You ever get lonely? I mean bone tired lonely. No one to talk to .

Victor said:
It's not just grandparents, but mothers also, whose children are the Center of their lives,
and turn every subject into their kid(s) as if they were kings. I couldn't care less. And you can't
interrupt.
I like to write notes on life and kept them for a very long time. In longhand. Keeps me busy
when alone. like a journal of thoughts and incidents.
Click to expand...
me to
 

officerripley said:
Boy, isn't that the truth. I don't know about old men but most old women in my age group seem to only want to talk about their grandkids. I think it's great that they are kindly interested in their grandkids--I wish I'd had grandmothers that were--but they truly never seem to be interested in anything else.

I've even tried bringing stuff up that you'd think they'd be interested in, for example, an article saying that the elderly who have grandchildren are healthier and happy, right up their alley you'd think, right? Nope, they stare blankly 'till you quit talking and then jump in with something like, "Well, anyway, my grandkids are bla bla bla." The few times I've managed to be in the presence of elderly women who've never had kids--usually career women--I've had interesting conversations with them but am not able to be around people like that.

The few senior activities they had around here got shut down with Covid and I keep hearing that they're trying to bring them back, but there were never any childless women at any of those activities anyway; elderly, childless career women don't seem to need stuff like that; they're always traveling off somewhere to visit friends they made in college.
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YES! That drives me nuts too. I just don't get it because at my age, I prefer to have adult conversations with real people. If people can't get off the "grandkids" soapbox, it is time to move on to people I have something in common with. Maybe they are trying to relive or fix what they did as parents - who knows.
 
I am struggling right now with something. My incontinence seems a little better. My ex sent me a link to get boxers that supposedly work great. I have to drive my daughter and her mom to Orlando for her graduation tomorrow and I am just dead inside it seems. My good friend has called twice and I ignored it. He is polar opposite from me on politics but we rarely go there. Since I quit my engaging with politics on my forum I have lots of time. My daughter is at her moms the last two days so I don't have that interaction. A friend I txt with seems more remote the last two days.

Physically I seem better but I am just not engaged with life. The old Steve is gone. The one with enthusiasm and attention to others. Now I feel like a shell of me. I guess I am feeling sorry for myself. I have SO MUCH to be thankful for in my life and even now. On a different note does anyone read Sean Dietrich. He is an amazing write of short stories each day. Really inspirational. And who does wordle. Got it in 2 today. Sean's link. Sean of the South | Sean Dietrich | Substack this is not his normal day. Go back and read some earlier one. The girl in the picture is amazing.
 
Well, I don't know if the OP is still around, but I get what he is saying.

I still have my husband but no friends. And I think I either try too hard to make friends or I go the other way and say the hell with it, when I do meet people that I have nothing in common with. I don't have children or grand children. I have not travelled extensively. Or the people I do meet could be my parents' age. Then I find I'm happier not going out, but again, remember I still have a husband at home. Also I don't drive. I think only if I go to art classes that I like or some class that I like, then I could make some friends but haven't found anything that I really want to spend money on to attend.
 
This topic reminded me that Mel Robbins had a podcast about this that I haven’t listened to yet. Mel is a motivational speaker. Podcasts are free. Although this on is geared towards women, I’m sure it applies to everyone.

It’s Not You: The Real Reason Adult Friendship Is So Hard & 3 Ways to Make It Easier

