The Cheeky Friendly Banter Thread!

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Jane and Arlene are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Arlene: What in the hell is that?
Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Arlene: Where did you get it?
Jane: You can get them at any pharmacy.
The next day, Arlene hobbles herself into the local pharmacy and
announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what size, texture, brand of condom she prefers.
'Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel.'
The pharmacist fainted.
 
WARNING! SCAM ALERT! Be on the lookout for these two women. They are hanging out around Wal-Mart parking lots. When you are putting your groceries away they ask you for a ride to McDonald's.They are very convincing and very hot! Once in your car this one takes her clothes off and starts climbing all over you, while she keeps you busy, the other one takes your wallet. I've had mine taken on the 12th, 14th, 15th and twice yesterday and probably two more times tomorrow. Wal-Mart has wallets for $2.99,but I found some at the Dollar Store for .99¢ so I bought all they had. These two harlets not only take your wallet, but you never even make it to McDonald's so I've already lost 10lbs. Keep a lookout for them. ( I find lunch time and around 5:30 are the best times)


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