Senior's club invaded by high school students

debodun

debodun

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Location
way upstate in New York, USA
At our last local senior's meeting, about a dozen teenagers showed up and their supervising teacher asked if they could start attending and playing play Bingo with us (they are a "special needs" group of students). At the time, there weren't enough seats to accommodate them, so our program leader had to turn them away. However, I am starting to get alarmed that the SENIOR program is starting to become open to anyone that happens to see us and walk in. We've also had young mothers bring infants in and stay to eat the catered lunch and other senior members bring their grandkids like it was a day care program. I spoke to our group leader about this, but I get the impression that she is too kindhearted to turn people away. Or am I just getting to be an old crank?
 

I think it's a great idea that young people get to meet seniors and see what they are really like.

I think young people think that instead of the Young and the Restless, that we are the Old and the Useless.

Welcome them. Make friends with them. Call on them to help you.
 
Well, I guess the answer has to depend on the stated purpose of the club. When it was first organized, did it say, "Seniors Club, All Are Welcome," or "Seniors Club, For People 55 and Over?" Whatever the rules say, they should be adhered to.
 

You're not an old crank debodun . Our senior center is for people 50 and over. I wouldn't expect (or want ) any young kids there . Once in a while , a grandkid will come in when grandma is in a bind for babysitting. That's okay once in a while , but for having groups of younger people join in , I don't think that would go over well here. Are you at an actual center or just an informal group setting ? Either way, I'd find out what "the rules" are ,and go from there.
 
I imagine it would depend how often you meet, if it’s a daily group it might be ok once a week or so but I don’t think it should be at every meeting and I don’t think it should be attended by young mothers, would they find it acceptable for a group of Seniors turning up to their mother and baby groups ?
 
I don't see any harm in having a youngster or two attend, what secret rituals of the elderly do you practice at these meetings.

I actually feel bad for the youngsters that have to attend a senior citizens meeting, I would view it as a form of child abuse.

Seriously though, I think that your leader could work to schedule your meeting for a set time and then following that meeting have the special needs kids come in to play games with those seniors that would value the experience.

Good luck!
 
There is too much separation of the ages in our societies these days.

As a child we played in the street as a mixed age bunch.
The oldest were girls about 14 years old and they were the social leaders who made sure the little ones didn't get left out.
Today children seem only to play with other children the same age.

Adults are becoming just as isolated within their own age groupings.

Some people find it hard to fit in even within their own age group. The disabled spring to mind.
Disabled children, even if mainstreamed in a regular school seldom make lasting friendships.
They need social interaction and if they can find it amongst a group of grannies, then they are very lucky,
A little kindly tolerance is probably all they can hope for but even that is valuable.
 
This an issue of multiple degrees.
Some seniors are very resistant to change of routine. The bingo with fellow, known, seniors could be all the socializing they want or can handle.
I agree that most of us (humans) would benefit from interacting others of most all ages, but I don't agree that anyone should do it involuntarily.
I put the onus of this on the 'special needs teacher' for just showing up with the dozen special needs kids and asking for admittance and inclusion. 'Special needs' is a clear description - their needs are quite different than the seniors. The senior group leader needs to prioritize the needs of the seniors.
I'm hard pressed to think of any indoor group activity welcoming that many unknown and unannounced, especially when they are clearly different people.
 
The group was turned away. Perhaps the teacher thought that a request to participate in the bingo would be more successful if the seniors could actually see the children face to face.

The members of the seniors club should now hold a discussion and express their feelings. Better to do this than just mutter about it.
 
I was going to purchase a mobile home some time back, but didn't because I asked about children. It is a senior park. I want a senior park because it is quiet. When the manager told me they LOVE having all the grandkids over in the summer for a month or two, and on holidays, and EVERYONE in the park just ADORED having them around, I said thanks but no thanks.

I am old now. I want peace. If I was at a senior club and kids were there..I would not go back.
I've had my fill of the little darlin's. And no, I don't have grandkids. Yay.
 
Kaya said:
I was going to purchase a mobile home some time back, but didn't because I asked about children. It is a senior park. I want a senior park because it is quiet. When the manager told me they LOVE having all the grandkids over in the summer for a month or two, and on holidays, and EVERYONE in the park just ADORED having them around, I said thanks but no thanks.

I am old now. I want peace. If I was at a senior club and kids were there..I would not go back.
I've had my fill of the little darlin's. And no, I don't have grandkids. Yay.
Click to expand...

Good for you. You found out what choice suits your lifestyle .
 
Kaya mentioned a 'senior' mobile home park, my ex lives in a "community". It's one of those places that were developed about 30 years ago. They all bought about the same time, had kids, and retired all about the same time. They want to turn it into a seniors only place. The problem is trying to sell their homes. How many seniors want to buy an acre of grass, three bedrooms, 2 bathes, and a finished basement den?
 
fuzzybuddy said:
How "special needs" kids are they? And are these government sponsored programs? If the kids have behavioral issues, no. And if these are government sponsored programs, they are intended only for Seniors. Kids , young mothers aren't seniors.
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"Special needs" is a euphemism for retarded or mental defective.:

People have become frightened by descriptive words and phrases. We're not even supposed to call corpses dead; we're supposed to say that they've "passed."

The thread topic really is, "Should the retarded be given free rein in a senior center?" Do you wish to take care of the little darlings? Their "teachers" and parents don't; that's why they'd like to dump them on the elderly. These "children" (they may be adults) may not even be able to live at home; many live in secure "group homes" with physically strong personnel.
 
Edited because I left out a very important small word in the first line. I've inserted it in blue.

These children may not be as intellectually retarded as assumed.

