This may be selfish but you gotta know what you gotta know.

JustDave said:
Here's what Chat GPT says about this, although it may differ depending on how the question is framed:

A failed marriage can affect future marriage prospects, but it doesn’t necessarily destroy them. The impact depends on several factors—emotional, social, and practical. Here's a breakdown:


✅ Ways It Can Negatively Affect Future Marriage:​


  1. Emotional Baggage
    Unresolved hurt, mistrust, or fear from the past marriage can make it harder to open up or commit again.
  2. Cynicism or Fear of Repeating Mistakes
    Some people become more guarded or skeptical of the institution of marriage itself.
  3. Children or Financial Complications
    Ex-spouses, child custody, or ongoing financial responsibilities (like alimony) can complicate new relationships.
  4. Stigma (in some cultures)
    In certain cultures or communities, being divorced may be viewed negatively, especially for women.
  5. Patterns of Behavior
    If someone hasn’t done the inner work to understand what went wrong in the first marriage, they might repeat the same patterns.


✅ Ways It Can Actually Improve Future Prospects:​


  1. Self-Awareness
    A failed marriage can lead to deep personal growth, helping someone understand what they want and need in a partner.
  2. Clarity on Boundaries and Red Flags
    Many people are more selective and emotionally mature the second time around.
  3. Better Communication Skills
    Experience—especially if therapy was involved—often makes someone a better communicator.
  4. Greater Appreciation
    People who’ve lost a marriage may value a healthy relationship more and not take it for granted.
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4 times tho''... 😧
 

friar said:
So my avatar is pretty much me and at my age I don't understand why all my wives left me.
Am I that ugly or are other men just better looking?. I truly don't understand why I find myself alone.
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They left you for your money! ... :cool: ... Deep pockets are the reward! ... :coffee: ...
Sincerely though condolences for your crushing's.

Looking at pictures of Bill and his young girlfriend, he most likely treats her differently than the Patriot's.
You know finding the young one may be your needful thoughts. Don't be so serious ? Making babies is serius!
Maybe the young will want a career first?
 
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chic said:
If I were looking for a man as a senior, looks would no longer be such a factor. I'm not in high school anymore. Just saying what is true. There's kindness and respect and things that are of mutual interest.
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Kindness and respect are the tough ones out there?
Frustration and anger easier to come to.

with all great i-dears, possibly think first before later, "OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I JUST DONE TO MYSELF!"
 
friar said:
You folks are funny but really, what is it about me that makes women level up instead of stay? It has to be looks or average equipement . financially I have always been average and demeanor pretty much go along to get along. I am at a loss to understand it all. this time though with my wife of 25 years leaving me I am done. she is taking the dog too. so ya. I am in the market for a new dog. lol . a woman not so much
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I would guess intro self-inspection will be your key to success. What, there are someone's born every day? Get a good DVD of Psychology.
 
I was scared to ask my wife to marry me because she was from a very influential family and they had $$$$$$$. Our family wasn’t poor, but we certainly weren’t in her family’s circle. We dated off and on for maybe 8 months and I took her out to dinner on one evening and asked her if we could discuss our feelings about each other tonight and she said sure.

I told her how I felt about her and much to my surprise, I mean really, you could have pushed me over with your little finger, she said she had been wondering how I felt about her because she was hoping I loved her enough to maybe ask for her hand in marriage. Now, I wasn’t ready at that moment to propose, so I told her if our relationship keeps going the way it is, it will probably happen.

That talk was in early October. On Christmas Eve, I proposed, but she said I had to get her father’s permission. I was like, Oh, Lord, please help me. Well, I went to daddy and told him how I felt about his daughter, she was the second of three daughters, he said he knew she really liked me and their family also enjoyed me being around. I had to put on the Country Club act, but whatever it takes sometimes we do crazy things.

He finally gave his approval and she accepted my ring.
 
wow wow and triple wow - for a thread that no one seems to like much it has spawned much debate ; ideas ; suggestions and advices?? - very lively indeed - it may not have helped the instigator [alligator] but it has cleared some air in here and brought out the beasts in us all!!
 
friar said:
So my avatar is pretty much me and at my age I don't understand why all my wives left me.
Am I that ugly or are other men just better looking?. I truly don't understand why I find myself alone.
Click to expand...

If looks were the reason people had serious relationships, I'd of never had one. And I don't mean that as a joke.

There likely is a central reason why your wives have left you, but the only way to know what that is is to ask them. Along with asking them, you have to do the really difficult part - you need to listen and not instantly respond.

My story is on this site, I've spoken about it fairly often. One of my key learnings is that, even at my advanced age, I have much to learn about relationships. The hard part is the realization that much is obvious, I'd just completely ignored it and failed to learn the easy lessons at the time.
 
Ah who knows what people want anymore. I was married for 31 years and wasn't particularly happy. I stayed because I promised to. Didn't like the way marriage, according to State law, gave my husband the ultimate say so. So no, legally, it isn't 50-50. Even now that he's dead 13 years, our utilities still give me problems if something needs repaired. It is an antiquated ideal that needs to be tossed.
 
Judycat said:
Ah who knows what people want anymore. I was married for 31 years and wasn't particularly happy. I stayed because I promised to. Didn't like the way marriage, according to State law, gave my husband the ultimate say so. So no, legally, it isn't 50-50. Even now that he's dead 13 years, our utilities still give me problems if something needs repaired. It is an antiquated ideal that needs to be tossed.
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agreed most definitely!
 
smiley said:
wow wow and triple wow - for a thread that no one seems to like much it has spawned much debate ; ideas ; suggestions and advices?? - very lively indeed - it may not have helped the instigator [alligator] but it has cleared some air in here and brought out the beasts in us all!!
Click to expand...
I haven't seen many people not liking the thread. To me the popularity indicates interest, if laced with skepticism regarding the authenticity of the original post.
 
friar said:
You folks are funny but really, what is it about me that makes women level up instead of stay? It has to be looks or average equipement . financially I have always been average and demeanor pretty much go along to get along. I am at a loss to understand it all. this time though with my wife of 25 years leaving me I am done. she is taking the dog too. so ya. I am in the market for a new dog. lol . a woman not so much
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You are not eliciting useful responses because none of us here know you.

I presume you have been divorced more than once.
What did your previous wives tell you about yourself?

Therein you will find your answers.
 
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