The General Humor Thread

JonSR77 said:
Can You Arrest Your Own Mother?
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Here in Canada the RCMP has a policy that when a Constable graduates from training Depot after their 6 months of training, they will not be posted to their home Province. That is to avoid having to investigate or arrest family members or friends. For those that do not know, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police are our national Federal Police Service, with jurisdiction in all parts of our country. They were first stood up in 1873 to patrol the US /Canada border in the western plains. Their official motto is Maintain The Right . JimB.
 

jimintoronto said:
Here in Canada the RCMP has a policy that when a Constable graduates from training Depot after their 6 months of training, they will not be posted to their home Province. That is to avoid having to investigate or arrest family members or friends. For those that do not know, the Royal Canadian Mounted Police are our national Federal Police Service, with jurisdiction in all parts of our country. They were first stood up in 1873 to patrol the US /Canada border in the western plains. Their official motto is Maintain The Right . JimB.
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That's quite different from how we do things around here. I never had to investigate my own family though. :D
 
Contest to write the worst first line of a novel...

The Bulwer-Lytton Contest

https://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

They published one (or two?) books of the winners. One was titled "Twas A Dark And Stormy Night." it was truly hysterical.


It is from the 80's, I think. So, since it is old, I bet you could pick up a used copy on Amazon for next to nothing.

+++

One of the old winning entries:

"As Andre crept along the East Wall, only one thought was going through his mind...'Andre creep, Andre creep, Andre creep' "
 
Trila said:
I have a friend who lives in Scotland......I just had to send this to her!!!!! šŸ˜šŸ˜šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜…šŸ˜…šŸ˜šŸ˜šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚
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you sent that to a Scot? My ex was a Scot. That was 25 years ago. I still live in fear of her!!!!

hey, why do bagpipers walk while they play?

Answer: ---- they are trying to get away from the noise....
 
Stand-Up Comedy from Gary Valentine (Kevin James's brother)

I wish I could find the entire set that this clip is from. Was a great set. Yes, he is Kevin James's brother. Gary Valentine was just the stage name that he chose...

Gary Valentine - on the South's Sweet Tea


 
charry said:
View attachment 215791
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I was at a movie theater, oh, maybe 5 or 7 years ago. A man collapsed and fell to the floor. He was a very large man, maybe 6' 4" and close to 300 lbs. And he just could not get back up. Seeing the situation, I went over to the theater manager, got a chair and brought it over for him to lean on, for leverage as he got up. And that worked.

With my back injuries and other injuries, if I have to go down to the floor, I also bring a chair near me for that purpose.

Yeah, I know this is a joke thread, but I thought I would share, since seeing something sad happen in front of me that time.
 
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