Dating After 50

Ladybj

Senior Member
I have known two men whose dying wives virtually directed them to marry a woman that they picked out for them. In both cases, the women were long time friends and they knew them very well and in both cases they were good matches. I still cannot wrap my head around this, but it is hard to argue with success. In both cases the husband's remarried within a year just like they were instructed.
I don't know if the wives felt that their husbands could not function without a woman, or if they felt that their friend needed the economic security that their husbands could provide, … or both.
I have never heard of a dying man doing this, but I suppose it happens as well.
Is this romantic or just weird?
It's rare that it will work out. Long story short, I have a older cousin Sue- she was friends with Mary and Dave they were married. Sue had just married Gary - not even married a month. Mary and Dave had 2 small children. Mary and Gary were killed in an auto accident. Sue and Dave married - marriage did not last. I can see why.. they were all close friends. Dave end up re-married.. broke my cousin heart. But they did have a daughter together which the daughter is grown with two adult young men.
 

Ladybj

Senior Member
I don't know about the dating sites, but meeting a man or woman online should really start out as becoming friends with no intention of dating. Just friends. Have someone to talk to. Get to know him or her. If you start to look forward to talking to them or get that feeling you want to meet them.........then you can start it in that direction. For me personally, looks does not matter if I really like the person. No, I was not always that way when I was younger, but you learn things as you get older. A sense of humor is what I discovered matters a lot to me. And respect for me. I could not have found a more perfect relationship if I had gone out looking for it. It just turned out that way.
A sense of humor and respect are on the top of my list. Love your post - ON POINT!!!!
 

Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
I don't know about the dating sites, but meeting a man or woman online should really start out as becoming friends with no intention of dating. Just friends. Have someone to talk to. Get to know him or her. If you start to look forward to talking to them or get that feeling you want to meet them.........then you can start it in that direction. For me personally, looks does not matter if I really like the person. No, I was not always that way when I was younger, but you learn things as you get older. A sense of humor is what I discovered matters a lot to me. And respect for me. I could not have found a more perfect relationship if I had gone out looking for it. It just turned out that way.
I chatted with a lot of men at the dating sites online and none of them wants to chat for more than a day before they want to date and then they don't want to date very long before they want to hop in the bed and I know this because they have told me that.

And I feel the same way as you do that a relationship should start off by by talking to one one another for quite some time to get to know each other but it doesn't work that way on online dating sites and that's why I've given up on them.

I really don't care that much if I meet anyone or not anymore as I'm thoroughly disgusted with the experiences I had with the dating sites and I only had two dates in the whole time that I tried and I tried for quite a while.

If I ever do meet someone it won't be online that's for sure or at least I really don't think so.
 

MickaC

Senior Member
Location
Manitoba, Canada
Haven't waisted much time on these so called "Dating Sites".......maybe more for amusement if anything.
These sites promise the world....stars.....sky to you....but only if you give them money.
The male clients' profile makes them out to be Mr. America.
I'm assuming the female clients are Miss America.
Both state they have every positive trait and personality.
DREAM WORLD.
@katlupe You're thinking of wanting quality friendship to start is the best way to start.
But
As you said, the men want more instantly.....and some being very rude.....maybe on the female side, it's the same.
Does anyone have the good old fashioned values.
 

hellomimi

Namaste 🙏
Location
City of Angels
I work for an organization that has lots of senior volunteers. It's often busy at sites we offer covid19 testing. There's this guy who is a member of the board of directors of the most prestigious university in Socal. He's a widower, no kids. I usually take time to greet and small talk with everyone so that's how we met. I said that because of hundreds of them I meet on different sites, I can't remember anyone that stood out I take that back....there's one Italian guy, drop dead gorgeous that caught my attention and the kids all thought he liked me!
Back to the member of the board, last Friday was my last day at a site. He came up to me and said, "You are loved by everyone with your sweet feminine energy.....but you're very special to me." Gosh! I blushed (thank God for N95s)I didn't know what to say. When a high value man tells me this, how can I not believe in myself? 🤭 He said he got my number and will keep in touch. We'll see...but if the Italian gets to me quicker....umm I have a problem Houston! 😝😎
 

dasbill725

New Member
Location
Columbia, SC
I tried Facebook dating briefly and met a promising young lady for friendship, well she was a couple of years older than me, met a few times for dinner and talking (great conversation!) walking the park. Then all of a sudden she drops off the radar for about a week. I called her. She didn't have to tell me but I'm glad she did that she just found out she had contracted herpes from a previous recent relationship. It does not change who she is on the inside but I did have to make a decision. I just retired early, had been faithful through a handful of unfortunate divorces, but will continue to look for the right one. In the meantime I'm not really going to look per se but just pray on it and do my own thing. I've never been possessive, have never did drugs or over-drank, or touched my mates in a harmful manner, yelled, lashed out in anger, etc. I made a good wage in IT. Not sure why they've become disenfranchised with our marriage but I loved the few with all my heart. Biding my time and living my own life for now. Dating. Geez.
 

