Some parents trying to rationalize drug use legal or illegal.

There is a huge difference between two parents smoking a joint once the kids have gone to bed and doing heroin.

A little marijuana is not going to do any harm. But of course, parents need to be responsible.

My parents both smoked cigarettes in front of me, in the car, from when I was a young child. The good thing about them doing this is it created a feeling of abject disgust towards cigarettes and smoking in general.

Unlike many other people my age, I never got into smoking as a teen.

My parents seldom drank. Never really had booze in the house. But I got into that big time. Stopped successfully and now living clean of the booze, but that was all on me.
 
but anyway none of us is advocating driving while under influence of cannabis - any more than driving under influence of alcohol - which of course is legal in all our countries (I am assuming nobody is posting from Saudi Arabia)

I have no issues with parents doing these things sensibly and responsibly - and of course part of responsibly is not driving under the influence.
 
Twostep said:
Until it was legalized for re recreational use in OK any possession was a felony.
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well yes - like alcohol in US until after prohibition was illegal.

But talking about now, not in the past - and I deliberately qualified my post with caution, fine, nothing - dependant on where we live, as we all know the law on this is different in different places.
 
Not pertinent to the main OP parent discussion herein that I would tend to be conservative about. Per above comments addressing illegal recreational drug use as a negative because it breaks civil laws, one needs to understand the very different cultural context that dominated in that era where this person lived. The illegal reality had little influence within youth culture because it was so widely considered "irrational to the point of absurdity".

I was a young adult in the San Francisco Bay Area during the 1970s, a world wide Mecca for those embracing Counterculture youth culture, anti Viet Nam War politics, recreational drug use, FM Radio AOR, and especially live Rock Music. The world there was immensely more drug tolerant socially than much of the rest of the world and also at earlier dates as well as to a modest extent about other major West Coast urban centers.

There was little negative social pressure among the vast majority of socially active young adults to be drug use free, nor away from employment during leisure hours across all manner of occupations. People consumed discretely at many music venues and authorities looked the other way as long as it didn't rock their boat. The federal government had their hands so full with war issues that they didn't have time to deal with a few mostly harmless, pleasure seeking drug consumers in a region where it was so tolerated. Youth music culture through FM Radio and street publications openly embraced breaking those laws.

For the sake of educating SF members without experience, a side issue, (And this research was written way back in the 1970s). Please, do not comment on the below and rather stick to the OP's parent discussion ...

On Being Stoned - Chapter 1

...Our culture today is one of the most drug-oriented cultures in history; we go by the millions to our doctor (or our dealer) for pills to pep us up, calm us down, wake us up, put us to sleep, relax our tensions, make us forget, or enlighten us. As a whole our cultural attitudes toward drugs are irrational to the point of absurdity. We mightily praise some drugs whose detrimental effects are enormous and well known, such as alcohol, and condemn other drugs about which we know very little. Scientific knowledge about drugs has generally been of little consequence in affecting social attitudes and usage...

The below link on effects is the most accurate one one will never find because it has been strongly suppressed for decades by legal advocates and business interests. Each of the numbered sections, ie 9. Space and Time opens up separate web pages so there truly is a lot of content herein.

The percentages in text refer to interviewed user's responses as agreeing:
Never, Rarely, Sometimes, Very Often, Usually,

and users self gauged intoxication level data in the order:
Just, Fairly, Strongly, Very Strongly, Maximum.
 
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My parents did not drink or smoke around us. They would go and have dinner at their friends' houses and have a smoke or drink there. Our grandparents babysat us then. Once our parents came home, our grandparents still stayed the night with us.

I was not able to have children. And I cannot believe those of you who have been fortunate to do so would drink alcohol, smoke, or do pot around your children or anything that could prove unhealthy or dangerous to your children. And sorry, being in another room in the house does not count as safe for your children. And if you are stressed from work or whatever, take up a hobby to relax or read a good book, etc. Talk about being selfish.

Before you have kids and after the kids have grown up, do whatever the hell you want, but be responsible to your children when they are in your care.
 
