What are you doing today?

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hollydolly said:
My God..☹️. this is such a horribly sad and tragic story... thank you for trusting us with it, I wish there was something I could do to help ..🤗...you've gone through Hell by the sounds of it with regard the way you've been treated and your rare cancer.....and still going through it all by being dependant on someone else for your own money

I was just a little confused by one thing you wrote, which I've bolded above... ''triplet brothers ''?
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My sons are triplets. They have always been very close, not so much now. #1 will only speak to #3 (moneybags). #2 will only speak to my daughter because he is mad about #1 moving to CA and #3 supporting him financially when #3 won't get a job. #3 speaks to #1, me (when he wants to), and my daughter.
 

WheatenLover said:
No you did not. He knew he was taking the money, what it was for, etc. Maybe he feels somewhat responsible since there is no way I can live on less money than my rent.

I don't know how truthful he is being. He told me when he started talking to me again that he was thinking of dividing the money up among my children.

This story sounds unbelievable to me, but it is not.

Once, I was an active poster on a forum for 11 years. I told them, over the course of 3 months, what was happening in my life. It was brief, not long-winded as I am here. I thought I was well-known and respected until a lot of people didn't believe me. They said too many bad things had happened in too short a period of time. These weren't my friends at this forums, just regular participants I hadn't formed friendships with.

What happened was, I had a heart attack. We had to put my beloved collie down because he had lymphoma. My husband had several strokes. My cardiologist diagnosed why I had been barely able to walk for years -- not bursitis, like my doctor in Boston had told me -- peripheral artery disease. My son was admitted to the psych ward at a hospital 2 hours drive from us, for 12 days.

I didn't tell this story here because I was worried people wouldn't believe me or would think I somehow caused this to happen.

My mom had decided to put the money in a trust for me but she was way too sick in her last to weeks of life to sign the papers. I realized after she died that she had made a massive effort not to let my sister and I know how sick she was, until she couldn't do it any more. She didn't want us to worry about her, even though we did, and even though I told her I would support whatever she decided to do about cancer treatment, including a no-treatment option. She chose the no treatment option without saying a word about it. She simply said she was scheduled for various treatments, which was not true. She was way too sick for treatment to have done her any good whatsoever.
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I'm sending you healing energy. I really hope that you find emotional peace, and physical wellbeing...and that your family issues turn themselves around. 💓
 
WheatenLover said:
My sons are triplets. They have always been very close, not so much now. #1 will only speak to #3 (moneybags). #2 will only speak to my daughter because he is mad about #1 moving to CA and #3 supporting him financially when #3 won't get a job. #3 speaks to #1, me (when he wants to), and my daughter.
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This is all so sad. I almost feel like you need a "score card" to keep track of who's talking to who. And the motive behind it all.....so very, very sad. 😢
 
hollydolly said:
@WheatenLover , did you know we have a Diary section here ?... you might prefer to use it and get so much off your chest when and if you feel like it...


https://www.seniorforums.com/forums/diaries.40/

I just feel yoour story is too big and hurtful for you, to have it lost amongst our daily chores and minutiae posts on this 'what are you doing today '' thread...
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Yes, I know about the diary section. I thought about using it, but really it would be pretty boring. I am happy the vast majority of the time, and my life consists of reading, taking care of the dog while my daughter is on vacation, and doing what I can around the house. I am, generally speaking, the only problem solver in my family. Right now, I don't have to solve any problems because there isn't anything I can do about them, and I don't dwell on them. If I have a problem I can do something about, I figure it out.

I try to live in the present, and most of the time I do. My planning for the future consists of taking it one or two days at a time. I rarely despair over the situation because that doesn't do anything positive for me. I don't know why I am so darned happy because in the past I would have been an emotional wreck over all this, and extremely anxious.
 
Today thus far, I've cleared out all of my Laundry (airing ) cupboard . I filled a whole big Black bin liner with bedding I no longer use and put them in the bin.. and filled another with towels which are to go to the nearest Dog kennels..

I have 3 deep shelves in there , and so now all the bedding is in the storage area under the sleigh bed...and the bath and hand towels all are able to sit on one shelf, leaving lots of space in the airing cupboard for me to store some pillows and cushions

I've replaced the draught excluder on the back door with new, after the stuff o/h put on the door a couple of years ago has come loose in the last couple of days ..
 
Remy said:
So glad it's raining in California but one thing I'm not doing today is going over to feed the small feral colony at my work place. I'll have to wait for a break in the weather and go over then. Luckily before work yesterday, it wasn't raining and I was able to feed them.

I know they will survive, they have good weights on them, but I still worry about them and feel bad. But it's no use going over in the rain. And it's windy.
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My neighbor has about 10 cats that are basically feral. They will not come to anyone but him. He made cat houses for them - each hold several cats, to get them out of the winter weather. He heats them with a light bulb. The cats love it. Maybe your feral colony would like a box with blankets or towels in it, to get out of the weather. I don't know anything about using light bulbs to heat an enclosed space, not even sure if it would be dangerous.
 
I am sitting here attempting to eat breakfast, ham chunks
with eggs, and not spill it on the floor or computer....it is
43 deg here, may get into 60's later on...have the shakes
real bad today for some reason....my county caseworker comes by about noon thirty, just to check I guess....low back and
hips bursa trying to tell me to take a pain pill...will think about
it....it's hell not being able to do much of anythin g.......later.... 🙁
 
@StarSong
There is no reasonable Plan B. My stepdaughter's husband told me that if #3 stopped paying my bills to move in with them. I told him that I would not do that until my health is back to normal. It would involve moving to Atlanta, and to a state that has a terrible medicare/medicaid system compared to PA.

