Visiting The Graveside and Speaking to the Dead

Mike

Mike

Well-known Member
Location
London
We all do, at least most of us do, I certainly have done
so, when I visit the grave of my mother and father.

I often wonder if they get the words spoken by me do
their spirits hang about the grave hoping for a visit, or
is there an alarm system, like one of those "Ring" door
bells that send a message, when somebody visits.

We hear about Heaven, reincarnation and some people
speak to the dead and get replies, I never got a reply, if
we go to heaven, get reincarnated and speak to people
who can hear the spirits, we must divide between those
three mentioned, then there might be work, like here on
Earth, so we become huge, to cover all these things.

No, I haven't been drinking alcohol, not for over a week,
just my mind working, lately an internet friend has stopped
answering my messages and that has set me off.

Sorry to sound silly.

Mike.
 

Lee is right, not silly at all. There are some departed family members that I still grieve over many years after their death. I speak to them, in my thoughts, all the time. As one of the condolence messages read: "Always on my mind, forever in my heart."
 

My Husbands, my mothers and the best friend of both my husband and me are all here with me. They were all cremated, there ashes are stored in my china cabinet. It makes me feel better, I can talk to them, lay my hands on their urns. I don't find it strange or weird that anyone talks to those they loved that have passed.
 
It is not silly at all! I talk to my parents and even my pets because I feel they are always near by me. I searched for the graves of my ancestors and finally found my 4th great grandparents, which is not far from me at all. I talked to them and felt like they were there. Probably no one has gone to their graves in a very long time. They both died in the 1800's and I never knew anything about them. Yet I felt like they heard or saw me there. It was a mystic experience. I want to go back.
 
I get great comfort when I visit my mom‘s grave. Knowing that her bones are there, I feel closer to her than any other time. I always end up crying and telling her all of my problems like I’m a little girl again. It’s very soothing for me to be close to her like that. Her grave is in another city so I don’t get to go very often.

I think it brings comfort to visit and talk to our loved ones that have passed.
I do think in some way they hear us.
 
Mike said:
Sorry to sound silly.
Click to expand...
Not at all.

I am agnostic and don't believe in souls or sprits, but I have done this anyway. It can feel good and kind of like I am talking with the lost loved one. No harm in it, to the contrary it can make me feel better, a bit connected.
Lee said:
Not silly at all Mike. It gives you comfort and a feeling of being close even if they are not physically here.
Click to expand...
Well said, better than I.
 
I talked to my uncle, who was killed in Malaysia the year before my birth. He was serving in the 2nd AIF and was killed when the Japanese army swept down to take Singapore via the back door.

As far as I knew I was the first family member ever to locate his grave in Krangi Imperial War Cemetery and I greeted him and laid a flower.

The second time I was in Singapore I returned to the grave and had a bit of a chat with him, telling him that he was not forgotten and asking him to pass the same message to his brother who is buried in another war cemetery in Nigeria, and apologise to him for me because I will never be able to visit him.

I didn't expect either uncle to hear the message, but I did feel good about paying tribute to them and expressing love and gratitude to two uncles who did not live to see me born and grow up. I would have very much appreciated getting to know them.
 
Mike said:
We all do, at least most of us do, I certainly have done
so, when I visit the grave of my mother and father.

I often wonder if they get the words spoken by me do
their spirits hang about the grave hoping for a visit, or
is there an alarm system, like one of those "Ring" door
bells that send a message, when somebody visits.

We hear about Heaven, reincarnation and some people
speak to the dead and get replies, I never got a reply, if
we go to heaven, get reincarnated and speak to people
who can hear the spirits, we must divide between those
three mentioned, then there might be work, like here on
Earth, so we become huge, to cover all these things.

No, I haven't been drinking alcohol, not for over a week,
just my mind working, lately an internet friend has stopped
answering my messages and that has set me off.

Sorry to sound silly.

