Dating After 50

jujube said:
When I started dating again, it was a series of adventures ranging from annoying to disastrous, but I persevered and eventually as I was about to give up, I met someone. We've been together for 10 years now.
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Have to kiss several frogs before finding that special one...SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!
 

I have known two men whose dying wives virtually directed them to marry a woman that they picked out for them. In both cases, the women were long time friends and they knew them very well and in both cases they were good matches. I still cannot wrap my head around this, but it is hard to argue with success. In both cases the husband's remarried within a year just like they were instructed.
I don't know if the wives felt that their husbands could not function without a woman, or if they felt that their friend needed the economic security that their husbands could provide, … or both.
I have never heard of a dying man doing this, but I suppose it happens as well.
Is this romantic or just weird?
 
The stats are, as I understand it..date 26 folks, 2 you like and they don't like you --2 like you and you cant stand them. one will like you and you will like him/her --that is from dating age tho, most of us are far too cranky picky etc etc for those to be good odds for us--I am afraid after two maybe three I would start hugging myself. happy march hoooORAY
 
Pecos said:
I have known two men whose dying wives virtually directed them to marry a woman that they picked out for them. In both cases, the women were long time friends and they knew them very well and in both cases they were good matches. I still cannot wrap my head around this, but it is hard to argue with success. In both cases the husband's remarried within a year just like they were instructed.
I don't know if the wives felt that their husbands could not function without a woman, or if they felt that their friend needed the economic security that their husbands could provide, … or both.
I have never heard of a dying man doing this, but I suppose it happens as well.
Is this romantic or just weird?
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CREEPY
 
Pecos said:
I forgot to add that in both cases, these wives got their husbands and their friends in the same room when they made this announcement. One of the wives made them promise to do it right on the spot.
Romantic or weird?
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I agree with Chadsworth: Completely creepy!
 
When I was much younger, I had a close girlfriend who was single. I always thought she and my husband would be a good match if anything should happen to me. She met someone who she is still married to. We're still in touch, and I still hold her in the highest regard.
 
Gaer said:
Ruthanne: Someone said you were only 60? Good grief! If you're that young, I say go for it too! There is no way I could ever go through the pain of losing my love through death again, and I'm pretty old, but 60 is . . You're just a baby! At that age, you should have a big,hunky man in your life!
This is a really interesting thread you've started! Some really interesting opinions!
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@Gaer I'll be 63 this year. I am widowed too. I don't want that hurt again either. I've looked for a new man but it's very hard with not getting out much. I'm just too tired at this point to keep looking.
 
Pinky said:
When I was much younger, I had a close girlfriend who was single. I always thought she and my husband would be a good match if anything should happen to me. She met someone who she is still married to. We're still in touch, and I still hold her in the highest regard.
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If I were ever (God forbid) to find myself in this situation, I would put a lot of faith in my wife's opinion.
 
Mid 70's is a strange age. Kinda BETWEEN! On one hand, you want the feel of a man next to you, you want closeness and conversation, laughter and love with a man. You feel young, healthy and you're not ready to give up LIFE! On the other hand, you're independent and don't want or need another LIABILITY in your world. You're a loner and you LIKE that label. You keep reminding yourself of your age, and at this age you're not supposed to have these desires. You're SUPPOSED to be preparing for "old age".
You can't go through another death. You don't think you could ever live alone, but here you are and you're aceing it! I could never go back to "dating hell", nor would I ever want that. I love this thread. It's really making me do some soul searching.
 
I think we're sexual beings until we die. I still feel youthful at 72. Being widowed is not something I've experienced, so, I can't begin to know how I would feel about having a new relationship after losing a husband.

Remarried in my early 50's. Once divorced, it felt very freeing - eventually.
 
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Pecos said:
I have known two men whose dying wives virtually directed them to marry a woman that they picked out for them. In both cases, the women were long time friends and they knew them very well and in both cases they were good matches. I still cannot wrap my head around this, but it is hard to argue with success. In both cases the husband's remarried within a year just like they were instructed.
I don't know if the wives felt that their husbands could not function without a woman, or if they felt that their friend needed the economic security that their husbands could provide, … or both.
I have never heard of a dying man doing this, but I suppose it happens as well.
Is this romantic or just weird?
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I think it’s tremendously unselfish and a very loving thing to do.
 
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Pecos said:
I have known two men whose dying wives virtually directed them to marry a woman that they picked out for them. In both cases, the women were long time friends and they knew them very well and in both cases they were good matches. I still cannot wrap my head around this, but it is hard to argue with success. In both cases the husband's remarried within a year just like they were instructed.
I don't know if the wives felt that their husbands could not function without a woman, or if they felt that their friend needed the economic security that their husbands could provide, … or both.
I have never heard of a dying man doing this, but I suppose it happens as well.
Is this romantic or just weird?
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It's extremely CREEPY and controlling. Trying to manage things from beyond the grave is weird. If I "instructed" my husband who to marry when I die, I'd get the biggest eye-roll in history. I think he's grown up enough to fall in love and be happy without my guiding hand. Good grief.
 
