Reflective thoughts and poems

palides2021 said:
Low Carb Isn't For Everyone

What do I eat on a low carb diet?
Instead of focusing on fat, I focus on
enough protein and lowering my carbs.
Carbs are found in rice, pasta, breads,
Oatmeal, cereals, fruits, and vegetables.
First of all, I aim for 20-30 carbs a day.
Some consider that very low carb.
I love my two eggs sautéed in olive oil every morning.
A slice of Monterey Jack cheese, and a
Decaf coffee with almond milk and a
dollop of heavy cream finishes my 'noon' breakfast.
Zero carbs.
Then walk for half hour. Exercise is important.
Snacks include handful of almonds, walnuts, peanuts
About 2-4 grams of carbs in that mix.
Sometimes, I have Rebel keto ice cream with
only 1 g in a serving. Or sugar free jello.
Or an almond flour muffin or sugar free
cookie using stevia instead of sugar.
Dinner is about five to six hours past noon.
Protein is a main staple, either cod, salmon, or shrimp.
Or chicken, lamb, or sausages
With a salad and one vegetable, and sliced cucumber
Olive oil and vinegar, I feel nice and full.
Dinner is usually less than 10 grams carbs.
Another half-hour walk after dinner.
Herbal tea with almond milk is good at night.
Or a cup of chicken bone broth
To keep the muscle twitches down.
Oh, yeah, you have to make sure you're
getting enough electrolytes, so I have a solution
of that every day and sip several glasses of water.
A low carb diet isn't for everyone
But it seems to work for me.

P.A. 12/5/22
Click to expand...
I LOVE IT!!!! Thank you for answering my request!
 

Laughter is so important in our lives, and it is good to be reminded of it. I love to surf on SF and find humorous threads and posts. Even some of the music posted here sometimes makes me laugh. But one person who used to laugh a lot was my late husband. His laugh was music to my ears. So I wrote a poem about it many years ago. Enjoy!

Musical Laughter

First come the bubbling sounds
From your lips; teasing, soft at first — 
Like champagne fizzing in a glass;
Like a feather tickling your nose.
Your hand, like a cork, tries to stop it,
But too late, for it now erupts
Into thousands of jingling bells
Each crystal clear, ringing loudly.

Unmistakable laughter, distinctly yours,
For all to hear, enjoy, delight in;
Only you can make those sounds.
They tickle my heart, my lips, my eyes,
As I join you in this frolicking moment,
Where nothing else exists
But a good, hearty laugh
And a few happy tears to go along with it.

P.S. 2006
 
There was a time when I was dabbling with Noteflight.com, which is an online music composition site. I have made several compositions from there. They provide the instruments and you just put the notes together and you can also save your work as sheet music. So I did it for the first Christmas after my husband passed. Once I got the music just right, then I used it to make a video and uploaded that video to Youtube. I also used free photos to make it a movie.

Doing this was a very cathartic process. I have found out that creativity is wonderful for PTSD. I am sure I had PTSD after his sudden death, and composing the music was very good for me. I might start doing it again. Haven't composed in awhile.

You can click on the Christmas Music Video link to listen to it. (By the way, it has become one of my most watched videos).

Christmas Music Video


Here are the words to that music video:

Wishing you were here with me, on Christmas Day.
Oh!

Will angels love you the way I do?
Will angels hold you close the way I do?

Photos bring back memories
of happy times shared.
Oh!

Will angels love you the way I do?
Will angels hold you close the way I do?

Missing you on Christmas day
and always loving you!

Will angels love you the way I do?
Will angels hold you close the way I do?"

P.A. 2013

For a more recent Christmas song (about a year ago), I used my Yamaha synthesizer and Canon camera. I composed the music, then saved it and replayed it, filming it, then I uploaded that to my iMovie where I added photos, etc. Another creative endeavor, and more cheerful than the previous one in 2013! However, you can hear the small deflections (this is done in real time, so human error is evident!). No sheet music in this case, just free playing and composing as I go along. While playing the music, I pictured myself walking cheerfully down the street in downtown, with boots and coat and scarf. I walk and walk, browsing the shops. Good feelings. See if you can hear a short theme that is from a well-known song.

 
Last edited:
palides2021 said:
There was a time when I was dabbling with Noteflight.com, which is an online music composition site. I have made several compositions from there. They provide the instruments and you just put the notes together and you can also save your work as sheet music. So I did it for the first Christmas after my husband passed. Once I got the music just right, then I used it to make a video and uploaded that video to Youtube. I also used free photos to make it a movie.

Doing this was a very cathartic process. I have found out that creativity is wonderful for PTSD. I am sure I had PTSD after his sudden death, and composing the music was very good for me. I might start doing it again. Haven't composed in awhile.