LoveTulips said:
My parents did not drink or smoke around us. They would go and have dinner at their friends' houses and have a smoke or drink there. Our grandparents babysat us then. Once our parents came home, our grandparents still stayed the night with us.

I was not able to have children. And I cannot believe those of you who have been fortunate to do so would drink alcohol, smoke, or do pot around your children or anything that could prove unhealthy or dangerous to your children. And sorry, being in another room in the house does not count as safe for your children. And if you are stressed from work or whatever, take up a hobby to relax or read a good book, etc. Talk about being selfish.

Before you have kids and after the kids have grown up, do whatever the hell you want, but be responsible to your children when they are in your care.
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clap-applause.gif
 
After the fourth child my tendency to think kiddos were super "special" and a "gift" from God changed to "there are more were that one came from".

But I do understand the perspective of people who cannot get pregnant or bear children, or those who have only one or two kids.
 
I always went outside to smoke. When my youngest was 3 he was playing on a big rug that was like a map in the living room, driving his Tonka trucks around on the roads. I put that rug where it was intentionally, because I used to go outside via the big sliding glass door in the dining room so I could keep and eye on him. It never occurred to me that he was keeping an eye on me.

One day he was playing and I was cooking some spaghetti sauce, and stepped outside for a smoke. He comes over and slid the door open and said to me. "Are you having another cigarette, Daddy?"

Wow... 3 years old and he was already a marksman with the Guilt Gun... :oops:
 
Some of you are on a high horse and are totally ignorant of what you think you know. You may not, and some here definitely don't. Just blab away anyway, that's the American way, have your say.
 
LoveTulips said:
I was not able to have children. And I cannot believe those of you who have been fortunate to do so would drink alcohol, smoke, or do pot around your children or anything that could prove unhealthy or dangerous to your children. And sorry, being in another room in the house does not count as safe for your children. And if you are stressed from work or whatever, take up a hobby to relax or read a good book, etc. Talk about being selfish.
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I don't ever smoke pot or cigarettes - and I agree people shouldn't smoke near children because of passive smoking issues.
However smoking in another room or outside in the garden or similar while your children are home is not a risk to them.
So, yes, that does count as safe for your children.

And you can label me and my parents selfish if you like - yes we would have a glass of wine with dinner or a couple of beers watching footy around our children etc - children are perfectly safe with parents doing that. No need to hide away in another room.
I certainly dont think I had selfish parents, far from it.

Talk about a high horse.
 
Pepper said:
...are totally ignorant of what you think you know. You may not, and some here definitely don't....
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Agreed. Was why I posted the above link if anyone wishes to self educate. Have been with Robert in my own choices since the earliest users era.
Kashmir

Oh let the sun beat down upon my face
With stars to fill my dream
I am a traveler of both time and space
To be where I have been
...
And all will be revealed
 
I was 21 years old, riding home from a party while my husband drove, looking out the window and thinking how cool it was that we were driving in the air between the street lights. That was lovely, until it dawned on me that, as soon as we got home, the babysitter would go home and we would be left alone with my one year old baby. I was suddenly terrified, praying he didn't wake up until morning because I wasn't even sure I could hold him properly. That was the only time since he'd been born and my very last time ever, over 50 years ago. I never drank alcohol then so that didn't come up.


I agree with C50, when you're in charge of a young child you should never be mentally impaired by weed or alcohol. Would you want your child's teacher or baby sitter to be drunk or stoned? It's not "on a high horse" to expect drivers and care givers to be sober.
 
Della said:
I agree with C50, when you're in charge of a young child you should never be mentally impaired by weed or alcohol. Would you want your child's teacher or baby sitter to be drunk or stoned? It's not "on a high horse" to expect drivers and care givers to be sober.
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I say this with respect because I love you Della, but you just don't know what the F you are talking about.

Don't want to dwell on why, but the histrionics here on this subject shows how what lengths folks will go to on something I'm sure you know nothing about.

Yes, of course there are big losers who are parents; people who are in over their heads for many reasons.

