What kind of final resting place, if any, do you want?

My will specifies that I be cremated. This is fine with the family, but the obvious and immediately asked question is, "What should be done with the ashes?"

Since I will (hopefully) be dead both before and after cremation, I couldn't care less about where my ashes go. My standard answer is, "Nearest dumpster." Naturally, this upsets some people, particularly those who have a shelf full of little earns containing the ashes of every cat and dog they ever owned. But the executor just said, "Well, that's easy."
 
I'll be buried next to my husband, tombstone already in place in our family plot in a little country cemetery about 5 miles from where I live. I really do not want a funeral with an open casket or a lot of hoopla, thinking of having just graveside service...I will take care of all this soon.
 
I don’t want a service at all really. Maybe graveside only for any family that’s still around. I’ve mentioned cremation but my older relatives have a fit about that idea. I have no children or husband so I thought about buying the plot beside my parents but $5000 seems a bit expensive. My brother and a number of other relatives are buried in a small country cemetery and because I have relatives there the plot cost is only $400. I’ll probably end up there. I laughed about the people who have multiple boxes with pet ashes (raises hand). I wonder if they can be tucked into my casket and we can spend eternity forever?
 
I plan to be cremated, and my ashes scattered either one or two places. If I predecease my wife, I want them scattered where I scattered my late wife's at sea. If I out live my wife, I want them divided and scattered at the 2 places at sea.
There is a family plot back in New Jersey, that I have no interest in being interred.
 
I decided to donate my corpse to the local medical university. I found out they actually prefer broken down and/or disease-ridden bodies over healthy (but dead) ones. So I filled out the donor form just last month. If my donation is accepted, the university will send me this really cool looking acceptance award, and they'll email a copy to my oldest son.

They're way behind on Acceptances because there was a moratorium on body donations during the pandemic. But I'm not in any rush.
 
I arranged to have a "Green Burial". I will be wrapped in a cloth and lowered into a grave and then covered up. I will be in a Missouri forest buried along with the blacks and poor folks, some from 100 years ago. My atoms will mix with the earth and become something that will continue on, plus I will have a great view of a beautiful valley. :)

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cremated. No public service. I hate seeing people I loved dolled up in open caskets. Nightmarish! Horrible when I had to arrange this for both parents 6 months apart, when I was only 26. But It was what I knew they would have wanted.
I told DD to send my ashes out of state, anywhere, because I really don’t like it here and don’t want to spend eternity here. She offered to put me up on the high shelf with their old dogs & a cat, and that would be ok.
 
One money saving tip I learned was that I did not need to purchase a burial plot.

I was able to save approx. $3,000.00 by choosing to be buried in an existing family plot surrounded by the people that raised and cared for me.

The only cost to me was a small stone marker that is flush with the ground and the cost of burying my ashes. The purchase of a stone marker was not a requirement.

I did have to provide a family tree that showed how many surviving members would have a similar or prior claim for a spot in the family plot. In my case that was my grandparents surviving children and their children.

The policy varies, but it is worth exploring.
 
NorthernLight said:
Often, one's final instructions are problematic or distasteful to those left behind. So I leave it up to them to decide. I won't be there anyway.
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This is very true.

Friends just drove for most of a day to participate in a memorial for a good friend and then two overnight stays before the return trip. The spreading of ashes was down a dangerous, dusty forest service road and the drive was 1.5 hours each way. It was a beautiful spot when they arrived there. They had made the decision for this spot when they first saw it years ago and had it put into the wills. The remaining spouse is changing the will after realizing this had been a spontaneous, bad decision long ago.
 
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