You can click on the Christmas Music Video link to listen to it. (By the way, it has become one of my most watched videos).

Christmas Music Video


Here are the words to that music video:

Wishing you were here with me, on Christmas Day.
Oh!

Will angels love you the way I do?
Will angels hold you close the way I do?

Photos bring back memories
of happy times shared.
Oh!

Will angels love you the way I do?
Will angels hold you close the way I do?

Missing you on Christmas day
and always loving you!

Will angels love you the way I do?
Will angels hold you close the way I do?"

P.A. 2013

For a more recent Christmas song (about a year ago), I used my Yamaha synthesizer and Canon camera. I composed the music, then saved it and replayed it, filming it, then I uploaded that to my iMovie where I added photos, etc. Another creative endeavor, and more cheerful than the previous one in 2013! However, you can hear the small deflections (this is done in real time, so human error is evident!). No sheet music in this case, just free playing and composing as I go along. While playing the music, I pictured myself walking cheerfully down the street in downtown, with boots and coat and scarf. I walk and walk, browsing the shops. Good feelings. See if you can hear a short theme that is from a well-known song.

Click to expand...
You are so talented! Listened to both of the videos.
 
As Christmas approaches, images of what it means to me flash before me; snow, sleds, Christmas trees, Santa, jingling of bells, wreaths, gifts, Christ's birth, cheer, eggnog, parties, and yes, Hallmark movies! Some people don't do well during this holiday, but it never has been the case for me. We celebrate Christ's birth on this day and it is a cause for celebration, not a time to be feeling miserable.

I found a poem I wrote about 7 years ago for Christmas, and decided to share with you. Enjoy! (Sorry about the font, it was giving me problems, so this is the best I could do).

Christmas​

​

May the brightness of Christmas​

Shine in your eyes
To change the way you see life
And give light to
The ever increasing darkness.

May the goodness of Christmas​

Fill your hearts with joy,
To cherish everything and everyone
Under the sun and the moon,
Tall or small, rich or poor.

May the spirit of Christmas​

Send you the ultimate peace
That embraces stillness
And wraps you in a blanket
Of snow-white love.

May the beauty of Christmas​

Stir the love inside
Each and everyone of you
So that you may witness
The miracle of Christ's birth.

May the love of Christmas​

Join hands with you ​

And bind the hearts ​

Of family and friends​

Not only on Christmas day,​

But on every day.​

​

P.A. 2015​

​

​

​

 
Today, after breakfast, I painted a little more of the Santa Claus painting (almost done and will share soon) and then went on the treadmill for my 30 minute walk. I usually place my laptop on my dashboard and walk while surfing the Internet. I am actually writing on here while walking.

However, I had a big scare today. When I turned on the treadmill using the orange key, nothing happened except for a whirring noise. That was unusual. I had planted my feet on each side of the treadmill in anticipation of it starting (I learned to do this after a few times when it raced ahead, because my laptop somehow hit some buttons when I placed it on the dashboard, and I almost was thrown off). But the belt wasn't moving today. So I removed the key, then placed it back on again, and again that whirring noise returned. I repeated this a few times. Nothing was happening. At least that was what I thought.

All kinds of thoughts raced in my mind - is it broke? How will I exercise in this kind of weather? Should I call someone to haul it away? Is there a warranty on it? Do I need to call an electrician? and so on. I turned it on again, the same whirring sound. I removed the key and looked around for the power switch. I found the power button at the bottom and turned it off, then back on. I had read somewhere that this simple step could do wonders....and I slapped on the orange key, whirr, whirr, whirr - no change. I removed the key.

As I stepped away, feeling sad, I turned and looked nostalgically at my friend, the treadmill that helped keep me healthy all these years. I gazed fondly at the long belt, wondering how all the dust had accumulated in the corners (I must dust it!) and it struck me as looking odd. I don't remember the incline being that high off the ground. It was usually on the "0" position although occasionally I did raise it, but I always put it back to "0". Then it clicked. Perhaps the whirring sound I had heard was the incline going up? I took the laptop off the dashboard, put the orange key back in and started hitting all the buttons on the dashboard. Nothing.

Then I decided to hold down the "incline" button. At first, I didn't notice anything, then from the corner of my eye, I somehow saw the belt lowering itself slowly. So slowly, that I almost gave up. To my amazement, as I kept my finger on the down button of the "incline" the whole machine eventually leveled. As soon as it reached the floor, the whirring sound stopped. Then I heard the familiar click that I always hear when starting the machine, and I broke out into a big grin.

