What do women really want?

As I have some insight into Graham's mind I can tell you, those of you who are "not biting" or "done with the discussion", my idea in posting the OP was to have some fun, "humourous fun", as generations of men and women have done, emphasising or exaggerating the differences between the sexes. Hard to believe such a noble intent could do much harm to anyone, or if not noble, very mildly irreverent intent.

I've never hit a woman, I've been lucky enough to be the father of a daughter who has achieved pretty remarkable things in her life so far, having been married to a woman who told me, admittedly very quietly, (oh and once in church), she loved me and wanted my child.

However, in spite of that record I can see how some women might wish to use my intended joke about no one getting killed in an argument, as justification for holding me as a man, responsible for those vio!ent men there certainly are out there. A good friend of mine, whose husband did use violence against her when he was serving in the British armed services, and she was in Malaysia as an army wife. She said something similar about all men being held responsible if one father has been guilty of harming their child. I'd suggest, as most men try to protect their children from anyone harming them, she might have been wrong there.

Other than that, what a thread hey, as what's his name, who was once married to Katy Perry said, after being castigated for publicly upsetting the father of a former girlfriend, and ended up losing a radio presenting job, and our prime minister condemning him and Jonathan Ross, who only witnessed the event, "I do worse things than that every day"! :giggle:(Russell Brand wasn't it) .
 
win231 said:
Recently a "Husband Super Store" opened where women could choose a husband from among many men. The store was laid out in five floors with the men increasing in positive attributes with each higher floor.
There were only two rules:
1. Once a door was opened, the woman HAD to choose a man from that floor.
2. If a woman went up a floor, she couldn't go back down except to leave the store & never return.

A couple of women went to the store to find husbands.
On the first floor, the door had a sign that read: "These men have jobs & love kids."
After reading the sign, the women said, "Well, that's OK but I wonder what's further up."

Second Floor - The sign read: "These men have high-paying jobs, love kids & are extremely good looking."
“Hmmmmm," said the ladies. "But I wonder what's further up."

Third Floor - The sign read: "These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking & help with the housework."
"Wow," said the women. "Very tempting." But there was another floor, so up they went.

Fourth Floor - this door had a sign that read: "These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework & are very romantic."
"Oh, mercy me," they cried. "Just think what must be awaiting us on the next floor!!" So up to the fifth floor they went.

Fifth Floor - the sign on that door said: "This floor is empty & exists only to prove that women are impossible to please. The exit is on your left. Goodbye."
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Thank you for sharing this piece of harmless fun, surely the most hard hearted of women might have enjoyed, (and their self appointed spokesperson can even tell us now.;) )
 
grahamg said:
As I have some insight into Graham's mind I can tell you, those of you who are "not biting" or "done with the discussion", my idea in posting the OP was to have some fun, "humourous fun", as generations of men and women have done, emphasising or exaggerating the differences between the sexes. Hard to believe such a noble intent could do much harm to anyone, or if not noble, very mildly irreverent intent.

I've never hit a woman, I've been lucky enough to be the father of a daughter who has achieved pretty remarkable things in her life so far, having been married to a woman who told me, admittedly very quietly, (oh and once in church), she loved me and wanted my child.

However, in spite of that record I can see how some women might wish to use my intended joke about no one getting killed in an argument, as justification for holding me as a man, responsible for those vio!ent men there certainly are out there.
Let's not start exaggerating. No-one is accusing you of abusing women. All you have been accused of is a lack of understanding of why it is that some women have had experiences that you as a man can never have known and why they don't find your attempt at humour all that funny. You accidentally blundered into a minefield. I'm sure your wife and children are used to you by now but that is not the case for every woman on this forum.

You asked what women want and you have been schooled on that subject. We all want different things, for different reasons, just like our male counterparts. And we are sick of being demeaned.

