The General Humor Thread

RadishRose said:
Zach T. Wilcox, owner of the world's longest beard, in 1922:

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Quite the possession, and yes he was "the owner". I suspect that (for practical purposes) he may have carefully rolled it up in the evening before dinner, placed it in a box, and used a bit of spirit-gum to stick it back on after breakfast.
 
Our golfer's drive lands on an anthill. Rather than move the ball, he decided to hit it where it lies. He gigs it a mighty swing. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants exploded from the spot. Everything but the golf ball. It sits in the same spot. So he lined up and tried another shot. Clouds of dirt and sand and ants went flying again. The golf ball didn't even wiggle. Two ants survived. One dazed ant said to the other, "Whoa! What are we going to do?" "I don't know about you, but I'm going to hop on the ball."
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A couple, desperate to conceive a child, went to their priest and asked him to pray for them. "I'm going on a sabbatical to Rome," he replied, "and while I'm there, I'll light a candle for you." When the priest returned three years later, he went to the couple's house and found the wife pregnant, busily attending to two sets of twins. Elated, the priest asked her where her husband was so that he could congratulate him.

"He's gone to Rome, to blow that candle out" came the harried reply.
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JBR said:
Quite the possession, and yes he was "the owner". I suspect that (for practical purposes) he may have carefully rolled it up in the evening before dinner, placed it in a box, and used a bit of spirit-gum to stick it back on after breakfast.
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Over 12 years of growth. It should seem there has to be a better way? Right get it off the one that grows it. U no braid it and stuff in the jacket front pockets. Don't smoke em if ya got em either.
 
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What do you call a Dishwasher in the 1940's?
A Wife.
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Whenever you use momentarily instead of soon, or timely instead of fast, or plethora instead of plenty, a little Semanticist hangs their head full of shame.
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Have you ever hung out with Thomas the Train and his big buddy Gustav the Railway Gun?
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Ya know I like to wear low necklines too, but they reveal my prison tattoos.
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You know I was just that close to actually giving a dam!
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