Dating After 50

I totally understand your feelings on this. My daughter was married for 10 years then divorced. She said the dating world has totally changed in that time. She had met her ex-husband through gradate classes at the university. Now, she is working from home and the only way to "find" guys to date is through the dating sites. She has been doing this for a couple of years now without much success and hates this way of meeting and dating guys.

I feel the world is going backwards with regards to communication and social interaction. Every thing is virtual now. It makes me wonder where we will be in 10, 20, 50 years from now?

Wow, we have a lot of people with daughters over 50!!!.
 

If you're married I would hope you would not be on any dating sites.

When I used them a few years back I was shocked at how many married women are on dating sites. They had all sorts of excuses "I am only married on paper", "It's just a legal necessity", "My marriage is dead except for the law", and so on. I finally had to put a warning in my profile that made it clear I was looking for 'legally single' partners. Of course, I was also legally single. I did not date until almost two years after my divorce. In retrospect, I guess I should't have been surprised given my ex-wife's behavior in the last three years of our marriage.
I have a friend (aquaintance) who was on SEVERAL dating sites while she was married. She fell in love with one man who needed money to get out of England (!!??!!??) $2000. She sent it it to him and after a month he wanted to return it to her. He suggested she give him her bank account number so he could just do a transfer WIRE so it wouldn't be noticed by her husband.
She did that and the next day she checked at the bank to see it it was returned. He had wiped out her entire account, her husband's business account and their joint account! Her husband divorced her.
Oh, I'm not done. She went BACK on the dating sites! This happened a year later with a man from Nigeria. She showed me his picture, tall, caucasian, bearded, really handsome! I said,"That's not him! That's a fake picture!"
She replyed,
"No, That's really him! and he loves me! but he needs money to get out of Nigeria!"

Honest to God!
 
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If you're married I would hope you would not be on any dating sites.

When I used them a few years back I was shocked at how many married women are on dating sites. They had all sorts of excuses "I am only married on paper", "It's just a legal necessity", "My marriage is dead except for the law", and so on. I finally had to put a warning in my profile that made it clear I was looking for 'legally single' partners. Of course, I was also legally single. I did not date until almost two years after my divorce. In retrospect, I guess I should't have been surprised given my ex-wife's behavior in the last three years of our marriage.
I am widowed ..(ugh I really do not like that word). Personally, I agree with you that married people do not belong on dating sites but I I am trying to be open to everyone's beliefs and opinions. I am trying to be nonjudgmental and accept what I may not approve of others find acceptable.
 

I have a friend (aquaintance) who was on SEVERAL dating sites while she was married. She fell in love with one man who needed money to get out of England (!!??!!??) $2000. She sent it it to him and after a month he wanted to return it to her. He suggested she give him her bank account number so he could just do a transfer WIRE so it wouldn't be noticed by her husband.
She did that and the next day she checked at the bank to see it it was returned. He had wiped out her entire account, her husband's business account and their joint account! Her husband divorced her.
Oh, I'm not done. She went BACK on the dating sites! This happened a year later with a man from Nigeria. She showed me his picture, tall, caucasian, bearded, really handsome! I said,"That's not him! That's a fake picture!"
She replyed,
"No, That's really him! and he loves me! but he needs money to get out of Nigeria!"
What a terrible story. But, I should mention that I have met some very fine women on dating sites. And a friend of mine is about to marry a gal he met. She is a jewel. It's a shame the married cheaters and liars, have to mess up the sites, but we cannot let these people run our lives. Frankly, if all the sites were closed forever, the jerks, theives and liars will find another way to hurt their victims.

Take it slow and careful. Don't bet the farm. Keep your independence.
 
I totally understand your feelings on this. My daughter was married for 10 years then divorced. She said the dating world has totally changed in that time. She had met her ex-husband through gradate classes at the university. Now, she is working from home and the only way to "find" guys to date is through the dating sites. She has been doing this for a couple of years now without much success and hates this way of meeting and dating guys.

I feel the world is going backwards with regards to communication and social interaction. Every thing is virtual now. It makes me wonder where we will be in 10, 20, 50 years from now?

I too feel the world is going backwards in communication and social interaction........ sounds like a old west mail order bride...... exchanging letters without the true picture of what you are getting in to.

This meet online....... More often then not people only sharing the highlights the good points ....... edit every utterance ability ...... framing your comments more carefully ....... perhaps very positive pictures ......if they even use their own.

When meeting in person you get body language you see the best and worst. ......less time to think form your responses. maybe see their friends and others and notice how they interact with others ....... you get NONE of that on line.

