Solitude preferred

I'm a bonafide introvert but can switch to extrovert if needed. I prefer solitude also. Even when I was married, my husband and I were very comfortable doing our own quiet activities and sharing the space peacefully. It was a good relationship. With him gone, it's been very difficult to repeat that feeling with others. So I have become comfortable living alone.
 

My son is always worrying about me being alone. I said that I like my solitude. I belong to a Seniors Group that meet once a month for Lunch. Lovely people but they are always talking about their next trip. It's good that their partners are still alive but when you are one out, I wouldn't want to go on a trip and share accommodation with somebody I don't know. I still have a couple of school friends I meet up with and also my sister.
 
Rose65 said:
I agree, renewing yourself is essential. I may be acting brutally but I have got rid of people who were draining me of vital, now surely limited time and energy. I am a huge reader. I want time to explore many subjects that interest me.

All my life I felt obliged to do things for others, often feeling drowned in all that. Now I want it to be about me, to take stock, look at what I need. What is my eternity to be? I am religious, spiritual, I want time to think. I cannot stand the inane shallow babblings of so many people who I no longer feel have anything in common with me.

If we are not careful, we will waste time and find one day it is too late. As we get old, we should think about death, no longer can the subject be avoided. It doesn't mean being negative, in fact it can be about doing what YOU need at least.
Click to expand...
So nice to have found this group. I thought I was relatively alone in liking to, well, be alone. But I'm extreme. I've pushed everyone out of my life (except for a few who broke my heart by pushing *me* out, like my once BFF who I knew - or thought I knew - for 40 years). I think the fact that it appears she truly was a phony is part of what pushed me even further away from people, as well as a few rotten exes. And while I'm better than most at being alone I'm scared of what the future holds with *no one* in it. My father passed a few months ago and I worry about my mom's mental health. My brother is now remarried and has talked about moving out of state and my one nephew is now 1 1/2 hours away and talking about moving several thousand miles away in the next few years so I'd be *really* alone. I'm honestly lost so I'd welcome thoughts on what to do. My property is really large and I do all the work myself and sadly I have to start thinking about moving. I've gotten injuries I'm not recovering from like I used to in my younger years but I hate the thought of a condo or townhouse - and the thought of the move (which there'll be no help with).

Thanks for any insights.
 

For most, it is a balance one chooses. Homo sapiens brains with language and thinking minds are gregarious by evolved nature. Many today outside of work for one's livelihood and necessary tasks, are constantly interacting with others or an electronic device, often with constant music with little quiet time for clear thinking as though they never discovered value of quiet inner reflections and thoughts lest they be bored. Then there are those that seek to hide themselves from others, degenerating what little communication skills they might have had or attain to the point others also don't want them around. Thus a spiraling victim of their own choices. Due to neural plasticity, we are what we do and experience, especially the more whatever is repeated. Learning to enjoy the company of others with their acceptance is a learned and practiced skill.

The above noted, it is also true seniors that were at least reasonably gregarious when younger, may prefer their world of inner thoughts and activities versus limited choices of social interaction many ignored, unappreciated seniors face.
 
It makes sense to me. I love quiet times in the morning with my coffee and a good book. Don't really like shopping, loud music, those crazy duds on motorcycles, cable TV, noisy cars. However, I do love looking at trees swagging in the wind and birds singing. Give me peace and quiet anytime. You can keep your noise!
 
I still work full time and a part time job so I when I have time at home I love it. I am an introvert and absolutely love peace and quiet, this comes after a life filled with taking care of others and some pretty major stress so now I love being alone. I do what I want, when I want and have for once started caring about my own peace and happiness. I avoid anything that disrupts that.
 
palides2021 said:
I'm a bonafide introvert but can switch to extrovert if needed. I prefer solitude also. Even when I was married, my husband and I were very comfortable doing our own quiet activities and sharing the space peacefully. It was a good relationship. With him gone, it's been very difficult to repeat that feeling with others. So I have become comfortable living alone.
Click to expand...
When my father was young and well he was the one that liked living a quiet life with some friends or acquaintances.
The people from my parents past and my past are gone.
 
My neighborhood is so noisy. Ambulances, fire trucks, anything with a siren disturbs me a minimum of five times a day; I've done the math. Not talking about a lone siren, oh no, they come in groups. I think there is a NYC thing that ambulances, police & fire must all attend a scene, so they travel together. The noise is unbelievable, esp. since NYC drivers do not give right of way to these emergency vehicles and everything gets to a standstill, unmoving, blaring noise. I sometimes make the noise even worse by yelling "Stop!" which of course is unhelpful and gives me stress.
 
Pepper said:
My neighborhood is so noisy. Ambulances, fire trucks, anything with a siren disturbs me a minimum of five times a day; I've done the math. Not talking about a lone siren, oh no, they come in groups. I think there is a NYC thing that ambulances, police & fire must all attend a scene, so they travel together. The noise is unbelievable, esp. since NYC drivers do not give right of way to these emergency vehicles and everything gets to a standstill, unmoving, blaring noise. I sometimes make the noise even worse by yelling "Stop!" which of course is unhelpful and gives me stress.
Click to expand...
Unfortunately that is the reality of living in a city. I have sirens all day long too, but not nearly what you have. It took me a bit to get used to it. Now that sound is just life.
 
Pepper said:
My neighborhood is so noisy. Ambulances, fire trucks, anything with a siren disturbs me a minimum of five times a day;
Click to expand...
Heck that's nothing, try living in the country! At night there's owls and coyotes and raccoons making all kinds of racket, then right before day break the birds start singing. Have you ever heard twenty five spices of birds all singing their own songs at the same time? And toss in a couple of neighbors roosters crowing just for some background melody?

I deal with that kind of noise daily, and wouldn't want it any other way.🙂
 
C50 said:
Heck that's nothing, try living in the country! At night there's owls and coyotes and raccoons making all kinds of racket, then right before day break the birds start singing. Have you ever heard twenty five spices of birds all singing their own songs at the same time? And toss in a couple of neighbors roosters crowing just for some background melody?

I deal with that kind of noise daily, and wouldn't want it any other way.🙂
Click to expand...
Don't you get lonely for people contact?
 
C50 said:
Gosh no, I talk to someone almost every day. I'm not miles and miles away from civilization but my house is rural and isolated and I love it.
Click to expand...
That's good. Unfortunately, Huzz and I are enough miles away from even a grocery store that it's lonely to me (not him, though; so here we stay). In fact, the older I get, the more I feel like this gal:

"Elderly people don't just want to look at photos of the past, or of a nice bloody view. [They] want to see bright lights, and hear music, and see young people having fun."
~~from The Library of Lost and Found by Phaedra Patrick
 
Pepper said:
My neighborhood is so noisy. Ambulances, fire trucks, anything with a siren disturbs me a minimum of five times a day; I've done the math. Not talking about a lone siren, oh no, they come in groups. I think there is a NYC thing that ambulances, police & fire must all attend a scene, so they travel together. The noise is unbelievable, esp. since NYC drivers do not give right of way to these emergency vehicles and everything gets to a standstill, unmoving, blaring noise. I sometimes make the noise even worse by yelling "Stop!" which of course is unhelpful and gives me stress.
Click to expand...

Maybe think about it this way ..... every time you here that , they are likely going somewhere to help someone. So be glad they are not coming for you.
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top