The jokes only thread....


Well-known member
A Manager of a drug store walks in to find a guy leaning against a wall.
He asks the clerk: "What's with that guy over there by the wall?"
The clerk explained, "Well, he came in this morning to get something for his cough. We're out of cough syrup so I gave him a bottle of laxative & suggested he drink the whole thing."
"You idiot!" yells the Manager. "You can't treat a cough with laxatives!"
"Of course you can," says the clerk. "Look at him; he's afraid to cough!"


Living the Dream
Original Poster
A young guy from North Carolina moves to Florida and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?" The kid says "Yeah. I was a vacuum salesman back in North Carolina."

Well, the boss was unsure, but he liked the kid and figured he'd give him a shot, so he gave him the job.

"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down to the sales floor.

"How many customers bought something from you today?" The kid frowns and looks at the floor and mutters, "One". The boss says "Just one?!!? Our sales people average sales to 20 to 30 customers a day.

That will have to change, and soon, if you'd like to continue your employment here. We have very strict standards for our sales force here in Florida. One sale a day might have been acceptable in North Carolina, but you're not in the mountains anymore, son."
The kid took his beating, but continued to look at his shoes, so the boss felt kinda bad for chewing him out on his first day. He asked (semi-sarcastically), "So, how much was your one sale for?"
The kid looks up at his boss and says "$101,237.65".

The boss, astonished, says $101,237.65?!? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "Well, first, I sold him some new fish hooks. Then I sold him a new fishing rod to go with his new hooks. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a boat and a TRUCK!?"
The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy tampons for his wife, and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing


Well-known member
Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his
father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler.
She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that.
After Little Johnny's first day at his new school his father called
the teacher to see how it went. She said, "I think I broke his gambling habit".
The father asked how and she said, "He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt,
so I pulled down my pants and won his money." "DAMN!" said the father. "What's wrong?",
the teacher asked. Little Johnny's father said, "This morning he bet me $100.00

he would see his teacher's butt before the day was over!"