Thought of how to get my pictures

Aneeda72

Aneeda72

Well-known Member
Since I got the email from my brother’s wife, I’ve been upset for a variety of reasons. Can’t do anything about mother’s situation but I think I can get my pictures. While she is not dead yet, she does have a will giving us equal shares. Course my brother is certainly acting like she is dead. Clearing out her apartment, throwing all her stuff away, keeping my pictures which he has no right to do.

I would like to tell them both off, brother and SIL. I can’t until she dies. I would like to file a complaint against them with adult protective supervision, in regards to their actions towards mother, but that would probably just be revenge against them and not helpful for her. I really am too nice a person sometimes. Revenge would be nice.

Again, my mother’s will states that we are to inherit her meager estate equally. I told my brother, in writing, he could have everything but those pictures. He wanted her jewelry for his daughter; he a very greedy man; and I didn’t/don’t want any of her stuff anyway. Wouldn’t matter if I did. He’s not an honest person, he would keep it anyway.

Here is what I decided I’ll do.

I am going to send them an email and let them know I want ALL those pictures, unpicked through. His wife said she didn’t have time to ”pick through them” so I couldn’t have them. She has no right to pick through them. They are my pictures. I am sure they think I can do nothing. After all, they have a great deal of money and I don’t. Hmm. I knew being low income, in comparison to them and by “federal standards 😂” would pay off someday.

What a great human interest story!-for their local newspaper. Wealthy couple plants 97 (she’s 97 not 98) year old mother into nursing home, throws all her bits and pieces away so she can never return to her apartment. Doesn’t consult with their mother over what she’d like to keep. And refuses to give her daughter the only thing she wants and that her mother promised she would have.

In addition, their son who lives in the same community is wealthy, very wealthy. Would be quite embarrassing for him if not a carrier ending move.

I think it’s the only way. And if they don’t give me those pictures I will do it. What do you all think of my plan? Too mean? Although I don’t think I’ll actually have to do it. They will cave, I am sure.
 

There was an almost identical story to this reported in the papers last week , Aneeda... where a woman had to take her sister-in-law to court after 30 years of asking for photos which were rightfully hers...

A luxury hotelier has won a barmy 29-year legal battle with her own family over a suitcase full of photos that belonged to her dead mother.


Judith Andersson, 76, and her brother Tim's widow Diane Ward, 77, racked up £70,000 in legal fees fighting over a family archive of papers and pictures previously owned by her mother with "no monetary value."



The treasured archive was said to be a valuable record of the history of her family, which founded Jerusalem's iconic American Colony Hotel.


The high-end hotel became a destination for celebrity visitors to the city and played host to Lawrence of Arabia, Winston Churchill and Bob Dylan, among others.


Following Frieda Ward's death in London in 1993, the photos ended up in the hands of Judith's brother Tim Ward. But after he and their other sibling John both died within a month of each other, she launched a court fight to get them.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/woman-spends-70000-30-year-28332972
 
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I think this kind of thing is quite common. When my grandmother died, my brother (who was closest geographically) said I should tell him what I wanted. I told him I just wanted a particular small table. And he got mad! What was he expecting me to say?

A neighbor told me when her mother died, all she wanted were a couple of dolls from her childhood. Her brother said if she wanted them she'd have to travel (a long distance) to come and get them.

Do what you feel you need to do. Me, I'd just walk away.
 

Ben Franklin once said,"to know the true nature of s person, inherit with them". Unfortunately there is a great amount of truth to that. When my mother moved to a nursing home, my dear sis told me to take anything I wanted from her apartment.
Being in a downsizing mode, I took nothing but a few of my father's tools.
 
hollydolly said:
There was an almost identical story to this reported in the papers last week , Aneeda... where a woman had to take her sister-in-law to court after 30 years of asking for photos which were rightfully hers...

A luxury hotelier has won a barmy 29-year legal battle with her own family over a suitcase full of photos that belonged to her dead mother.