Feeling elated, I planted the laptop back on the dashboard, positioned my feet to each side of the belt, and slapped on the orange key; the treadmill belt started moving at its 1 mile-an-hour rate. I was in heaven! I just saved myself all kinds of agony - getting it hauled, going shopping for a new one, and having to fork out hundreds of dollars (maybe a thousand by now) in the process, then having it be delivered. I love this baby!

As I walk on the treadmill,
aiming to burn 100-110 calories,
while writing my thoughts down,
I look outside the window
at the gray, dreary day
with its freezing rain,
and leafless, black trees
and it doesn't bother me.
I feel nice and warm,
inside my house
doing the two things
I love to do,
walk and write,
and feeling quite connected
to the world in my own way.

P.A. 12/15/2022
 
So much has happened since I last wrote here. I finished my Santa Claus painting and am including it here:
You can see the folds in the canvas, and I still need to straighten it out and frame it. But it was a lot of fun to paint!
I used a paint-by-number kit, and after I finished it, I went in there and added my own touches, which is great.
It's relaxing, and fun.
Screen Shot 2022-12-16 at 3.40.24 PM.jpg

Meanwhile, I "officially" stepped down from my group yesterday, and gave a farewell speech. I received accolades and some people sent me flowers! I am sharing the photo of flowers with you. It is quite uplifting to know that others appreciate what you have done. It is not often that I get flowers. So this was a real treat for me.

2022-11-15 10.05.11.jpg
 
Today, went out with my son to the Mall. Walked around, then watched the movie Puss N Boots at the cinema there, which was very entertaining. I was thinking about it the rest of the afternoon and we were talking about it for awhile.
Then we had a bite to eat at the Olive Garden (my favorite is chicken and all you can eat salad) and finished the evening with a visit to the City Park in our town to see the light show. They had Christmas music playing in the pavilion, and I wasn't sure if my camera was able to pick up all the nuances of the flashing lights, but this was the best I could do. I had hoped the Fine Arts Museum would be open but it had already closed. It's located in the City Park. Next time. Otherwise, it was a rare, fun day, and I called it a "mini vacation."

IMG_0994.JPGIMG_1000.JPG
 
Ok, I'm back! Couldn't stay away. I felt as if something was missing. But I did get my work done, which was sorely needed.

We had very cold weather these past few days, as did many of the people on SF. One night, our electricity went out and we used double blankets and double clothing. The temperature in the house had dropped to 63, as a result which isn't bad (from 70). By morning, the electricity had returned, and I was quite happy to raise the temperature. Our electric cables in our neighborhood are underground, but they are connected to cables above ground that are further away. So if one of the other cables go down, it affects us, and that is what happened in this case.

Made some low carb cream cheese cookies (about 1.5 - 2 g carbs per cookie) - 24 cookies
Heat oven 360 degrees. Place parchment paper on baking sheet.

Mix in one bowl:
1/2 box cream cheese (softened)
4 tbsp butter (softened)
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract

Mix in another bowl:
2 1/2 cups Almond flour
1/2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp stevia
dash salt
18 chopped pecans (optional)
1/2 tsp cinnamon

Mix the wet and dry ingredients. If the dough is too dry, sprinkle a little olive oil in it. Make into 24 balls. Place on baking sheet. Press down on each cookie.
Bake for 11-13 minutes.
Sprinkle with cinnamon

I've been munching on these chewy delicious cookies in the mornings with my eggs/cheese/coffee with cream, or in the evenings with tea. I wrote the recipe down here so I wouldn't forget it. I tend to find recipes online, make the dish, then forget where I found the recipe!

Here is a poem I wrote a few years ago. As you can see, I have many hobbies, and realize they have kept me happy all these years.

The Secret to Stopping Time

The secret to stopping time
Is to go with the flow of the river
Wade in its cool waters

No care in the world.

Let it guide you to where you need to be
Where there is no clock
No minutes
No seconds
No aging or loss.

Lose yourself to find yourself.

In that ethereal moment
That elusive dimension

Let it swallow you in its wholeness
Find yourself completely immersed
In the magic of a song or a poem
In painting, knitting, writing, gardening
Lose yourself in a movie or a book
Or rest in a loved one's arms

Whatever you do
Never, ever stop dreaming.

P.A. 2018
 
Today, I went for a half-hour drive to Pennsylvania with my son. He had to get some banking done and I offered to take him. I needed to get out and about. It was sunny and in the 50s, which made me roll down the window and inhale deeply as we drove on the local roads. As we drove further north, listening to easy listening music, remnants of the snowfall from last week were more and more evident. Our town had hardly any snow, but it became apparent that other areas had been hit harder from the snow storm. But, it seems like everyone was out and about today, enjoying the unseasonably warm weather. If I could dream a little, I would say it almost felt normal, almost pre-Covid normal. I wonder if we will ever get back to that carefree state?

