What’s 1 thing you wish you never heard?

feywon said:
From late teens on i was aware from things my sisters said during visits that they'd suffered a variety of abuses over a few years in the children's home they were in between being removed from their Mom's custody till they came to live with us. I don't regret knowing that tho it pained me.

The thing i wish i hadn't heard were details that made it clear that the youngest of them had been sexually abused by Janitor, and threatened (that he would throw a litter of kittens in the furnace like he had her longjohns, because they had blood on them, if she told) yet she was still in denial. She was punished for 'losing' the underwear, and her whole life has been overly concerned with placing blame (even for things no person has control over) because she doesn't want to ve blamed.

She's a high functioning disassociative personality. Part of me has always felt she'd be healthier and happier if she'd face it and work thru how it impacted her. But i know that making someone face such a trauma before/unless they're ready can do more harm than good. Once she came very close but we were on phone and i wanted to be able to hold her if she realized. But when i said i was coming over the wall went up and she insisted i shouldn't.

A few months ago she sent me a section of a memoir she's been writing that dealt largely with their childhood years. She came within a sentence or two of acknowledging the incident but suddenly switched the focus to our sister a year older than her. I agonized over the possibility of her wanting more feedback than just it was well written. Luckily she didn't, because whike i wouldn't have spoken the whole truth for fear of pushing over an edge, i might have said something, maybe about the switch of focus that might have triggered her, and now we live far apart.

She is 80 now in happy 2nd marriage sfter being widowed a few years ago, with kids and grandkids nearby but still it haunts her without being clearly defined, an amorphous shadow that i see because she's told me enough yet she somehow doesn't put the pieces of evidence together herself. How i wish i'd never heard the bits she's said aloud without processing what they mean. It is particularly stressing because she has a Masters in Psych and she loves words as much i do yet she insulates herself from the truth those words reveal.
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how I wish I had someone as perceptive as you in my life as I grew up... what a wise and wonderful sister you must be..
 
Pepper said:
Another thing I wish I never heard. I was just starting high school when my English teacher, Miss Weinberg, weeping, said "The President has been shot. He's as dead as an Irish shillelagh."
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Like most people, I have quite a few to pick from, but if I had to pick an early one that had a lot of impact it'd be the same one as yours.

It was a day like any other day til our teacher who'd been hanging out in the teachers' lounge ran into the classroom. She was so distraught it was hard to understand what she said, but it sounded like "Our President's been shot!" She was carrying a large white radio, ran across the room, set it on the windowsill and turned it on.

When I got home from school I told my mother, but she'd already heard. After dinner, as usual, we sat down to the Huntley-Brinkley report. As the saying goes, the rest is history.

It was the first situation I recall where I had empathy- I was heartbroken for little Caroline.
The only thing I was confused about was when she reached under the flag- as I'd never seen a coffin, I thought she was touching his actual body.
Of all the goings-on over the days, the only thing that scared me was Black Jack- not so much the horse itself, but what the announcer said: Boots placed backward in the stirrups signifies the death of the rider. I don't know why, but that scared the * out of me.

You and I were both schoolgirls when we lost our President, but I was in the first grade and had just turned 6.
 
The Emergency Doctor saying just "I'm sorry" as he walked up to me.

I knew what "I'm sorry" meant. It *didn't * mean, "Your husband has stabilized, he's breathing, he's going to be OK."

It meant, "You're a widow now. Shortly we're going to be asking for your husband's organs and right after that, we'll be grilling you on who's going to be paying for this."

"I'm sorry" is something you never want to hear in an Emergency Room.
 
There are things I have heard that are so horrible , I can't repeat them aloud.
I couldn't say these to anyone, ever! I can't write them.
If I wrote them here you would gasp and probably throw up.
Wish I could disclose them and get them out of my mind but
it would be horrible truths for you or anyone to receive.
 
When a friend who said to me, I had an abortion. There is much more to this story, and I won't bore you with the details, but I could have done without ever hearing this from her.
 
