to get an ultrasound of my heart.........yeah, I still have it, I thought Sonny took it. Just thinking about going there was more stressful than the actual test. Last night the results were in and said it was all normal. So one less thing to worry about.

Today Sonny will be back to take me to do some errands. I did not want to go to Walmart but I need to get more greens for Rabbit so guess I will. Not going to do major shopping though. I hate going there on check day. Since I am my son's payee representative for his money (he is disabled, mentally slow, but looks normal) I always get his bills paid as soon as his check is here. Then I either give him some cash every few days or he buys stuff online, usually from Amazon, Musician's Friend or eBay.

Going through a pile of papers that somehow accumulated on my printer. I tend to print out recipes I find to try and then if I like them I put them in a file. I have a bunch of them there right now. Then writing out my budget sheets for April for Jeff and for me. That is how I keep track of our money. Works for me.
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I'm happy your ultrasound was good, Kat!
 

Well, my stimulus check is pending in my account till the 7th. So I better decide on whether I am buying a new laptop or not. If not, I will pay off some of my credit cards. I am a computer person so if I am to live happily ever after here, I really need to replace this one. I do not want to wait till it dies and I become desperate.

Sonny is slow getting around this morning, so I had a bit of time. Got my breakfast so I won't be hungry when we are shopping. Made the ice tea, Hibiscus in one jar and Lemon Ginger in the other. Today I won't get anything done, but this week-end I will try to catch up.

I hope you have a great day!
 

Yesterday, I went to Tops on Jazzy to get ingredients to make chicken noodle soup. Honestly, I do not know if it really works or I think it does. but I get better. My mother always made it if someone had a cold or was sick with a flu or something related. I remember once being so sick I could not get out of bed and she came to my apartment after she got out of work and brought the ingredients from the store and made it for me. Anyway, I have pot of it to eat.

I think our parking lot might get repaved because I saw a guy talking to our maintenance man and looking it over while writing in a notebook. I certainly hope so. I have to watch for the pot holes when walking with my walker.

Right now I am having coffee and watching Rabbit enjoying his morning banana. Beyond that, now sure what my day will be like.
 
I have decided not to write a blog anymore. I was thinking that I pay for it every month, work on it, fight the hackers every day and am lucky if someone other than my boyfriend and my cousins come to it. So what happens to it if I die? It disappears with the first missed payment.........lost forever. Online content, is not the same as the stuff in physical form. Even your family member can't look through your content and share your books or music with family members. I removed it yesterday, as well as my Flickr account with all my photos.

I thought I had simplified my life when I moved here, but................I hadn't even began yet. I can't remember if I mentioned this here before (and am too lazy to scroll back to check) but the man who lived downstairs was brought by an aide from the rehab to see if he could move back into his apartment. He is in a wheelchair now and could not even get into his kitchen or the bathroom. So they said it failed and now he is waiting for a bed in a nursing home and his family cleaned out his apartment. My friend who lives below me said when she had an operation and was done with rehab, the aide brought her to her apartment and took one look inside the door and said, "It passes!" Without even going in. The man's apartment was a one bedroom. Our apartments are studios and designed for wheelchairs. Mine would pass too........just have to watch out for the bunny trying to lick the wheels.

One thing I have to agree with about this social distancing is that if you are around anyone that has a cold chances are you will catch it. When I lived at my house I was not around people most of the time. For a period though we were going to a church that everyone hugged each other when they came in and when they left. I was always getting a cold or sick. Now I am not a hugger or a kisser. I have never really been comfortable with that unless it was my parents, my grandmother or my son. My first husband's family were NYers, so they seemed to do that more than my family (who were NY staters). So wearing a mask when I go outside my apartment was a good thing. Except that I have caught two colds already this year.........one in Feb (from my bf) and I am just getting over the 2nd one (from my friend downstairs). Both of them I have been around without wearing masks. Live and learn. At least I eventually learn.
 
