Dating After 50

While I appreciate the sentiment Mimi, it isn't so much the sexual part of the relationship. I'm just not interested in the relationship itself. I just basically would like to have a buddy more or less that's male to go do crap with. I'm around whiney, b****y a** women all day at work. I find men to be easier to get along with as long as it's just friends. But right now I don't even want that.
 

Personally I couldn’t be bothered. Really happy just having a few good friends of my own gender. A close relative went on a dating site after he was widowed. Well he was a sitting duck as he had a nice home and was quite well off. He met a lady and within two months she’d moved in. We all made her welcome as he seemed happy but it was only a matter of time before she managed to turn him against us. His family were superfluous to her needs. Well hopefully his money will last the distance what with all the luxury travel, European river cruises etc. Anyway my point is, just be careful who you meet and what their motives are.
I got an older cousin that's got $$ and he keeps getting these crazy broads and getting them expensive diamond rings and $800,000 houses and then they dump him. I told mom to tell him next time he called I needed a new car. LOL!
 

hellomimi

Namaste 🙏
Location
City of Angels
While I appreciate the sentiment Mimi, it isn't so much the sexual part of the relationship. I'm just not interested in the relationship itself. I just basically would like to have a buddy more or less that's male to go do crap with. I'm around whiney, b****y a** women all day at work. I find men to be easier to get along with as long as it's just friends. But right now I don't even want that.
I hear ya, the senior women I work with are the same.

I hope you meet that kind of guy to be your bestfriend. But if you don't even want that now, chances are he won't come to your life. As long as you're happy to be alone for the rest of your life, that's all that matters.

PS: Wasn't @Victor looking for female friends to chat with? You might find a friend in each other? 🤩🥰💘💖💓 j/k
 

ronk

Member
I tried a few online relationships in my younger years. They really didn't work out. Then I reconnected to my high school sweetie, after 33 years. I got married at age 49. I was pretty lost when the marriage ended after 5 years. I tried online dating again. The online service kept telling me women were interested in me, so I reached out. They said they weren't interested in dating at all! The web site steered me wrong! I gave up. I am currently resolved to seek companionship where I live. There are plenty of wonderful and sociable women in my building. I'd rather make a friend right now, and let the friendship grow. I'd rather have a good woman friend than rush into something that might turn out bad.
 

MFP

New Member
I was chatting with a man at a dating site and I guess I took too long, in his opinion, to try to get to know him. He quit chatting with me. I find many of the guys who contact me want to go off the site right away. The site warns not to do go off the site with the person too quickly.

So, now I am chatting with 3 other guys there trying to get to know them and decide if I want to meet any of them.

I want to meet someone but am not desperate and do okay on my own, too.


Is anyone else dating or trying to date at this age?
No. I'm not really interested in dating. I tried a few times but, I've found I enjoy my own company.
 

CeeCee

Well-known Member
Location
Fresno
I’m not interested in dating anymore. When I lived alone in Fresno I did think it would be nice to have a male friend that could help me with things around the house that I couldn’t do.😃

Now that I’m living at my daughter‘s house I don’t have those issues but I sure would like to find a female friend to do things like an occasional lunch or movie, etc. but with covid, that’s not even possible.

I wonder if there is a local senior friendship site like the ones for dating?

I do plan on joining the senior center here when it’s finally open...Monterey County is still in purple tier.

I miss my Fresno friends:(
 

Packerjohn

Packerjohn
Location
Canada
Pfffft. Dating schmating. I thought about it about a year after my DH died, got on a couple of sites, and changed my mind in a real big hurry. My biggest objection? Their profiles indicated that they were needy and desperate...mostly for either a nurse with a purse or for somebody to wash and iron and cook and clean and polish everything to a high sheen. Thanks, but no! I've learned to live alone and really don't want to spend a lot of time with all that getting-to-know-you stuff, not to mention that ALL of them went on and on about how much time they spend with their grandchildren and adult children. Want my company? When do you think you'll have the time?
You sound pretty bitter. I have been reading a lot of books on this subject. I think you need some "me" time; away from men. The trouble with Internet dating is that you will come across a lot of weird-o, jerks, crooks, etc. before you come across a quality man. Trust me, there are quality men out there but it takes time & patience. The jerks & con artists lie; the quality people do not. There are many good books on this topic & there are many good websites for advice. One parting advice is this: There are more jerks on the free sites. The more honest people actually pay money to get on a site (eg: e-harmony). I think you need some quality time out. I wish you good luck in the future.
 