On another note, the other day I drove to the local bank by myself and decided to do business outside in an attempt to avoid the tellers. As usual, I had to maneuver the car back and forth to make sure I was close enough to the outside machine so my arm could reach out to get the box to put my documents into. Still not close enough. By the time, I lowered my window and opened the door to reach the box to put my check and driver's license into, someone else had arrived and I could hear the teller talking to them. I finished what I had to do and hit the "send" button followed by the "call" button, waiting for the teller to respond. Usually, they would respond right away and let me know they "will be right with me." No one responded. So I hit the call button again. I did this a total of 4 times during a five-minute period. Nothing. I decided they were busy, so I turned off my car. Mind you, I waited outside in my car for close to 20 minutes. I did not want to go inside for a number of reasons. Meanwhile the SUV that came after me left, and two more cars arrived. I could hear the teller talking to them. I was getting a bad feeling in my stomach because no one had serviced my request. It wasn't as if I was doing anything complicated. Just cashing a check. By now, I was fuming. I drove around to the front and marched into the empty lobby.
The teller asked me if I was "Number 30?"
"I don't know what number I am, just that I was waiting 20 minutes out there," I snapped.
She replied, "Well the teller was busy with customers in the lobby."
The lobby was empty and there was no apology from her or the teller at the window (who had her back turned toward me).
"I just need this cashed," I said, pointing to the check she was holding (apparently from my having placed it in the box that came into the bank).
She cashed it for me and asked if I wanted an envelope.
"No thanks," I said. I walked out, ready to withdraw all my money from that bank.
I rarely get upset over things, but poor customer service in a bank that I had been doing business with for decades is not acceptable.

It took me about 10 minutes to get the terrible feeling out of my system. Why was I so upset? I asked myself that as I went to the post office, and got some stamps to finish sending off some holiday cards. While I was doing this, the post office clerk was nice to me, and I immediately felt better. I felt I had been treated terribly at the bank, as if I had done something wrong without knowing the reason why. This was not the first time. I wonder if I am getting PTSD just dealing with the bank's poor customer service. My disappointment with their service had been brewing for months now. The previous time was even worse; they had made a "mistake" which required several phone calls on my part, but I won't go into that. I understand that they have new management because the lady I used to do business with there has moved to another branch and she took her regulars with her. As a result, I don't know any of the tellers anymore.

Banking is a relationship -
One built with trust and respect
That is developed over the years.

My blood pressure
cannot handle
rude or indifferent tellers.

Years ago, we used to be
customers with Bank of America,
but we did not stay with that bank
because their tellers and staff
were indifferent and cold. No matter
which branch we went to. I still
shudder at how callously they treated us.

I might have to consider doing the same here.

I probably will avoid this branch
from now on,
until I figure if I want to stay or not -
and preserve my peace of mind.

P.A. Dec. 29, 2022
 
Today, it was raining and somewhat gloomy outside, but I made a concentrated effort to enjoy the day. Each day is a blessing, and I am grateful I am alive!

This morning, for the first time, we used the waffle maker that my son got me for Christmas. He helped prepare the waffle batter and we ended up making a nice batch of fluffy waffles. I put some butter on them. Of course, I do not eat waffles unless they come from almond flour, so after he goes back to school, I will experiment with the waffle maker. It was a lot of fun because the kitchen smelled so good afterward.

During dinner, we played Scrabble. My son won and I was happy for him. Playing Scrabble used to be a daily ritual during dinner when my son was little. He basically grew up playing Scrabble. So this was a nostalgic day for me and brought back memories of when my husband was alive and would play with us. Tonight, we plan to see a Shrek movie. I have go get up early tomorrow morning (6AM) to get ready and go to church with my son. I want to greet the New Year by going to church and communing. Afterward, we might eat at a restaurant or come home. Either way is fine with me.

As memories of past times come pouring in, I remember my husband and how we would dance together during these holidays. Just the two of us, to soft, easy music. R.I.P my hubby!

The Last Waltz

The music begins, soft and rhythmic
You lead me to the dance floor
We move to and fro, to and fro
Making promises of ocean waves
Sunlit skies and star-lit nights.

We turn and whirl, we move together
Our love grows deeper with each step
We move fro and to, fro and to
Making plans, fulfilling dreams
Sharing all that life brings.

I let you guide me along life's path
As if life depended on it.
You hold me gently
As if I am part of you.
Where you take me,
I have never been.

The music has stopped.
I search for a place to rest my head,
Seeking a haven for my heart
On the empty dance floor.

P.A. 2018


Happy New Year 2023!
 

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