Judith Andersson, 76, and her brother Tim's widow Diane Ward, 77, racked up £70,000 in legal fees fighting over a family archive of papers and pictures previously owned by her mother with "no monetary value."



The treasured archive was said to be a valuable record of the history of her family, which founded Jerusalem's iconic American Colony Hotel.


The high-end hotel became a destination for celebrity visitors to the city and played host to Lawrence of Arabia, Winston Churchill and Bob Dylan, among others.


Following Frieda Ward's death in London in 1993, the photos ended up in the hands of Judith's brother Tim Ward. But after he and their other sibling John both died within a month of each other, she launched a court fight to get them.

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/woman-spends-70000-30-year-28332972
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I don’t have the money to sue, as they know. But they wouldn’t want an article in the paper. I had already decided, for various reasons, to no longer engage with them. I’ve worked on the family genealogy for over 20 years so I want the pictures, will put them on ancestry, and then they can have them. He knows this.

The other pictures I have, I copied all of them for both them and their two children. I also gave their son a huge orginial picture of our father in uniform since I felt that orginial belong in their family, and my children couldn’t care less. They didn’t have to ask for those pictures.

When my brother learned I had a couple other items from our grandmother, including a ring she gave me for my HS graduation, I gave them to him when he asked for them. Although, he had no long term relationship with her. They are just greedy.

He gave the ring to his adult daughter and she lost it. 🙄. I am not attached to stuff, never have been. I want the pictures for the research. I am going to get them.
 
Check and see if you have an elder financial safety center in your area. What you describe is pretty typical. How can you make it easy for them to get the photos to you? Or in their best interest? But truly, if these people are mean spirited, you can't make them do anything for you. If you can get over to mom's house, or travel there, and have your own key, then just go get your photos. This may not be possible for you. Do you know any other family members who would intercede for you? I've seen my in-laws do this in clearing out my MIL and FIL house and refusing to allow others to help. We went by when no one was there as we had a key and took what we wanted, which was not much. We told no one, never mentioned it again. The greed comes out in people. All my in-laws are unhappy with each other at this point and still fighting over money. At some point, our mental health is worth more than items. If these people are mean spirited, they will make it hard on you. Sending any kind of email listing what you want is pointless unless you are going to show up and claim it. They can easily say in court that the photos were ruined or claimed by someone else. One of our relatives stole all the collected sleeping meds from my in-laws house. I saw it in a drawer and should have removed it but I thought I'd do it later. Well, later it was gone. A huge bottle full of left over prescription sleep meds.
 
After my FIL died, MIL sat us all down and asked what we would like. The others requested some material items. I asked for a framed picture of my husband. His brother was also in the picture. Two little boys, 3 and 5 in little white suits and bow ties. She went in there, took it off the wall and brought it straight to me. I had it about 17 years. When my husband passed and then MIL 9 days later, I gifted it to my BIL. I got to enjoy it for so many years, I thought at that point he deserved to have it.
 
Book Worm said:
Check and see if you have an elder financial safety center in your area. What you describe is pretty typical. How can you make it easy for them to get the photos to you? Or in their best interest? But truly, if these people are mean spirited, you can't make them do anything for you. If you can get over to mom's house, or travel there, and have your own key, then just go get your photos. This may not be possible for you. Do you know any other family members who would intercede for you? I've seen my in-laws do this in clearing out my MIL and FIL house and refusing to allow others to help. We went by when no one was there as we had a key and took what we wanted, which was not much. We told no one, never mentioned it again. The greed comes out in people. All my in-laws are unhappy with each other at this point and still fighting over money. At some point, our mental health is worth more than items. If these people are mean spirited, they will make it hard on you. Sending any kind of email listing what you want is pointless unless you are going to show up and claim it. They can easily say in court that the photos were ruined or claimed by someone else. One of our relatives stole all the collected sleeping meds from my in-laws house. I saw it in a drawer and should have removed it but I thought I'd do it later. Well, later it was gone. A huge bottle full of left over prescription sleep meds.
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They have already cleaned the apartment out without consulting mother who is not dead yet btw.
 
