She...

Do you want to justify to me why "going on living" is so important?
What would be the loss if I ... stopped living?

I've been there. I agree "going on living" is not important if there are factors that make life not worth living. There were times upon wake up I was so disappointed I didn't die in my sleep was how I began my day. I was convinced my living only made things worse for people. I thought of the different ways how to do it. I always have enough pills on hand to end it if I must.

But...............I'm not depressed anymore. In my case, my son had a son and I love my grandson So Much that my heart opened again. My goal is to live as long as I can, that he will always remember me. I'd love to see him graduate from college, etc. He's three years old.

I don't like it, the loneliness truly hurts at times, but it's no reason for me to die yet. Yes, I felt like you. I know what you're saying, I understand. I wouldn't try the life is a gift thing because I'm not sure it's true. Our lives are in our own hands and it's up to the individual. I wouldn't convince you to live if you really don't want to; I just would urge you to start ignoring the pain if you can. Also, and I am being serious............try pot. That's the gift, IMO.
 

CAKCy said:
Do you want to justify to me why "going on living" is so important?
What would be the loss if I ... stopped living?
Click to expand...
That is a legitimate question, one worthy of consideration. I am not one to just say "every life matters". I think it is a very personal decision, only one you can make.

That said, I think perhaps you have already made the decision, at least for now. The very fact you are posting and interacting here seems to me to be an indication you are coming down on or leaning towards the going on living side.

I hope that is true, and hope that path gets easier for you!
 
Pepper said:
Do you want to justify to me why "going on living" is so important?
What would be the loss if I ... stopped living?

I've been there. I agree "going on living" is not important if there are factors that make life not worth living. There were times upon wake up I was so disappointed I didn't die in my sleep was how I began my day. I was convinced my living only made things worse for people. I thought of the different ways how to do it. I always have enough pills on hand to end it if I must.

But...............I'm not depressed anymore. In my case, my son had a son and I love my grandson So Much that my heart opened again. My goal is to live as long as I can, that he will always remember me. I'd love to see him graduate from college, etc. He's three years old.

I don't like it, the loneliness truly hurts at times, but it's no reason for me to die yet. Yes, I felt like you. I know what you're saying, I understand. I wouldn't try the life is a gift thing because I'm not sure it's true. Our lives are in our own hands and it's up to the individual. I wouldn't convince you to live if you really don't want to; I just would urge you to start ignoring the pain if you can. Also, and I am being serious............try pot. That's the gift, IMO.
Click to expand...
I would like to try pot for a great many reasons 😂 keep forgetting to ask doctor for a card 🤦🏻‍♀️.

I so agree. During the worst of times my favorite son would always come to mind and I’d realize how much he needed me. And now, my youngest great granddaughter, who is 3 as well, such a joy.
 

Pepper said:
Do you want to justify to me why "going on living" is so important?
What would be the loss if I ... stopped living?

I've been there. I agree "going on living" is not important if there are factors that make life not worth living. There were times upon wake up I was so disappointed I didn't die in my sleep was how I began my day. I was convinced my living only made things worse for people. I thought of the different ways how to do it. I always have enough pills on hand to end it if I must.

But...............I'm not depressed anymore. In my case, my son had a son and I love my grandson So Much that my heart opened again. My goal is to live as long as I can, that he will always remember me. I'd love to see him graduate from college, etc. He's three years old.

I don't like it, the loneliness truly hurts at times, but it's no reason for me to die yet. Yes, I felt like you. I know what you're saying, I understand. I wouldn't try the life is a gift thing because I'm not sure it's true. Our lives are in our own hands and it's up to the individual. I wouldn't convince you to live if you really don't want to; I just would urge you to start ignoring the pain if you can. Also, and I am being serious............try pot. That's the gift, IMO.
Click to expand...

I have a feeling you may be the only one who doesn't think of me as a loser, whining, useless, worthless, self-pitying POS. I guess it takes one to know one!


Key words... You have a son and he had a son.... These are reasons enough for someone to go on living.

1. It's hard to get pot.
2. I'm on benzos... considering mixing them with alcohol. I read it's a "good" mix...
 
Alligatorob said:
That is a legitimate question, one worthy of consideration. I am not one to just say "every life matters". I think it is a very personal decision, only one you can make.

That said, I think perhaps you have already made the decision, at least for now. The very fact you are posting and interacting here seems to me to be an indication you are coming down on or leaning towards the going on living side.

I hope that is true, and hope that path gets easier for you!
Click to expand...

You are right! The title of my introduction thread is self-explanatory. I thought I should give it another try. I'm not sure it will be any more successful than the previous ones but... hell... why not?
 
Aneeda72 said:
I would like to try pot for a great many reasons 😂 keep forgetting to ask doctor for a card 🤦🏻‍♀️.

I so agree. During the worst of times my favorite son would always come to mind and I’d realize how much he needed me. And now, my youngest great granddaughter, who is 3 as well, such a joy.
Click to expand...

There's your reasons!
(You really have a "favorite" son???)
 
CAKCy said:
I opened my eyes and said "good morning"...
Not even echo was kind enough to respond...
Where are you?
Click to expand...
CAKCy said:
I have a feeling you may be the only one who doesn't think of me as a loser, whining, useless, worthless, self-pitying POS. I guess it takes one to know one!


Key words... You have a son and he had a son.... These are reasons enough for someone to go on living.

