Would you live with one or more of your adult children if you got old and alone?

RadishRose said:
I would but only if I was not dependant health-wise, and it was an"in-law"space.
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My daughter has zero patience except when it comes to her dogs and their health..... , it would be a bad idea if I lived in her house or attached property if I relied on her to help me with aspects of my heath... ..I'd rather be in assisted living if I needed any kind of nursing care
 
No, I am alone as far as that goes. My son is disabled and I look after him even though he does live on his own. There is no way I would consider living in his place and he could never care for me. He has lived with me on and off over the years, but I think we are done with that. I hope to stay where I am until I die.
 
Our oldest son told me I could have a room in his house.
Told him I'd like to try living on my own for awhile.

His house is a mess,, wondering if I'd become the "maid"?

Youngest son & his wife have not offered me to live with them.
Which is fine with me.
Daughter in law is high maintenance & I'm low level .

If & when I have to live alone, get so I can't care for myself will go into a 'home'.
 
StarSong said:
This question was posed in a game thread and it started me thinking.

I'd probably not share living quarters with one of my children, but if I were unable to live fully independently I could imagine paying for a granny-flat type place added to their property (one of my sons lives on 1/2 acre.

What about some of the rest of you? What would you do - or have you done?
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@StarSong I feel the same way although my daughter does not have enough property for a granny pod.
Their house could be renovated to add a small kitchen in the bottom floor. They already have a bathroom, shower and sitting room down there.
Another problem I have is that they don't seem to stay in one place all that long.
I can't imagine packing and repacking at my age and I certainly don't want to die in some far off place.

My daughter isn't bossy but has a tendency to inform me what is good for me and what is not.
The last thing I need is to go to Bingo or sing alongs.

I've been pretty much anti social my whole life and like it that way. I have no intention of being a social butterfly at my age.
If I want to rot in my recliner while looking at my photo albums, so be it.
 
No. When I go for holidays for a week, I’m at wits end and my tongue is bleeding from all the biting.

I’ve thought about it because of DH’s health issues. If he predeceases me, I’ll be moving back east near where they live. There’s nothing to keep me here. I absolutely hate the area they live in so would want to find a place in a reasonable sized city - whether an apartment or senior care home.
 
When my son was elementary school age, he Promised, a couple of times that I shouldn't ever worry about being old and broke, that I could Always have a cardboard box in his living room. I should have gotten him to sign a contract...............no, minors aren't bound to contracts. True story.
 
Pepper said:
When my son was elementary school age, he Promised, a couple of times that I shouldn't ever worry about being old and broke, that I could Always have a cardboard box in his living room. I should have gotten him to sign a contract...............no, minors aren't bound to contracts. True story.
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When my son was that age I asked him would he take care of me in my old age, he replied “can’t you get welfare?” I suppose I had to take him to the free clinic too many times.😳😂
 
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My kids both live in the Pacific northwest with its lousy climate and horrendous cost of living. My daughter is exploring retirement in a few years and coming back east. That would make a big difference.
 
StarSong said:
This question was posed in a game thread and it started me thinking.

I'd probably not share living quarters with one of my children, but if I were unable to live fully independently I could imagine paying for a granny-flat type place added to their property (one of my sons lives on 1/2 acre.

What about some of the rest of you? What would you do - or have you done?
Click to expand...
In many parts of the world, this is normal. Parents take care of their children (who are too young to take care of themselves) then later the children take care of their parents (who are too old to take care of themselves). After all, children grow up with their (too old to take care of themselves) grandparents in the house. In their philosophy, this is how life is meant to be ..... thanking their parents for all they have given them. It is very beautiful in a romantic sense. Don't you think so too? I mean, as long as it works well.
 
Verisure said:
In many parts of the world, this is normal. Parents take care of their children (who are too young to take care of themselves) then later the children take care of their parents (who are too old to take care of themselves). After all, children grow up with their (too old to take care of themselves) grandparents in the house. In their philosophy, this is how life is meant to be ..... thanking their parents for all they have given them. It is very beautiful in a romantic sense. Don't you think so too? I mean, as long as it works well.
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It might be normal and even offered by our children, but that doesn't mean either side would find it enjoyable or even palatable.

I'm very familiar with the pattern you describe. My grandmother was widowed at about age 45 and began living with our family almost immediately after that. She remained with us until she died about 25 years later. It went relatively smoothly, all things considered.

These days 45 is considered the prime of life.

When I was growing up many of my friends' grandparents lived with them. Some relationships went well, others were so obviously contentious that even as a youngster I was uncomfortable with the household tension and occasional sniping back and forth.
 
StarSong said:
This question was posed in a game thread and it started me thinking.

I'd probably not share living quarters with one of my children, but if I were unable to live fully independently I could imagine paying for a granny-flat type place added to their property (one of my sons lives on 1/2 acre.

What about some of the rest of you? What would you do - or have you done?
Click to expand...
After my husband passed and I decided to relocate to the Prairies, I stayed with my eldest daughter and her husband for four months until I decided and found the right abode...and I did. 'No rush', they said but 'the sooner the better' I thought, as totally not my 'plan'. I had so many lists going from arranging to have a holding tank set in the ground, connect to a well to a landline, etc etc. T'was an endless list but I got through it. I had been in control out of necessity for too many years...thus rather set in my ways. I love them dearly but common sense must prevail....plus I love my space. They were (are) intelligent enough and set in their ways to understand. Everything worked out great as we are all close by and there for each other. The weird thing about all this is that my son (unmarried, etc) asked to live WITH me and has, but fear not, Momma is the BOSS! Everything going great...did I tell anyone that I am great at making out notes of things to do...All for now, ha ha!
 
Old and alone? No way. Let's face it, I'm not a spring chicken, and I'm happily living alone and independently right now.

But if I couldn't manage on my own any more, sure, I'd rather live with one of my children than in a group facility. Probably the best solution would be one of those "mother-in-law" additions to their house, which I'd gladly pay for.
 

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