My main concern is that they don't really have the space for another person and it would require a sacrifice on their part to take me in. Also, if I were healthy again, full of energy, spunk, and stamina, I could be a big help to them. They both work full-time, have a teenager and a 9 year old, a dog, and a cat. I absolutely love and adore the entire family.

And my ex-husband (stepdaughter's father) is in a nursing home, quite ill after breaking his ankle, getting Covid, then sepsis, etc. He is still too sick to come home. He lives with them, and we all dearly hope he will get better and be able to go home. His huge room is the biggest in the house. It is a former art studio and playroom for the kids, about 25% of the s.f. of the house.

My stepdaughter's husband said he would put his boys (a high school senior and a 9 year old) in a room together, but that is not a good idea for the kids.

My ex-husband and I have always maintained good relationships between our two families. So far, for over 30 years, so we've been successful. When we were married, every family gathering including both families and his ex-wife and her family, so this is just normal for us.
 
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Remy said:
So glad it's raining in California but one thing I'm not doing today is going over to feed the small feral colony at my work place. I'll have to wait for a break in the weather and go over then. Luckily before work yesterday, it wasn't raining and I was able to feed them.

I know they will survive, they have good weights on them, but I still worry about them and feel bad. But it's no use going over in the rain. And it's windy.
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It's really pouring in So Cal now. So glad to see the rain but delighted I don't have to go out in it.
Hoping some lakes, rivers and reservoirs will fill up a bit.
 
This is from my talk with my Eye surgeon yesterday.
================================

Went back to my old Retina Dr yesterday. We got to talking after he had done the shot.

He asked why I was using a walker? I told him I'm supposed to get a total knee replacement soon as they open up elective surgeries.

He said I don't look for that till maybe Feb. As I was in the hospital last week doing surgery on a woman that had a detached retina.

He said they had the ER full of patients, a lot were in beds in the halls. I ask where Mrs ?? was at as I need to talk to her before her surgery? The nurse said she is in O.R. 3 as even pre-op is full of Conav people. So we had to take her to the O.R. to even get her ready.
 
@Aneeda72

I've taken nitro for 19 years, and it has always made the angina pain go away. Sometimes I have to take 2, I think the directions say 5 minutes apart, but not sure. I rarely need it. I have not had any side effects from it. In fact, I don't know what they are.

I've had heart problems since I had emergency double bypass surgery when I was 46, 19 years ago. Before that, for several years my doctor attributed my symptoms to the stress of raising 4 kids. Back then it was pretty normal for doctors to blame women's undiagnosed heart problems on stress; that has changed for the better. A week before the emergency surgery, I was hospitalized, and the chief cardiologist told me I was faking my symptoms, and told me to go home and to get a therapist. My symptoms were typical heart disease symptoms, btw. But I was too young, had no family history, etc. By the time of the surgery, I was treated as a medical anomaly and tons of cardiologists came to see me beforehand, just to gaze upon the miracle. And what was it? That I was alive! I should have been dead at least 6 months earlier.

Your symptoms alarm me, as I have had the same ones over the years, and for a lot of had to fight to get treatment. I am glad you are going to the doctor, and that women's heart problems are no longer all in their heads. But you still need to be your own best advocate, including getting a second opinion just to be on the safe side.

I really lucked out when I moved to this small town because my interventional cardiologist is tops in his field, as he has proven by his various treatments he's given me. I hope your cardiologist is as wonderful as mine is.
 
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StarSong said:
It's really pouring in So Cal now. So glad to see the rain but delighted I don't have to go out in it.
Hoping some lakes, rivers and reservoirs will fill up a bit.
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My daughter is in Long Beach. She was really surprised that it is going to be raining, I guess most of the time she is there. You guys really need rain, an understatement I'm sure, so I'm glad you've got it and that you don't have to go out in it.
 
My bad cold is still with me. Yesterday I got out for a 20 minute walk and today the weather is as nice as yesterday, so I'm going out to the new toy store and I want to be out minimum of one hour. Tomorrow, Wednesday, I'm with my grandson! 🥰 So, I must be totally better and I will. I can recommend Mucinex to anyone with chest & head congestion! Works wonders!
 
hollydolly said:
...but it's not just the USA...the uk and Europe are exactly the same. ..even car parts are very difficult to source now
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My daughter's 2004 Honda CRV needs a new water system -- for the water that comes out to wash the windshield. This is a big safety issue because of all the salt on the roads (a ton of it!) when it snows. The whiteouts usually caused just by heavy snowing are always caused by the salt on the road.

The parts are hard to find, but I found them on Amazon. Haven't ordered them because I have to talk to the mechanic, in case he has a source he'd rather use. I don't like buying things I don't know anything about! And the mechanic is honest and he charges about half what the car dealers charge.
 
StarSong said:
You might want to try to figure one out before you find yourself in dire straits.

Have you looked into housing assistance, SNAP benefits, energy bill relief, etc? A lot of American seniors on this forum receive various benefits and assistance to help them with their bills.
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I get SNAP benefits, and this week I am planning to file the papers with the agency that handles all benefits --- to update my situation.

I also have both Medicaid and Medicare and want to be sure that stays in place.
 

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