Reflections of My Life

katlupe said:
Today the sun is streaming into my apartment. I turned my heat way down. Feels good. Even so, I haven't felt like doing much of anything. Not that I feel bad or anything like that. Just tired of being busy every minute. I paid my bills and made adjustments to my budget sheet that I wrote out a few days ago. Now today, the manager puts on my receipt that my rent actually WENT DOWN...........if you can believe it! If so, it went down $12.00 instead of up. So I had budgeted it for like 50 dollars more, not expecting it to be that much but just so I was covered. That gives me a bit of a nest egg.

Next time Sonny comes up we have to go back to the post office and turn in the money order I bought yesterday and get a new one with the new amount. It is complicated. But that one will be $12.00 less than the actual amount which I overpaid on the rent I already paid for this month. She didn't know what it was till right now. Starting in March, I will be paying the new amount. You would think a big corporation as this would not have this much trouble with telling renters how much their rent is.

Well, now on to cleaning my bunny's cage and then checking on my mail. Have a good day!
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Good for you....it's not often that something actually goes down!

Say hello to Bunny, from Andy! 🐱
 

Life can be hard at times and then it seems to get easier. At some points it seems like it cannot get any better than all of a sudden your life goes on and you put those hard times out of your mind.You get past that. I always think of that when someone commits suicide. Like why couldn't they hold on for one day more, one hour more or a tiny bit more because things will change if they did? If they just stuck it out.

Often times in my life, I will see others who seem to have it all. Their life is much easier. They make a lot of money.......well they must, since they spend it freely and publicly so everyone sees what they buy or how they spend it. I have thought to myself, why is, or why was my life so difficult? Why did I work so hard and never get ahead? Even though I never lived extravagantly or with real luxury, I would have liked some peace of mind over such things as paying bills or buying a house that was actually mine.

I think it always points back to being involved with men. Sorry, men. It is true though. If I had never been sidetracked by a new man or a budding relationship, maybe I could have done something about my own situation. Now when I look back and really think about it, the people I envied at some time in my life, had to pay in some way by having some tough things happen to them or their loved ones. When you look up to various famous people in your lifetime, later on you find out they were not what you thought they were. Or their life behind the scenes was not good at all. I see this every day.

Now I am not saying my life is over with. I figure I have a number of good years still left. I don't see myself envying someone else because they are better off than me. Instead I seem to be of the I don't care attitude. I just do what I have to do every day to get through my life. I try to enjoy what I am doing. Even if it is cleaning my apartment or preparing my meal. Now though, I am doing it for myself. Not for anyone else.
 
katlupe said:
Life can be hard at times and then it seems to get easier. At some points it seems like it cannot get any better than all of a sudden your life goes on and you put those hard times out of your mind.You get past that. I always think of that when someone commits suicide. Like why couldn't they hold on for one day more, one hour more or a tiny bit more because things will change if they did? If they just stuck it out.

Often times in my life, I will see others who seem to have it all. Their life is much easier. They make a lot of money.......well they must, since they spend it freely and publicly so everyone sees what they buy or how they spend it. I have thought to myself, why is, or why was my life so difficult? Why did I work so hard and never get ahead? Even though I never lived extravagantly or with real luxury, I would have liked some peace of mind over such things as paying bills or buying a house that was actually mine.

I think it always points back to being involved with men. Sorry, men. It is true though. If I had never been sidetracked by a new man or a budding relationship, maybe I could have done something about my own situation. Now when I look back and really think about it, the people I envied at some time in my life, had to pay in some way by having some tough things happen to them or their loved ones. When you look up to various famous people in your lifetime, later on you find out they were not what you thought they were. Or their life behind the scenes was not good at all. I see this every day.

Now I am not saying my life is over with. I figure I have a number of good years still left. I don't see myself envying someone else because they are better off than me. Instead I seem to be of the I don't care attitude. I just do what I have to do every day to get through my life. I try to enjoy what I am doing. Even if it is cleaning my apartment or preparing my meal. Now though, I am doing it for myself. Not for anyone else.
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Did something happen, you seem a bit depressed. I hope you are ok.
 
Aneeda72 said:
Did something happen, you seem a bit depressed. I hope you are ok.
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Not actually to me. My son's stepbrother, was a big part of my life before his mother married my ex-husband (that's a whole other story in itself!) and I always felt close to him. He had a horrible childhood with her as a mother (she was a exotic dancer and always out of town) so he spent a lot of time at my house. He and my son were always close friends. Till his mother married my ex-husband.

Anyway, the stepbrother is my friend on fakebook and I have watched his life go from being a crack addict to marrying a wonderful woman and having two children. I mean he is like the ideal father in all ways. He is everything he never had. Spends a lot of time with his family and includes them in everything he does. They moved to FL two years ago and watching their life has been like watching a television show. I swear they must have unlimited money to live the way they do.

