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feywon, you thought my response to Phoenix was somewhat defensive? ouch.
I thought I was very polite toward her warnings of "being disrespectful" and "debates are no good" in an otherwise friendly discussion that we were all enjoying. She only posted once in the whole thread and it wasn't about believing in the afterlife. 99 civil on-topic friendly posts and then hers. I thought I responded with kindness and self-control, considering.
This is why you don't find many Christians in religious threads. They don't find it worth it to be thick skinned against accusations like being defensive. Like another member said recently as he left the forum...It was fun, until it wasn't.
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I don't know either of you very well. You may have had tense exchanges i'm unaware of...so i could be wrong about how i perceived both sets of remarks. i had no intention to offend you. i do feel you were absolutely right in pointing out that you, like most of us, were answering the question in the title not being disrespectful of others views just presenting your own.
But i constantly have to remind myself that many if not most people are less careful with their words than i strive to be. She could have meant 'We all, me included, need to respect other's views.' And phased it carelessly.
Personally i took more issue with her 'no point in debating' remark. If that's how one feels why comment on threads like this at all?
I have been blatantly criticized and chastised, lectured to by mamy people on line, because i have some 'out there' veiws and many times i'm caught in the middle between people at odds with each other, and being fussed at by both, because i can see more than one side to most everything.
Where i'm fortunate is, my upbringing and experiences help me to not take things personal In most cases even they are intended to be because unless i know the person well and have a deep respect for them (which takes time) their feelings toward and opinions of me simply do not impact how i feel about myself. Everyone gets baseline, fellow human respect from me for starters but over time that can increase or decrease. Even if it decreases i can still be civil to them.
Just a couple of days ago i had a contentious exchange with a pompous man on another thread, who tried to intimidate me. After making it clear he could not i put him on what i call 'mental ignore'. Life is too short especially at this end of it to allow random strangers in cyberspace to impact one's state and peace of mind.