Uninvited "help"?

[Sunny]

Just got back from the supermarket, and a mildly annoying question is bugging me. Not sure what I'm supposed to do about this.

The guy who rounds up the shopping carts in the parking lot, and returns them to the store, came up to me as I walked over to my car, my shopping cart loaded with bags. He asked (kind of in a pushy way) if I wanted my bags in the back seat or in the trunk. I said no thanks, I do not need any help. He insisted on helping me, saying he is mainly interested in getting the empty cart back to the store, and that would relieve me from having to return it to the front of the store. (Which I wasn't going to do anyway; that store doesn't provide any "return cart" areas out in the lot, so everybody just leaves them propped against convenient poles.)

Anyway, I finally gave in and let him put my groceries in the trunk. I wondered if I am supposed to tip him; is that why he was so insistent? (He is a store employee in a uniform, not a random person.) Or maybe it's a store policy that he's supposed to help, period, whether the customer wants his help or not?

I did not tip him, but I thanked him and left. He acted kind of gruff, I suspect he was expecting a tip. In general, it seems to me that no one should be expected to tip for services they have not asked for, especially when they have specifically said they do not want that service. But I'm still kind of uncomfortable about it.

Maybe it's nothing to do with tipping at all? It could be part of his religion to help "old ladies?" Maybe I look more helpless than I am? Who knows? I have no physical infirmities, do not walk with a cane, etc. But I do have gray hair.

BTW, I did not like the way he shoved the bags in. One bag ended up turned upside down, and my grapefruits were rolling around all over the trunk.

What would you do?

 

[Wren]

I would check with the store manager, this kind of attitude could be intimidating and frightening to vulnerable or elderly customers, they may feel obliged to tip him with cash they cannot really afford

 

[jerry old]

Nothing=as you say you did not know his intent

Was off doing nothing when the answer burst into my brain (Yea).
I had a similar incident, but different. Did not know whether to offer the kid
money or what. The Feeling was Awkward, None of us Like to Feel Awkward.

(What is expected of me, is that the correct behavior, what to do?)

 

[Uptosnuff]

We used to have "Bakers" grocery stores where I live. The policy there was to bag everyone's groceries and take them out to the customer's vehicles and load them in. It was just standard service and no one here ever tipped the bag boys for this service. My husband used to work at Bakers when he was in high school and said no one ever tipped him either.

I think I would have just accepted the service, said thanks, and righted my overturned bag. Sometimes I think it's just nice to accept someone's service without always thinking of monetary compensation.

 

[Catlady]

I do my grocery shopping at Fry's (Kroger), and buy a LOT every 2-3 weeks when I do my marathon cooking. I'm always asked if I want help taking it to the car. I always say no, but a couple of times they insisted since the bagger managed to fill up two carts out of the one cart I had brought to the register. When I tried to tip they told me they were not allowed to accept.

First of all, I feel bad not tipping but I also hate tipping. I am still able to take my own groceries to the car and like doing my own packing in the trunk of the car, so I always refuse. I think Frys just considers it part of their customer service offering the option.

 

[Lc jones]

Just got back from the supermarket, and a mildly annoying question is bugging me. Not sure what I'm supposed to do about this.

The guy who rounds up the shopping carts in the parking lot, and returns them to the store, came up to me as I walked over to my car, my shopping cart loaded with bags. He asked (kind of in a pushy way) if I wanted my bags in the back seat or in the trunk. I said no thanks, I do not need any help. He insisted on helping me, saying he is mainly interested in getting the empty cart back to the store, and that would relieve me from having to return it to the front of the store. (Which I wasn't going to do anyway; that store doesn't provide any "return cart" areas out in the lot, so everybody just leaves them propped against convenient poles.)

Anyway, I finally gave in and let him put my groceries in the trunk. I wondered if I am supposed to tip him; is that why he was so insistent? (He is a store employee in a uniform, not a random person.) Or maybe it's a store policy that he's supposed to help, period, whether the customer wants his help or not?

I did not tip him, but I thanked him and left. He acted kind of gruff, I suspect he was expecting a tip. In general, it seems to me that no one should be expected to tip for services they have not asked for, especially when they have specifically said they do not want that service. But I'm still kind of uncomfortable about it.

Maybe it's nothing to do with tipping at all? It could be part of his religion to help "old ladies?" Maybe I look more helpless than I am? Who knows? I have no physical infirmities, do not walk with a cane, etc. But I do have gray hair.

