The jokes only thread....

Mother calls up stairs, "You boys better get down here and eat your breakfast or you'll be late for school! "As they are ambling down, the 5-year-old turns to the 4-year-old, stops and says, "Today we're gonna learn to swear! " The 4-year-old gives a fearful look. The 5-year-old continues, "When we get to the table, I'll say 'hell' and you say 'ass'! " The 4-year-old agrees with reservation. They seat themselves at the table. Mother greets them. "Good morning boys! What would you like for breakfast? "The 5-year-old leans back and cocks his head... "Hell Mom! I'll have Cheerios! "He is promptly escorted to another room while the 4-year-old seated at the table grimaces upon hearing the wailing cries of big brother getting a serious licking. Mother returns with sniffling 5-year-old. She turns to 4-year-old and says compassionately, "Well now, what would you like for breakfast? "The 4-year-old replies, "I don't know ma... But you can bet your ass it ain't Cheerios! "
 
Furryanimal said:
View attachment 58931
I have no idea what a polynomial function is.
Click to expand...

In mathematics, a polynomial is an expression consisting of variables (also called indeterminates) and coefficients, that involves only the operations of addition, subtraction, multiplication, and non-negative integer exponents of variables. An example of a polynomial of a single indeterminate, x, is x[SUP]2[/SUP] − 4x + 7. An example in three variables is x[SUP]3[/SUP] + 2xyz[SUP]2[/SUP] − yz + 1.
Polynomials appear in many areas of mathematics and science. For example, they are used to form polynomial equations, which encode a wide range of problems, from elementary word problems to complicated problems in the sciences; they are used to define polynomial functions, which appear in settings ranging from basic chemistry and physics to economics and social science; they are used in calculus and numerical analysis to approximate other functions. In advanced mathematics, polynomials are used to construct polynomial rings and algebraic varieties, central concepts in algebra and algebraic geometry.

Got it!? :playful:
 
Since it is almost Thanksgiving I thought you might enjoy cooking your Turkey Like I cook Mine.

Step 1: Go buy a turkey
Step 2: Take a drink of whiskey, scotch, or JD
Step 3: Put turkey in the oven
Step 4: Take another 2 drinks of whiskey
Step 5: Set the degree at 375 ovens
Step 6: Take 3 more whiskeys of drink
Step 7: Turn oven the on
Step 8: Take 4 whisks of drinky
Step 9: Turk the bastey
Step 10: Whiskey another bottle of get
Step 11: Stick a turkey in the thermometer
Step 12: Glass yourself a pour of whiskey
Step 13: Bake the whiskey for 4 hours
Step 14: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 15: Take the oven out of the turkey
Step 16: Floor the turkey up off the pick
Step 17: Turk the carvey
Step 18: Get yourself another scottle of botch
Step 19: Tet the sable and pour yourself a glass of turkey
Step 20: Bless the saying, pass and eat out​
 
One night, an 87-year-old woman came home from Bingo to find her husband in bed with another woman. Angry, she became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their apartment, killing him instantly. When brought before the court on charges of murder, she was asked if she had anything to say to defend herself."Well, Your Honor," she replied coolly. "I figured that at 92, if he could make love to another woman, he could fly! "
 
The guys were all at a deer camp. No one wanted to room with Bob, because he snored so badly. They decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.


The first guy slept with Bob and comes to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.


They said, "Man, what happened to you? He said, "Bob snored so loudly, I just sat up and watched him all night."


The next night it was a different guy's turn. In the morning, same thing, hair all standing up, eyes all bloodshot.


They said, "Man, what happened to you? You look awful! He said, 'Man, that Bob shakes the roof with his snoring. I watched him all night."


The third night was Fred's turn. Fred was a tanned, older cowboy, a man's man. The next morning he came to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. "Good morning!" he said. They couldn't believe it. They said, "Man, what happened?"


He said, "Well, we got ready for bed. I went and tucked Bob into bed, patted him on the butt, and kissed him good night.. Bob sat up and watched me all night."


With age comes wisdom.


-----
 
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender. Brunette: "I'll have a B and C. "Bartender:"What is a B and C? ". Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke. "Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T. "Bartender: "What's a G and T? "Redhead: "Gin and tonic. "Blonde: "I'll have a 15. "Bartender: "What's a 15? "Blonde: "7 and 7"
 
Once there were three men, Dave, John, and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died.As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, "You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly."St. Peter looked at Dave and said, "You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat up Dodge."Next St. Peter looked at John and said, "You, were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota stationwagon."St. Peter finally looked at Sam, and said, "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife! For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari."A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam’s Ferrari and there he is, sitting on the hood, head in hands, crying."What’s wrong, Sam?" they asked."You got the Ferrari! You are set forever! Why so down?"Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth and cried, "I just saw my wife go by on a skate board."​
 
A man calls his boss and says, "I feel sick to day and I won't be in".

His boss says, "when I'm feeling under the weather having sex with my wife always makes me feel better, try that".

A couple of hours later the employee calls back and says, "You're right I feel much better now and by the way you have a really nice home".
 
I was out walking with my 4-year-old granddaughter.
She picked up something off the ground and started to put it in her mouth.
I took the item away from her and I asked her not to do that.
"Why?" my granddaughter asked.
"Because it's been on the ground. You don't know where it's been,
it's dirty, and probably has germs," I replied.
At this point, my granddaughter looked at me with total admiration and asked,
"Grandma, how do you know all this stuff?
“You are so smart.”
I was thinking quickly, "All Grandmas know this stuff. It's on the Grandma Test.
You have to know it, or they don't let you be a Grandma."
We walked along in silence for 2 or 3 minutes, but she was evidently
pondering this new information.
"Oh...I get it!" she beamed, "So if you don't pass the test, you have to be the Grandpa."
"Exactly," I replied.
 
A man was speaking to God.
"God, why did you make women so beautiful?" he asked.
God said: "I did that to make you love them".
Then the man asked: "Well, God; why did you make them such good cooks?"
God said: "I did that to make you love them".
The man then asked: "But God, why did you make women so stupid?".
God said: "I did that to make them love you !"
 
The teacher was conducting a class in nutrition and asked the class to name four qualities of mother's milk. Little Johnny pipes up and says, "I know teacher! "Number One: It's fresh. Number Two: It's nutritious. Number Three: I't served at just the right temperature. And Number Four: It comes in a cool container!"
 
A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a very fancy new 10 speed bike. "Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300. " "Easy, Dad," the boy replied. "I earned it hiking. " "Come on," the father said. "Tell me the truth. " "That is the truth," the boy replied. "Every night you were gone, Mr. Reynolds from the grocery store would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike! "
 

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