Mike.
Click to expand...
for me when I dream at night....it is a huge space -no gravity no time no space just a dark vastness no physical voices ..just essence of myself in some cases mostly random memories that I feel is "JEFE" romping through my memories and imagination for what purpose only HE knows..(.JEFE is my interpretation of subconscious, spirit, gateway and gatekeeper that runs my heartbeat, all my bodily and mental functions, hormones, blood cells, etc yet has time to piss me off about old chicken shit bosses and old acquaintances,)I never never liked and still don't yet I dream about them

oddly enough not always in a controversial manner.....!!go fiigure--

tho really hard to imagine that hitler would be there without his demons.......yet, perhaps??

seems like most stuff ---I am incapable of grasping it...

sometime, as it turns out- a tiny bit, the instincts insights concepts etc ..I get that but not sure why or why or how and if I am correct
yet, I depend heavily on my instincts upon waking up ..if it is on my mind no matter how unfitting- JEFE did it and usually my clue to act on it....seems pretty much my marching order when my feet hit the floor until it proves unworkable etc. if it does..make any sense to anyone.?? no I am no drunk or have rabies.
Mike said:
I often wonder if they get the words spoken by me do
their spirits hang about the grave hoping for a visit, or
is there an alarm system, like one of those "Ring" door
bells that send a message, when somebody visits.

We hear about Heaven, reincarnation and some people
speak to the dead and get replies, I never got a reply, if
we go to heaven, get reincarnated and speak to people
who can hear the spirits, we must divide between those
three mentioned, then there might be work, like here on
Earth, so we become huge, to cover all these things.

No, I haven't been drinking alcohol, not for over a week,
just my mind working, lately an internet friend has stopped
answering my messages and that has set me off.

Sorry to sound silly.

Mike.
Click to expand...

oddly eonghoyu not always in a contraverwieonal manner.....!!go fiigure--tho really hard to imagine that hitler would be there without his demons.......yet, perhaps?? seems like most stuff I am incapable of grapsing it....only a timy bit, the instincts insights comcepts etc ..I get that but not sure why or why or how and if I amcorrect
 
I haven't been to the cemetery in quite awhile. When there I talk to my sister, my mom, my dad, my grandma and some other relatives and friends. I think it's a good place to go to talk to them.
 
Mike said:
We all do, at least most of us do, I certainly have done
so, when I visit the grave of my mother and father.

I often wonder if they get the words spoken by me do
their spirits hang about the grave hoping for a visit, or
is there an alarm system, like one of those "Ring" door
bells that send a message, when somebody visits.

We hear about Heaven, reincarnation and some people
speak to the dead and get replies, I never got a reply, if
we go to heaven, get reincarnated and speak to people
who can hear the spirits, we must divide between those
three mentioned, then there might be work, like here on
Earth, so we become huge, to cover all these things.

No, I haven't been drinking alcohol, not for over a week,
just my mind working, lately an internet friend has stopped
answering my messages and that has set me off.

Sorry to sound silly.

Mike.
Click to expand...
Absolutely not silly dear @Mike been there done that and daughter gets answers as well. Some non-believers won't understand and to us that's fine. You know "To each it's own" we can't be all believing the same.

Takes a while with certain apps, but with this one I've always received good answers. It's free app so if you're curious, give it a go, entirely up to you. Used since 2017.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.SpottedGhosts.SpiritBox

Try to connect only with people who are in your family lines. You have natural protectors, if they loved you in life, much better communications are possible.

Good luck!

Until teen years clairvoyant, now more clairaudient...
 
You aren’t being silly at all @Mike.
It’s actually refreshing to read something so honest & open. A bit of innocent vulnerability is really sweet.

I personally like learning about those who loved and lost but loved so much that they forever feel the pull on their heart strings.
Its a good quality to have.

I certainly talk to deceased loved ones and do believe they are still around us in spirit form.
 