1. It's hard to get pot.
2. I'm on benzos... considering mixing them with alcohol. I read it's a "good" mix...
Click to expand...
Hello, CA. I don’t consider you any of those things. You are honest about your pain, that is courageous, if others wish to put a negative spin on that, that is about them, not you. All too often, people want a quick fix, an answer to other people’s pain, while often unable to cure their own. Wouldn’t it be lovely if healing was merely ticking off things on a

list? Healing, like life, is painful, messy, full of angst. There is no magic answer, we are all individuals. Labelling is also not helpful to the person suffering depression. Depression is not character based, but an illness. Your willingness to

be open and vulnerable on this site, speaks to your strength and honesty. You have earned my respect. In my experience, effectively dealing with despair has had more to do with learning a new way to “be,” rather than completing a list of actions. Western society is very geared toward

action, not always wisely. This empath has found connection, even online connection, to be one of the most crucial elements in my healing journey. It can make the pain bearable, once one realises they are not alone in the pit. That people care. Sometimes that knowledge is sufficient, a touch stone to keep one grounded, until we can believe hope

possible. Someone once told me that they would be honoured to hold my hope for me until I was ready and able to do so myself. 💕💕💕
 
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Shalimar said:
Hello, CA. I don’t consider you any of those things. You are honest about your pain, that is courageous, if others wish to put a negative spin on that, that is about them, not you. All too often, people want a quick fix, an answer to other people’s pain, while often unable to cure their own. Wouldn’t it be lovely if healing was merely ticking off things on a

list? Healing, like life, is painful, messy, full of angst. There is no magic answer, we are all individuals. Labelling is also not helpful to the person suffering depression. Depression is not character based, but an illness. Your willingness to

be open and vulnerable on this site, speaks to your strength and honesty. You have earned my respect. In my experience, effectively dealing with despair has had more to do with learning a new way to “be,” rather than completing a list of actions. Western society is very geared toward

action, not always wisely.
Click to expand...

Good morning my Lady!

My mistake... I should've left you, and a couple of others, out of my generalization.

Your words are wise. I always told my wife (from FL, USA) that you people have a list for everything and think that if you follow the items on the list correctly things will be OK. It doesn't work that way. Especially with spirits unwilling to be herded, to be categorized, to belong to a stereotype.

This empath has found connection, even online connection, to be one of the most crucial elements in my healing journey. It can make the pain bearable, once one realises they are not alone in the pit. That people care. Sometimes that knowledge is sufficient, a touch stone to keep one grounded, until we can believe hope
possible.
Click to expand...

🫂

Someone once told me that they would be honoured to hold my hope for me until I was ready and able to do so myself. 💕💕💕
Click to expand...

That someone loves/loved you beyond words...

P.S.: Do you have a twin sister? (I know you are in a relationship and yes this is unashamed flirting. I have no other way to express my admiration to how rare a person you are. I apologize to you and to your fortunate significant other and I promise it won't happen again.)
 
CAKCy said:
Good morning my Lady!

My mistake... I should've left you, and a couple of others, out of my generalization.

Your words are wise. I always told my wife (from FL, USA) that you people have a list for everything and think that if you follow the items on the list correctly things will be OK. It doesn't work that way. Especially with spirits unwilling to be herded, to be categorized, to belong to a stereotype.



🫂



That someone loves/loved you beyond words...

P.S.: Do you have a twin sister? (I know you are in a relationship and yes this is unashamed flirting. I have no other way to express my admiration to how rare a person you are. I apologize to you and to your fortunate significant other and I promise it won't happen again.)
Click to expand...
Good morning to you also. No apology warranted. Your compliment is graciously received. Regrettably, I am an only child. 🧜‍♀️🤗
 
CAKCy said:
It's too dark, my love. There's no moon and the clouds are hiding the stars. Land is hiding and the seawater is making my eyes sore.

Yet... I can hear your voice calling my name... Is it my mind torturing me to the very end? Is it one more wishful thought before I sink for the last time? Is insanity part of my being, now?

Is there a reason for me to keep struggling against the waves?

God... I'm so tired....
Click to expand...

Don't be tempted by Sirens*

* https://www.worldhistory.org/Siren/
 
CAKCy said:
1. I have a feeling you may be the only one who doesn't think of me as a loser, whining, useless, worthless, self-pitying POS.

2. I'm on benzos... considering mixing them with alcohol. I read it's a "good" mix...
Click to expand...
1. :unsure: Where'd you get that idea? ;) Just kidding. We're all that. It's just a matter of degree.

2. I wouldn't recommend the mixture. Don't play around. If you mean to do "It", you don't play roulette. It's not a game to play. Chances are you'll wake up with a tube in your throat and stomach and brain damage ALIVE. Imagine how much worse life would be. If you think it can't get worse, you're wrong.
 
Pepper said:
1. :unsure: Where'd you get that idea? ;) Just kidding. We're all that. It's just a matter of degree.

2. I wouldn't recommend the mixture. Don't play around. If you mean to do "It", you don't play roulette. It's not a game to play. Chances are you'll wake up with a tube in your throat and stomach and brain damage ALIVE. Imagine how much worse life would be. If you think it can't get worse, you're wrong.
Click to expand...
1. No, really... It feels like it's a crime for someone to be depressed or feel lonely. And if one doesn't follow the court order for community service one will do time! I was asked questions which I answered as truthfully and honestly as I could and then I was accused of being selfish, of thinking that I'm the only one going through this and various others.

2. No... I didn't mean "It". Reading on the Internet (which is always right) there is a consensus that some alcohol while on benzos works as an upper. I'm not going to try it yet since I'm still collecting information. I'll keep you posted :)
 

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