>>What I didn't care for was the senior housing. All that social stuff doesn't interest me. Seems to me everybody wants to know your business. >>
At the better senior living places we've investigated (some being visited multiple times), I've never gotten the impression that residents feel "pressured" into joining activities.
My MIL loved social contact but liked to keep it superficial and casual. She never appeared to have any problems limiting her time.
What she DID have, and appreciated, was the feeling of safety - a secure campus facility with 24/7 staff and help at the press of a button. She liked knowing that if she missed two meals in a row, someone would immediately check or call to be sure she was okay. No more worries about housekeeping, laundry, or falling in the bathtub. 5 acres with lovely gardens and walking paths - and this was in the heart of a big city!
As Starsong says, there is a BIG difference between Independent, Assisted, and Skilled Care (e.g., nursing). To lump together such disparate types is like saying that all the seniors here, right now, live in the same kind of housing and have the same identical issues. It's simply not accurate.
My DH and I are currently researching senior living facilities and will be downsizing in the next 1-2 yrs. We have wonderful neighbors, but everybody is away at work during the day. We're having to limit our travel because we don't like leaving the house empty for weeks on end.
It's better to move sooner rather than later - less hassle and more freedom. I will be happy to be rid of taking care of a SFH and large garden.