Blessed said:
After my FIL died, MIL sat us all down and asked what we would like. The others requested some material items. I asked for a framed picture of my husband. His brother was also in the picture. Two little boys, 3 and 5 in little white suits and bow ties. She went in there, took it off the wall and brought it straight to me. I had it about 17 years. When my husband passed and then MIL 9 days later, I gifted it to my BIL. I got to enjoy it for so many years, I thought at that point he deserved to have it.
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I did this with a very large picture of my dad in his world war 2 uniform. I had the picture since I was 17. Couple years ago I gave it to my brother’s son. I also gave copies of all the pictures I had saved to my brother, his son, and his daughter. My brother, apparently, never knew I had these pictures.

I also gave my nephew a picture of my father, at the age of six months which I had found and bought off the internet. I have no problem sharing, but my brother has always been greedy
 
People are strange. Even though I lived across the street from my parents after they both passed away I asked all the grandchildren and great grandchildren to go into their house and take whatever they wanted. I treasured all the things my parents had given me when they were alive. Memories of them were more important to me.
 
Aneeda, it’s not fair but I think your threat to expose your brother‘s selfishness through a newspaper won’t work. The paper will not take a chance of a libel suit. He’s a wealthy member of that community. You’re not known.
 
I've been the executor of two family estates involving fairly large assets, and they were the worst experiences of my life. It just really makes you lose your faith in humanity. I just recently finished handling my nephews estate after five years of constant headaches, and feel like a huge weight has been lifted. The greed and pettiness of some family members can just be beyond belief. There are definitely some advantages to being an orphan.
 
Sassycakes said:
People are strange. Even though I lived across the street from my parents after they both passed away I asked all the grandchildren and great grandchildren to go into their house and take whatever they wanted. I treasured all the things my parents had given me when they were alive. Memories of them were more important to me.
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Unfortunately I do not have good memories of my mother and only a few of my father who never met my children or any of his grandchildren as he was too busy making more children.
 
Jules said:
Aneeda, it’s not fair but I think your threat to expose your brother‘s selfishness through a newspaper won’t work. The paper will not take a chance of a libel suit. He’s a wealthy member of that community. You’re not known.
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I agree it’s not fair as it would probably effect his children so I have not done it yet and may not. My mother, as I said, is still alive even though they act as if she is not. And while she was and is a very abusive person I won’t expose her to anything that causes her stress. She is, after all,97.

However, once she dies, it will be different. And it’s not libel if it’s true. Any reporter would be able to investigate and see the truth of it. Those pictures, pictures of me as a child, are mine. Pictures of other relatives are mine, as my mother wishes me to have them, and my brother would not be able to identity who was who anyway.

As I’ve said before when he learned my grandmother had given me a ring, her ring, for my HS graduation he wanted it and asked me for it. I gave it to him. He gave it to his daughter-an adult. She lost it. A ring I had kept for over 50 years, and my grandmother had for as many if not more years.

It is just greed on his part.
 
CarolfromTX said:
Sounds like what my brother did. Cleaned out my mothers apartment, kept what he wanted, irrespective of the will. He’s pulled a lot of dishonest crap over the years, which is why I have nothing to do with him anymore.
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Yup, I am done with him/them. I’ve said nothing to him about his treatment of her as I want to know when she dies and where she is buried.
 
Speak of the devil, 😂, just got a text from SIL who, apparently, did have time to
“pick” through all the pictures and asked me which pictures did I want. She sorted them into categories. How nice 😡

I told her I want them all except for the pictures of her and her family 😊. No interest in them at all. Sent her my name and mailing address-in case she got confused and went to mail them elsewhere.

We shall see if I get them. I did tell her after I copied them and put ones I have on ancestry as well, I would give the originals to her son which I will. His wife is into genealogy. My children never met any of the relatives so they could not care less
 

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