I recently read TIPS from a FRIEND Match site / NOT a dating site .............
it was alarming they made it seem if you choose to meet in person be prepared for things.......... like make sure another person knows where you are the entire time........do not go alone and meet in public place.......
these are actually on their site ..... telling you do not use your real name and never tell them where you live...

Who do THEY think is using their site?

i think it is easy to perhaps share too much or think you feel something more if you are lonely and the person on the other side of the screen fills a void ..... sparks your imagination ...chats with you when others are not .. but real life is far more complicated.
 
I was chatting with a man at a dating site and I guess I took too long, in his opinion, to try to get to know him. He quit chatting with me. I find many of the guys who contact me want to go off the site right away. The site warns not to do go off the site with the person too quickly.

So, now I am chatting with 3 other guys there trying to get to know them and decide if I want to meet any of them.

I want to meet someone but am not desperate and do okay on my own, too.


Is anyone else dating or trying to date at this age?
Been there, done that and subsequently bought a dog. Good luck :)
 
I too feel the world is going backwards in communication and social interaction........ sounds like a old west mail order bride...... exchanging letters without the true picture of what you are getting in to.

This meet online....... More often then not people only sharing the highlights the good points ....... edit every utterance ability ...... framing your comments more carefully ....... perhaps very positive pictures ......if they even use their own.

When meeting in person you get body language you see the best and worst. ......less time to think form your responses. maybe see their friends and others and notice how they interact with others ....... you get NONE of that on line.

I recently read TIPS from a FRIEND Match site / NOT a dating site .............
it was alarming they made it seem if you choose to meet in person be prepared for things.......... like make sure another person knows where you are the entire time........do not go alone and meet in public place.......
these are actually on their site ..... telling you do not use your real name and never tell them where you live...

Who do THEY think is using their site?

i think it is easy to perhaps share too much or think you feel something more if you are lonely and the person on the other side of the screen fills a void ..... sparks your imagination ...chats with you when others are not .. but real life is far more complicated.
Just because it's not a dating site doesn't mean that sexual predators aren't gonna go there. That is why they tell you those things. But it won't keep them from following you home.
 
Just because it's not a dating site doesn't mean that sexual predators aren't gonna go there. That is why they tell you those things. But it won't keep them from following you home.
this is what is wrong as i am sure many people would like to have people to chat with or make friends but too many psychos spoil everything....
I think most people know the items they wrote as tips.( common sense) ..................

. but they were so strong about it probably deterred more normal people from even attempting to use their site...............thought of a package on snacks saying warning can make you FAT ....true but not your best marketing tool.
 
this is what is wrong as i am sure many people would like to have people to chat with or make friends but too many psychos spoil everything....
I think most people know the items they wrote as tips.( common sense) ..................

. but they were so strong about it probably deterred more normal people from even attempting to use their site...............thought of a package on snacks saying warning can make you FAT ....true but not your best marketing tool.
probably trying to avoid lawsuits.

it would be nice to have a place to make friends but you're right...the psychos wreck it.
 
Is anyone else dating or trying to date at this age?



I gave up on dating a long time ago. The few women who took any interest in me were highly neurotic and were over sexed or psycho. Yuck. I have no use for garbage like that. Only a small handful of desirable women took some slight interest in me - intellectual types who saw me as witty and as an intellectual equal. But these quickly got tired of me when they learned they made more money than I did. Sadly, I never found any use for the two degrees I got in college and law school. Lived out my life in poverty roaming from menial job to menial job. Women don't like that kind of stuff but that's the way it is all too often.
 
I have a friend (aquaintance) who was on SEVERAL dating sites while she was married. She fell in love with one man who needed money to get out of England (!!??!!??) $2000. She sent it it to him and after a month he wanted to return it to her. He suggested she give him her bank account number so he could just do a transfer WIRE so it wouldn't be noticed by her husband.
She did that and the next day she checked at the bank to see it it was returned. He had wiped out her entire account, her husband's business account and their joint account! Her husband divorced her.
Oh, I'm not done. She went BACK on the dating sites! This happened a year later with a man from Nigeria. She showed me his picture, tall, caucasian, bearded, really handsome! I said,"That's not him! That's a fake picture!"
She replyed,
"No, That's really him! and he loves me! but he needs money to get out of Nigeria!"

Honest to God!
There’s soooo many people out there being scammed like this. You’d think / hope something would click .... , maybe not intuition but just a tad of common sense but their wants, desires and emotions over ride any common sense. I sincerely feel so bad for people I see in these situations. They often lose their entire life savings and all to people who don’t give a damn about them. So incredibly sad.
 