Two days ago his wife suffered a ruptured aneurysm at work. Had 5 hours of surgery yesterday. The doctor said it was a miracle she made it to the operation and a miracle she made it through the operation. Now it is touch and go to see if she makes it 10 days.

So this has given me reasons to think. I kept thinking how my son who is disabled (mentally) was never able to achieve the things his friends did. He got married and divorced. He doesn't have anything or a life anywhere near the kind his stepbrother was able to create for himself. I am sad about that. But I also thought how his stepbrother put his life on fakebook showing what he had and how they did so many things that most people cannot afford to do and now this. And two years ago before they moved, his daughter from a previous relationship died in her early 20's. Suddenly.

So if someone gets everything they want in life, does that mean they end up suffering eventually, in the end? Even though his childhood was not good. So is living a good life as an adult the reward for a bad childhood? My son had a good childhood because he lived with me and I was a good mother. It was different once he grew up.

Kind of reminds me of my ex-husband and how his life ended up. Flaunted it and then in the end had nothing and no one.
I am probably over thinking this stuff. Just seems to me if you do everything you are supposed to do, your life is harder than the people who do not care. I see many examples of that in my life.

Well, today I will keep thinking positive and try to follow my list I made for today.
 
katlupe said:
Not actually to me. My son's stepbrother, was a big part of my life before his mother married my ex-husband (that's a whole other story in itself!) and I always felt close to him. He had a horrible childhood with her as a mother (she was a exotic dancer and always out of town) so he spent a lot of time at my house. He and my son were always close friends. Till his mother married my ex-husband.

Anyway, the stepbrother is my friend on fakebook and I have watched his life go from being a crack addict to marrying a wonderful woman and having two children. I mean he is like the ideal father in all ways. He is everything he never had. Spends a lot of time with his family and includes them in everything he does. They moved to FL two years ago and watching their life has been like watching a television show. I swear they must have unlimited money to live the way they do.

Two days ago his wife suffered a ruptured aneurysm at work. Had 5 hours of surgery yesterday. The doctor said it was a miracle she made it to the operation and a miracle she made it through the operation. Now it is touch and go to see if she makes it 10 days.

So this has given me reasons to think. I kept thinking how my son who is disabled (mentally) was never able to achieve the things his friends did. He got married and divorced. He doesn't have anything or a life anywhere near the kind his stepbrother was able to create for himself. I am sad about that. But I also thought how his stepbrother put his life on fakebook showing what he had and how they did so many things that most people cannot afford to do and now this. And two years ago before they moved, his daughter from a previous relationship died in her early 20's. Suddenly.

So if someone gets everything they want in life, does that mean they end up suffering eventually, in the end? Even though his childhood was not good. So is living a good life as an adult the reward for a bad childhood? My son had a good childhood because he lived with me and I was a good mother. It was different once he grew up.

Kind of reminds me of my ex-husband and how his life ended up. Flaunted it and then in the end had nothing and no one.
I am probably over thinking this stuff. Just seems to me if you do everything you are supposed to do, your life is harder than the people who do not care. I see many examples of that in my life.

Well, today I will keep thinking positive and try to follow my list I made for today.
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I am sure you know that you do “everything you are supposed to do” because you are a responsible good decent person and not in search of any “reward”. (If others had everything they wanted in life, they wouldn’t need to advertise how much material wealth they have. Material wealth is NOTHING, as you know.)

I can say nothing to comfort you. There is no fairness in life. I have 3 dead infant sons, 2 very disabled adopted sons, and two birth children who were born with and overcame certain disabilities. My life mirrors yours in many ways except you are much more competent person than I am, and cope better than I do.

Your writings here brighten the lives of many people. Keep that in mind. We all get situational depression and thoughts float through our minds like bullets. Just dodge those bullets and keep on, keeping on. It’s all any of us any do.
 
katlupe said:
Life can be hard at times and then it seems to get easier. At some points it seems like it cannot get any better than all of a sudden your life goes on and you put those hard times out of your mind.You get past that. I always think of that when someone commits suicide. Like why couldn't they hold on for one day more, one hour more or a tiny bit more because things will change if they did? If they just stuck it out.

Often times in my life, I will see others who seem to have it all. Their life is much easier. They make a lot of money.......well they must, since they spend it freely and publicly so everyone sees what they buy or how they spend it. I have thought to myself, why is, or why was my life so difficult? Why did I work so hard and never get ahead? Even though I never lived extravagantly or with real luxury, I would have liked some peace of mind over such things as paying bills or buying a house that was actually mine.

I think it always points back to being involved with men. Sorry, men. It is true though. If I had never been sidetracked by a new man or a budding relationship, maybe I could have done something about my own situation. Now when I look back and really think about it, the people I envied at some time in my life, had to pay in some way by having some tough things happen to them or their loved ones. When you look up to various famous people in your lifetime, later on you find out they were not what you thought they were. Or their life behind the scenes was not good at all. I see this every day.

