Senior Grooming

L

Lon

Well-known Member
Location
Central California
Senior Grooming
When I was a young man and looked at some old men with a forest of hair protruding from their nostrils, vines of tangled hair in their ears and eyebrows that had to make their vision difficult, I thought to myself, that will never be me.
Well----here I am So help me, I wake up in the morning and I have two or three inches of hair that has grown overnight in my ears and nostrils and I have to blink to see through the covering of eyebrows. I really have to work at it, scissors, clippers, pruning shears are all required to keep on top of it.
On top of this, there is the problem of FLORESCENT LIGHTING which I think they should do away with.
When I was shaving this morning and viewed my face and body on the expansive glass mirror in the bath, I beheld this grotesque blue veined creature staring at me. Every wart, pimple, bruise, rash, abrasion, moles and scars were visually enhanced by this damn fluorescent lighting. I thought there must be some mistake, this is not me. I have seen better bodies and faces in the morgue. I went to the guest bathroom and looked in the mirror and though the mirror was not as large, the lighting was standard bulbs and not fluorescent. What a relief I knew there was some mistake. Now the creature in the mirror looked almost human. Tomorrow I am going to make it a point to get the lighting changed in the master bathroom as I can no longer confront this creature in the mirror posing as me.​
 

Oh Lon, I have a mirror like that. I plan on sneaking up on it tomorrow morning (with hammer in hand). :p
 

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My bathroom overhead fluorescent is not very reliable, always blinking on and off (needs fixing) so I use a night light in there, and it's not so bad when I see myself in the mirror. If I need to see up-close and personal, I wait until broad daylight and look in the hall mirror, after I've had my coffee of course when I can better face the awful truth.
 
Up until last month I had two 60-watt old-school bulbs in the overhead light fixture in the bathroom, and I dare say I was a handsome lad.

The energy efficiency people came in, did their tests and decided that I needed those new LED bulbs installed.

I became Elephant Man overnight - stiff little hairs sprouting from my eyebrows, my beard constantly throwing off oddly-angled shoots, my ears becoming more Hobbit-like every day ...

I'm thinking of ripping out the bulbs and going with candlelight. :cower:
 
After finding myself howling at the moon I decided to start trimming more, and in more places...
 
Another thing that young people say about old people is that they smell. That there is a certain "old people" odor. That of course is untrue.. Old people do not have a specific scent. What happens is that when people age, their ability, either physically or mentally to care for their hygiene can diminish. Perhaps they don't shower or bathe as often due to not being able to get in the tub. Perhaps they don't wash their clothing, or change as often. That is where the "smell" comes from. Not age.
 
Shalimar said:
What kind of ears do hobbits have? Do I really want to know?
Click to expand...

Well, I know they have hairy feet - as do I - they dress in bright colors - which I do not - and were described by their creator J.R.R. Tolkien as "fattish in the stomach and shortish in the leg".

Yep, that's me now.

Their ears were usually slightly pointed, like mine. And covered in hair.

QuickSilver said:
I think the word you are looking for is "ripe"
Click to expand...

I think the word he is looking for is "natural stench". :playful:
 
Lon my problem is that as bad as I look in the morning, my body feels even worse. I'm amazed that I can feel so bad and still be alive....hours later the joints start working again, but until then it's ugly.
 

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