The Bible

F

Falcon

DV8
Location
So. California
After three weeks in the Garden of Eden, God came to visit Eve. 'So, how is everything going?' inquired God.

'It is all so beautiful, God,' she replied. 'The sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.

It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain.'

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc. She felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more 'symmetrically balanced'.

'That's a fair point,' replied God, 'But it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away.'

And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into the bushes

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden.

' Well, Eve, how is my favourite creation?'

'Just fantastic,' she replied, 'But for one oversight. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and the cow has her bull. All the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.'

God thought for a moment and said, 'You know, Eve, you are right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you. Let's see....where did I put that useless Tit?'

Now doesn't THAT makes more sense than all that crap about the rib?
 

Wicked?
More like BLASPHEMOUS.
Whether you agree/disagree, like/dislike, think the bible is fictitious or not, it is still considered the "Holy Bible"!
 

Susie, guess what? Not everyone considers your bible "holy". I certainly don't.

Thanks for the chuckle, Falcon. ;)
 
I am a Christian and I recognise God alone as Holy.
I know a lot of things associated with religion get tagged as Holy - Holy Bible, Holy Communion, Holy Family, Holy City, Holy Mountain etc but this is actually unscriptural - see Rev 15:4

A sense of humour is OK.
I'm sure the God I worship appreciates humour just as much as music, art and other forms of human creativity (unless it is cruel, hurtful humour)
 
Dame Warrigal said:
I am a Christian and I recognise God alone as Holy.
I know a lot of things associated with religion get tagged as Holy - Holy Bible, Holy Communion, Holy Family, Holy City, Holy Mountain etc but this is actually unscriptural - see Rev 15:4

A sense of humour is OK.
I'm sure the God I worship appreciates humour just as much as music, art and other forms of human creativity (unless it is cruel, hurtful humour)
Click to expand...

How 'bout holy smoke?
 
"It's just a fairy tale" is a fairly bald statement (IMO of course) that doesn't indicate that it is just an opinion.
It sounds like an authoritative statement, which IMNSHO it is not.

You do come across as very black and white sometimes. No offence intended, just my impression :grin:
 
Dame Warrigal said:
"It's just a fairy tale" is a fairly bald statement (IMO of course) that doesn't indicate that it is just an opinion.
It sounds like an authoritative statement, which IMNSHO it is not.

You do come across as very black and white sometimes. No offence intended, just my impression :grin:
Click to expand...

No offense taken. I've lived too long to let others opinions of me sting and frankly as long as I am honest with myself, especially when it comes to religion, I am at peace.
 
Susie said:
Wicked?
More like BLASPHEMOUS.
Whether you agree/disagree, like/dislike, think the bible is fictitious or not, it is still considered the "Holy Bible"!
Click to expand...

Anyone who doubts God has a sense of humour should consider all the grunting and heaving necessary to procreate the human species, compared with the delicate and gentle methods used for flowers!

However, it's a good job you're in California otherwise I would have no hesitation in reporting such a sexist and discriminatory post to the Equalities Commissioner!
 
However, it's a good job you're in California otherwise I would have no hesitation in reporting such a sexist and discriminatory post to the Equalities Commissioner!
Click to expand...

What on earth are you getting at? Sexist? Do you even know what that means?
Susie's post was in response to one of mine and I certainly don't feel discriminated against by her post.
 
Laurie said:
Anyone who doubts God has a sense of humour should consider all the grunting and heaving necessary to procreate the human species, compared with the delicate and gentle methods used for flowers!

However, it's a good job you're in California otherwise I would have no hesitation in reporting such a sexist and discriminatory post to the Equalities Commissioner!
Click to expand...

Laurie, who are you calling sexist and discriminatory? If it's Falcon, you're talking about one of our most well respected members. Dame Warrigal, another of our most well respected members, is in Australia. If it's me - LOL! Is this a joke, Laurie? I'll assume so. :)
 
It was a J O K E..... albeit one that I would refer to as a "groaner" AND also.... remember the 1st amendment... that pesky little thing about "freedom of speech" can sure get in the way when we don't like what someone is saying... can't it.
 
QuickSilver said:
It was a J O K E..... albeit one that I would refer to as a "groaner" AND also.... remember the 1st amendment... that pesky little thing about "freedom of speech" can sure get in the way when we don't like what someone is saying... can't it.
Click to expand...

Sorry . . . can't respond . . . I'm groaning
 
Dame Warrigal said:
What on earth are you getting at? Sexist? Do you even know what that means?
Susie's post was in response to one of mine and I certainly don't feel discriminated against by her post.
Click to expand...

The original post was about men being made from a redundant part of a woman, ergo, that we, males, are all useless tits.

It was just a bit of fun and I am sorry it seems to have offended you.
 
Isn't all the Bible and religion bashing betting a bit old, people? I'm not religious but after a while it gets B-O-R-I-N-G. :D
 

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