“
If you’ve ever felt like making friends as an adult feels impossible, or you’ve looked around and thought, "Where did all my friends go?" – you’re not alone.
In this episode, Danielle Bayard Jackson is sharing the real reasons why female friendship can feel so complicated, based on research and the advice you need to hear.
Danielle is one of the country’s leading experts on female friendship, the Director of the Women's Relational Health Institute, and the bestselling author of Fighting For Our Friendships.
She teaches women how to build and maintain better friendships using proven, science-backed methods, and today, she’s here to clear up the confusion, cut through the drama, and break down exactly what you need to know about female friendship.
Today, you’ll learn:
-Why adult friendships change so much—and what it really means
-Why it’s okay if you don’t have a BFF (and what to do about it)
-Why female friendships can get messy and how to handle it
-What do do when friendships fade
-The subtle ways you might be pushing people away without realizing it
-Simple, powerful steps to make new friends, rekindle old ones, navigate conflict, and strengthen your support system
No matter your age or stage of life, it’s not too late.
If you’ve ever felt lonely, disconnected, or like making new friends is impossible, this conversation will show you exactly what to do next.
For more resources, click here for the podcast episode page. ”
 
LoveTulips said:
Well, I don't know if the OP is still around, but I get what he is saying.

I still have my husband but no friends. And I think I either try too hard to make friends or I go the other way and say the hell with it, when I do meet people that I have nothing in common with. I don't have children or grand children. I have not travelled extensively. Or the people I do meet could be my parents' age. Then I find I'm happier not going out, but again, remember I still have a husband at home. Also I don't drive. I think only if I go to art classes that I like or some class that I like, then I could make some friends but haven't found anything that I really want to spend money on to attend.
Click to expand...
Sam here.
 
Babs2u said:
I am one of those older people, but without family, relatives, or close friends. I could surely use some new friends and there are others in similar situations.
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Im in the same situation. Im an only child with no kids. All of my family has passed. While I was taking care of the husband the few friends I had passed away too. And I was too busy to make new ones.

hollydolly said:
I absolutely agree. There's nothing more boring IMO than grandparents droning on about their grandkids to people who don't have grandchildren... we're not interested.. if you're proud of them good for you, tell it to other grandparents...

It's like someone talking endlessly about their pets to people who don't have any..or husbands taking about their wives to their bachelor friends... or wives chattering on about their husbands to their single girlfriends... Yawnsville.!
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I agree theres nothing more boring than somebody who is fixated on one subject. I dont mind a short conversation but when they steer every conversation back to that one subject Im out. Especially when they treat you like noise when you try to change the subject. :D
LoveTulips said:
Well, I don't know if the OP is still around, but I get what he is saying.

I still have my husband but no friends. And I think I either try too hard to make friends or I go the other way and say the hell with it, when I do meet people that I have nothing in common with. I don't have children or grand children. I have not travelled extensively. Or the people I do meet could be my parents' age. Then I find I'm happier not going out, but again, remember I still have a husband at home. Also I don't drive. I think only if I go to art classes that I like or some class that I like, then I could make some friends but haven't found anything that I really want to spend money on to attend.
Click to expand...

Mostly now Im the hell with it. After the husband passed I thought I needed to mingle and make some friends. Its my nature to fix things and people said I needed these things. So I joined some widows groups and tried to mingle. What I learned was I dont fit. Them people got on my last nerve. All they did was complain about their aches and pains and go on and on about their kids and grandkids.
And the few I did hook up with wanted me to carry things and fix things for them.

So Ive quit. If I meet somebody fine. If I dont thats fine too. Im comfortable with my own company. If Im feeling chatty theres always somebody online willing to chat even at 3am.
 
stephenPE said:
I am struggling right now with something. My incontinence seems a little better. My ex sent me a link to get boxers that supposedly work great. I have to drive my daughter and her mom to Orlando for her graduation tomorrow and I am just dead inside it seems. My good friend has called twice and I ignored it. He is polar opposite from me on politics but we rarely go there. Since I quit my engaging with politics on my forum I have lots of time. My daughter is at her moms the last two days so I don't have that interaction. A friend I txt with seems more remote the last two days.

Physically I seem better but I am just not engaged with life. The old Steve is gone. The one with enthusiasm and attention to others. Now I feel like a shell of me. I guess I am feeling sorry for myself. I have SO MUCH to be thankful for in my life and even now. On a different note does anyone read Sean Dietrich. He is an amazing write of short stories each day. Really inspirational. And who does wordle. Got it in 2 today. Sean's link. Sean of the South | Sean Dietrich | Substack this is not his normal day. Go back and read some earlier one. The girl in the picture is amazing.
Click to expand...

