Verbal Street Harassment of Women, a Daily Annoyance

Yes, and I am shy, but but not naive, and still recovering from your coarseness...
 

NYC has always been notorious for this kind of behavior... It's been going on LOOOOOOONG before porn watching on the internet. Sex in the City characters made it part of their scenes.. Remember when Miranda came right back at the cat calling construction workers and called their bluff? It seems like it's kind of a game in the city. That of course doesn't make it right if women are intimidated by it. I personally never was offended by a random whistle or harmless remark.. It made me walk a little taller... of course it goes without saying that profanity, vulgarity, and physical assault by following is over the line.
 
:pfff: Ralphy, can't you recognise a metaphor when you see one?

Or do you favour using proper noun expressions like John Thomas or Percy?

Cultural norms can be very tricky. For example, how many people outside of OZ know that "a dead dingo's donger" is a metaphor for dryness and an indication that someone wants another schooner of beer. :givemebeer:
 

Nice try. But you should apologize to the forum for shattering any member's gentle sensitivity besides mine...
 
I gather that you've never seen the movie "The Adventure's of Barry McKenzie" then Pappy.
If it was shown in your country, they probably released it with sub titles or dubbed dialogue like other foreign language films.
 
An old saying I heard years ago:

You've got to whistle at all the women...the pretty ones expect it and the ugly ones appreciate it.

Please let me know when it's safe to come out of hiding.
 
rkunsaw said:
An old saying I heard years ago:

You've got to whistle at all the women...the pretty ones expect it and the ugly ones appreciate it.

Please let me know when it's safe to come out of hiding.
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I'd have to agree... I'm not ugly, but I'm also 65.. so no more whistles.. I'd wonder what was wrong with someone who did.. I'd be more afraid of him.

BUT... I think Americans are generally way to uptight about sex.. or the appreciation of attractive people. However, there's a difference in a harmless whistle, and out and out harassment and vulgarity. I never minded the whistle.. it put a strut in my step.
 
Lol..that's one of the benchmarks of getting older..when you walk past a building site and no-one whistles..:(

I used to feel like going back and shouting.''What's wrong with me then?''..:D
 
Jackie22 said:
I agree, Twixie, used to enjoy the whistles....its been a while..lol.
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For sure... As a young nurse, the doctors used to seek me out and be sure to talk to me about their patients. NOW? They look past me in search of a young pretty one. Sometimes we older women start feeling like we are invisible. On the other hand... age has it's privileges. I have no problem going toe to toe with a doctor. The young nurses are afraid of them.. Not me.. I have no problem setting any one of them straight if I feel they have crossed a line... particularly in their behavior.
 
QuickSilver said:
For sure... As a young nurse, the doctors used to seek me out and be sure to talk to me about their patients. NOW? They look past me in search of a young pretty one. Sometimes we older women start feeling like we are invisible. On the other hand... age has it's privileges. I have no problem going toe to toe with a doctor. The young nurses are afraid of them.. Not me.. I have no problem setting any one of them straight if I feel they have crossed a line... particularly in their behavior.
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What I find particularly annoying is a young girl who has obviously been employed for her sex appeal, with the IQ of a pumpkin..

I have spent hours trying to train these girls...
 
Going back to the whistles..whistles were fine..but sometimes there would be an obscene remark..which I didn't like..

Builders can't do that here anymore..they can go to court and be fined for it!
 
I will acknowledge someone who's just saying Good Morning, and giving a friendly smile, even today. I wolf whistle was something I was always used to, okay if it wasn't excessive. If any men got out of line with their comments, I'd sometimes fire back at them and they would back off. Still getting some looks and acknowledgements today from various ages, even though I've always been in jeans and t-shirts, and never dressed provocatively. The girl in the video does seem extra pi**ed off, but in a big city where the streets are crowded, you have to ignore if you don't want the aggravation.

 
Back when I lived in Greenwich Village in NYC my daily walk took me past a construction site where there were 5 female construction workers.

Evidently they noticed my schedule and would always be on break when I came by. They'd be sitting on an iron beam, eating their lunches (yogurt, watercress sandwiches and some fresh fruit), and the harassment would begin ...

"HEY, SWEETCHEEKS!"

"HUBBA-HUBBA, BUB!"

"OH!!! BOOM-BOP-BA-BOOM!"

"OH, BABY, WHO'S YER MOMMY?"


It made me feel so ... so ...

... cheap. :hurt:


I could barely stand going past them again the next day.



In my tight jeans.
 
SifuPhil said:
Back when I lived in Greenwich Village in NYC my daily walk took me past a construction site where there were 5 female construction workers.

Evidently they noticed my schedule and would always be on break when I came by. They'd be sitting on an iron beam, eating their lunches (yogurt, watercress sandwiches and some fresh fruit), and the harassment would begin ...

"HEY, SWEETCHEEKS!"

"HUBBA-HUBBA, BUB!"

"OH!!! BOOM-BOP-BA-BOOM!"

"OH, BABY, WHO'S YER MOMMY?"


It made me feel so ... so ...

... cheap. :hurt:


I could barely stand going past them again the next day.



In my tight jeans.
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Probably walked around the block a few times huh??
 
A follow up on this situation. Another woman's perspective.
http://www.abc.net.au/news/2014-10-31/hales-walking-as-a-woman-when-compliments-are-threats/5858080

Walking as a woman: when 'compliments' are threats

The Drum
By Lydia Hales
Posted Fri 31 Oct 2014, 4:13pm


YouTube: Woman harassed on New York's streets (YouTube: Rob Bliss)

If you think this is an example of women getting their knickers in a twist over men being "friendly", then you have a lot to learn about harassment, writes Lydia Hales.