A good friend of mine, whose husband did use violence against her when he was serving in the British armed services, and she was in Malaysia as an army wife. She said something similar about all men being held responsible if one father has been guilty of harming their child. I'd suggest, as most men try to protect their children from anyone harming them, she might have been wrong there.
Have you ever thought that it is the responsibility of decent men to intervene to protect women who are not their own daughters? The standard we walk past Is the standard we accept.

Other than that, what a thread hey, as what's his name, who was once married to Katy Perry said, after being castigated for publicly upsetting the father of a former girlfriend, and ended up losing a radio presenting job, and our prime minister condemning him and Jonathan Ross, who only witnessed the event, "I do worse things than that every day"! :giggle:(Russell Brand wasn't it) .

I understand that Russell Brand has had an epiphany since then.
Not so sure about Jonathan Ross though.
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This blog is the only blog I am on. Just like I only have one computer game. But I have a TV in every room of my house except the kitchen 😂. I spend so little time in the kitchen. Apparently, I truly want access to TV. It’s why I can’t be homeless, no Comcast.

Someone mentioned the word troll to me, hmm, I looked the definition up. An internet troll is someone who makes intentionally inflammatory, upsetting statements online to elicit emotional responses in people. I didn’t think then, and don’t think now, that there are any trolls on this forum. I could be wrong. Not incorrect @Aunt Marg 😂 just wrong.

Although, I could not find a site that compared the difference between an internet troll and an extremely ignorant human being who stubbornly clings to the outdated useless negative values and derogatory behaviors they learned in the 1950’s and earlier. Such human beings can only achieve a sense of self worth and gain attention by poke, poke, poking at others.

Then I looked up what “trigging someone” means. The definition “triggers are anything that might cause a person to recall a traumatic experience they’ve had”. 😮. So, trolls or certain ignorant human beings, deliberately, intentionally, and mindfully want to cause other human beings pain.

Nothing new there.

But I did reaffirm, via my internet searches, and combined with what I already knew, that no matter what you call them, some people are sometimes toxic; not all the time but sometimes. My mother, while horrific to me, was a decent human being to my brother.

The toxic side of some people, IMO, must not be completely ignored, either on the forum or in real life. When they spew their poison, a bucket must be provided. But when they poke, poke, poke, like a 5 year old child, ignoring them is fine. IMO.
 
I've had to do a bit of cut and pasting here, (hope you can follow it?):

Grahamg wrote in black, (Warrigal's comments she wrote in blue extracted and reposted below in itallics):

"As I have some insight into Graham's mind I can tell you, those of you who are "not biting" or "done with the discussion", my idea in posting the OP was to have some fun, "humourous fun", as generations of men and women have done, emphasising or exaggerating the differences between the sexes. Hard to believe such a noble intent could do much harm to anyone, or if not noble, very mildly irreverent intent.

I've never hit a woman, I've been lucky enough to be the father of a daughter who has achieved pretty remarkable things in her life so far, having been married to a woman who told me, admittedly very quietly, (oh and once in church), she loved me and wanted my child.

However, in spite of that record I can see how some women might wish to use my intended joke about no one getting killed in an argument, as justification for holding me as a man, responsible for those vio!ent men there certainly are out there.

A good friend of mine, whose husband did use violence against her when he was serving in the British armed services, and she was in Malaysia as an army wife. She said something similar about all men being held responsible if one father has been guilty of harming their child. I'd suggest, as most men try to protect their children from anyone harming them, she might have been wrong there.

Other than that, what a thread hey, as what's his name, who was once married to Katy Perry said, after being castigated for publicly upsetting the father of a former girlfriend, and ended up losing a radio presenting job, and our prime minister condemning him and Jonathan Ross, who only witnessed the event, "I do worse things than that every day"!

Warrigal wrote:
"Let's not start exaggerating. No-one is accusing you of abusing women. All you have been accused of is a lack of understanding of why it is that some women have had experiences that you as a man can never have known and why they don't find your attempt at humour all that funny. You accidentally blundered into a minefield. I'm sure your wife and children are used to you by now but that is not the case for every woman on this forum.