Im a weed so all I can offer you is my experiences with incontinence issues. I have a ton of experience due to the husband and other relatives. I can speak fluently on both kinds but thats a story for another day. Ive changed more diapers than I care to remember.
And I dont have kids. :D

Anyways you have three options. Pads that fit in your underwear, Depends types, and washable incontinence boxers.
Pads are for lighter issues. Depends are best if you have big issues.
But theyre a PIA when you wear pants since every time you change you have to take off the pants.
BTDT with the husband. Not fun when there are multiple changes each day.

Washable boxers work best for lighter issues. You can stretch your wearing time by placing an incontinence pad inside.
This way when you have an accident you can change just the pad. And the boxers are backup when needed.
Sorry if all this is TMI.
 
There's a book out there called The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins.

She describes the three pillars of friendship: proximity, timing and energy.

When friends drift away, fall apart, or lose touch, it is because one or more of these three essential pillars is missing. Most of the time adult friendships fade not for personal reasons, but because of these three pillars.

Proximity: how often u are physically near them. If u are near them, you naturally spend more time together.
Timing: the chapter of life u are in right now. If u aren't in the same chapter of life with someone else, it's much harder to relate because u have less in common
Energy: You either click with some people or you don't. You can't explain it, and neither can they, but u have to trust it. The energy is off.
 
Veronica said:
Mostly now Im the hell with it. After the husband passed I thought I needed to mingle and make some friends. Its my nature to fix things and people said I needed these things. So I joined some widows groups and tried to mingle. What I learned was I dont fit. Them people got on my last nerve. All they did was complain about their aches and pains and go on and on about their kids and grandkids.
And the few I did hook up with wanted me to carry things and fix things for them.

So Ive quit. If I meet somebody fine. If I dont thats fine too. Im comfortable with my own company. If Im feeling chatty theres always somebody online willing to chat even at 3am.
Click to expand...
I mostly feel the same; I'd love to move somewhere to where there's more going on and places I could walk to and get the opportunity to say hello to people once in a while and if a friendship opportunity "fell into my lap" okay but if not, that's okay too (it would have to be okay really, wouldn't it ;-).
 
I have always been a shy person but when I moved to a new town where i knew absolutely no one, they didn't know i was shy. i said hello to everyone i met and didn't expect anything in return. I had to really put myself out there. I volunteered at a senior center cafe and made new friends and a lot of connections. I never gossiped and I always gave a friendly hello. People would comment that I was the nicest person and i thought, that is what i was going for. It has really opened some doors for me. You have to make the first move.
 
^ ^ ^ ^
And yesterday, my electricity was off 15 hours from 7 AM until midnight. I still got on my laptop using my phone as a hotspot, but could only stay on a little at a time, or my battery would run down. I thought it wouldn't matter, I could get in the car and drive around to charge it, but then a rainstorm came. Also, some years back I belonged to a different forum, and got to know the people, but then it went away. So things happen.
 
dilettante said:
I've seen some things spring up in small towns in the years, first before, and now after the pandemic. Trendy crystal and geology shops, small antique stores, railroad museums, farming museums, and some have 2nd-hand shops and antique stores predating that.

They don't seem to be doing as well as they could, probably the times. But if they had a weekly "senior day" perhaps momentum would build. This could increase business as well as providing meet and greet venues. Most seem to be on semi-rural senior jitney routes already.

But that seems to be a "pump" that needs lots of priming.
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Good idea. Sometimes the only way to get something going is to do it yourself. Do you know a couple of people who might join you in presenting this idea? Perhaps even young people who want to contribute to society. I think I will bring up the subject next time I get together with fellow seniors.
 

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