Viewers of the viral video 10 Hours of Walking in NYC as a Woman seem to be divided into those who have been surprised by what it shows and those who instead have thought, "Oh my god, someone made a video of what I deal with every day!"

But not everyone understands the problem identified by the video. These Twitter comments show that some people think the "compliments" in the video aren't actually harassment.

Commissioned by anti-street harassment organisation Hollaback!, the video was secretly filmed from a man's backpack while actor Shoshana Roberts walked behind. Over 100 instances of verbal harassment were recorded over 10 hours.
At time of writing, the video has had 20,459,978 views. Roberts has since received rape threats via online comments, according to Hollaback!

I want to make clear that connecting with strangers in a busy city, or anywhere that's not a deserted highway - through a friendly smile, a nod hello, a small conversation over some shared event - can be truly wonderful. Humans generally like to connect and feel accepted, and moments of connection in a city where everyone is pushing their way along, seemingly indifferent to every other life-form around them, can make a big difference in someone's day.

This is not the message of the video.

If you think this is an example of women getting their knickers in a twist over men being "friendly", then you have failed to recognise the distinct difference between a friendly greeting and being harassed (a point missed by reactive video "Saying hi to a woman = harassed? Yes according to feminists". Look it up if you need, I'd rather not give them traffic by posting the link).

It's all about tone and delivery. A plain "hello, how are you?" can be friendly if delivered one way, and entirely threatening if delivered in a different tone of voice or in more volatile situation. Otherwise innocent words can be, and often are, made to sound passive-aggressive when called out to an unsuspecting (usually) woman.

You might argue that women shouldn't feel threatened when being addressed by a stranger if they're in a busy street, but as we know from the bystander effect, plenty can happen in plain sight without anyone stepping in to help.

And often these attempts at "conversation" could hardly be described as being delivered in anything approaching a friendly way. The men in this video might think they have been positively charming by declaring their appreciation of a female stranger's body for all to hear, but at best they've reduced the woman's worth to the "sexiness" of her physical appearance, and at worst they've made her feel unsafe.

When women hear these sorts of comments, they aren't likely to want to stop and chat. Yet this often adds fuel to the fire and turns Romeo's "admiration" into "offence". After all, he's just given her a compliment - why can't she at least acknowledge it? Follow-up comments like "lighten up", "smile honey" and "what, too good for me? Not going to talk?" are aggressive attempts to make the woman feel more uncomfortable, and are sometimes even designed to lead passers-by into agreeing with the sentiment that she's a stuck-up bitch.

But if the woman were to respond, who's to say it wouldn't just invite further unwanted attention? In some cases, it's the most effective way to deal with a harasser: show them you're not intimidated into silence. But due to the strange phenomena of victim-blaming, if a woman engages in conversation with the man and then things continue to turn sour, there will always be a niggling suggestion that 'well, she invited the interaction - possible even 'led him on' - so who's really to blame?'

I have personally experienced this sort of street harassment.

Once, on my way home from a reasonably busy train station in Melbourne, I saw a very tall man in a baggy hoodie who had been leaning against a railing suddenly straighten up.

"Hey blondie," he said.

I stopped.

"Hey blondie come here."

I turned around and walked back the way I'd come, away from him, deciding to go through an arcade instead. I ducked into the busy supermarket, pretending to be fascinated by a display of oranges.

"Found you!" someone declared from right behind me. Prince Charming, complete with an open can of Jim Beam in his hand, had indeed found me. He even chuckled a little, as though this were a hilarious game. "I think you're really hot," he said. "Want to come to the pub with me?"

"No," I responded.

"Why not?"

"Because I don't want to."

"Why not?"

"Because ... I have a boyfriend," I lied, feeling ashamed to resort to that instead of standing my own ground.

"He's not here though is he?"

"Doesn't matter. I'm not like that," I said, and stalked off to another aisle as though I were offended rather than frightened.

During the next 15 minutes I spent loitering in the supermarket, hoping he'd gone away, I did in fact grow angry: angry that I couldn't walk home along the (busy) street that is my most direct route home, and instead wasted valuable time hiding behind tins of tuna.

When I finally left, two middle-aged men walked by, making a show of looking at me.

"Yum," said one.

I hadn't bought any food. And I didn't find it particularly friendly.

In the context of what women put up with, this is a trivial example, and unfortunately I know women who have endured much, much worse. But it is an example of the way that a seemingly harmless interaction (as it would have seemed to those near the station) can go awry.

You might be thinking "not all men would do that" and that calling out to a woman on the street is a far cry from following or harassing her. You're right: not all men (thankfully) behave like that, but there can sometimes be similarities between the men who feel they have the right to publicly pass judgment on a woman's body and the men who feel they have the right to take things one step further if the woman has engaged with them.

You might be content with shouting "hey sexy" across the street, but the woman is not to know that's all you want to do.

Lydia Hales is a freelance journalist who usually writes about science. View her full profile here.
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There was a time when men would doff their hats to a lady, and she would respond with a slight nod of the head. Or not.
Of course, in those days she was seldom unaccompanied on the street but the working class girls were and I doubt that their experiences were quite so refined. Some men do see young women on their own as prey. It's just wrong.
 
It's certainly far removed from that wonderful multicultural melting pot known as New York City ... :rolleyes:
 

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