I must be the odd one
Anybody estranges me, it’s pretty much a relief
My lady is just opposite
Anyway, something somewhat pertinent I put together a few years back, and, heh, posted here more than once
(use the scroll feature if it’s a bore);
Anybody got close to near to close relatives that seem to live a cut above everone around them including you?
These are kin, that if you had the choice, you’d pick for Hitler’s cronies, their lives ending by the hand of Idi Amin’s pals. It’s a dream you have anyway.
These are not necessarily smug folks, as they’ve been raised to be proper with kindly remarks saved for the mentally disadvantaged (you), but still, when in conversation, you seem to come off as a curiosity, a toy that should have been discarded but kept because, well, it’s been passed down from aged family members.
These are your kinfolks that you wish weren’t.
But there you are, at their place.
And there they are, choosing the correct fork with mindless ease, while it dawns on you that you not only have one, but both elbows on the table.
This felonious act is like discovering, while you’re waiting for the bus, you have no pants on.
Yeah, there they are, wittily chatting about current events, glancing your way, hoping you will say something so they can have a good mutual laugh, jumping on your blurted fractured words like the ravenous hyenas they are.
But you know this, so you amiably reach for your seventh dinner role, because you know the lone knife is for butter…pretty sure.
And there’s your sister, blending nicely, and even your little brother….cute little bastard, seems to be one of them, along with mom and dad, all exchanging quips and witticisms.
So you begin to feel a tad self-conscious, and thirsty, since your fourth glass of juice has managed to cause that loaf of dinner rolls to swell to the max in your twisted up stomach…
‘Why’d the moron throw the clock out the window?’
‘Whud he say?’
snicker giggle giggle giggle…….rising, swelling to a tidal wave of uproarious laughter.
‘I dunno, Gary, why did the moron do that (snarkle)?’
The beets look pale compared to you.
Only you are smiling, laughing sappily with them.
But, on the inside you’re envisioning Hitler’s storm troopers bashing down the door, and hauling everyone outside.
You are untouched, saved actually.
Later you stroll out to the gazebo where everyone is flailing away, hanging upside down.
You walk slowly by these relatives of yours, stopping in front of your cousin’s bobbing head.
‘TO EFFING SEE THE EFFING TIME EFFING FLY!!!!’
Later that day, sitting in the gazebo, finally with your own thoughts, you settle your mind with the calming resolution of just writing a book……..
So, you never had relatives like that, you say?
Me neither