dasbill725

New Member
Location
Columbia, SC
I tried Facebook dating briefly and met a promising young lady for friendship, well she was a couple of years older than me, met a few times for dinner and talking (great conversation!) walking the park. Then all of a sudden she drops off the radar for about a week. I called her. She didn't have to tell me but I'm glad she did that she just found out she had contracted herpes from a previous recent relationship. It does not change who she is on the inside but I did have to make a decision. I just retired early, had been faithful through a handful of unfortunate divorces, but will continue to look for the right one. In the meantime I'm not really going to look per se but just pray on it and do my own thing. I've never been possessive, have never did drugs or over-drank, or touched my mates in a harmful manner, yelled, lashed out in anger, etc. I made a good wage in IT. Not sure why they've become disenfranchised with our marriage but I loved the few with all my heart. Biding my time and living my own life for now. Dating. Geez.
😅
 

TabbyAnn

Member
Location
Indiana USA
No way. I've heard so much about these men on dating sites. They just want someone to go to bed with. That's all.
That has been my experience as well. It’s a universal problem and a scientific fact that men in general don’t have as many brain cells in the communication area of the brain as women. Men are looking for a physical connection and women are looking for a mental connection. So a connection requires a little compromise on both sides. But of course the other person has to be worthy of compromise and if they won’t communicate it’s hard to know if they are worthy or not.
 

Kathleen’s Place

Senior Member
Location
Wisconsin
I haven’t any personal experience with on line dating sites, but know others who have. No oneI know has met Mr Right on there, but they do so enjoy the chatting etc and I think more power to you!” As long as you are careful, as I am sure you are, I think it would be kind of fun! I know so many single men, 75+ ages, and not a one of them has any desire to get married, but would love to have someone to do things with...a female friend. I don’t think any of the guys I know go on dating sites...or don’t admit that they do, which is to bad! Keep looking, and I hope you find someone, because I KNOW they are out there! 😊
 

Ruthanne

SF VIP
Location
Midwest
I haven’t any personal experience with on line dating sites, but know others who have. No oneI know has met Mr Right on there, but they do so enjoy the chatting etc and I think more power to you!” As long as you are careful, as I am sure you are, I think it would be kind of fun! I know so many single men, 75+ ages, and not a one of them has any desire to get married, but would love to have someone to do things with...a female friend. I don’t think any of the guys I know go on dating sites...or don’t admit that they do, which is to bad! Keep looking, and I hope you find someone, because I KNOW they are out there! 😊
Thank you but I no longer have the desire to look and especially not on dating sites. I've had no good luck on them. I also no longer have the energy (mental or physical) to go through the dating "ropes." But thanks for replying to this thread. ;)
 
I fear for my two young daughters. Tinder and other hook-up apps seem to have made hook-ups the norm. I’ve over heard young people (both women and men) talk about how they “hooked-up” with someone the night before and that was that. They meet, have sex and then continue on looking for others. I can see this being fun for a short while but I would think it would lead to a life of high expectations and furthermore, loneliness. These young people who I’ve heard talk like this base everything on looks, without knowing if that person is a good person or not. I know not all young people are like this, same for not all old folk are not like this. It just makes me sad to think my daughters are both going to start dating in the next 10 years and this is the environment they will be exposed to.
 
Last edited:

Brookswood

Member
I’ve found the beat way to meet women is to go about living life, and letting them come to me. and I suppose, I go to them at the same time. These COVID times that’s a problem, but normally it’s just getting out of the house and doing something fun. Share a common interest, learn something about her, and see where it goes or doesn’t go.

You can’t control other people.
 

