The jokes only thread....

[-Oy-]

 

[-Oy-]

 

[debodun]

How did the bakery manager tell his employees about the bread production schedule?

On a knead to know basis.

 

[Pappy]

 

[Pappy]

 

[Pappy]

 

[Paco Dennis]

 

[debodun]

Q. What was the baseball pitcher's favorite candy?

A. Mounds

 

[debodun]

Did you hear that at one time Carrie Fisher and Johnny Cash were going to form an act together?

They were going to call it "Cash & Carrie".

 

[Trila]

 

[Pappy]

 

[Pappy]

 

[Paco Dennis]

 

[MarkinPhx]

 

[Rindee]

I once was thrown out of a fire station for running in and yelling "theater! theater"!

 

[debodun]

Q. What did Hamlet say when told that alchemists had failed to make gold out of other metals using sorcery?

A. "And the rest is science."

 

[Pappy]

 

[Tazx's_better_half]

A guy asks at a zoo if they've got any jobs.

“Well”, says the owner “we're not doing too well and one of the gorillas died the other day. I'll pay you to dress up in a gorilla suit and take his place”.

So the guy gets dressed in the gorilla suit and is walking around inside the enclosure when a huge great silver back male gorilla approaches him. He's absolutely terrified, scared for his life. He runs as fast as he can and jumps over the enclosure wall.

Only to land in the Lion enclosure.

“Oh my f@cking god” he screams, “help me I'm not a gorilla I'm a human being”, as a big lion moves towards him.

“Shut the f@ck up”, says the lion, “or you'll get us all fired”

 

[debodun]

View attachment 379608

A lot like what I eat.

 

[debodun]

Q. What would you call pie served in the Sahara?

A. Desert dessert.

 

[debodun]

Q. What did the person who had the mumps reply when asked how she was feeling?

A. Swell.

 

[iksentrik]

 

[Mizmo]

 

[RadishRose]

 

[OneEyedDiva]