Packerjohn

Packerjohn
Location
Canada
I think online dating sites is one of the best inventions after the wheel, it could let you find that perfect needle in the haystack. If it works!

It would work perfectly if the posters did not post old photos, lied about what they are like, and lie about what they're looking for. I tried a few times and the last time, when I was 59, this guy said that he liked to hike and ''explore'' and had no problem in the sex department. Exactly what I was looking for! After I met him, all he wanted to do was drink coffee and talk and had no libido and was impotent and had no desire to hike or explore. He was attractive physically and had a nice shape, tall and slim, but had no teeth and refused to wear dentures, I had trouble understanding him. He was too lazy to clean his small apartment or wash dishes and paid his daughter to do it for him. After a few dates I ended it and gave up trying to find someone and have never dated again. That guy was the ''straw that broke the camel's back'' as far as I was concerned.
WOW! Sounds like you found a real loser! I could never understand this lying business. Once you really meet someone all your lies will come out. I really believe in Internet dating. This is how I met my wonderful wife. We had a magical relationship for 17 years until she died last month. We were like 2 peas in the pod. Sure there are con-artists out there but there are also decent people. I can't believe I'm the only decent guy on this planet. LOL
 

Packerjohn

Packerjohn
Location
Canada
I used to belong to several dating sites and for the most part I really enjoyed them. Now, I just feel like I'm a bit too old to join but I'd still like to try but I don't know which sites are reputable. Most of the men I met, meaning messaged, were quite pleasant and good for companionship.
The general advice is that the free sites have a lot more con-artists, jerks, weirdos & all around losers. The ones you pay for are suppose to have a greater amount of more serious people. Basically, it's tread slowly & "buyer beware!" Good luck!
 

Packerjohn

Packerjohn
Location
Canada
The trouble with dating after 50 is that both sides are carrying a lot of baggage. When you're young you're a blank slate and also very naive. After 50, if you're looking that means that you have had past relationships (widow, divorced, lots of failed relationships), you have kids from other relationships, you worry about golddiggers, and other hangups. I quit looking when I was 59 after a disastrous short term dating experience and decided I was too old and too much of a loner to want to have to share and compromise.
You are never, never too old for love. This is a fact. You only think you are too old. The need to love/be loved never stops. Sorry to hear about your negative experiences.
 

Packerjohn

Packerjohn
Location
Canada
Me either.
~Ruthanne: you asked about dating. I'm 54. Been married and divorced twice. None of my relationships prior to or after have ever worked out. Me and men just don't get along. Most of them just want maids with benefits. I no longer give the milk away for free, the cow is not for sale, the barn is closed. LOL! Seriously, I'm so much better off without a man. Isn't there any singles where you live that you can meet in person? I would be wary of the dating site men. Most have ulterior motives. After the story they did yrs ago about the gals that went on this dating site and got killed by the man and put in a storage locker inside 55 gal drums...I never went near a dating site again. I only had one date off this one and it was a bomb. I'm more interested in living my life than dealing with the headache of a relationship. I'm finally free to be me and I love it. I get it if you're lonesome. But, I would think there would be a safer way to meet men. :sneaky:
Wow! You are giving us the "all men are rotten" story. If I follow your reasoning, I would say no one should go to Florida because someone got shot there. No one should go to Mexico because of the drug cartel. Millions spend winter in Florida & Mexico & they have a wonderful time. Many go back every winter. They don't end up in barrels. Don't judge all men based on creeps you find on websites. There is a lot of good books & websites that tell you how to spot these jerks ASAP. By the way, there are good quality men out there. The trick, of course, is weeding them out of the huge posse of jerks, con-artists, crazies, gold diggers, woman abusers & just plain no good-for-nothing. Good luck!
 

Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
Wow! You are giving us the "all men are rotten" story. If I follow your reasoning, I would say no one should go to Florida because someone got shot there. No one should go to Mexico because of the drug cartel. Millions spend winter in Florida & Mexico & they have a wonderful time. Many go back every winter. They don't end up in barrels. Don't judge all men based on creeps you find on websites. There is a lot of good books & websites that tell you how to spot these jerks ASAP. By the way, there are good quality men out there. The trick, of course, is weeding them out of the huge posse of jerks, con-artists, crazies, gold diggers, woman abusers & just plain no good-for-nothing. Good luck!
I don't think all men are rotten but tend to think most of the good ones are taken. Maybe that's a mistake to think that. I've run into all of what you listed in that posse and for now have given up. At least I'm no longer looking for any man online. I saw something on tv that made sense to me about online dating the other day. You really can't tell chemistry either online.

Finding a man hasn't been my top priority for a good number of years now. I think if I do meet someone it will not be online.
 

MickaC

Senior Member
Location
Manitoba, Canada
WOW! Sounds like you found a real loser! I could never understand this lying business. Once you really meet someone all your lies will come out. I really believe in Internet dating. This is how I met my wonderful wife. We had a magical relationship for 17 years until she died last month. We were like 2 peas in the pod. Sure there are con-artists out there but there are also decent people. I can't believe I'm the only decent guy on this planet. LOL
So sorry you lost your true LOVE........Life is just not fair.........
 

Packerjohn

Packerjohn
Location
Canada
A friend of mine is paying $ for Match.com and this is the guy they matched her with. His handle is Muffdiver. I don't think paying is any help. :LOL:
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He, He! I know a lady who went on line & she got disgusted at some of the photos. She said she found one with some guy with a toothpick stuck in his mouth. She also complained about all the guys with beards because she did not want guys with facial hair. I don't know about that! If you are a millennial, almost all of them look like bums to me. Us older guys are usually cleaned face. To be fair, there are probably a lot of "ugly" women on websites out there too. You just have to keep moving & find out what appeals to you. Yes, if I was a woman I too would be afraid of this guy but you know, not all men look like this. THANK GOD! By the way, the literature out there & the advice is that there are more chance of finding people who are more serious about finding a long lasting relationship on paid sites than on free sites. However, there is no guarantee that all the guys on paid sites are "Mr. Wonderful" & they are tall, handsome, rich & good dancers. Sometimes, you find guys like this one. A guy that perhaps only his mother loves but then again maybe nobody loves him? I don't know. He doesn't seem to have a lot of "sex appeal"
 
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katlupe

Senior Member
Location
NY
I don't know about the dating sites, but meeting a man or woman online should really start out as becoming friends with no intention of dating. Just friends. Have someone to talk to. Get to know him or her. If you start to look forward to talking to them or get that feeling you want to meet them.........then you can start it in that direction. For me personally, looks does not matter if I really like the person. No, I was not always that way when I was younger, but you learn things as you get older. A sense of humor is what I discovered matters a lot to me. And respect for me. I could not have found a more perfect relationship if I had gone out looking for it. It just turned out that way.
 

Packerjohn

Packerjohn
Location
Canada
I don't know about the dating sites, but meeting a man or woman online should really start out as becoming friends with no intention of dating. Just friends. Have someone to talk to. Get to know him or her. If you start to look forward to talking to them or get that feeling you want to meet them.........then you can start it in that direction. For me personally, looks does not matter if I really like the person. No, I was not always that way when I was younger, but you learn things as you get older. A sense of humor is what I discovered matters a lot to me. And respect for me. I could not have found a more perfect relationship if I had gone out looking for it. It just turned out that way.
Very good advice. I wish more people thought the way you do. There would be less disappointments & heartaches.
 


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