Your thoughts on romantic love?

Gaer

Gaer

"Angel whisperer"
Location
New Mexico U.S.A.
Isn't it odd that LOVE, bittersweet and irrrepressible, experienced in full being, is a yearning of one human body for another particular one and has a complete indifference for any substitutes?
I wonder why?
And, do you think it's possible for one to love two or more persons at the same time, with the same depth?
 

I never thought to love two or more persons at the same time....Only my Mom and Dad and brother's....
I've loved my husband from I met him in High School Biology.....Very long time ago....We married 20 years old
and still married this Month, August....
I've had friend's that had bad marriages....Some never married again....My poor friend had a husband that cheated on her
and stayed with him till he died....(It was hard to go to his funeral) UGH!!!! Now my very good friend died too early.....
I miss her everyday....She never loved another man when her husband died.....
 
The mating instinct is powerful for all species - that's how we survived. Just as in the rest of the vertebrate kingdom, some mate for life, others for the moment.

Humans and some other species seem to make additional personal connections with our mates.

Can someone love more than one person at a time? Of course.
How the objects of that affection feel about sharing is another question entirely. Me? I'd be outta there.
 

My love of one person has never caused me complete indifference for anyone other than that person. I think I've felt that way much of my life but my first descriptions of it came from Robert Heinlein's Strange in a Strange Land or Time Enough for Love. For me it is definitely possible for me to romantically love more than one woman.

I've met many other people who love two or more people in various types of different arrangements. I just wish I'd known that people were able to live that way earlier in my life. I knew about the concept but thought it was only true in fiction such as Heinlein's stories.

However even with this knowledge I'm happy in my current life and actively choose to live monogamously because that is what my wife wishes.
 
Not a 'one great romance' kinda of person. I'm just not wired that way though I've deeply loved and been swept away initially by the 'romance' of phenylethylamine/dopamine infatuation.

There are so many things tangled up in love--especially codependency--to answer much of the OP as a lay person.
 
After getting involved with and then disentangling myself from more than one dysfunctional male, I met A Prince Among Men, who loves me unconditionally. At times I wish I'd met him earlier but it would not have been the right time; I am enjoying loving him day-by-day.
 
AnnieA said:
That's real love. Because it represents a lifetime of choices to stay when the emotions were absent for long stretches. I see that in my parents and have seen it in my work with geriatrics over the years. That's the real deal.
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We're assuming the image in post #6 depicts a long term relationship. It could just as easily be a staged photo or an autumn romance.

For the record, I'm in a very happy, monogamous marriage of 40 years.
 
StarSong said:
We're assuming the image in post #6 depicts a long term relationship. It could just as easily be a staged photo or an autumn romance.

For the record, I'm in a very happy, monogamous marriage of 40 years.
Click to expand...

lol, It probably is staged, but I've seen real people that have lived it. Sounds like you and yours are on your way there!
 
Marrying for love is a relatively new concept.

In the past, marriage ( or other arrangements) was for the purpose of gaining property or cementing alliances.

The bride and groom seldom had even met each other before they were standing at the altar (or whatever passed for a ceremony in their society).

It was up to them to make the best of the situation after that. Maybe love would set in....maybe it wouldn't. Whatever it was, they were stuck with each other.

With the divorce rate being what it is today, who's to say that marrying for love is an improvement?
 
Cheating songs have been a stable of Hill Billy music for decades (since the
1950's I think).
The cheating songs sneaked over to the pop stations in the 1960' (I think)

The one I remember is 'Torn Between Two Lovers' in the early 70's

We would not have this genre in our culture if it were it a rare event.

Marriage is an occupation, requiring diligence-to bad we did not know that before
marriage.
Go to a beer joint or club on weekend nights-observe
 
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Gaer said:
Isn't it odd that LOVE, bittersweet and irrrepressible, experienced in full being, is a yearning of one human body for another particular one and has a complete indifference for any substitutes?
I wonder why?
And, do you think it's possible for one to love two or more persons at the same time, with the same depth?
Click to expand...

Total Love includes:

Romantic Love: Those moments when you look into your Lady's eyes, your heart melts and you know that it is your destiny to spend the rest of your life loving her, honoring her and protecting her.

Physical Love: Those passionate, earth shaking moments that leave you breathless, exhausted, and wondering at the mystery of what just happened. (I'm old, but I remember.)

Playful Love: Those easy, teasing moments spent playing with the puppy, gently teasing each other and laughing at the absurdities of the world. Snuggling, always snuggling.

Companionship Love: Easy dinners together, planning the next vacation, discussing the last book you read, just loving the simplicity of being together.

Committed Love: Unquestionable support for each other against the difficult and often cruel nature of life.

And when you are old and gray you have all these wonderful memories to sustain you.

... and if one has all these components of the total package, why would they be tempted to stray. I could not.
 
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jujube said:
Marrying for love is a relatively new concept.

In the past, marriage ( or other arrangements) was for the purpose of gaining property or cementing alliances.

The bride and groom seldom had even met each other before they were standing at the altar (or whatever passed for a ceremony in their society).

It was up to them to make the best of the situation after that. Maybe love would set in....maybe it wouldn't. Whatever it was, they were stuck with each other.

With the divorce rate being what it is today, who's to say that marrying for love is an improvement?
Click to expand...
Still happens lots particualrly in Asian ( Indian and Pakistani ) arranged marriages, it's expected in many cases not to have met the life partner more than once before the ceremony..
 
hollydolly said:
Still happens lots particualrly in Asian ( Indian and Pakistani ) arranged marriages, it's expected in many cases not to have met the life partner more than once before the ceremony..
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I had an Indian Engineer working for me during my last tour in the Navy. He and his wife put a lot of pressure on their son to marry a woman that their relatives in India had picked out for him. That effort did not work and they had to give it up.
 
hollydolly said:
Still happens lots particualrly in Asian ( Indian and Pakistani ) arranged marriages, it's expected in many cases not to have met the life partner more than once before the ceremony..
Click to expand...


I had a professor in Nursing school who was Indian and she had an arranged marriage that was very happy. I thought her parents were very kind and wise in what they did: they picked out 4 young men they were happy with, then *she* got to pick out the one she wanted.
 
Pecos said:
Total Love includes:

Romantic Love: Those moments when you look into your Lady's eyes, your heart melts and you know that it is your destiny to spend the rest of your life loving her, honoring her and protecting her.

Physical Love: Those passionate, earth shaking moments that leave you breathless, exhausted, and wondering at the mystery of what just happened. (I'm old, but I remember.)

Playful Love: Those easy, teasing moments spent playing with the puppy, gently teasing each other and laughing at the absurdities of the world. Snuggling, always snuggling.

Companionship Love: Easy dinners together, planning the next vacation, discussing the last book you read, just loving the simplicity of being together.

Committed Love: Unquestionable support for each other against the difficult and often cruel nature of life.

And when you are old, gray you have all these wonderful memories to sustain you.

... and if one has all these components of the total package, why would they be tempted to stray. I could not.
Click to expand...
THAT IS SO BEAUTIFUL!!!! Thank you Pecos!!!!
 

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