You asked what women want and you have been schooled on that subject. We all want different things, for different reasons, just like our male counterparts. And we are sick of being demeaned.

Have you ever thought that it is the responsibility of decent men to intervene to protect women who are not their own daughters? The standard we walk past Is the standard we accept."

Grahamgs response to the above:
If I'd said someone has accused me of abusing anyone then your comments would have had a point, as it is I didn't, I just said a joke about "no one being killed" by our discussion/argument, had morphed into my somehow being insensitive towards those who have received violence at the hands of a partner/husband. You shouldn't assume that to be the case, I'm appalled such things happen, and when something of the kind happened to someone I know, I shunned the man concerned for thirty years, (then discovered there'd been some exaggeration in that case, but nonetheless I'm in no doubt the man was capable of violence, though he never came close to killing anyone, and in his own way cared for and provided for his four children, who btw he didn't hit).

We've covered the ground as to what women might want, and the shortcomings of the thread title and OP, but thanks for refreshing everyone's memory. .

Your question about decent men protecting women who are not their daughters is an interesting one. I've a friend who did just that when he heard a man was assaulting his wife, by engineering a situation where the man thought he was making a play for the woman/wife concerned, and the man tried to fight my friend. There was only going to be one winner in that situation, but whether the man knew why he'd ben set up I dont know, (I think the police turned a blind eye, so maybe they understood?).

I do know this as far as men standing up for women, and it concerns an account given in a biography of Germaine Greer where a group of men at a party warned Germaine of the danger posed to her by a certain individual. She chose to ignore the warning and I think was assaulted when she allowed him to take her home, (or maybe worse?). Then these same men wanted to intervene on her behalf again when they discovered what had happened, but she declined their assistance, the author of this autobiography and account of what happened said, (a female friend of Germaine's at the time). Years later Germaine claimed no one had tried to help her, or no man had when she'd suffered this attack, (another case of selective hearing/memory perhaps?).

I do see bullying of all kinds around me, but have been unbelievably lucky so far not to be a victim at any time in my life, and had mates stick up for me and without question, saving my skin, I'm in no doubt at all. I'm lucky too, in having encountered very few women who have suffered. One other comes to mind, beyond the two I've mentioned already, and would you believe a policeman friend of the perpetrator assisted that man avoiding the full force of the law he should have faced, by convincing the woman not to press charges. I'm appalled by that situation as much as I'm sure any woman here is.
 
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grahamg said:
I do know this as far as men standing up for women, and it concerns an account given in a biography of Germaine Greer where a group of men at a party warned Germaine of the danger posed to her by a certain individual. She chose to ignore the warning and I think was assaulted when she allowed him to take her home, (or maybe worse?). Then these same men wanted to intervene on her behalf again when they discovered what had happened, but she declined their assistance, the author of this autobiography and account of what happened said, (a female friend of Germaine's at the time). Years later Germaine claimed no one had tried to help her, or no man had when she'd suffered this attack, (another case of selective hearing/memory perhaps?).
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Interesting that you mention Germaine Greer. I don't suppose that you have read any of her published work. Have you read the biography that outlines the assault she is supposed to have suffered after being warned, a warning she foolishly ignored? I cannot find reference to such a book.
 
Warrigal said:
Interesting that you mention Germaine Greer. I don't suppose that you have read any of her published work. Have you read the biography that outlines the assault she is supposed to have suffered after being warned, a warning she foolishly ignored? I cannot find reference to such a book.
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Yes I've read it as I said, quite a few years ago though, so I'm unable to give you an authors name straight away.

...Just checked and I think there may be two possible candidates, and the most likely is the Christine Wallace one(?)