Something I was thinking about today is that I have always considered myself an introvert and I am fine with that. When I moved here though, I had to put that little bit of effort in to go to the activities in the community room. After I got to know the others, I enjoyed going. Now after all this time of not having those activities, even though I have missed seeing the others, I am back into the groove of staying alone. Of course, I still have the dental problem and that makes me uncomfortable in social situations or any public place that I have to take my mask off. I am not so sure I will be going back to those when things open up. Our maintenance man does not want us using the community room anyway..........he has to clean it even though we clean it as soon as we are finished. I think it is the sanitizing that he has to do.

I went to bed today around 4 or so and just woke up......well, a phone call from Sonny woke me up. He called to tell me he was going to bed! So I thought I would check my computer and give Rabbit blackberries while I was on here. Now hopefully I will be able to go to sleep again.
 
I have changed my mind about spending my stimulus check on a new laptop. I really need one, but I think I can get by as long as it does not die on me. All the other stimulus checks I put on my credit accounts and they helped. I have to do the same with this one. Ever since I moved here I have been living as frugal as possible so I can pay these bills down. When I was with my husband, that was his way of life. Max out his cards and then pay the min or enough to use them again. I hated it! He even used mine and that was how mine got maxed.

The first thing I did when I knew I was going to leave there was to take my name off his cards and his name off the one of mine that he was on. After 3 years here, alone, none of them are maxed out. I am not saying I have never used them since I moved here, but they are all much lower. So if I use the stimulus money on just one, the one with the highest interest rate...........I will be paying it off by June or July. One less plus by then I will have two others paid off too. It is like a game to me. See how little I can spend each month. Writing out a budget by hand has been the key for me. I mean my income is very low, but I could not survive on it without living in this apartment.

This reminds me of how you can look at other people and think they have it all. They have beautiful homes, cars, go on expensive vacations and out to eat every night. You look at your life and might think you have nothing. Well, I lived that life at one time and I was miserable. Married to a man who cheated on me and was a gambler and left me for a topless dancer. Then about 20 years later, he lost it all........the FBI came to my house to question me about him. He was in the hospital under arrest and was going to go to prison but he died there (or so we think or else he is in a witness protection program). It seems like he had taken some type of prescription drug that would affect his heart to kill himself or something like that. I don't know for sure. All I know is nobody could go visit him in the hospital without special permission from the FBI. My son and my father were able to. No funeral or burial. Nothing. There are a lot of unanswered questions in my mind about his death.

Now I look at my life and am thankful for what I have. I am happy here and free to do what I want. I always have projects to work on so am busy most of the time. Never bored. No worries that the FBI is coming for me! Haha

Best of all..........is my sweet loving bunny boy sharing my life here.
 
Raining here today so staying inside. I can take Jazzy or my walker out in the rain but I do not like to get my wheels wet and then bring that in on my floor. If I am out on Jazzy, I have an umbrella and a huge poncho that covers not only me but Jazzy too, though I have never had to use it yet. I carry those in the pouch on the back of the chair. Sonny took me shopping yesterday so I don't need anything anyway. Sometimes I go to the store just to go somewhere and get outside.

I am planning on making cabbage with kielbasa and tiny potatoes for supper today. So I will start that around three or so. I already did Rabbit's cage so I am caught up with all my work for today. Just working on my photos in my computer right now. Very quiet day here.
 
katlupe said:
Raining here today so staying inside. I can take Jazzy or my walker out in the rain but I do not like to get my wheels wet and then bring that in on my floor. If I am out on Jazzy, I have an umbrella and a huge poncho that covers not only me but Jazzy too, though I have never had to use it yet. I carry those in the pouch on the back of the chair. Sonny took me shopping yesterday so I don't need anything anyway. Sometimes I go to the store just to go somewhere and get outside.