I gave up on dating a long time ago. The few women who took any interest in me were highly neurotic and were over sexed or psycho. Yuck. I have no use for garbage like that. Only a small handful of desirable women took some slight interest in me - intellectual types who saw me as witty and as an intellectual equal. But these quickly got tired of me when they learned they made more money than I did. Sadly, I never found any use for the two degrees I got in college and law school. Lived out my life in poverty roaming from menial job to menial job. Women don't like that kind of stuff but that's the way it is all too often.
Sadly our world is heading deeper and farther into the abyss of greed, materialism, and relationships for all the wrong reasons.

Seems it's not so much about love anymore as it is, what's in it for me.
 
If you're married I would hope you would not be on any dating sites.

When I used them a few years back I was shocked at how many married women are on dating sites. They had all sorts of excuses "I am only married on paper", "It's just a legal necessity", "My marriage is dead except for the law", and so on. I finally had to put a warning in my profile that made it clear I was looking for 'legally single' partners. Of course, I was also legally single. I did not date until almost two years after my divorce. In retrospect, I guess I should't have been surprised given my ex-wife's behavior in the last three years of our marriage.
Marriage means different things to different people. Sometimes when you scratch the surface there are more people than you would think who are in miserable marriages so not surprised so many on dating sites are married, but carry on with the charade as to them marriage is a badge of honour. They look at me in a pitiful manner when I say I am single as if they are somehow superiour. Marriage is only worth it when the person you are married to is the love of your life and nothing less. So better to be single and avoid dating sites. Like I said before get a dog as they really are 100% faithful.
 
The dating world is like pro-sports world. Filled with people who don't play the game but think they are experts.

I must admit I am saddened by the amount of cynicism I read here. Most of the women I have met via online sites have been wonderful people. Granted, they were not right for me, nor I for them, but that does not detract from their virtues. Or mine.
 
Intimacy,sexual play,tenderness, the desire for seduction: all are important parts of a relationship.
Don't you think we're all a bit licentious after being shut up in our homes alone for all this time, because of the virus?
Because one is sexual doesn't mean they don't respond or love, music, art, philosophy, literature, physics, and have a thousand other interests.
It's an important part of a relationship IMO, but certainly not the most important.
What is INSIDE a person is of course, the quality of their SOUL, is the MOST important thing!
 
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The dating world is like pro-sports world. Filled with people who don't play the game but think they are experts.

I must admit I am saddened by the amount of cynicism I read here. Most of the women I have met via online sites have been wonderful people. Granted, they were not right for me, nor I for them, but that does not detract from their virtues. Or mine.
I’ve been on dating sites and have never had any trouble weeding out the creeps and opportunists. The several relationships that evolved as a result were all good experiences. Good, kind men, willing to take weeks for us to get to know each other online before we met in person, and also completely ok with arranging the first few meetings very publicly so I felt safe. Even though we ultimately weren’t right for each other, I am still friends with two of the men, one of whom eventually found his love and they’re married now.

Anyone I chatted with on those sites who wanted to meet immediately and were put off by my insistence that we take our time, I just didn’t continue with. We obviously had very different agendas.
 
I met a few decent men online, video chat with them at first before we met in person. I can truthfully say that not all men are players nor do they like to hurt women. I realized that even though they're good men but if we're not on the same page in meeting our needs, we stop seeing each other. No harm, no foul. These men have good communication skills, we say what we mean and answer questions directly. I am grateful to them for teaching me how to effectively communicate with them.

A friend who's a relationship coach once told me to reveal my authentic self, IOW, just be me. The right man for me will get it and continue to pursue me because he wants me in his life. With that, I'm not pressured to impress him, he sees and values my worth as I am.
 
Most of the women I have met via online sites have been wonderful people. Granted, they were not right for me, nor I for them, but that does not detract from their virtues. Or mine.
We may be the outliers here due to our positive dating experiences. I understand those who've become cynical and salty when it comes to relationships especially if the ones they attract are the ones they abhor. We should look deeper into ourselves if we're attracting the wrong men or women.

For those who still seek love in their life, they have to be open to let love in. For those who say they're done with love, then love becomes elusive to them. Words and thoughts are powerful.
 
I have just got around to reading this entire thread and all the comments contained therein. At my age of 88 tender years, I am lucky I can even say date much less consider undertaking going on one. However, let me say this, when I look at some young fellas today with my experienced eye, they look quite delectable to me compared to how I looked at them when I was the same age as they. Funny how back in the day, an older or rather, more mature man was appealing to me and today and good looking young dude is a delight to behold. Something about us wanting to deny our end is coming I guess or whatever. But older men, in my age bracket don't even get a passing glance from me. At any rate, I've had a great time and my hubby was one handsome dude as is our son for which I am grateful. I'll raise a glass in a toast to you all who are still seeking love with Mr. or Ms. Right and God bless you all. But like a couple of others here I and my companionable doggie are happy as clams.
 

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