What were you most unprepared for when you got older ?

MarkinPhx said:
i was unprepared for the loss of people close in my life. The stark reality is that I probably will not develop close friendships that took years to develop at this point in my life so when I do lose a long time close friend I feel like a part of my life has also went away.
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Very true for most unfortunately. I read an article the other day that said "Oh, you want to make sure that you have friends when you're old? Here's the best way to do that: get in a time machine, go back in time to when you were a kid (preferably before the age of 8), if you didn't have any friends back then the first time, make sure you make them this time, and never, ever move away from that area and don't let any of them move either. And that's the only way to have friends in your old age."
 

I have had so many surgeries that my birthday suit looks like a patchwork quilt, but none of that is a problem.

My wife of 63 years has been in a nursing home for more than a year and a half. I go to visit every day, but it is not the same as having her here in the condo.
 

officerripley said:
If you lived here in the U.S., you'd have to be financially prepared for that also...very well financially prepared.
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Yes Ripley, I am financially prepared for that too. Between my superannuation income, a (means tested) part commonwealth old age pension, and subsidised care fees I will have no problem finding a place.

Age care facilities receive commonwealth money too and even an old person with no assets who is entirely dependent on the age pension can find a bed when then need it. My maiden aunt was one of these people. She was allowed to keep 15% of her pension for her personal needs as well as the small amount in her savings account. She received the same care as everyone else.

Socialism has its advantages.
 
HoneyNut said:
Even ten years ago less than 7% of retired people had all three of those income streams, and I'd think it is less and less each year. 40% were living on only Social Security. None of the companies I worked for provided pension plans, though one had that up until the year before I started there.

Once for three years I had no match at all for 401k contributions, and then at a few times in my career the match was only at 2%. I don't think I ever had a chance for a 6% match, though I did have 3% and 4% matches sometimes. Though I use the term 'match' loosely because the companies weren't matching dollar for dollar, it was on a tier basis, they'd match the first one percent but then the employee had to contribute a couple percent to get the next one percent. I think it topped off if the employee put in 6% of their money the company would put in a total of 3%.

I think union employees and probably government employees are the people who would be lucky enough to get all three types of income.
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In the Marines, we had a plan similar to the 401(k), but not exactly the same rules. I saved as much as I could during my 30 years. If I would have lived on base all 30 years, I would have been better off, but there were decent benefits to living off base, including privacy. I receive a check from my retirement, social security and my federal savings plan. All direct deposit.
 
Gary O' said:
Heh, turning 50 is a hurdle
...especially when it's yer kid
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My 4 daughters are now in their 40's (40-48). When my youngest turned 40 in September, she just needed her dad (me) to come over and take her out to dinner--not her husband or kids.
My grandkids are between 2 and 12, but my 2 older sisters had great grandkids. One of my sisters helps out at her great grandson's nursery school--but she tells anybody who asks that she is the grandmother (not the great grandmother).
 
I was unprepared for people who don't seem to age. Everyone's different, I guess. But I've come across a lot of 70 something women who could pass for 59.

And the whole dating thing. I guess I thought I wouldn't have any s**ual desire in my old age, but I do, lol.

And, to top it all off, I find women my age (some) to be very attractive. I thought that would not be the case, for some reason.
 
The problem I have is with tech references that I simply don't understand. I have never used Twitter, for instance, so I am in the dark about why Elon Musk and his business dealings are so important, or why I should waste any time reading about them. I have no idea what TikTok is. I don't recognize the names of many of the pop music stars, and hardly any of the athletes. But so what? These changes are new to everyone, regardless of age, income, or anything else. We all have to adapt.

More than the language, the things I didn't expect are the zingers that came out of the blue, such as mobs storming the Capitol, the blind hero worship given to undeserving political figures, the vulgar turn our language has taken, a Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade after all these years, and most incredibly, Holocaust deniers and xenophobes. I guess I expected things to improve, not go downhill.

It's not all downhill, of course. I grew up in a world where they used to believe that a Catholic could never be elected president, until Kennedy came along. And a Black president? Must be some kind of a joke. So some of the unexpected developments were good ones.

I more or less expected my physical strength and speed to slow down, but I'm still in pretty good shape. And I never expected to have two incredibly adorable great-grandkids, Never thought that far ahead; I doubt that anybody does. But life happens, and change happens, both good and bad, and we have to roll with the punches, and enjoy the good parts.
 
Manatee said:
I have had so many surgeries that my birthday suit looks like a patchwork quilt, but none of that is a problem.

My wife of 63 years has been in a nursing home for more than a year and a half. I go to visit every day, but it is not the same as having her here in the condo.
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I say that I look like the Bride of Frankenstein because of all my scars. With everything I’ve had removed you would think that I would weigh less. 🤣 But I think I’m still in pretty good shape for being 65. Just keep on moving. 😊
 
RandomName said:
I was unprepared for people who don't seem to age. Everyone's different, I guess. But I've come across a lot of 70 something women who could pass for 59.

And the whole dating thing. I guess I thought I wouldn't have any s**ual desire in my old age, but I do, lol.

And, to top it all off, I find women my age (some) to be very attractive. I thought that would not be the case, for some reason.
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Well of course a lot of it is down to surgery or botox and fillers.. but on that subject I too never expected the average person to look like film stars in their old age.. I pretty much expected everyone to turn into a Blue haired.. ( sorry @Georgiagranny ).. old biddy wearing a pinny, and going on coach trip.. as my granny did... and everybody else when they got old... never thought that even without botox et al... that people would look so young for their ages compared to 50 years ago
 
hollydolly said:
Well of course a lot of it is down to surgery or botox and fillers.. but on that subject I too never expected the average person to look like film stars in their old age.. I pretty much expected everyone to turn into a Blue haired.. ( sorry @Georgiagranny ).. old biddy wearing a pinny, and going on coach trip.. as my granny did... and everybody else when they got old... never thought that even without botox et al... that people would look so young for their ages compared to 50 years ago
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Yea maybe women do look younger now than those of my grandparents' generation. BUT I don't think that is true of men. I look into the mirror and I see my maternal grandfather looking back at me!
 
spectratg said:
Yea maybe women do look younger now than those of my grandparents' generation. BUT I don't think that is true of men. I look into the mirror and I see my maternal grandfather looking back at me!
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actually you may well be right with regard to men.. altho' the younger generation now really look after themselves.. skin, exercise, hair etc.. so maybe by the time they get old, the men will have caught up... :LOL:
 
So far I have had no big surprises. I can't walk as far as I once did, but I was prepared for that and had anticipated it. I still hike everyday, but it's always under three miles, even though it's trail hiking with some long climbs now and then, but I also know that this won't be forever. I don't know if I'll die at home in bed, or after some long battle with something or other in an old people's home. I'll just take it as it comes. Maybe there will be some surprises down the road.
 
How difficult it was to save a decent amount of money each month, even with a fair-paying job. It helped to
have good benefits through work (govt.) .. tried sharing digs, but that didn't work out very well. Roomie
left to live with boyfriend, and left me to pay for a 2 bdrm. I couldn't afford :mad:
 

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