What Advice Can Your Offer To Others Based On Your Life Experiences?

Ivanchuk

Ivanchuk

Über Zealot
Location
Canada
Hi All.

Because of our ages we have much more wisdom in life than most younger people. Quite often we have sound advice to give, and just as often, young ones don't listen to us.
My father is 85yo. If I knew half of what he forgot about life I'd be doing great. During your time in life, what advice can you offer to others, adults or children? One thing that I've learned in my time is to never be too quick to anger. When someone gets angry enough, quite often they say and do things that they regret later on when they calm down.
I know it's not easy thing to do, keeping your cool, but with practice it is possible. What advice do you have to share from your life's experiences?

EDIT: My apologies if this topic has already been done. I just noticed the "Advanced Search" option a few seconds ago after the thread was already posted. My bad.
 

Being a worry wart is a useless exercise, it solves nothing. Most times, what you worry about, turns out to be not as bad as you thought it was going to be. Don't waste your energy by worrying.
 
I agree about worry; wish I could stop doing it. :p So true about anger - learn to hold your tongue and think before you speak. Many times, it is fear that provokes anger; someone is afraid, and anger is their first response. Keep cool; see if you can find out what's really wrong.
 

I would tell them to enjoy the present, enjoy every day of their life, live in the moment because it will soon be history. Too many people young and old dwell on things in the past that make them unhappy, and they cannot change. Others spend their days fearing what's to come in the future and worrying about that.

All the while, they are wasting the most precious of times, their life in the present...that's what will make a pleasant memory for tomorrows to come. And if your time has come, and you're taken from this earth, at least you will have appreciated your time here. :rose:
 
Don't say hurtful things in anger, it is impossible to take those words back, and they can strike deep into a person's soul and cause irreparable damage.

An apology can't take those words back. Nothing can erase them from a person's mind, they are permanently seared into your brain.

My other advice is don't sweat the small stuff, if it's not for real life and death, then, it's not life or death.

Try to see the humor in life and laugh as much as possible. Stay away from people who are fun sponges as much as possible. They can suck the life right out of a person.
 
Ivanchuk said:
Quite often we have sound advice to give, and just as often, young ones don't listen to us.
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Exactly .. that isn't giving advice, it's that nasty word "lecturing".

1) First of all, make sure that the person who is talking to you is actually soliciting your advice. He or she may just want you to listen, wanting instead understanding and compassion.
2) Don't assume that everyone wants advice.
3) You may have some insight into the problem, but you really need to listen to a person first, to understand the situation... If, and only if, they actually ASK for advice should you then give it.

(That's my answer... after living through the trying years of three teen-agers. ..
and I learned this life lesson early on, because my mother was a lecturer. )
 
All of the above.

That 'worry' thing. Imagine the worst possible outcome.
Can you stop it happening?
Yes = do that.
No = no point in worrying then is there?
Just brace yourself and wait. Odds are that the worst won't happen and you'll be quite pleased about that

"Pessimists are never disappointed".
 
Hang on tight and love the ones closest to your heart. Forgive them should they cross you. You never know how long they will have them. Your loved ones are the ones who will be there when you fall to pick you back up. The ones who will work their guts out to prevent you from falling to begin with. Settle any petty problems that make you act like children. Don't hold grudges. Giving someone closest to you the "Silent Treatment" and ignoring their phone calls because you had a tiff with them can and does lead you down the road of disaster should the one your angry with pass away.

This will leave you with a feeling of regret and guilt of the greatest magnitude. Kicking yourself because your last memory of them is a stupid fight over most likely, a dumb ass reason. The way the world is today, being blessed with a family and true friends is a rare thing. Hang onto them. If you are currently feuding with a loved one, try and work it out. Loving someone and forgiving someone isn't always easy. This is why it takes a big heart sometimes. A big heart and the ability to love someone even after they burn you for whatever reason, is a wonderful thing to have. Don't ever let anger ans resentment destroy your heart, because you will never get it back.
 
When faced with a decision, write it down along with "what is the best thing that could happen" and "what is the worse thing that could happen." You'll be surprised how easy it to make that decision when it is laid out in front of you.
 
I've found that since I was diagnosed with a chronic illness in 2006, that I have learned to have more patience and compassion for people. I look at people with handicaps, illnesses, etc in a different way, because I know that at some point I could be in their situation. I never forget that although my illness is bad, that it could be so much worse than it is. Mine was caught early enough.

I have also learned a lot from my Dad. He has survived 3 different forms of cancer, one of them is supposed to be incurable, Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma. He also has had Prostate cancer as well as several skin cancers. He's a Navy Vet, so I know he's tough. Last year he broke his collar bone playing football with my nephews...he's in his 70's and told his doctor that he was just living life...that's all he knows to do. The broken bones did not heal together, so he had to have surgery, after the surgery he lost use of his right arm/hand, and just recently has finally regained full use. I honestly don't know what else this man could go through.

I read a quote somewhere a few months ago that says "Refuse to Sink"........that must be my Dad's mottos.......it's mine too now. I have bad days and good days because of my illness but I refuse to let this define who I am. So, patience with others and myself, compassion, determination, are things I would pass on to others.

Another thing..my husband always says, "You think long, you think wrong"...lol I guess that could be good advice too. Wow, i'm rather long winded here! Sorry! We Southern girls can get chatty at times!:eek:
 
When seeking advice, try to find someone who is very knowledgeable about your situation (has the current facts), is honest and cares about you (is not self-serving) It is easy to find one of these, not so easy to find all of these together. Thus, the internet is not a good place because you do not know how much the other actually knows and they will probably not care what happens to you. Many well intentioned people will lead you the wrong way and that includes therapists and other professionals. Often they do not know what they are talking about, totally.
 
Amethyst1 said:
When seeking advice, try to find someone who is very knowledgeable about your situation (has the current facts), is honest and cares about you (is not self-serving) It is easy to find one of these, not so easy to find all of these together. Thus, the internet is not a good place because you do not know how much the other actually knows and they will probably not care what happens to you. Many well intentioned people will lead you the wrong way and that includes therapists and other professionals. Often they do not know what they are talking about, totally.
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:iagree: Good advice, even with best intention, is only good from the viewpoint of the 'giver.' The internet is a well of information and education but it's 'advice' and Youtube should be taken with a grain of salt.
 
I'm new on this forum and just browsing. I'm really impressed with a lot of the wisdom in this topic.

My own "words of wisdom" are: don't get old. Old age is a state of mind, having very little to do with your chronological age. Some people are young at 90, some are old at 40. Above all, keep moving; don't stagnate, physically or mentally!
 
Diwundrin said:
:iagree: Good advice, even with best intention, is only good from the viewpoint of the 'giver.' The internet is a well of information and education but it's 'advice' and Youtube should be taken with a grain of salt.
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I dont trust anyone on the net with any of my personal problems.
Best way,IMO, is in person face to face.
 
Sunny said:
I'm new on this forum and just browsing. I'm really impressed with a lot of the wisdom in this topic.

My own "words of wisdom" are: don't get old. Old age is a state of mind, having very little to do with your chronological age. Some people are young at 90, some are old at 40. Above all, keep moving; don't stagnate, physically or mentally!
Click to expand...
Welcome Sunny.:)
 

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