When i was about 11, my paternal Grandma Nell took my Mom myself an Aunt and a couple of cousins to our paternal grandpa's grave. I have a photo somewhere, i remember thinking it an odd place for what other wise felt like a picnic, but no real discomfort.

G'ma Nell and my Aunt each spent some moments alone near the headstone, in prayer and/or talking to the deceased. I'd never known him do had nothing to say. Both my parents were cremated. Mom's ashes are in my younger brother's custody. We scattered Dad's at sea-- same place he had scattered his last wife's.

Dad sent one of sisters a message the first two mornings after he died. Story of that another time. He's come to me 3 times. First time in a dream. My daughter's beloved dog, who bonded with him during the 6 weeks we cared for him when terminally ill, was very ill. And we were going to have vet euthanize her. He told me, "I'll watch over her." I told him he didn't have to come in dreams.

The second time, was the morning after my Grandson was born. We were heading to Denver to see him. I had coffee brewing when i suddenly smelled Dad's pipe tobacco. As i was looking around to see if anything else could cause the sent i heard Dad's voice: "He's beautiful and healthy!"

I'll share the third time tomorrow morning when i can upload a photo that goes with it. Not of ghost but a visual message.

There was so much left unsaid between Mom and me, i think she doesn't know where to start, so every so often she comes and rings chimes i have in the house. Often in winter when windows closed and winterized-- no drafts to cause the movement and sound.

I have in threads from my first year on SF written about my lengthy discussions with first husband after his death and the peace/closure we came to eventually.
 
i have photos of both my parents as children prominently displayed in my living room and talk to them several times a years. No immediate response. i feel my Dad 'around', watching, especially when one of our furbabies are about to cross Rainbow Bridge. And i swear he sometimes makes suggestions when i'm organizing or fixing something--but that may just be the tape of his voice teaching things playing in my head.

The third, for me definitive ADC from my Dad took place at our favorite Wyoming hiking spot (6 Mile Wilderness area) near Colorado Border. Daughter and i went for a 'farewell hike' before moving down here. The landscape photo was taken at bottom of hill near river the previous fall. Often we'd sit by the river for a while before making the hike back up the hill off to the left out of the shot, to the parking lot. We were hiking up the crest at left end of photo when the incident happened.

6 mile Wilderness area Wy.jpg

We hiked that trail often, while semi steep it didn't have obstacles like hiking the other directions (boulders one need to climb over or around). We were chatting as we often did while also scanning to make sure we didn't startle an animal or get between a Mama and babies. This day we saw mostly birds and one snake moving off the path into the brush. Daughter was walking ahead (taller than me, longer legs moved faster) but i knew she would stop if she had a concern or i asked.

Tho this was almost 17 years after Dad died he always came to mind when out in uninhabited places. i was telling my daughter i wished we could have gotten up there before he died. "He'd have loved this, even tho living most of his life in Florida had him accustomed to flatter landscapes." At that moment i felt a hand on my right shoulder, it felt warm, comforting. i briefly thought 'Dad?' but still turned to make sure another hiker hadn't somehow got that close without my hearing. (i also consider mundane explanations.)

No-one was there, there was another party but they were at least 60 ft behind us around an outward curve so i saw them thru the treetops on down hill side of the mountain. As i turned back i spotted what is in the photo below it was facing more out toward the downhill side of the mountain than the path and if i'd continued walking and talking i might not have seen it. Had to take off backpack and perch precariously on steep downhill to get the shot i wanted. But had to, felt very strongly it was a message from Dad.

rockheart.jpg

It was the abrupt end of long slender (maybe 1 ft around at most) finger of rock coming from up hill, partially buried in dust and pebbles where it crossed the path and looking out toward the river in the valley between ridges. The rough 'scar' running thru it seemed appropriate. My father had been a deeply wounded man. And he wasn't one for saying 'I love you', he usually showed thru actions or words that revealed respect and caring.
 