Gaer said:
There are things I have heard that are so horrible , I can't repeat them aloud.
I couldn't say these to anyone, ever! I can't write them.
If I wrote them here you would gasp and probably throw up.
Wish I could disclose them and get them out of my mind but
it would be horrible truths for you or anyone to receive.
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sadly I too have seen and or heard things I can't write on a public forum..well I could, but I wouldn't be comfortable doing it...
 
Signe The Survivor said:
Well #1 There is an active shooter in the school

#2 Cancer

#3 Infertile

#4 Cheating Husband

#5 Divorce
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well I had 2 cheating husbands... ( lucky me)

I had one husband who would come home with no wages after gambling them away and with some outlandish tales as to why he had no money on a pay night..



One divorce.. and one on the horizon...

I had a (fortunately) Non-melanoma skin cancer on my leg..

so many other things I could go on and on about what I wish I'd never been told...

..but one of the worst of all was being told my 39 year old mother had taken her own life, just hours after I'd said cheerio to her as an 18 year old on my way to a weekend away...
 
I stopped by at my parents house one afternoon, years ago, and the whole household was in chaos and my dad was pounding a wall, screaming "No! NO!" And I was all WTF??? and my mom, her face soaked with tears, grabbed my arm real hard and yelled "Your brother!"

My baby brother, Mac, was killed in a car wreck at age 34. He'd been dead for 3 days and nobody knew it. We'd been calling all his friends and the hospitals and even the jail, and my sister finally called the police.

She had just identified Mac's body by the tattoo of a lion on his right forearm, and called my parents just before I got to their house.
 
Murrmurr said:
I stopped by at my parents house one afternoon, years ago, and the whole household was in chaos and my dad was pounding a wall, screaming "No! NO!" And I was all WTF??? and my mom, her face soaked with tears, grabbed my arm real hard and yelled "Your brother!"

My baby brother, Mac, was killed in a car wreck at age 34. He'd been dead for 3 days and nobody knew it. We'd been calling all his friends and the hospitals and even the jail, and my sister finally called the police.

She had just identified Mac's body by the tattoo of a lion on his right forearm, and called my parents just before I got to their house.
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Oh Murrmurr, I'm so sorry!
 
hollydolly said:
well I had 2 cheating husbands... ( lucky me)

I had one husband who would come home with no wages after gambling them away and with some outlandish tales as to why he had no money on a pay night..



One divorce.. and one on the horizon...

I had a (fortunately) Non-melanoma skin cancer on my leg..

so many other things I could go on and on about what I wish I'd never been told...

..but one of the worst of all was being told my 39 year old mother had taken her own life, just hours after I'd said cheerio to her as an 18 year old on my way to a weekend away...
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Losing my mom was awful, but she lived her life to the fullest and had a long life. What you experienced hollydolly is just awful with you mom and at such a young age. My dad lost his life less then a week after I was born on his job as a Police Officer. I of course never knew him, but my mom spent her lifetime telling me about how wonderful of a man he was.
 
I was around 8 or 9 my sister had been told at school by some schoolmates they had heard from their parents that she had been adopted when she was a baby…of course she came home crying…my parents brought her in the living room and thought I was in my bedroom..but I was hidden behind the TV ( back then they were a big piece of furniture) anyway..I heard them tell her..that she had been chosen among all the other babies and that she was Special…she asked if I was adopted also….they told her my mother had me and almost died giving me birth…I never told anyone I had heard that..but..I never did feel special….being young I often thought they had to dislike me for what I had done to my mom!
 
One thing I wish I never heard?
Tonight I saw a chart comparing how much bigger Uranus is to Earth
Then I clicked on the comments. Don't do that lol
I guess people will never be mature enough to not make jokes about Uranus
Example: Did you know you can fit 96 Earth's inside Uranus...98 if you relax
awful.gif

That's what I mean.
 

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