Pinky said:
I think we're sexual beings until we die. I still feel youthful at 72. Being widowed is not something I've experienced, so, I can't begin to know how I would feel about having a new relationship after losing a husband.

Remarried in my early 50's. Once divorced, it felt very freeing - eventually.
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Pinky, Maybe WE'RE sexual beings but men in out age bracket have pretty much said goodbye to all that. I have friends that date younger men, but I don't care to be around younger men. ( I've raised my kids) It's hard, ya know? I guess I miss LOVE. Can't ever go through losing my man again though.
 
Gaer said:
I don't care to be around younger men. ( I've raised my kids) It's hard, ya know? I guess I miss LOVE. Can't ever go through losing my man again though.
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This is exactly how I feel. I've raised my kids also and that is enough for me. Losing my husband once was bad enough and I don't want to experience that ever again.
 
Gaer said:
Pinky, Maybe WE'RE sexual beings but men in out age bracket have pretty much said goodbye to all that. I have friends that date younger men, but I don't care to be around younger men. ( I've raised my kids) It's hard, ya know? I guess I miss LOVE. Can't ever go through losing my man again though.
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Clearly you haven't met Ron ;) 😂
 
Gaer said:
Maybe WE'RE sexual beings but men in out age bracket have pretty much said goodbye to all that.
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tenor.gif
 
Victor said:
After a lifetime of trying, I gave up for a myriad of reasons and now I enjoy giving others advice on
a forum for love and marriage.
Now if I even say anything complimentary
women assume I am flirting and retreat or go away.
Single Forever.
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I KNOW when I'm being flirted with and when I flirt it's also very recognizable. I'm good at it but you're happy being single and I think that is great! Just don't think all women are after you. Just be friends if that doesn't inhibit your lifestyle.
 
Pecos said:
I have known two men whose dying wives virtually directed them to marry a woman that they picked out for them. In both cases, the women were long time friends and they knew them very well and in both cases they were good matches. I still cannot wrap my head around this, but it is hard to argue with success. In both cases the husband's remarried within a year just like they were instructed.
I don't know if the wives felt that their husbands could not function without a woman, or if they felt that their friend needed the economic security that their husbands could provide, … or both.
I have never heard of a dying man doing this, but I suppose it happens as well.
Is this romantic or just weird?
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I think this may be more common than one would think. My daughter's in-laws went through this very thing. Her mother-in-law was dying and told her husband to marry their long-time friend of the family. He did, not very long after she died. I was invited to their house for a holiday and went. The new wife seemed very nice but if I was my son-in-law, it would have been very hard to accept.
 
Ruthanne said:
I was chatting with a man at a dating site and I guess I took too long, in his opinion, to try to get to know him. He quit chatting with me. I find many of the guys who contact me want to go off the site right away. The site warns not to do go off the site with the person too quickly.

So, now I am chatting with 3 other guys there trying to get to know them and decide if I want to meet any of them.

I want to meet someone but am not desperate and do okay on my own, too.

Is anyone else dating or trying to date at this age?
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You could try this: Whenever you begin a new conversation, begin with a standard message. It says "As you know, dating sites are infested with scammers. I in no way am accusing you or anyone else, I'm simply cautious. In the past, I've been pressured to communicate "off site", and I hope you'll understand that I'm not comfortable doing that right away."

If at all possible, meet someone for the first time in a group setting, with a couple persons you already know.
Can be as simple as a lunch date or expedition to go somewhere.
Yes, you want to know about one-on-one chemistry, but you also want to view them in context.

Females, especially older ones, are heavily targeted by scammers.
 
Victor said:
A common misperception is that men merely want sex, or later on, someone to keep house
for them or "a nurse with a purse". Well, plenty of guys, including me, do NOT
want that. We are not all out to take advantage of you. In fact, I am concerned
that they would take advantage of me.
Ladies want someone to take them to dinner, be a
gentleman and ask for nothing in return, except conversation, and many senior men will
oblige and do this. That's not my POV.
Just because someone wants to date a nurse, for example, should not imply it is
for health reasons, to take care of him. I got hit on another forum once for that.
To the OP, caveat emptor --online dating is very illusory.
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@Victor, it's good to know there are still "old school" gentlemen like you. I don't go to dating sites and prefer to meet people in person. I like good conversations but not about politics or religion. Online dating is definitely not for me but if it works for others, good for them.
 

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