BTW, I did not like the way he shoved the bags in. One bag ended up turned upside down, and my grapefruits were rolling around all over the trunk.

What would you do?

Just got back from the supermarket, and a mildly annoying question is bugging me. Not sure what I'm supposed to do about this.

The guy who rounds up the shopping carts in the parking lot, and returns them to the store, came up to me as I walked over to my car, my shopping cart loaded with bags. He asked (kind of in a pushy way) if I wanted my bags in the back seat or in the trunk. I said no thanks, I do not need any help. He insisted on helping me, saying he is mainly interested in getting the empty cart back to the store, and that would relieve me from having to return it to the front of the store. (Which I wasn't going to do anyway; that store doesn't provide any "return cart" areas out in the lot, so everybody just leaves them propped against convenient poles.)

Anyway, I finally gave in and let him put my groceries in the trunk. I wondered if I am supposed to tip him; is that why he was so insistent? (He is a store employee in a uniform, not a random person.) Or maybe it's a store policy that he's supposed to help, period, whether the customer wants his help or not?

I did not tip him, but I thanked him and left. He acted kind of gruff, I suspect he was expecting a tip. In general, it seems to me that no one should be expected to tip for services they have not asked for, especially when they have specifically said they do not want that service. But I'm still kind of uncomfortable about it.

Maybe it's nothing to do with tipping at all? It could be part of his religion to help "old ladies?" Maybe I look more helpless than I am? Who knows? I have no physical infirmities, do not walk with a cane, etc. But I do have gray hair.

BTW, I did not like the way he shoved the bags in. One bag ended up turned upside down, and my grapefruits were rolling around all over the trunk.

What would you do?

I have a close family member that is a courtesy clerk and cart collector. He has autism and does not have the best social skills. Perhaps this was an individual with a disability? My family member tries very, very hard but he just does not see what others see.

 

[applecruncher]

I don't think it had anything whatsoever to do with tipping, and NO you are not supposed/required to tip supermarket employees.

I think he's probably under some pressure to get the carts back more quickly.

I understand your annoyance, but unless he was flat out nasty/rude, I'd let it go.

 

[Lc jones]

I have a close family member that is a courtesy clerk and cart collector. He has autism and does not have the best social skills. Perhaps this was an individual with a disability? My family member tried very, very hard but he just does not see what others see.

And to top it off you would never know by looking at him that he has a disability, which makes others think but he’s just being rude.

 

[Olivia]

I think it is just a customer service thing. I have been asked if I want help to the car. Never needed to . I still have working arms and legs, but I guess that what's required to ask.

If someone followed me to the car and insisted on helping me load all of it in, and I said no and I'd give them the evil evil. I never head of anyone required to give tip here. Maybe I'll go look it up.

Just got notice, my Pom wants to get on my bed. Gotta finish making it and stop posting instead.

 

[charry]

No sorry...i dont like that pushy attitude....i would of told him where to go , in my cockney language..... .....

 

[jerry old]

LC:
There is a grocery store in Dallas, that hires young people with mental and physical problems.
Apparently, they've been asked to be cheerful and interact with the customers.

If you are unaware of the customer service staff you can become very frustrated. Their very slow in bagging groceries, attempt phrases as in 'How are you today.' If they wheel your groceries out to car, conversation is very
awkward and peculiar.
When your through, you feel good that you have contributed a tiny bit
to these folks independence, but the process itself is laborious.

We are always in a hurry, they work at the best pace they are capable off.

We as a species are rude, unobservant, caring only about our tasks, forgetting
all about others.





,

 

[Olivia]

LC:
We as a species are rude, unobservant, caring only about our tasks, forgetting
all about others.

I don't believe that's true. If I could tell that is what was happening in the grocery stores that I frequent and any other stores, I would appreciate it and would do my best to acknowledge that and be kind.

 

[Mike]

If it was a service, they surely would have big posters
everywhere to let you know how good they were at
helping their customers, especially elderly ones and
ladies.

I would ask the customer services for clarification and
perhaps mention his pushy attitude and how he just
dumped the bags into the car.

Mike.

 

[C'est Moi]

What would I do?? I'd do nothing and not be stewing over something so trivial. Next time just do what you want and be assertive. And to those saying "talk to the manager,"; good grief. The guy probably makes minimum wage at a sh!t job so why try to make his life worse than it already is.

If everyone could stop being offended by EVERYTHING, life would be so much easier.

 

[gennie]

It may have been something as simple as he knew you did not plan to return the cart to the storefront, his shift was ending and he was not allowed to leave if there were carts in the lot. Maybe he was simply trying to save himself another trip before he got off.

