Why women dread aging in America after hearing hateful comments about their older looking apperance I understand why

I know who I am and what I am and I am perfectly at peace with myself, and the world in general. This peace has only come as I have grown older and wiser. I have white hair, crepe paper skin is taking over and I am too fat for comfort but I don't care because as I look back over my life a I realise that I have always been loved, from the moment I was born until this day.

When I had my youth I worried about my skin, my figure, my hair and my teeth. The ideal women of those times were Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell Gina Bridita and Brigid Bardot. I looked like none of them but when I look back on old photos I had the bloom of youth and I had a generally pleasing appearance. At least my husband thought so.

As I have matured and aged he continues to appreciate me and our children and grandchildren don't care what we look like - they see below the surface to the core and they love us as we are.

I dress to please myself choosing colours that make me feel good and fabrics that feel good and are easy to wear. I learnt long ago to ignore beauty experts whose business model is to make us feel bad about ourselves.

We are all unique individuals and we shouldn't worry about trying to achieve perfection in the way we present ourselves.
Look around and you will see older people who are ravaged by disease and infirmity and be thankful for everything the you still have today because tomorrow may take if away. Sorry about the preaching post but I am Pollyanna, always looking for something to be thankful for.
 

win231 said:
When I see a woman with big fake breasts, I think of a cow that needs to be milked. It's hard for me to believe they actually think they look sexy.
And those women who get implants because they think their boyfriends will like them more? They're as stupid as their boyfriends.
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They certainly are. But you will never be able to convince them of that. It's too bad
 

Warrigal said:
I know who I am and what I am and I am perfectly at peace with myself, and the world in general. This peace has only come as I have grown older and wiser. I have white hair, crepe paper skin is taking over and I am too fat for comfort but I don't care because as I look back over my life a I realise that I have always been loved, from the moment I was born until this day.

When I had my youth I worried about my skin, my figure, my hair and my teeth. The ideal women of those times were Marilyn Monroe, Jane Russell Gina Bridita and Brigid Bardot. I looked like none of them but when I look back on old photos I had the bloom of youth and I had a generally pleasing appearance. At least my husband thought so.

As I have matured and aged he continues to appreciate me and our children and grandchildren don't care what we look like - they see below the surface to the core and they love us as we are.

I dress to please myself choosing colours that make me feel good and fabrics that feel good and are easy to wear. I learnt long ago to ignore beauty experts whose business model is to make us feel bad about ourselves.

We are all unique individuals and we shouldn't worry about trying to achieve perfection in the way we present ourselves.
Look around and you will see older people who are ravaged by disease and infirmity and be thankful for everything the you still have today
because tomorrow may take if away. Sorry about the preaching post but I am Pollyanna, always looking for something to be thankful for.
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Don't tell me you are on chairman board at the Dove Soap Company. Remember their advertising campaign a few years ago to teach women to feel good about themselves no matter what body shape they had. Feel good about the natural aging aspects of yourself and see the beauty of women in all ages shapes and forms. Stay secure and beautiful forever

 
I ‘m 73 and male. I love women my age and older, much older. I love the softness of wrinkled skin, a soft belly and things droopy. I don’t know whether I really like those things or just realize that’s what’s available. A friend says he has a natural cure for his chronic dry eyes, he just looks at his wife’s butt and the tears start flowing 😀
 
I must be the odd one.
I like 'older' wimin
I've always liked older wimin

I got intro'd to extreme frolicking by a woman damn near twice my age

'Older' wimin have some sorta confident mystique that drives me wild
Always has

My high school English teacher was no exception
The only class I didn't have to fantasize
Miss Dickerson
Tidy, proper lady
Bet she was torrid when she let her hair down

You go, ol' gals

Y'all got this
 
I think there is clearly a difference between striving to make the best of one's looks (at any age) and using age as an excuse to let oneself go or to go to extreme lengths to deny aging. I believe most of us do what we can to look as best we can (without resorting to impossible standards), but there are some who seem to either give up completely or who go to such ridiculous lengths to "look younger" that they appear almost like caricatures. I don't care how old someone is, what makes them truly beautiful in my eyes is a genuine, heartfelt smile.
 