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/greer-savages-dung-beetle-biographer-1241706.html

....And there is yet another one, but I'd probably stick with the one I mentioned above as the likeliest to contain the account I mentioned, (as Christine Wallace managed to get Germaine Greer's mother Peggy to cooperate, and there was quite a lot of detail about the family, especially Germaine's hostility as a young girl towards her father, when he returned from seven years away fighting in WWII in Europe, and was a changed or traumatised man perhaps) :

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2...life-of-germaine-greer-by-elizabeth-kleinhenz

One last one, again probably not the one I read, and maybe stuck behind paywall:

https://www.lrb.co.uk/the-paper/v41/n20/mary-beard/the-greer-method
 
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rgp said:
IMO, that question can only be answered by women , and it is [again opinion] subject to each woman individually , because no one really knows what another [male or female] is thinking, or desires.
As such, I never gave it any thought.
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You never met my father obviously, but would you believe it he used to tell us children we should "read his mind", (maybe so we eased up on the darn fool questions?).

I think some individuals are blessed, (or cursed perhaps), by having deep insights into the behaviour of others, but I'd agree with you if you said they're rare(?).
(your post amused me btw)
 
grahamg said:
You never met my father obviously, but would you believe it he used to tell us children we should "read his mind", (maybe so we eased up on the darn fool questions?).

I think some individuals are blessed, (or cursed perhaps), by having deep insights into the behaviour of others, but I'd agree with you if you said they're rare(?).
(your post amused me btw)
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You're likely correct on a few points.
 
As this came up, or I brought it up earlier in the thread, here are the aims of the organisation I mentioned:

Aims and Objects Of Round Table

1. To develop the aquaintance of young men throughout the medium of their various occupations

2. To emphasise the fact that one's calling offers an excellent medium of service in the community

3. To cultivate the highest ideals in business, professional and civic traditions

4. To recognise the worthiness of all legitimate occupations and dignity each his own by precept and example

5. To further establishment of peace and goodwill in international relations

6. To further these objects by meetings, lectures, discussions and other activities.

Here are some details taken from one particular Round Table website:
"Read the 10 reasons people give for not giving the Round Table a go, along with the real story behind the myths.
Aren’t you a secret society like the Free Masons?

No, we are not a secret club. The Round Table movement is very open – for example, you quite often see things in the press about Round Table, and at no point are you asked to keep your Round Table activities secret.

I am very busy and Round Table appears too time-consuming?

Round Table clubs meet twice a month with other events linked into annual calendars. It is entirely down to you how much you put in, and like everything in life, the more you enjoy it the more you want to do it.

I thought it was a club just for businessmen and I’m not in business?

Members of Round Table are drawn from a wide range of occupations, not just businessmen.

Isn’t Round Table a fundraising organisation; I wouldn’t enjoy rattling cans on street corners?

Members often get involved with their local communities, helping people who are less fortunate than themselves, and supporting voluntary organisations. However, it’s as much about giving time and skills as fundraising, and whatever clubs do, it’s always about having fun!

It appears to be an old-fashioned organisation that meets in pubs and two-star hotels?

The Round Table is all about trying new experiences you wouldn’t otherwise have taken part in, with friends you wouldn’t otherwise have met. You can learn new skills, put something back into the community and it’s not just a local, but a worldwide club. We don’t think there’s anything old fashioned about that! Oh, and we’ve yet to meet a Round Table member who doesn’t enjoy the odd night down the pub!

It appears to be only for middle-aged, middle-class men?

Members of Round Table can be from 18 to age 45 and are drawn from all sorts of occupations, social and ethnic groups, and backgrounds. It’s this diversity that makes the Round Table experience so valuable.

It must be pretty expensive to be a member of a club with so much to offer?

Membership is less than bottle of beer a week and that often includes a few events and meals. Can’t say fairer than that!

I would not be comfortable joining an organisation where you have to wear stripy jackets and regalia.

There’s no Round Table “uniform”. Some tables choose to wear regalia and jackets for very formal events, but each club can decide how formal or informal they want to be. It’s up to the members, so the key is finding a club that fits your needs.