Ever hear of Occam's Razor. The simple solution is often the correct one.

 

[Olivia]

What would I do?? I'd do nothing and not be stewing over something so trivial. Next time just do what you want and be assertive. And to those saying "talk to the manager,"; good grief. The guy probably makes minimum wage at a sh!t job so why try to make his life worse than it already is.

If everyone could stop being offended by EVERYTHING, life would be so much easier.

I don't agree with that. If someone can't take "No, thank you" for an answer, then something not so nice is going on. We need to, especially "older" people, need to be firm about what it is about what we feel about what is our space and what others think about that, no matter how "nice" they think they are being.

 

[Gary O']

What would you do?

I'd say something like, 'sonny, if you 'help' me by touching my stuff.... yer gonna need help back to the store...now, sit tight and you can have the cart in a minute'

 

[Catlady]

I don't agree with that. If someone can't take "No, thank you" for an answer, then something not so nice is going on. We need to, especially "older" people, need to be firm about what it is about what we feel about what is our space and what others think about that, no matter how "nice" they think they are being.

I agree, Olivia. It's like the lyric in that song, "What part of NO don't you understand?"

 

[C'est Moi]

I don't agree with that. If someone can't take "No, thank you" for an answer, then something not so nice is going on. We need to, especially "older" people, need to be firm about what it is about what we feel about what is our space and what others think about that, no matter how "nice" they think they are being.

I believe I covered that when I said to be assertive.

 

[DaveA]

What would I do?? I'd do nothing and not be stewing over something so trivial. Next time just do what you want and be assertive. And to those saying "talk to the manager,"; good grief. The guy probably makes minimum wage at a sh!t job so why try to make his life worse than it already is.

If everyone could stop being offended by EVERYTHING, life would be so much easier.

Couldn't agree more, C'est Moi.

Our local grocery has clerks out in the parking lot rounding up carts and helping folks. I"m not the most mobile person now-a-days and walk with a cane. They are always quick and courteous about offering help. I have no problem putting my stuff in the car or trunk and appreciate their taking away the cart when I'm finished. Sometimes, if no one's helping, I'll offer the cart to someone heading in - usually accompanied by a humorous comment or other friendly remark. Usually works but if not I push it back myself.

Cane or not, I NEVER leave a cart floating about in the lot to be picked up by the help. I'll return it to the store or an available rack. Some of you may not mind an errant cart being blown against your car but I do and it won't be a cart that I left to roll about.

 

[Olivia]

Cane or not, I NEVER leave a cart floating about in the lot to be picked up by the help. I'll return it to the store or an available rack. Some of you may not mind an errant cart being blown against your car but I do and it won't be a cart that I left to roll about.

I always return a cart to where it should be. I don't understand the disagreement here. Maybe as a guy you can get away with a No thank you. But I have NEVER have had anything like that done to me after I had said "No, thank you." I'm just answering a hypothetical question. Maybe that was a mistake in the first place.

 

[Aunt Bea]

I've never had that happen with a store employee but I have had it happen with some of the panhandlers/street people at one of the local stores.

It has never taken more than a firm No, thank you to blow by them.

 

[Wren]

What would I do?? I'd do nothing and not be stewing over something so trivial. Next time just do what you want and be assertive. And to those saying "talk to the manager,"; good grief. The guy probably makes minimum wage at a sh!t job so why try to make his life worse than it already is.

He may not even be employed by the store, could just be a chancer hoping to pick up some tips, personally, I would not like to be accosted by an aggressive person in any situation, not everybody is capable of being assertive and doing what they want

If he is a genuine employee he could be losing custom by behaving in this way

 

[SeaBreeze]

That never happened to me, but I like to unload my own bags and arrange them my own way in the car, especially if I have more than one store to go to. I would just say no thanks, if he insisted I'd tell him that I'd rather do it myself. I would think he'd back off at that point.

 

[CarolfromTX]

In my area, there are lots of cart return spots in the parking lot. Here, I'm happy to report most people use them. When the store cart collectors are out and about, they will often offer to take my cart back, but never to help me put the groceries in the car. There is never even a hint of an expectation of a tip. And occasionally, if a random person is headed into the store, and I am pushing my cart back, he/she will offer to push my cart back for me. I have done the same. Love my town! Oh, and always at the HEB, our major grocery store, they ask if I need help going out of the store. I always say no, but its nice to know that if ever I do need help, it's there.