Last edited:
I often go to the cemetery to change my deceased family members' flowers, clean the stone and have a "conversation". I never thought there was anything weird about this? So many of us do it. It's a comfort to the living IMHO. :unsure::unsure:
 
Mike said:
We all do, at least most of us do, I certainly have done
so, when I visit the grave of my mother and father.

I often wonder if they get the words spoken by me do
their spirits hang about the grave hoping for a visit, or
is there an alarm system, like one of those "Ring" door
bells that send a message, when somebody visits.

We hear about Heaven, reincarnation and some people
speak to the dead and get replies, I never got a reply, if
we go to heaven, get reincarnated and speak to people
who can hear the spirits, we must divide between those
three mentioned, then there might be work, like here on
Earth, so we become huge, to cover all these things.

No, I haven't been drinking alcohol, not for over a week,
just my mind working, lately an internet friend has stopped
answering my messages and that has set me off.

Sorry to sound silly.

Mike.
Click to expand...
You don't sound silly.I talk to my parents all the time when I visit their grave and I believe they hear me
 
Mike said:
We all do, at least most of us do, I certainly have done
so, when I visit the grave of my mother and father.

I often wonder if they get the words spoken by me do
their spirits hang about the grave hoping for a visit, or
is there an alarm system, like one of those "Ring" door
bells that send a message, when somebody visits.

We hear about Heaven, reincarnation and some people
speak to the dead and get replies, I never got a reply, if
we go to heaven, get reincarnated and speak to people
who can hear the spirits, we must divide between those
three mentioned, then there might be work, like here on
Earth, so we become huge, to cover all these things.

No, I haven't been drinking alcohol, not for over a week,
just my mind working, lately an internet friend has stopped
answering my messages and that has set me off.

Sorry to sound silly.

Mike.
Click to expand...
The only cemetry that I am able to get to is my where my father is buried.
I go for myself and out of love and respect for my father.
I do not believe that my father is able to hear me saying the prayers.
Sometimes I say prayers for some of the other deceased family members.

When my mother is able to she goes to the cemetry.
No other family bothers to pay respects to my father.
 
Last edited:
Near where Hubby's grandparents are buried in the Methodist section of a cemetery, not far from where my grandparents are buried, is a grave that is marked, not with a headstone, but with a piece of rough slate propped up against a lump of sandstone. It has been there for a very long time and has some words handwritten using white paint. There is some Hebrew text on it. It belongs to a man with a Jewish name and there is a Star of David as well.

I have always been curious as to why this Jewish man sleeps among the Methodists. I began to tidy up the grave as we did for our relatives and placed the occasional artificial flower to brighten it. Then I learned that the Jewish custom is to place a pebble when visiting. Since then I have done this and have come to regard him as an old friend. I still do not know why he is so misplaced but in death I don't think it really matters at all.

My parents have no resting place that can be identified. Their ashes have been scattered without a marker. They will never be forgotten as long as my daughter lives.
 
I don't think you're being silly at all Mike. I'm ashamed to say it but I haven't been to my mother's and father's nor my grandbaby's graves since they died, now decades ago! Every time I'd ask someone to take me, the plan fell through. Then there's finding where their graves even are. I called the cemetery and got their grave numbers years ago, but they've got a crazy system. I wouldn't be able to find it on my own, have to make an appointment and someone takes you there! That hindered my son and I from going recently because, guess what? They are not there on Saturdays when he's off! When I finally make it to their graves, you can bet I'll lay their flowers and talk to them.

Oddly enough, I've visited my birthmother's grave a couple of times. She's buried in South Carolina (I'm in New Jersey) in our small family cemetery. When I've gone down south, one of my cousins always took me to get flowers (they allow artificial ones) then to the grave. I think I must've said at least a few words to her, but it's been 20 years, so I don't remember.

Anyway, I think talking to loved ones when at their grave sites is a pretty common thing. I believe it brings comfort and perhaps peace. It makes the living feel connected. So there's no shame in it. I was told they don't hang around their graves but they can be with us and around us whenever they want (not verbatim).
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top