You all may be curious of why I am so emotional about this issue. I is because the ladies are exactly like the description in your post. You know the ones who let themselves go. They give up and don't even try. I think I know why. It's because when they may have taken care of their appearance younger people especially younger girls jump on attack them by saying negative things like look at her she is trying to be young like one of us!

This is big problem how younger ladies over react to attractive well groomed older ladies. They don't do it quietly often these girls try to publicly shame older women. So often maybe our sisters get tired of all the flax and BS and give up the fight to stay lovely.


I remember a few ago one of my co-workers a lady in my same age group asked why I came to work wearing lipstick and face powder. And she asked do you think a young boy is going to notice you? I was surprised but I didn't let her negativity stop me from wearing cosmetics, I have worn makeup since I was 19 and I don't intend to stop using it on my face.

I was told 3 years ago I didn't have good sense because I was wearing "muted red lipstick" by a male nearly my same age. It wasn't even applied in a heavy manner this guy felt at my age my face should be striped of make-up. He also accused me of trying to act like a young girl. No, I didn't stop wearing makeup either.

Once you hit 40 and over in our culture you began to swim upstream and battle the currents especially when you Don't act the way people think you should because you are "older"
 
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Barneyhill said:
You all may be curious of why I am so emotional about this issue. I is because the ladies are exactly like the description in your post. You know the ones who let themselves go. They give up and don't even try. I think I know why. It's because when they may have taken care of their appearance younger people especially younger girls jump on attack them by saying negative things like look at her she is trying to be young like one of us!

This is big problem how younger ladies over react to attractive well groomed older ladies. They don't do it quietly often these girls try to publicly shame older women. So often maybe our sisters get tired of all the flax and BS and give up the fight to stay lovely.


I remember a few ago one of my co-workers a lady in my same age group asked why I came to work wearing lipstick and face powder. And she asked do you think a young boy is going to notice you? I was surprised but I didn't let her negativity stop me from wearing cosmetics, I have worn makeup since I was 19 and I don't intend to stop using it on my face.

I was told 3 years ago I didn't have good sense because I was wearing "muted red lipstick" by a male nearly my same age. It wasn't even applied in a heavy manner this guy felt at my age my face should be striped of make-up. He also accused me of trying to act like a young girl. No, I didn't stop wearing makeup either.

Once you hit 40 and over in our culture you began to swim upstream and battle the currents especially when you Don't act the way people think you should because you are "older"
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@Barneyhill, Good for you!!!! I lost a friend of 30 years in 2018 because she was so upset that I wear lipstick and exercise and keep in shape that she felt it "her duty" to tell me that the other women in her group didn't like me because they perceived me as a threat. WUT? A threat to what? I didn't know any of them, so I'm not sure how I could possibly have threatened any of them for any reason (we haven't lived in the same place for the past many years). Long story short, she got very angry because I wouldn't "dress down" and "stop wearing makeup." My conclusion is this: real women friends do not demand that one another give up parts of themselves that are important (such as looking nice and staying in shape).

Now, as to younger women making remarks, that is simply ridiculous as we all age and aging does NOT take away our desire and need to feel attractive to other people. I have never had a negative experience with a young woman regarding my looks. I've been very blessed, I suppose, in that they are mostly just very complimentary.

Now, as to the fellow who made the disparaging remarks, I would have smiled and said: well now, you seem to think I care what you think. I don't. I dress and groom myself to please me, not you.

People who try to shame others into changing some behavior are merely bullies. If they have a legitimate complaint, then state it and stop with the shaming. For example, if my lipstick is smeared or on my teeth, or if someone asks whether I like one look more than another, I will be honest. However, unsolicited "advice" on a person's looks is not welcome. If I can give a compliment, I will. If I can't, there is no reason to be mean.

Ha, ha to the comment about younger guys. I'm sorry, but so what if a younger guy finds us attractive??? I don't know a man alive who doesn't find younger women attractive - turnabout's fair play, eh? We all need a bit of admiration from time to time to make sure we still have a pulse (y)

I would hope that any of us at any age could acknowledge that beauty is in the eye of the beholder and is ageless. I've known beautiful people of 20 and beautiful people of 90. Geeesh, one age range does NOT have any human attribute locked up as their own (and I taught and still teach the sociology of aging, so I'm basing that statement on findings, not feelings).