Now I am not saying my life is over with. I figure I have a number of good years still left. I don't see myself envying someone else because they are better off than me. Instead I seem to be of the I don't care attitude. I just do what I have to do every day to get through my life. I try to enjoy what I am doing. Even if it is cleaning my apartment or preparing my meal. Now though, I am doing it for myself. Not for anyone else.
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You are right....
The Universe keeps a balance in all things. There is no such thing as free...there is always a price to pay. (sometimes called Karma) Most of the time, for one reasons or another, we don't see the price that is being paid. At least, not at first. By the time we notice, it is often too late.

Good things happen when we accept and are content with what we have, instead of wishing for what others have. This brings peace and happiness. If you can find joy in the little things in life, then you are richer than those who have money but are unhappy!
💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
 
Trila said:
You are right....
The Universe keeps a balance in all things. There is no such thing as free...there is always a price to pay. (sometimes called Karma) Most of the time, for one reasons or another, we don't see the price that is being paid. At least, not at first. By the time we notice, it is often too late.

Good things happen when we accept and are content with what we have, instead of wishing for what others have. This brings peace and happiness. If you can find joy in the little things in life, then you are richer than those who have money but are unhappy!
💕💕💕💕💕💕💕💕
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That is correct. I was so brokenhearted when my first husband left me. Not because I was in love with him. Because I was going to miss the house, the cars, the vacations, etc. etc. I didn't know how I was going to live. So I learned to be a CNA in a nursing home and got a job. But now, two husbands later, no house, no car, no vacations.........yet I am the happiest here than I have been my whole life.

I wonder about that at times. In a few months I will be 70, I should be winding down. Instead I feel positive, usually cheerful and looking forward to my day. I have always been a homebody anyway so this little apartment is where I love to be.
 
katlupe said:
That is correct. I was so brokenhearted when my first husband left me. Not because I was in love with him. Because I was going to miss the house, the cars, the vacations, etc. etc. I didn't know how I was going to live. So I learned to be a CNA in a nursing home and got a job. But now, two husbands later, no house, no car, no vacations.........yet I am the happiest here than I have been my whole life.

I wonder about that at times. In a few months I will be 70, I should be winding down. Instead I feel positive, usually cheerful and looking forward to my day. I have always been a homebody anyway so this little apartment is where I love to be.
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You're life actually sounds perfect....if you're happy, you have it all!!! ❤

I met my BFF in 2000. Since then, she has moved 8 times, back and forth between 3 states. Each time, she just up and went, taking almost nothing with her. I laugh and tell her that she goes wherever the wind blows her! 😁. But you know what? She says that she has everything she needs...and she is happy!
 
katlupe said:
View attachment 91189

Meet "Rabbit" My House Rabbit Companion

Where I live we are allowed to have one pet with no deposit, as long as you have a doctor's slip. My doctor asked me what to write and he wrote it out. If you have another pet, you have to pay $100. deposit on that one. Rabbit is quiet and doesn't make any noise, unless he hears an unusual noise, then he gives me the rabbit warning sign of stomping both back feet loudly.

I never planned to have a rabbit much less a "house rabbit" at the time I got him, I had 3 horses and 2 cats. My other animals had died off by then. In 2014, my husband came in the house from the barn to tell me there was a rabbit in the barn. When he said it was white, I asked if it was a cat and he thought it was a rabbit. I thought that because we had a stray tomcat that came to our house and acted like he lived there, so I thought it was him. I went out to the barn with him and yes, there was a white rabbit!

He was digging around in the hay and didn't seem to be scared of us. But if I tried to get near him, he scooted out of sight. He had made a bed hidden under a pallet of hay. Now I have been writing and attending homesteading events for some time so I was familiar with rabbits. My brother had one as a pet when we were kids but she was kept outside in a shed. I sat on the bench watching him and I instant fell in love with this little guy! When I saw his side though..........it was clear that an owl had picked him up somewhere and he must have gotten away somehow. He had marks on his side. I wanted to doctor him, but he would not let me that near him.

He ended up living out there from Sept to early Feb. Some nights he'd go off and wouldn't come back for 2 or 3 days. I'd go crazy with worrying knowing something would get him. We lived in the middle of the state forest and there were a lot of coyotes and other critters out there. I heard owls every night and baby rabbits screaming right after that hoo hoo. So I was scared and wanted to bring him inside if I could get a hold of him. Plus that was a very cold winter with temps -26.