I am planning on making cabbage with kielbasa and tiny potatoes for supper today. So I will start that around three or so. I already did Rabbit's cage so I am caught up with all my work for today. Just working on my photos in my computer right now. Very quiet day here.
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About to rain here soon as well, Kat. Chilly too.

Your cabbage with kielbasa and tiny potatoes sound just perfect!
 
As I get older I have been concentrating on staying positive and not think about things that can be depressing. You can improve your life right up to your last day. Being old is not a bad thing. Actually it is a very good thing. Otherwise, you did not make it. My mother always told me to not worry about something until you have to. So I put those things out of my head since worrying about it does not change it. She also taught me to make a list of the pros and cons of a situation and then how I can change it. I have always done that. It works for me.

Two things that cause people to worry are gossip and rumors. So I do not pay attention to either. If they become true, then I pay attention. Why should I waste my time on things that many times are not even true? So I don't. I have cut my time spent on social media a lot. I come to this forum and two others and spend time on Ancestry, Allrecipes and YouTube. I try to get outside daily, listen to music every day and write in my journal every morning and watch videos in the evening while I color (in my adult coloring books).

My apartment is a very small studio (but I just watched a video about a guy who lives in a 78 sq.ft. studio......now that is teeny tiny!) but I try to keep it bright and cheery. The house I lived in before moving here was very dark and dusty (due to two wood stoves, firewood and muddy boots going in and out all day) and so was my mood. I am always improving it or changing my decor. One nice thing about living alone is that you can do whatever suits you. I don't care if nobody ever sees what I have done because it is for me and me alone......well maybe for my little bunny boy too.
 
I feel accomplished right now........I wrestled the sheet off my bed! Doesn't sound like much, but it is not easy since the bed is in a corner. I kept putting it off but had to finally do it. I came to the solution that I definitely DO NEED help. So I had a meeting last week with the visiting nurses and now have to interview some possible aides. This time though, Sonny will be here and help me with this process. I am not good at making my wishes known and he is. He is bringing hay today for Rabbit so I will have him take a look at my list. Honestly, they just have the person's name and where and what hours they will work. So hard to know what kind of person you are choosing.
 
He is a cutie. I'm glad he didn't get any further injuries when he ventured out for a couple of days. When my mother was in the nursing home, they had a petting zoo come onto their grounds. I had the opportunity to hold a brown baby bunny. It was so sweet and cuddly that I fell in love. It made me want to get one but I knew I wasn't ready for another pet, even though our cat had died years before. Plus I knew nothing about caring for a rabbit and wasn't into the internet yet to be able to research it. Bless you taking such good care of Rabbit.
 
One thing I have been trying to overcome is over buying groceries. I have been cutting down the size of my recipes. I love leftovers but not for more than one day. I tried to vacuum pack some chili and made a huge mess.......not doing that again. I hate frozen food that develops ice crystals on it. I have researched and researched and have never found a solution for that unless it is the vacuum packer. My son used to take my leftovers but lately he is not so much into homemade food. He does not eat as healthy as I wish, but he is 51 and stubborn with a mind of his own.

Sometimes I plan on making something but never get to it. I am planning on sticking to a basic eggs with bacon or sausage breakfast and meat and salad for supper. That seems to work best for me instead of making casserole types of meals. If I make too much, I will eat it. So my plan is going to be one piece of meat and a large salad. Occasionally I will make a low carb goodie but promise myself I will eat only one piece and not every day. If you eat it every day, it stops being a treat and becomes a daily food. Not going to do that. I see a lot of people living on low carbs/Keto and they make elaborate desserts daily. I think that can be a problem for me if I did that. I am a slow loser but was a slow gainer too.

