When You Chose Your Mate For Marriage Was There Someone Else You Considered?

fmdog44

fmdog44

Well-known Member
Location
Houston, Texas
Was there someone that had a place in your heart despite your choice to marry the person you chose?
 

My wife knows that she was not my first choice and maybe I wasn't hers either. She never mentioned anything about it. My first choice was my high school sweetheart, but when I got into trouble for a few years while in high school, her parents threw me under the bus and I wasn't even allowed to step on their property. Her dad told me if I came near their home, he would squash me like a bug. I was taller than him, but he was a mason and had arms like tree stumps, so I took him serious.
 
For my first marriage yes, but I had a flawed and skewed view of myself, relationships, love and marriage at the time. Back then I didn't really know how one should decide who to marry. There were definitely women I knew who I would have preferred marrying but I wasn't in a relationship with any of them or they were already involved with others so they weren't "available" for marriage. Interestingly enough I had my one and only panic attack a few months before getting married where I think my mind was telling me not to get married. However I didn't listen to it and went ahead with getting married anyway.

For my second marriage no because I didn't have anyone in particular I knew who I was interested in marrying, but I did knew there were some things missing from our relationship that I valued in another relationship. I have no regrets about choosing my second wife and know I did so taking the things that were missing for me into account before asking her to marry me. I also know now that love her very much and I choose to be married to her even though I've experienced a relationship that was better. I never bring it up and never try to change her to get what I want. I accept my wife for who she is and we do work on things to improve our marriage but I also recognize she is different than my other love and will never be able to provide what I'm missing.
 
Yes I considered someone else. Thankfully he didn't feel the same. My husband was perfect because we made our perfect son together. Okay, not perfect for other folks but perfect for me! :love:
 
I learned a lot from each of my marriages. I learned a lot from each of my boyfriends. Some were nice and some were jerk, but all of it helped me learn and grow. That is the benefit of life in all its varieties. There is so much to learn, even from and/or especially from the painful difficult things.
 
Nope. My wife was my first real girlfriend. We were teen-agers , she very popular and me far less so. We dated for 2 years , were engaged for 6 months and then married.

Two and a half years was pretty common in the early 50's. It seems that today people tend to meet and marriage follows in short order. Easy to fake your personality for a short time but after a couple of years it's hard to keep up a facade of the nice guy or girl unless your partner and parents are truly dense. Of course in our modern world, parents don't really figure into the equation. In the old days, in many cases, you had to fool them as well. ☹️

Might make a difference in how the divorce rate has inclined as multiple marriages are becoming commonplace
 
I guess you could call me selfish ....I’m the youngest of two children 15 years apart ( oldest sister 80 next year ) I liked my space back then and I still like my space and independence now .

I’ve have long term partner who has his own residence it suits us both ..no children for either
 
I have only wanted to marry three women in my life. Two in my 20's. I married one of them. One in my senior bachelorhood. She left town to be closer to her children from her first two marriages so no marriage. Today, I simply want to make the best use of my remaining time on this planet. If marriage comes along, great. If not, great. Life is good.
 
I met my husband when I was 15 yrs old. He broke up with his girlfriend a few hours after we met. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years as soon as I got back home. We married when I was 20yrs old and I have never regretted it.
 

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