Things They Don't Teach You In School - But Should

SifuPhil

R.I.P. With Us In Spirit Only
Here are a few awesome facts that never made it to our school textbooks ...



  1. During the 1950's the Canadian government forced the Inuit into settlements. An elderly Eskimo wanted to escape this forced relocation, so his family took away all of his tools. He made a knife out his own feces and frozen spit, killed a dog with it and used its ribs to make a sled, tying the sled to other dogs and making good his escape.
  2. The first stage of the Saturn V rocket was powered by kerosene, produced 215 million horsepower and got 5 inches to the gallon.
  3. Mosquitoes survive being hit by raindrops, even though it is the equivalent of a human being hit by a bus.
  4. There is a large stinging shrub native to Australia called the Gympie Gympie that produces a neurotoxin so painful it has driven people and animals to suicide. The pain has been described as being sprayed with hot acid while simultaneously being electrocuted.
  5. Don't use Calvin Klein's "Obsession" cologne when on safari - cheetahs, tigers, jaguars and other big cats are irresistibly drawn to its odor. It is actually used by scientists to aid them in their big cat population counts



 
We were keeping the Gympie Gympie tree a secret.

We've weaponised it to use in Operation Sovereign Borders and this is the real reason that the leaky fishing boats have stopped.
We'll trade it with you in exchange for all of your military secrets and an Oscar for Cate Blanchett.
 
We were keeping the Gympie Gympie tree a secret.

We've weaponised it to use in Operation Sovereign Borders and this is the real reason that the leaky fishing boats have stopped.
We'll trade it with you in exchange for all of your military secrets and an Oscar for Cate Blanchett.

Seriously - we've got nothing to match that, except maybe the Kardashians.

Here's your secrets and your Oscar for what's-her-name.
 
Geeze no secrets are safe any more! Someone musta been spying on our delightful native flora. Damn. I think Max knows a bit about GG, it's a weed in those regions. Dya think he's blabbed? :confused:;) Could have been Assange, he hails from here, he'd have known. The plot thickens.
 
The medal is in the mail.

The tour operators on one visit to the 'jungle' up there had red tape strung around the GG bushes near the track to keep their tourists out of hospital. I remember thinking why don't you just chop the bloody things out or poison them? Seems they must have, never hear them mentioned any more.
 
The medal is in the mail.

The tour operators on one visit to the 'jungle' up there had red tape strung around the GG bushes near the track to keep their tourists out of hospital. I remember thinking why don't you just chop the bloody things out or poison them? Seems they must have, never hear them mentioned any more.

Or ... they've been transplanted to an underground grow room with attached genetic engineering labs.

Expect to see walking, talking giant Gympie Gympies any day now! :cower:
 
Thanks for that mental image. I already have weeds that I call Triffids. They are in the process of surviving their 3rd application of glyphosate and Grazon poison.
These things are indestructable!
 
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