When to stop buying presents for grandchildren

I buy for all the grandkids until they are 18 ( 15 of them )......
Then start buying for the great grandkids,
Not to say I don’t treat them, when they pop up to visit us , or go on holiday etc etc...😊
 

I was just thinking after reading this again. I have 3 grandchildren and I buy them gifts for every occasion. One is 24 one is 22 and one is 10 years old. I don't think I will ever stop. The 2 older ones have girlfriends and I buy gifts for them also. When I am buying the gifts I think of when I was young. My Mom's mother passed away when I was 5yrs old and my Dad's family hated my Mother so we never got a Christmas gift from her either. We would just sit there and watch her give all the other grandchildren gifts but not me or my sister. I would never want my grandchildren to go through that. In my eyes they are perfect and I get joy out of buying them gifts.
 
Sassycakes said:
I was just thinking after reading this again. I have 3 grandchildren and I buy them gifts for every occasion. One is 24 one is 22 and one is 10 years old. I don't think I will ever stop. The 2 older ones have girlfriends and I buy gifts for them also. When I am buying the gifts I think of when I was young. My Mom's mother passed away when I was 5yrs old and my Dad's family hated my Mother so we never got a Christmas gift from her either. We would just sit there and watch her give all the other grandchildren gifts but not me or my sister. I would never want my grandchildren to go through that. In my eyes they are perfect and I get joy out of buying them gifts.
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You are not alone in this. My husband’s family never bought our kids anything. My brother gave us 100 to spend on the kids every Christmas and made it clear that he resented doing so. His wife made him, he made that clear also.

First thing I did when I got a job, send him checks to pay him back. He cashed the checks. They were rich, but he cashed those checks.
 

I'm just coming up on this situation. My son's 5 children have birthdays are coming up very soon and are within 3 weeks of each other. The two oldest (31 & 26) have received the money from the trust accounts I opened for them, so I know they are not expecting anymore gifts from me. The middle son (23) doesn't know he's got trust money coming but no matter. Once they reach adulthood and/or start working, I do not feel obligated to give them gifts I will give birthday gifts to the two youngest, one will be 18 tomorrow, the other will be 16. I just bought cards for all my grandchildren. The three oldest will just get cards with loving notes.

Due to the circumstances you described, I don't feel it's necessary for you to give them gifts.
 
OneEyedDiva said:
I'm just coming up on this situation. My son's 5 children have birthdays are coming up very soon and are within 3 weeks of each other. The two oldest (31 & 26) have received the money from the trust accounts I opened for them, so I know they are not expecting anymore gifts from me. The middle son (23) doesn't know he's got trust money coming but no matter. Once they reach adulthood and/or start working, I do not feel obligated to give them gifts I will give birthday gifts to the two youngest, one will be 18 tomorrow, the other will be 16. I just bought cards for all my grandchildren. The three oldest will just get cards with loving notes.

Due to the circumstances you described, I don't feel it's necessary for you to give them gifts.
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I send them all small gift cards, although they all have more money than we do (except the greats who are young). Who doesn’t like a gift card no matter how small, five dollars buys a drink or burger, makes the recipient feel special.
 
we have 12 and stopped getting toys around age 11. from then on cash that equals there age for birthdays. our oldest are turning 21 this year and it might be the end. for Christmas we get small gifts and 50 dollars each. my wife like to get a tree ornament that represents something in their life or what is going on that year. on the other hand like Murrmurr said, sell a little something pick it up, take them out to supper now and again. they all come and visit and love to play games with us, (card) but with three turning 21 this year and 3 turning 19 and one just turned 17, they all have jobs and visits are a little less and less.
 
Matilda's dress 001.JPG
This lovely dress my wife made for my niece's daughter, her first baby.
She's one year old and because of the pandemic we have only seen photos.
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The little fellow that this was made for is the son of our God-son.
It's their first born too. He's another pandemic, photos only at present.
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That God-son has a sister, our God-daughter, her two boys we saw as babies.
My wife has kept herself busy during the lockdown. The babies look fabulous.
I'll ask the parents permission and see if I can't post a photo of the babies posing.
 