I am including an oz. of raw almonds or other nuts with my supper and calling it dessert. Sometimes I melt butter and add a bit of the Swerve brown to it for a sweet. It is good and satisfies me. I don't usually eat seeds but am going to experiment with some as they are really healthy foods. I have been using flaxseed meal on different foods as that is a healthy addition as well. I suppose it is good that I live alone and cook for just myself. Most men I have been with would not eat this way at all. I always hated having to make other foods for someone else because they wouldn't eat my low carb meals.
 
katlupe said:
One thing I have been trying to overcome is over buying groceries. I have been cutting down the size of my recipes. I love leftovers but not for more than one day. I tried to vacuum pack some chili and made a huge mess.......not doing that again. I hate frozen food that develops ice crystals on it. I have researched and researched and have never found a solution for that unless it is the vacuum packer. My son used to take my leftovers but lately he is not so much into homemade food. He does not eat as healthy as I wish, but he is 51 and stubborn with a mind of his own.

Sometimes I plan on making something but never get to it. I am planning on sticking to a basic eggs with bacon or sausage breakfast and meat and salad for supper. That seems to work best for me instead of making casserole types of meals. If I make too much, I will eat it. So my plan is going to be one piece of meat and a large salad. Occasionally I will make a low carb goodie but promise myself I will eat only one piece and not every day. If you eat it every day, it stops being a treat and becomes a daily food. Not going to do that. I see a lot of people living on low carbs/Keto and they make elaborate desserts daily. I think that can be a problem for me if I did that. I am a slow loser but was a slow gainer too.

I am including an oz. of raw almonds or other nuts with my supper and calling it dessert. Sometimes I melt butter and add a bit of the Swerve brown to it for a sweet. It is good and satisfies me. I don't usually eat seeds but am going to experiment with some as they are really healthy foods. I have been using flaxseed meal on different foods as that is a healthy addition as well. I suppose it is good that I live alone and cook for just myself. Most men I have been with would not eat this way at all. I always hated having to make other foods for someone else because they wouldn't eat my low carb meals.
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I agree. I have switched to a salad for dinner with a egg, or a few cashews, or a piece of cheese for dinner. I think the main meal at lunch and a lesser meal at dinner is the way to go. I gain weight fast and loose slow. I want to lose another 10 pounds before surgery, but I am at plateau for now 😢.
 
Katlupe--you need to freeze foods that have liquid before you vacuum pack them. Freeze the portion size you want in a container for a few hours till solid, then pop it out and put into a vacuum bag, then seal. I also do this with individual raw chicken breast pieces; freeze them on a cookie sheet and once solid, into the vacuum bag. Juices and liquids prevent the heated seal from working.
 
C'est Moi said:
Katlupe--you need to freeze foods that have liquid before you vacuum pack them. Freeze the portion size you want in a container for a few hours till solid, then pop it out and put into a vacuum bag, then seal. I also do this with individual raw chicken breast pieces; freeze them on a cookie sheet and once solid, into the vacuum bag. Juices and liquids prevent the heated seal from working.
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Thank you very much for that information! I could not figure out a way to do it.
 
Thursday Sonny took me to lunch at the Chinese buffet and when we got there, my son came in! Sonny had invited him to meet us there for lunch! I was surprised and it was nice. He doesn't talk much, not like he used to. But Sonny keeps a conversation going. I wish he could have met Jeff before he got into this ghost world. He was so different. His friends used to tell him he should do stand up comedy because he always had them laughing. Now.........they would not recognize him. I am just thankful he lives nearby and not into any bad stuff or around bad people (though I am sure some live in his building).

Today has been a quiet sort of day. I do some house chores then come back to the computer. Sonny is at RC race somewhere up north so I am on my own. I expect to see him tomorrow though.

There are four apartments for rent in our building. One of them has been empty since last year. They didn't even have to do any work on it because the lady who lived there kept it beautiful. She is who I bought my mobility chair from and I was impressed with her apartment. The other two are downstairs also and they both need a lot of work. New everything it looks like. On my floor there is an efficiency available but I don't know if it needs work or not. It is smaller than mine. It takes awhile for these apartments to get rented due to the paperwork I think.

Have a nice evening!
 

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