I think that an all male organisation is inappropriate in this day and age; I like to do things that also involve my partner and children.

Local Round Tables often do many events that involve partners, kids and the wider family. Like before, it’s a case of finding a club that fits your lifestyle, and if your wife or partner is interested in getting involved, we have a sister organisation called Ladies Circle."

http://www.rt55.co.uk/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=49&Itemid=56

In order to clarify the use of English above, here is a dictionary definition:
"A sister organization is an agency or body which is nearly or completely dependent upon another organization to exist. Sister organizations may exist in several different fields from business, government, law enforcement, and within the military."
 
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Anyone who has followed this thread in any way recently will be aware a few ideas have been thrown up concerning various matters, you could perhaps lump under the heading "our responsibilties towards our fellow men, (/women)".

Common terminology for this is possibly, "Am I my brother's keeper?" (Quote: "By being your 'bother's/sister's keeper' you are taking a responsibility in their life").

I guess when you approach a court when you wish to assert some right or other, you hope or have some faith at least in a system whereby whoever hears the case, will try to weigh the evidence fairly. This maybe involves a level of others, or those in position of responsibility trying to act as someone's keeper(?)

I'm not sure whether I'll change my behaviour because I've been challenged as to whether I'd intervene to help another being abused or assaulted, (I hope I'd try to say something if I thought it might help I guess, though whether I'd go further I'm not sure to say put myself in peril, but I would certainly inform the authorities in a serious case)?
 
StarSong said:
Gee, Graham, it's a complete surprise that women aren't lined up at your doorstep, pandemic or no pandemic.
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How do you know they are not, (are you having me watched......lockdown paranoia setting in again), and in any case I wouldn't know what to do with one these days, "whether she's got good pins or not", (btw glad you could take the joke, not mine but posted by a US friend of mine from "elsewhere", and I found it too funny not to share here :);):whistle: ).
 
I did take some ballroom dance lessons because it’s the only time I can approach a woman I don’t know, take her in my arms, tell her what to do, and she is more than happy to comply. So I guess they want to dance.
 
This is the problem...men think we all want the same things. However that is not true. I would think by now after billions of years they'd know that we are fickle creatures and tough to figure out. The best way would be to ask the one you're interested in...say hey what is it you want? Most women would tell you I would think. Unless they're feeling particularly cruel and want to make you figure it out for yourself.
 
MarciKS said:
This is the problem...men think we all want the same things. However that is not true. I would think by now after billions of years they'd know that we are fickle creatures and tough to figure out. The best way would be to ask the one you're interested in...say hey what is it you want? Most women would tell you I would think. Unless they're feeling particularly cruel and want to make you figure it out for yourself.
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Fickle you say, and yet an open book to another woman or your good self you suggest(?). :)
 
Brookswood said:
I did take some ballroom dance lessons because it’s the only time I can approach a woman I don’t know, take her in my arms, tell her what to do, and she is more than happy to comply. So I guess they want to dance.
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Old time ballroom dancing does have much to commend it, though as far as who is in control sometimes, when I don't know the steps for example, I'm relieved when they fill in my lack of knowledge by telling me what I should be doing.
In salsa dancing classes however, the instructors sometimes ask the men to try to take the woman's role, and be lead by his partner. I admit I find it almost impossible to be lead anywhere, and that is ironic really, as I'm sure I'm not the "one in a 100 men who is a leader, (of men), but one of the 99 who is a follower of women"! :)
 
MarciKS said:
say what? let's pretend you live in the usa graham...give it to me in english instead of this romeo and juliet shakespearian speak.
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I'll give it a go, in ma best imtation aw midwest merican! :)
Ya thunk us dollards aint no clue as ti wots in wimins minds!
Ah reckin yous exaggeratin an dumb as a mule as with might be wi nows thas down reet ornerie soma da time.
(how did I do??)
 
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