My husband and I are going to have to make a decision about gift giving. We aren't making the money we once were while both were employed. Sure, we have a savings, etc. but we don't touch that as we don't know when we'll be needing that.

We buy gifts for the great nephews, great nieces and of course, his grandson. I sneak some inexpensive gifts to my sister.

Kindness and giving are life enhancing qualities that I've had for many years. I've been this way since I was 17 ~ working a part-time job while a senior in high school.

I don't think I can stop giving to the two youngest; they are so special to us. Our recent high school graduate (great nephew) will be receiving some money from us to help him thru college and that will probably be his last 'gift' from us. We still have his brother to gift ~ he's a senior in high school now.
 
Don M. said:
If they can't even make a phone call, perhaps it's time to just send a card, and nothing else.

As our family has grown, buying gifts at Christmas was becoming in increasing hassle. We hit on a good formula a few years ago...at one of the daughters suggestion. Now, we all get together over Thanksgiving, and everyone writes down a gift choice on a slip of paper...with a $25 limit. Then, we draw one name out of a hat, and buy One gift for the person we chose. We also buy one guy or gal thing, and have a blind drawing for that gift. Now, the only real gift shopping is for the little Great Grandkids, and the parents usually have a carload of toys to take home. It's become a pretty good tradition that seems to work well for everyone.
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Very simple and very easy. We've been handling our Christmas gifts in a similar manner for years.

Entering the attitudes of the family members is a separate situation. These kids and grandkids have been brought up and their attitudes have been formed by the older family members who preceded them.
 
My wife still gives to the grandchildren even though I object to giving to the children that are older and earning a living. We still have two sixteen year olds, but the other three are doing well. I keep telling her that they will get theirs later after grandma and grandpa have gone, but she enjoys giving and believe me, they enjoy receiving.
 
I really don't enjoy buying gifts and the thank you nowadays is sitting through watching the kid open his/her gifts or their mom doing so. If you don't attend the party, no thank you for you, because you really don't deserve one blah. Seriously.
 
My two grandsons are still very young. 11 and 13,so I give them gifts. My daughter picks out several choices of items they are interested in and I decide what I want to get for them.
They are very appreciative and thank me when they receive the gift and usually when we leave for home.
Depending on my financial situation I will continue to give them a gift. Hopefully they will have hobbies and interests that I can contribute a little something to.
 
Ungrateful grandsons discussion here...............I have been very sad for so long, so letdown for so many years, feel I have been made a fool of. I have been dealing with 4 of the most ungrateful Grandsons who have ever walked this earth. They have never ever once said 'thank you' for presents. I have bought them all many nice expensive gifts all their lives for Xmas and birthdays with no acknowledgement and never a simple 'Thank you". They never told me they liked the things I got them, they unwrap their presents then leave the room, leaving those presents on the floor. After age 13, I started sending them birthday cards and tucked in a $20 dollar bill and as usual they don't acknowledge it or say thank you. I am not very well off, am on social security so my funds are very limited.

The boys are now 22, 19, 16 and 15. They never call, come over, wish me happy birthday, have never told me they love me, have never reached out to me, absolutely nothing! I've helped 1 of them financially (at his mother's request) when he totaled his car and was saving for a new one. I gave him $600 cash and again, no acknowledgement or verbal thank you. So decided just today, I am a fool for carrying on this gift giving.

They don't show any appreciation. ......So......a big change will be happening this coming Xmas. No more wasted money, I will not be buying them anything. The older ones have girlfriends and 1 of the girl is pregnant with my first great grandbaby of which I spent well over $200 at a baby shower recently. This is an unexpected surprise pregnancy and they are just starting out. Neither my grandson nor his girlfriend thanked me! Xmas 2021 will be more relaxing and different for me. The boys might get a tin of cookies or chex mix!

I'll actually have extra money to spend on my 2 youngest grand daughters ages 9 and 3 who absolutely are the sweetest of all, tell me all the time how much they love me. I see them alot. I babysit them 4 days a week. They are the light of my life.
 
