Your ex-spouse

G

Glinda

Senior Member
Imagine seeing your ex-spouse on the street. Do you greet them? Chat for a while? Is it pleasant or uncomfortable? I was married for 14 years (no children). I've been happily single since 1990. The one time I saw my ex was about 2001. He nodded. I walked on by. Sad but necessary IMO. How about you?
 

Whatsisname, The Father of My Children, and I have stayed in touch over the years and are quite friendly. He's a nice guy and always was. I'm probably nice, too, but we weren't nice together. He lives on the left coast now, and I haven't seen him since our son died in 2003, but we email often...probably at least once a week. His trophy wife doesn't seem to object. Why would she? She's the one who will inherit:)
 
Not being able to live together as a married couple should not make us enemies. That being said if the relationship was abusive the dynamics change and you probably avoid any contact.
 

I see my ex-wife from time to time when I'm visiting my sons. I'm excruciatingly cautious about not discussing anything that might open up old wounds. Actually my ex-wife was particularly outgoing and kind to my wife who at the time of this meeting was showing pronounced signs of cognitive impairment.
 
I doubt I'd know my first ex, father of my children, if I passed him on the street, which is highly unlikely. Not even sure what state he lives in. Second ex, no idea where he is and don't care.
 
I saw my ex for the first time in 20 years one evening last summer..I was driving home from work and he was walking the opposite direction. I'm owed a zillion explanations on behalf of my daughter who he abandoned in favour of someone other woman's kids, and also my daughter became a super successful in her both her private and business life as well as being a lovely human being and I wanted to tell him how he'd missed all of that, I'd thought about it many times over the years.....I briefly braked , he looked around at my car and I could see there was no recognition in his eyes, and then in seconds I changed my mind and drove on the 500 hundred or so yards to my house . I had no idea that he was in this area, the last I knew he was living 2 towns away...came to discover later that he's been living literally 1/4 of a mile away for the last few years with yet another wife..

I felt guilty immediately that I hadn't taken my chance and stopped and demanded answers for my daughter, so as soon as I got indoors I called her and explained, and said I was sorry that I'd had the chance to speak to him and didn't take it, and did she wish I had...she was appalled, and told me that as far as she was concerned he was dead to her, we owed him nothing, ...that I'd raised her single handedly with no emotional support or financial help from him from our divorce when she was just 8 , we'd always lived in the same house he knew where we were yet he chose not to contact her..so she doesn't ever want him to be any part of her life.

the irony of it all is that he turned his back on his first born, and all the children (3) that he had and raised with other women have turned out to be no good wasters

Sad, but I totally understand her..so in answer to the OPs question if I were to pass him in the street, I would have to ignore him because I couldn't possibly speak to him without raising the subject of our daughter and I have to abide by her wishes.
 
My ex, has a twin. LOL, either way, I really don't see the point in us having a chat, but if it came to that, I'd be cordial, just as I imagine he might be, but, I pretty sure it would a very short talk like how's the weather or something. Now some of my ex beaus that's a different story, we might have a long chat even sit for a bit over coffee/tea, time permitting.
 
The father of my kids has not seen them since they were 8 and 10. We divorced when they were 4 and 6. They refer to him as their biological father as he was never a real father. As soon as our divorce was final he married an 18 year old - he was 26. Last I heard they were still married and have a son and a daughter. My boys are still in touch with the paternal aunts, so found out through them but have absolutely no desire to ever see him.
 
Annie mine married a 19 year old ( he was 30) she was already just about to give birth to someone else's kid...!!!!!! needless to say that didn't last and he's on number 3 now
 
hollydolly said:
Annie mine married a 19 year old ( he was 30) she was already just about to give birth to someone else's kid...!!!!!! needless to say that didn't last and he's on number 3 now
Click to expand...

Mine married an 18 year old twice - I was the first one. One good thing you can say for your ex - your daughter.
 
I know where all my X's are, and only one lives near enough to run into. Unfortunately, he's my first husband, and he beat me up and I thought, this ain't workin out, so that was the end of that. Well, I did give him a ride on the hood of that 66 Buick Gran Sport he'll never forget, as an "I'm leaving you" gift. I'll never forget his pitiful face staring through the windshield at me yelling "you don't want to hurt me", and me saying, stay on there and find out!

He lives about .5 miles away, and if I saw him in time, I would avoid him. If he saw me, he would run.
 
My Ex is still the way he always was... Self absorbed and clueless about the feelings of others... If it isn't all about him... He isn't interested..
 
If I saw my ex on the street I would definitely say hello and we'd have a big hug. I'd want to know what he's doing in town and probably might even have a drink with him. But that's all. I've come to the conclusion that if he did me wrong, it was because he really didn't know any better or still doesn't know any better and leave it at that.
 
Not me Cookie! No way buddy. He is still abusive mentally and physically.. he treated his kids like dirt and still likes to if they ever talk. And thank God they don't talk much with him. He is a poor example of a "DAD" none the less a husband. It took 20 years to get away form him ....................and I would never look back
 
I have mentioned my ex on here before,Some may remember he was involved with Jehovas Wittiness, He passed some time ago, I mentioned at the time , i took the two youngest kids to the service and his coffin was parked by the toilet it was fitting Rubbish in the correct place yes I'm bitter , but many may remember me posting how he had me evicted from the home because I choose to save my sons life,instead of leaving in Jehovas hands .....to make my son well..who was 6 months old at the time ... He is now 40 and healthy
 
I was married for 9 yrs and the temper of his was getting worse. We had a 3 yr old son and I told him I wanted a divorce. I had told him when he began pushing and hitting me that he had killed my love for him. He promised me
that he would get counseling. I was already going. Then the hammer fell. I found out I was pregnant again. I wanted to scream. He went to counseling once and he said it wasn't a good fit. I urged him to try another. I left for good as soon as I could. He did help with child support and I worked. The children stayed in his life, but my son suffers from the temper that his father has. I let him go live with his father when he was in 4th gr. It was his choice.
To end this story, my ex married a wonderful women, who is well heeled. I am good friends with her and she loves
my children, so you know I appreciate her. She took a lot of heat off of me, but he still hates me. I can live with it. I asked her in private once, if he had ever put his hands on her, and she said yes. She told him if he ever touched her in a threatening way again, he would have to go. She owns a very nice home on the water in Florida
and has a nice inheritance. I guess he decided he better not.
Added note: I use to pray every night that he would fail to come home. I also promised God that if he let me out of that marriage, I would not marry again.
 
My ex married the woman he was cheating on me with. They had two children.. My ex more or less forgot all about the two he had with me. We have seen one another occasionally over the years at family events involving our mutual grandchildren.. and have been cordial. Hes wife died 2 years ago. He is bitter lonely old man. He also has some dementia according to the kids. I don't have any particular feelings for him..
 
That's a very sad story Charlotta...sorry you had to go through all that...:(


Denise wow, what a star..I want you in my corner when the chips are down...wooooooooo tiger!!
 
My first husband passed away. My second, I have no idea where he is. His daughter has tried to find him, unsuccessfuly. I feel bad that he did not have the opportunity to know what a lovely person she became. Or, to share in the life of his beautiful grand and great grand children. I would be cordial to him. Even though I wasted 10 horrible years, with a controlling, partying, immoral man. He has three other children that I know about. Do not know if he ever remarried though.
 

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