Well he healed on his own. Eventually, I caught him (but that is another story to tell) and brought him inside. I researched online about caring for a pet rabbit and discovered the world of "House Rabbits" and that is what he is. I had him neutered and he uses a litter box, but I didn't even have to teach him. Pretty much like a cat, just did it. When I moved from my house, I took him with me and he is the talk of the apartment complex. Everyone calls me "the rabbit lady." But lots of people have house rabbits, just not here.
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Oooh.....that is a great story! 💕
 
katlupe said:
Life can be hard at times and then it seems to get easier. At some points it seems like it cannot get any better than all of a sudden your life goes on and you put those hard times out of your mind.You get past that. I always think of that when someone commits suicide. Like why couldn't they hold on for one day more, one hour more or a tiny bit more because things will change if they did? If they just stuck it out.

Often times in my life, I will see others who seem to have it all. Their life is much easier. They make a lot of money.......well they must, since they spend it freely and publicly so everyone sees what they buy or how they spend it. I have thought to myself, why is, or why was my life so difficult? Why did I work so hard and never get ahead? Even though I never lived extravagantly or with real luxury, I would have liked some peace of mind over such things as paying bills or buying a house that was actually mine.

I think it always points back to being involved with men. Sorry, men. It is true though. If I had never been sidetracked by a new man or a budding relationship, maybe I could have done something about my own situation. Now when I look back and really think about it, the people I envied at some time in my life, had to pay in some way by having some tough things happen to them or their loved ones. When you look up to various famous people in your lifetime, later on you find out they were not what you thought they were. Or their life behind the scenes was not good at all. I see this every day.

Now I am not saying my life is over with. I figure I have a number of good years still left. I don't see myself envying someone else because they are better off than me. Instead I seem to be of the I don't care attitude. I just do what I have to do every day to get through my life. I try to enjoy what I am doing. Even if it is cleaning my apartment or preparing my meal. Now though, I am doing it for myself. Not for anyone else.
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@katlupe
I just saw this, and thought of you....
download (3).jpeg
 
Last night I found a new YouTube channel that is a woman who's specialty is Lymphedema. She asked one question which was are you doing this? Well, it turned out I was doing that. It turned out to be putting my compression stockings on after I had my coffee, after I took my sweet old time getting dressed, after I fed Rabbit, etc. Then at times, I'd notice I hadn't put them on at all and now my feet were swelled up so I would put them on.

She asked "what time do you put your compression garments on?" Then she asked, "what time do you take them off at night?" She said the magic number is 20. 20 minutes. You have 20 minutes after you get up to put them on. And you should be taking them off just before you get into your bed. It takes 20 minutes for the lymphatic fluid to drain back down into your feet when you get up in the morning.

So this morning, while my coffee was perking I put the compression stockings on. My feet were not swollen much at all. Pretty easy thing to make part of my routine. I will of course, take them off to shower but put them back on pretty quick.
 
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katlupe said:
Last night I found a new YouTube channel that is a woman who's specialty is Lymphedema. She asked one question which was are you doing this? Well, it turned out I was doing that. It turned out to be putting my compression stockings on after I had my coffee, after I took my sweet old time getting dressed, after I fed Rabbit, etc. Then at times, I'd notice I hadn't put them on at all and now my feet were swelled up so I would put them on.

She asked "what time do you put your compression garments on?" Then she asked, "what time do you take them off at night?" She said the magic number is 20. 20 minutes. You have 20 minutes after you get up to put them on. And you should be taking them off just before you get into your bed. It takes 20 minutes for the lymphatic fluid to drain back down into your feet when you get up in the morning.

So this morning, while my coffee was perking I put the compression stockings on. My feet were not swollen much at all. Pretty easy thing to make part of my routine. I will of course, take them off to shower but put them back on pretty quick.
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I like simple solutions! 😊 ....so glad that you found a change in routine that helps you feel better! 💓
 
I am disappointed. My new mop that I thought was going to make cleaning easier for me is not working out that way. The swivel head just turns any which way when I try to mop a corner with it. I used it to clean the walls of my shower and it was so hard. The mop itself is very lightweight and I love the pads that don't need stinky household cleaning supplies. But I have no control of the thing! I ended up throwing it down on the floor. I am so frustrated.

I looked on Amazon where I bought it and everyone loves it. Everywhere I looked everyone loved the swivel head. I am trying to disable that to make it stationary. I must be ignorant.
 
katlupe said:
I am disappointed. My new mop that I thought was going to make cleaning easier for me is not working out that way. The swivel head just turns any which way when I try to mop a corner with it. I used it to clean the walls of my shower and it was so hard. The mop itself is very lightweight and I love the pads that don't need stinky household cleaning supplies. But I have no control of the thing! I ended up throwing it down on the floor. I am so frustrated.

I looked on Amazon where I bought it and everyone loves it. Everywhere I looked everyone loved the swivel head. I am trying to disable that to make it stationary. I must be ignorant.
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Just return it to Amazon and get a different one. But I think they’d refund your money and let you keep it.
 

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