P.S. I wear bright orange lipstick every single day because it brings out my blue eyes (but mostly because I LOVE it :p You go girl. . .wear the lipstick. . .claim your identity . . .and smile. As I tell my daughter: illegitimi non carborundum
 
Not too far OT , I hope......

In a supermarket, now a few years back I noticed people that seemed to be "looking". Then noticed it again, mostly men ? Didn't see the reason........then I did. A woman, not showing too much skin, but in a dress, very stylish , and just beautiful and !....not young. I'll guess her to be @ the time....mid 60s ? This was ten years or so ago, I was at about 60. She wore [without inspecting] :) little to no makeup, sort of high heel ? summer shoes....That's it, again, nothing really revealing , but just a beautiful face , and a fantastic figure. I mean people were enthralled , she was just that attention getting.

I'll be honest, one of the first things I "looked" at was third finger,left hand. There was a ring on it, so I behaved myself......dammit ! ;)
 
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Barneyhill said:
Yes I am female. I adopted Barney Hill because I am a huge fan of his. Yes I am a pancake chested female. And proud of it😙🤗
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Hmmm... I had to look up Barney Hill because I was unfamiliar with him. (I knew about Benny Hill, but not Barney.)

Wikipedia has this to say about him:
Barney and Betty Hill were an American couple who claimed they were abducted by extraterrestrials in a rural portion of the state of New Hampshire from September 19 to September 20, 1961. It was the first widely publicized report of an alien abduction in the United States.

@Barneyhill, he's sort of an interesting, obscure person to find compelling. What draws you to him? Had you met him, have a special interest in ETs, or is it something else?
 
I think it's a good idea at all stages of life that "you do you." I don't know why some people are so concerned with what other people think or say. If someone were to insult me, I'd either mark them off my "people to interact with" list or respond in such a way that guaranteed I'd be marked off theirs. Life is short, folks. Choose what's important...it's all small stuff.

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Gary O' said:
I must be the odd one.
I like 'older' wimin
I've always liked older wimin

I got intro'd to extreme frolicking by a woman damn near twice my age

'Older' wimin have some sorta confident mystique that drives me wild
Always has

My high school English teacher was no exception
The only class I didn't have to fantasize
Miss Dickerson
Tidy, proper lady
Bet she was torrid when she let her hair down

You go, ol' gals

Y'all got this
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Your English teacher expanded your horizons.
 
C'est Moi said:
Thanks for clarifying. I'd like to add that knowing you are female puts your posts in a different light. And I wasn't really interested in your pancakes but thanks for sharing.
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oh I know you wasn't interested in my pancakes I :p like to joke about myself a lot
 
C'est Moi said:
I think it's a good idea at all stages of life that "you do you." I don't know why some people are so concerned with what other people think or say. If someone were to insult me, I'd either mark them off my "people to interact with" list or respond in such a way that guaranteed I'd be marked off theirs. Life is short, folks. Choose what's important...it's all small stuff.

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Everyone can't be blessed with your I don't care bravo.
If more ladies were like you. I never would have come here to complain.
I can't believe all the down on themselves opinions I have heard from middle age ladies since I entered the stage of middle age
It's pretty bad!
 
Barneyhill said:
no not really if you think I am bad didn't you ever hear the late Joan rivers take off on herself.?She was a blast!
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No I don’t think you’re bad and yes I know of Joan Rivers. Not my type of comedian but she was funny. Sort of. Lol 🥺
I’m turning 60 in a month or so and I don’t feel bad about being my age. Life is only as fun as I make it and I make it fun.
 
C'est Moi said:
I think it's a good idea at all stages of life that "you do you." I don't know why some people are so concerned with what other people think or say. If someone were to insult me, I'd either mark them off my "people to interact with" list or respond in such a way that guaranteed I'd be marked off theirs. Life is short, folks. Choose what's important...it's all small stuff.

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Totally agree. Be the best you imaginable.
Be bold enough to be your authentic self without caring what others think.
57714DE9-0E7D-4AFC-BEC8-1067D9DC9A91.jpegE82A6C41-48AC-49D2-BCF0-17E7F0F5A9D3.jpegE8CC6BAC-F982-4317-8DDD-9B7F966F1D97.jpeg
 
Is that you, Keesha? Astoundingly beautiful & unique. Just like the persona you display in your writings. Thanks for this glimpse. Gorgeous!
 

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