Kathleen’s Place

Senior Member
Location
Wisconsin
I have heard of many older couples meeting on line. Like anything else in this world, there are dangers. But, if you are savvy of all of the schemes and careful...which is sounds like you definitely are...then wishing you so much good luck with this 💕. There are so many good men out there, who are looking for what you are, and are just as nervous about being on a dating website. You just have to find each other. Like Momma used to say, “You have to kiss a few frogs before you meet your Prince Charming!”
Keep us informed how it’s going 🥰
 

Kathleen’s Place

Senior Member
Location
Wisconsin
I agree that a person needs to be careful with online dating (or any other kind, probably), and take time before you meet someone to get to know them well enough with writing, to think that you might enjoy being with them in person.
I belonged to a Christian website, and met my husband there almost 17 years ago. Neither one of us were really trying to find someone to marry, we just wanted someone to talk with and share our day to day lives with online emails.

He lived at one end of the country, and I lived on the other end, in North Idaho, (3 hour time difference) so I had to get up really early to “visit” with Bobby on Yahoo chat in the mornings, and I worked until late and then had to feed the horses and milk the goat before I was back inside the house, so he had to stay up late at night to visit with me then.
He was the director of a small Men’s Rescue Mission and couldn’t get away, so when I had a chance to go out and see him, I flew out to meet Bobby, and ended up staying, helping him with the homeless ministry, and then we got married.
I was in my late 50’s when we first started corresponding with each other, and I had talked with his pastor before I ever went out to North Carolina to meet him in person.
He is the best husband a person could ever have, and marrying Bobby was one of the best decisions I ever made.
So, I think that meeting someone online can work out, but you have to be careful and be sure that you know the person , and spend time writing with each other first.
If someone doesn’t want to take the time for long, earnest conversations with you online, then they probably are not going to be very good conversationalists after you meet them, either.
So, if communication is important , then be sure to find someone else who wants to communicate, too.
I loved your story, Flower Lady ❤️ So glad you two found each other💕💕🌹💕💕
 
I have heard of many older couples meeting on line. Like anything else in this world, there are dangers. But, if you are savvy of all of the schemes and careful...which is sounds like you definitely are...then wishing you so much good luck with this 💕. There are so many good men out there, who are looking for what you are, and are just as nervous about being on a dating website. You just have to find each other. Like Momma used to say, “You have to kiss a few frogs before you meet your Prince Charming!”
Keep us informed how it’s going 🥰
Only a few? :LOL:
 

Uptosnuff

Member
I fear for my two young daughters. Tinder and other hook-up apps seem to have made hook-ups the norm. I’ve over heard young people (both women and men) talk about how they “hooked-up” with someone the night before and that was that. They meet, have sex and then continue on looking for others. I can see this being fun for a short while but I would think it would lead to a life of high expectations and furthermore, loneliness. These young people who I’ve heard talk like this base everything on looks, without knowing if that person is a good person or not. I know not all young people are like this, same for not all old folk are not like this. It just makes me sad to think my daughters are both going to start dating in the next 10 years and this is the environment they will be exposed to.
I totally understand your feelings on this. My daughter was married for 10 years then divorced. She said the dating world has totally changed in that time. She had met her ex-husband through gradate classes at the university. Now, she is working from home and the only way to "find" guys to date is through the dating sites. She has been doing this for a couple of years now without much success and hates this way of meeting and dating guys.

I feel the world is going backwards with regards to communication and social interaction. Every thing is virtual now. It makes me wonder where we will be in 10, 20, 50 years from now?
 

Serenity4321

New Member
Location
Florida
I don't need all that drama in my life. I have no desire to cater to, cook for or clean up after anyone other than myself ever again. Period.
Awwww but maybe you could find someone to cater, cook and clean for you:unsure:
LOL ok.... jk..

I have never been on a dating site and doubt I will ....well except maybe out of curiosity. I know a lot of people have met their significant others on sites but since I was married before the internet I never considered them.
 

Brookswood

Member
Awwww but maybe you could find someone to cater, cook and clean for you:unsure:
LOL ok.... jk..

I have never been on a dating site and doubt I will ....well except maybe out of curiosity. I know a lot of people have met their significant others on sites but since I was married before the internet I never considered them.
If you're married I would hope you would not be on any dating sites.

When I used them a few years back I was shocked at how many married women are on dating sites. They had all sorts of excuses "I am only married on paper", "It's just a legal necessity", "My marriage is dead except for the law", and so on. I finally had to put a warning in my profile that made it clear I was looking for 'legally single' partners. Of course, I was also legally single. I did not date until almost two years after my divorce. In retrospect, I guess I should't have been surprised given my ex-wife's behavior in the last three years of our marriage.
 

Last edited:

Top