The school where I worked was once approached by a special school for help integrating their students into mainstream schools. There were 9 children who were ready to move out of the special school but they needed to fit in. Intellectually they were on a par with the kids in my maths class but having been institutionalised their behaviours were rather odd. For one thing they were overly affectionate to the teachers on the playground which is not normal for the average Year 9 school girl.

For two days a week they travelled to our school and took part in lessons where the could fit in without disrupting the learning. They wore the same uniform as our students which was very important to acceptance. My maths class of 18 students absorbed all nine of them and my students were happy to be assigned one of the new girls between two of them. They were to be helpers if necessary. In reality they became buddies.

This experiment went on for the best part of a year. My maths class never went so well. My students were much more co-operative than usual and the 'special' kids learnt everything I taught them which was mainly geometry subjects. We knew they were ready for mainstreaming when they started to behave like regular teens. At the end of the year each of them went on either to a senior high school or to employment training.

The point of this story? Socialisation is important for all of us if we are ever to fit in. I'm not sure that a seniors club is the best option but perhaps the teacher is getting desperate for somewhere to develop social skills. I hope she finds somewhere where this can happen.
 
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I just saw the following on another thread. Is this what we want for the elderly?

menubar2.jpg
The Burns Murder​
On the morning of Monday, Jan. 27, 1958, the mutilated and severed head of Edna Burns was found in the vestibule of Immaculate Conception Church at North 13th Street and Garrrison Avenue.

The story that quickly emerged that day and in the days that followed would be burned into the collective memory of the city and into the individual memories of the people of the city who lived through those days.

It is a story of mental illness, delusion and matricide.

Sometime between 8 a.m. and 1 p.m. that Monday, Bobby Joe Burns, the son of Jesse and Edna Burns, drugged his mother and decapitated her in the kitchen of the family's home at 2203 South L Street. At least twice before, Bobby Joe Burns, 28, had been committed to a mental institution for paranoid schizophrenia and was given to abusing narcotics, according to Southwest American news stories from the time.

After his capture in the area west of Moffett on Tuesday, he would claim to police that his mother had consented and that he was enacting an Aztec sacrifice ritual.
BobbyJoeBurns.jpg
This photo of Bobby Joe Burns
"shortly after his capture" appeared
in the Southwest American on Jan. 29, 1958.​

According to the American, he explained to police that human anatomy and geographical anatomy are related. The ritual included removal of an eye, part of the nose and part of the tongue. Bobby Joe Burns also referred police to verses in Revelations 20: 9-11. He carried his mother's head to the church wrapped in a sheet, then walked over the Garrison Avenue bridge into eastern Oklahoma, sleeping in a cold farm field that Monday night.

Burns confession to police was done while munching candy bars and drinking sodas. During the questioning, his brother delivered two packages of cigarettes to him and left after saying, "Joe, we don't blame you for what happened?"

Edna Burns had secured the release of her son from a state mental institution about a year prior to the murder. Other members of the family had tried to persuade Edna Burns to return Bobby Joe to the hospital.

Following his capture, Circuit Court Judge Paul Wolfe immediately committed Bobby Joe Burns to the state hospital for 30 days of observation.

Despite later asking that he be charged with murder and executed, he would later rescind that request and ask to be released. Burns would remain in the mental hospital for the rest of his life. Although solid confirmation of his death there many decades later hasn't been obtained, it is believed he died in the state hospital sometime in the 1980s.

The luridness and shocking nature of the murder has ensured that it is still talked about today.

This was a local story that was all over the news when I was in high school.
 
"Special needs" is not a euphemism for mental illness.

There are several reasons why a program involving seniors and teens, with or without special needs, is not going to work but physical danger to the seniors is not one of them. Lack of consultation is the obvious one in the case mentioned in the OP.

Big Horn, looking at the sentence that you have posted from my #17 post, I see that I have left out a small but very important word in the first sentence. I have now gone back and have edited my post. Perhaps you might like to review it to see whether this changes your understanding of my meaning.

See https://www.seniorforums.com/showth...d-by-high-school-students?p=731121#post731121
 
I don't particularly like the term "retarded". However, I am tired of the political correctness being bombarded on everyone's heads, too.

Point is...kids don't belong in a senior club. Period. Mentally challenged or not. Being babysat or not. NO KIDS.

But that's me.
 
debodun said:
At our last local senior's meeting, about a dozen teenagers showed up and their supervising teacher asked if they could start attending and playing play Bingo with us (they are a "special needs" group of students). At the time, there weren't enough seats to accommodate them, so our program leader had to turn them away.

However, I am starting to get alarmed that the SENIOR program is starting to become open to anyone that happens to see us and walk in. We've also had young mothers bring infants in and stay to eat the catered lunch and other senior members bring their grandkids like it was a day care program.

I spoke to our group leader about this, but I get the impression that she is too kindhearted to turn people away. Or am I just getting to be an old crank?
Click to expand...

Well, at least your program leader turned them away, so there wasn't much of an invasion after all I guess. I imagine it's how your senior meeting guidelines are described, if others who are not seniors are allowed to participate. I think it's weird that young mothers and their babies are there, or people's grandchildren.

I don't think you're being a crank Deb, if it's a place dedicated to seniors, then that is what you should expect.
 
SeaBreeze said:
Well, at least your program leader turned them away, so there wasn't much of an invasion after all I guess. I imagine it's how your senior meeting guidelines are described, if others who are not seniors are allowed to participate. I think it's weird that young mothers and their babies are there, or people's grandchildren.

I don't think you're being a crank Deb, if it's a place dedicated to seniors, then that is what you should expect.
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I agree. If a person is going to a senior function, then it should be a senior function. Most senior things indicate "over 55" for their attendees. I do not think a bunch of seniors attending a function for seniors should have to contend with children, special needs or not.
 

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