People I've known since I'm 20 are not among them. Neither am I, my husband........but I refuse to defend myself or others in my company of doing life.

No child in my care ever suffered but thrived. I might just shut up now? Going round & round with folks of no experience save for anecdotes and studies. Study me. I'm an open book.

eta
If something impacts people in a negative way, hurts relationships, career, whatever, they shouldn't do it and if they don't have the maturity to know this, I'm telling them now. Now, I think I should get off my own high horse, wonder what he/she high on btw.
 
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David777 said:
For the sake of educating SF members without experience, a side issue, (And this research was written way back in the 1970s). Please, do not comment on the below and rather stick to the OP's parent discussion ...

On Being Stoned - Chapter 1

...Our culture today is one of the most drug-oriented cultures in history; we go by the millions to our doctor (or our dealer) for pills to pep us up, calm us down, wake us up, put us to sleep, relax our tensions, make us forget, or enlighten us. As a whole our cultural attitudes toward drugs are irrational to the point of absurdity. We mightily praise some drugs whose detrimental effects are enormous and well known, such as alcohol, and condemn other drugs about which we know very little. Scientific knowledge about drugs has generally been of little consequence in affecting social attitudes and usage...
Click to expand...
That's rich, you go off topic to praise mind altering drugs and post links about it while instructing the opposition to stick to the OP.

My older brother moved to San Francisco in 1968 and stayed there until a few years ago. Back then I still looked up to him admired him and believed everything he said, some of it was the pro-marijuana, pro-LSD propaganda of the 1960's you still believe in. I never told him how much his false information negatively impacted my life.

Don't tell us we need educating. We've heard your "marijuana is good because it's better than alcohol," arguments a hundred times. So what? It's not like we have to choose between the two? Marijuana is better than heroin, too, that doesn't make it good for us. The people who need educated today are the ones like you who still believe those drugs are great things. I've seen first hand what they can do to young brains and it's not good. The book Lilac linked is much truer and far more up-to-date than your links.

I'm still waiting for all the great novels, astounding music, scientific discoveries and brilliant art we were promised we were all going to benefit from after the young population had, had their minds expanded. Just as alcohol makes us think we're funny, LSD and marijuana make us think we're smart.
 
Lilac said:
This was on the local news the other day about a fatal 2023 accident in which the driver who caused the accident was just sentenced.

His blood test showed he had cannabinoids in his system, no alcohol.

Man seen on video shouting from top of wreckage sentenced for crash 2023 that killed trustee
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The presence of cannabinoids in the system which could have been ingested legally only indicate past usage, not whether one is currently under the influence. In this case he was not charged w DUI one might presume that, in fact, he wasn't under the influence at the time of the accident.

He might have also had caffeine or sugar or a million other things in his system, but no one would conclude those things had anything to do w the crash so why presume the cannabinoids did other than fitting one's narrative.
 
I might have missed this...has there been any problems with this kind of parenting? Bodily or financial? What is the problem that this kind of parenting caused?
 
Della said:
That's rich, you go off topic to praise mind altering drugs and post links about it while instructing the opposition to stick to the OP.

My older brother moved to San Francisco in 1968 and stayed there until a few years ago. Back then I still looked up to him admired him and believed everything he said, some of it was the pro-marijuana, pro-LSD propaganda of the 1960's you still believe in. I never told him how much his false information negatively impacted my life.

Don't tell us we need educating. We've heard your "marijuana is good because it's better than alcohol," arguments a hundred times. So what? It's not like we have to choose between the two? Marijuana is better than heroin, too, that doesn't make it good for us. The people who need educated today are the ones like you who still believe those drugs are great things. I've seen first hand what they can do to young brains and it's not good. The book Lilac linked is much truer and far more up-to-date than your links.

I'm still waiting for all the great novels, astounding music, scientific discoveries and brilliant art we were promised we were all going to benefit from after the young population had, had their minds expanded. Just as alcohol makes us think we're funny, LSD and marijuana make us think we're smart.
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It might be a long wait. Some of them went to nursing homes when they became unable to care for their own basic needs.
 

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