If you say "no', why you should be able to keep an expensive token of my affection?

Sunny said:
Interesting thread, which I just read, beginning to end. I am hardly an expert on this subject, but my understanding has always been that whoever turns down, or breaks off, the engagement, allows the other party to keep the ring.

Of course, the word "allows" is pretty vague. Legally, I have a feeling that possession is 9/10 of the law. How can someone be forced to turn over a ring?
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They can be forced to pay the cost of the ring.
 

When I was young (under 20), I went with this guy who gave me a promise ring. It basically had a diamond chip in it, not that that should really matter. After a time, we ended up breaking it off. I wound up keeping the ring. I might even still have it somewhere. I didn't give any thought to the "legalities" of the situation and neither did he. I don't even think he wanted the ring back.

I don't think I did anything horrible. It just worked out the way it worked out. Sometimes, that's all it is.
 
applecruncher said:
They can be forced to pay the cost of the ring.
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That's exactly what judges have ruled in the cases I followed. Judges usually know the woman is lying; she just wanted to keep the ring & maybe change the setting.
 

Uptosnuff said:
When I was young (under 20), I went with this guy who gave me a promise ring. It basically had a diamond chip in it, not that that should really matter. After a time, we ended up breaking it off. I wound up keeping the ring. I might even still have it somewhere. I didn't give any thought to the "legalities" of the situation and neither did he. I don't even think he wanted the ring back.

I don't think I did anything horrible. It just worked out the way it worked out. Sometimes, that's all it is.
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He didn't want the ring back. A promise ring with a diamond chip in it is one thing. A ring that costs several thousand dollars in another.
 
Sunny said:
Of course, the word "allows" is pretty vague. Legally, I have a feeling that possession is 9/10 of the law. How can someone be forced to turn over a ring?
Click to expand...

A person could break into someone's home, and later, after arrested, could say it was justified, to get the ring back?
:ROFLMAO:
 
1955er said:
Sounds like a screenplay to a Hallmark movie, Kaila.
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Right. Thanks for the inspiration.;)

So the person who broke in to get back the ring they thought rightfully theirs,
sees that the former beloved, has kept every one of their photos and tokens, and must truly love them,

so they hide in the kitchen, set up some candles, and surprise the former mate, re- propose again, and they live happily ever after.
:love::LOL::ROFLMAO:
 
Kaila said:
Right. Thanks for the inspiration.;)

So the person who broke in to get back the ring they thought rightfully theirs,
sees that the former beloved, has kept every one of their photos and tokens, and must truly love them,

so they hide in the kitchen, set up some candles, and surprise the former mate, re- propose again, and they live happily ever after.
:love::LOL::ROFLMAO:
Click to expand...
Or she gets caught by the handsome deputy and love and stuff happens. Merry Christmas !
 
Not sure about this:
Is a ring a societal norm wherein the female can exhibit it to her female peers as a token to exhibit, 'I am of great
value.'
The question arose when I overheard a conversation of two girls/young ladies, discussing the merits of their
engagement rings. The size of the diamond in the ring was of great importance.

I suppose I'm asking, is an engagement ring a trophy-which represent a lot of different things to different people.
 
jerry r. garner said:
Not sure about this:
Is a ring a societal norm wherein the female can exhibit it to her female peers as a token to exhibit, 'I am of great
value.'
The question arose when I overheard a conversation of two girls/young ladies, discussing the merits of their
engagement rings. The size of the diamond in the ring was of great importance.

I suppose I'm asking, is an engagement ring a trophy-which represent a lot of different things to different people.
Click to expand...
I think it was an invention of the diamond industry. Besides, gals would just look silly with a cow on their finger.
 
jerry r. garner said:
Not sure about this:
Is a ring a societal norm wherein the female can exhibit it to her female peers as a token to exhibit, 'I am of great
value.'
The question arose when I overheard a conversation of two girls/young ladies, discussing the merits of their
engagement rings. The size of the diamond in the ring was of great importance.

I suppose I'm asking, is an engagement ring a trophy-which represent a lot of different things to different people.
Click to expand...