SRB in CO said:
Ungrateful grandsons discussion here...............I have been very sad for so long, so letdown for so many years, feel I have been made a fool of. I have been dealing with 4 of the most ungrateful Grandsons who have ever walked this earth. They have never ever once said 'thank you' for presents. I have bought them all many nice expensive gifts all their lives for Xmas and birthdays with no acknowledgement and never a simple 'Thank you". They never told me they liked the things I got them, they unwrap their presents then leave the room, leaving those presents on the floor. After age 13, I started sending them birthday cards and tucked in a $20 dollar bill and as usual they dont acknowledge it or say thank you. I am not very well off, am on social security so my funds are very limited. The boys are now 22, 19, 16 and 15. They never call, come over, wish me happy birthday, have never told me they love me, have never reached out to me, absolutely nothing! I've helped 1 of them financially (at his mother's request) when he totaled his car and was saving for a new one. I gave him $600 cash and again, no acknowledgement or verbal thank you. So decided just today, I am a fool for carrying on this gift giving. They dont show any appreciation. ......So......a big change will be happening this coming Xmas. No more wasted money, I will not be buying them anything. The older ones have girlfriends and 1 of the girl is pregnant with my first great grandbaby of which I spent well over $200 at a baby shower recently. This is an unexpected surprise pregnancy and they are just starting out. Neither my grandson nor his girlfriend thanked me! Xmas 2021 will be more relaxing and different for me. The boys might get a tin of cookies or chex mix!


I'll actually have extra money to spend on my 2 youngest grand daughters ages 9 and 3 who absolutely are the sweetest of all, tell me all the time how much they love me. I see them alot. I babysit them 4 days a week. They are the light of my life.
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Very good plan. I am doing the same here. One "grand" never thanks me for the gift cards I send but she uses them!. I am going to send her a Christmas card this year but no gift card. The others will get Amazon cards which they want and they always call to say thank you and tell me what they bought with them.
 
SRB in CO said:
Ungrateful grandsons discussion here...............I have been very sad for so long, so letdown for so many years, feel I have been made a fool of. I have been dealing with 4 of the most ungrateful Grandsons who have ever walked this earth. They have never ever once said 'thank you' for presents. I have bought them all many nice expensive gifts all their lives for Xmas and birthdays with no acknowledgement and never a simple 'Thank you". They never told me they liked the things I got them, they unwrap their presents then leave the room, leaving those presents on the floor. After age 13, I started sending them birthday cards and tucked in a $20 dollar bill and as usual they dont acknowledge it or say thank you. I am not very well off, am on social security so my funds are very limited. The boys are now 22, 19, 16 and 15. They never call, come over, wish me happy birthday, have never told me they love me, have never reached out to me, absolutely nothing! I've helped 1 of them financially (at his mother's request) when he totaled his car and was saving for a new one. I gave him $600 cash and again, no acknowledgement or verbal thank you. So decided just today, I am a fool for carrying on this gift giving. They dont show any appreciation. ......So......a big change will be happening this coming Xmas. No more wasted money, I will not be buying them anything. The older ones have girlfriends and 1 of the girl is pregnant with my first great grandbaby of which I spent well over $200 at a baby shower recently. This is an unexpected surprise pregnancy and they are just starting out. Neither my grandson nor his girlfriend thanked me! Xmas 2021 will be more relaxing and different for me. The boys might get a tin of cookies or chex mix!


I'll actually have extra money to spend on my 2 youngest grand daughters ages 9 and 3 who absolutely are the sweetest of all, tell me all the time how much they love me. I see them alot. I babysit them 4 days a week. They are the light of my life.
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Same story, I have 2 totally ungrateful granddaughters,20 and 12.
Have never received a Thank you for gifts so stick a fork in me, I'm done!
 
Don't start buying and then you wouldn't have to stop. Nothing worse than some kid(s) with about 25 toys on the floor and just opening present after present and throwing them back on the floor. I have seen it happen more than once. What kind of values is he being taught? There is something wrong with our society when people are maxed out on their credit cards by over spending at Christmas time. People are important; not things. Anyway, Santa is a myth used by stores and your credit card companies to stress you out by taking almost all of your money. Yes, I have heard about the original St. Nick that lived in what is now Turkey during the 3rd or 4th century. Sorry to have to tell you that the fat, jolly guy with the red suit and while beard was invented by the Coca Cola company.
 

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