Why are some people so rude?

Sassycakes

Sassycakes

SF VIP
Location
Pennsylvania
I went to my Granddaughters dance competition this weekend. While I was sitting in the audience I was sitting next to a very rude person. She said nasty things about every kid dancing. She would even yell out rude remarks. while she was doing this no one asked her to leave or be quiet. First of all, there were some young dancers about 5 yrs old and she even critized their looks and dancing. She would even make fun of some of their weight. She was very lucky she didn't say anything nasty about my granddaughter. After sitting beside her for a short time I got up and walked away. How could anyone insult a child ? I watched the rest of the performances on a different row. I won't even tell you the curse words she yelled out when the kids were getting their rewards. I will never understand rude or critical remarks against children.
 

Sassycakes said:
I went to my Granddaughters dance competition this weekend. While I was sitting in the audience I was sitting next to a very rude person. She said nasty things about every kid dancing. She would even yell out rude remarks. while she was doing this no one asked her to leave or be quiet. First of all, there were some young dancers about 5 yrs old and she even critized their looks and dancing. She would even make fun of some of their weight. She was very lucky she didn't say anything nasty about my granddaughter. After sitting beside her for a short time I got up and walked away. How could anyone insult a child ? I watched the rest of the performances on a different row. I won't even tell you the curse words she yelled out when the kids were getting their rewards. I will never understand rude or critical remarks against children.
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some people are very damaged.
 
Someone in charge, a teacher or owner of the dance studio, should have asked her to leave. Little children should never be subjected to that sort of thing, particularly when they are in the frightening and vulnerable position of being on stage.
 
I've seen such people all my life from earliest years and avoid them. I expect to finish my life being able to brag I've never physically fought to hurt anyone. Always avoided fighting growing up. Males that enjoy physically fighting others, through neural plasticity, over time may develop an enjoyment of hurting others. Just because such people are nice or even love you as a mate does not guaranty they will be so when angry. A reason women need to be especially careful around some men. A couple good essay on motivations of sadists.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-harm-done/201812/what-drives-sadists-aggression
snippets:

...A series of studies from my lab that were published in the journal Aggressive Behavior replicated the finding that sadistic tendencies exist in many young adults. Now, what makes the prevalence of sadism especially problematic is something else we found — that sadistic individuals are remarkably vengeful and aggressive...
we just asked them how many physical fights they had ever been in. Across most of these manifestations, sadistic traits were linked to more aggressive behavior...
We also asked participants how they felt when they were being aggressive. As one might expect, sadists reported that they felt pleasure during the aggressive act. This sadistic pleasure appears to be a key mechanism underlying sadists' aggression and suggests that the joy of inflicting harm on others may motivate and reinforce sadistic tendencies...

https://www.tcd.ie/news_events/arti...yday-sadists-why-do-humans-harm-the-harmless/

...everyday sadists get pleasure from hurting others or watching their suffering. They are likely to enjoy gory films, find fights exciting and torture interesting. They are rare, but not rare enough. Around 6% of undergraduate students admit getting pleasure from hurting others...
The everyday sadist may be an internet troll or a school bully. In online role-playing games, they are likely to be the “griefer” who spoils the game for others. Everyday sadists are drawn to violent computer games. And the more they play, the more sadistic they become. [neural plasticity]
 
both my sons were in hockey and you want to hear rude....these people would yell and curse at the referees..who were but kids themselves...one yelled and swore at my son who was the referee at the time...well.enough about that....let us just say she sat far far away from me in the future...;);)
 
I honestly look at these people who do this sort of stuff and think what a very sad individual they are and what fools they are making of themselves. I think you did the correct thing in walking away and not confronting the person as they were making a spectacle of themselves and you didn't need to be any part of it. The sad thing is these children had to hear some of this nonsense, but hopefully the parents of these kids could explain to them that this is not the way to act at these sorts of things.
 
dseag2 said:
My theory is that some people are rude and criticize others due to their own lack of self-esteem. They somehow make themselves feel better by projecting their own insecurities on others. In any case, this woman's actions were inexcusable.
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You are probably right. My daughter sent me some pictures of the competition. Can you tell which girl she was making fun of in this picture? It's the girl on the end and the rude person kept calling her fatty.My granddaughter is under the number C.
IMG_5515 (1).jpg
 
Those kids all look amazing!

We haven't always been rude, at least not rude out loud and in public to boot. It seems that in the past five or so years, it's been acceptable to do and say outrageous things because that's what's been demonstrated by people who are at the forefront of the news. Add shortened tempers/patience and limited social interaction due to being cooped up since the pandemic started, and it's not too hard to understand why so many people have become outright boors.
 

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