Baffles me! Are they in love with the man or the ring? Values of what is important have sure changed.
My husband could have put a cigar band wrapper on my finger when we got engaged for all that it mattered to me.
 
jerry r. garner said:
Not sure about this:
Is a ring a societal norm wherein the female can exhibit it to her female peers as a token to exhibit, 'I am of great
value.'
The question arose when I overheard a conversation of two girls/young ladies, discussing the merits of their
engagement rings. The size of the diamond in the ring was of great importance.

I suppose I'm asking, is an engagement ring a trophy-which represent a lot of different things to different people.
Click to expand...
A wedding ring was invented as a marriage trophy because it's a circle, meaning never-ending love. Jewelry were given to the wives so that men could prove and brag about how wealthy and succesful they were. I suppose that is still true today.
 
win231 said:
ROFLMAO!! B-B-B-But....since he did give you a ring, you really can't say whether you would have married him without one.
Most likely, you'd have said what most women would say: "Well, I don't see a ring."
And, I can see why you don't like the question......
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You don't know that he did, so keep your assumptions to yourself. You obviously haven't had a happy relationship; bitterness is so unattractive in a person.
 
win231 said:
Most likely, you'd have said what most women would say: "Well, I don't see a ring."
Click to expand...
It's a tradition for a man to give a woman an engagement ring as a promise of a future marriage. So, of course, MOST women expect to get a ring unless she loves the guy and he's very poor (not wealthy and too cheap to buy her one). Ask yourself, if you were to become a police officer would you not expect to get a badge like all the other officers? You would question it if you didn't get one. A badge is not only for verification that you are a cop but also a trophy of your position.
 
Well, what is your topic?
Are you going to disregard the OP's intent, as you a prone to do?
Hard to say, I haven’t written it yet.
Well you quit dallying and get to the point!
Maybe, maybe not

Many post make me wonder, I wonder about the content of the post
That requires I go to profiles and read.
If still curious I read all of their post,
or enough to satisfy my curiosity

Post are snippets of our personality,
snapshots of the individual, nothing more.

I do not attempt to do any character analysis
from snapshots. However, if you read enough post
from an individual, a vague, floating portrait emerges.

Regardless, opinions obtained from another’s posts
Are invariably calculations based on far too sparse information
 
From what I remember about this, in past centuries in Europe, people kept most of their wealth in jewelry, including gold and diamonds. They often had to flee their homes in a hurry, sometimes over night, due to natural disasters or political reasons, sometimes due to pogroms if they were Jewish. They may have not had convenient access to banks the way we do. So they kept whatever wealth they had in the form of jewelry, hidden in a drawer or somewhere, and wrapped it up and hid it on their person when they had to flee. (Yes, it would have been a little bit harder to do with a cow.)

If times got hard, the diamond could easily be sold afterward.

Probably giving the woman a diamond ring stems from those days. I imagine the ring was an indication that the guy was serious about wanting to provide for the woman with material things. What makes this interesting is the fact that back in those "good old days," in many cultures the bride's father was expected to pay a dowry to the groom. Sounds like a lot of business-type trading was going on. I suspect the romantic part of it came along later.
 
Sometimes some women are caught up in the "Cinderella" romanticism of an engagement ring and a wedding INSTEAD of focusing on the actual marriage --->> spending their life with the man they claim to be in love with.
 
I'm thinking Males and Females have totally different concepts of marriage.
We certainly seem to bewilder our spouses and they bewilder us.
 
PVC said:
It's a tradition for a man to give a woman an engagement ring as a promise of a future marriage. So, of course, MOST women expect to get a ring unless she loves the guy and he's very poor (not wealthy and too cheap to buy her one). Ask yourself, if you were to become a police officer would you not expect to get a badge like all the other officers? You would question it if you didn't get one. A badge is not only for verification that you are a cop but also a trophy of your position.
Click to expand...
Big difference. A police officer doesn't pay thousands of dollars for his badge.
 
C'est Moi said:
You don't know that he did, so keep your assumptions to yourself. You obviously haven't had a happy relationship; bitterness is so unattractive in a person.
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LOL! Which one of us sounds bitter??
:D
 

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