Dating After 50

Marlene

Member
Location
Delaware, Ohio
I think this may be more common than one would think. My daughter's in-laws went through this very thing. Her mother-in-law was dying and told her husband to marry their long-time friend of the family. He did, not very long after she died. I was invited to their house for a holiday and went. The new wife seemed very nice but if I was my son-in-law, it would have been very hard to accept.
Just the thought of that feels very creepy, smarmy. . .something quite distasteful to me. No thank you. I'll pick my own or decide to stay on my own, but to have someone tell me who to marry or even that I had to marry. . .UGH. Creepy.
 

A common misperception is that men merely want sex, or later on, someone to keep house
for them or "a nurse with a purse". Well, plenty of guys, including me, do NOT
want that. We are not all out to take advantage of you. In fact, I am concerned
that they would take advantage of me.
Ladies want someone to take them to dinner, be a
gentleman and ask for nothing in return, except conversation, and many senior men will
oblige and do this. That's not my POV.
Just because someone wants to date a nurse, for example, should not imply it is
for health reasons, to take care of him. I got hit on another forum once for that.
To the OP, caveat emptor --online dating is very illusory.
I agree with this.

I've thought of finding someone(s) to have a casual friendship with, just to do stuff every once in a while...nothing more. I've done tons of stuff on my own throughout my life (I don't mind eating out or going to events on my own), but it's usually more fun with someone else. My problem is I don't trust the motives of others, and I don't want a mess. Some number of men and women are users...it just manifests itself in different ways. Then there are those who are stuck in matchmaker mode and think that every single male is a target for their unattached friends (I wonder if women experience this to any degree) which makes me less inclined to even take one step in this direction.

Except for a few fleeting relationships here and there and an 18 month-long marriage almost 40 years ago, I've always been on my own. I've never even had a roommate. At 65, I can't see any reason to rock this boat.

There's always danger in comparing the reality we know to the fantasy of "what if."
 
aT 71, I am glad to be past all this....I am alone with my dog and my truck. I just miss the diner for morning breakfast.
I recently got invited to a group of men my age that call themselves the "ROMEO" group:

Really
Old
Men
Eating
Out

We meet for breakfast once a month at the local IHOP. I had my first breakfast with them in March, then The Virus hit. I'd do it more often than that if they were so inclined.

So you hit your diner regularly? There's a small mom & pop pizza/subs place in town I hang out at that I miss ("Mom" only speaks Italian.)
 

Gaer

Pursue what sets your soul on fire!
I recently got invited to a group of men my age that call themselves the "ROMEO" group:

Really
Old
Men
Eating
Out

We meet for breakfast once a month at the local IHOP. I had my first breakfast with them in March, then The Virus hit. I'd do it more often than that if they were so inclined.

So you hit your diner regularly? There's a small mom & pop pizza/subs place in town I hang out at that I miss ("Mom" only speaks Italian.)
I don't know. I lunched with some women my age and found them OLD! They were OLD! complaining,critical,gossipy. I like MEN! REAL MEN! but they are hard to find too! REAL men, I mean!
 

Gaer

Pursue what sets your soul on fire!
Oh, You would ask me that! Stands behind his word, his own value system, his own moral code, a man's man, doesn't follow the herd, intelligent, won't take any crap, rugged spirit, stands tall and unafraid, outdoor, likes the wild, comfident, stands alone, a blend of strength and tenderness, adventurous spirit, makes his own path and walks it.

Radish Rose: Age is not chronological to me. It's a culture of the spirit! it's what you feel inside! it's an aliveness!
 

El Wapo

New Member
I think online dating sites is one of the best inventions after the wheel, it could let you find that perfect needle in the haystack. If it works!

It would work perfectly if the posters did not post old photos, lied about what they are like, and lie about what they're looking for. I tried a few times and the last time, when I was 59, this guy said that he liked to hike and ''explore'' and had no problem in the sex department. Exactly what I was looking for! After I met him, all he wanted to do was drink coffee and talk and had no libido and was impotent and had no desire to hike or explore. He was attractive physically and had a nice shape, tall and slim, but had no teeth and refused to wear dentures, I had trouble understanding him. He was too lazy to clean his small apartment or wash dishes and paid his daughter to do it for him. After a few dates I ended it and gave up trying to find someone and have never dated again. That guy was the ''straw that broke the camel's back'' as far as I was concerned.
I am sorry about that man. He hurts all of the men that would like to find a nice lady and just spend quality time with each other. I am a man that while I do enjoy mindfulness sex and its been a long time for me that I have had sex. However companion is the most important. Hugs kisses cuddling just talking is what I miss the most. If sex comes around I feel that we nmust have connected. Being in love is so important to me.
 

El Wapo

New Member
I am never going to stop dating. I like men. I like being around men. I'm a pretty good judge of character and if I feel as if I can trust someone I'll most definitely spend time with them. Just because I'm aging doesn't mean that I am done with men. Never!
Thank you!
 
I am sorry about that man. He hurts all of the men that would like to find a nice lady and just spend quality time with each other. I am a man that while I do enjoy mindfulness sex and its been a long time for me that I have had sex. However companion is the most important. Hugs kisses cuddling just talking is what I miss the most. If sex comes around I feel that we nmust have connected. Being in love is so important to me.
I'll second that. I must have a context; otherwise, what's the point?

"Intimacy with strangers" is a contradiction in terms.
 
I have never been married, but I have dated many men over the years and several after the age of 50. I have never used a dating site, but don't think anything wrong with them. I am the type who also likes to take time in getting to know the men I meet before really jumping into something. I like a lot of conversation on the phone or nowadays texting before a date would be set up. The initial meeting for me usually happens when I would go out for drinks with my lady friends and a gentlemen would approach me. We would have small talk and eventually exchange numbers if things lead to that.
 

hellomimi

Namaste 🙏
Location
City of Angels
Oh, You would ask me that! Stands behind his word, his own value system, his own moral code, a man's man, doesn't follow the herd, intelligent, won't take any crap, rugged spirit, stands tall and unafraid, outdoor, likes the wild, comfident, stands alone, a blend of strength and tenderness, adventurous spirit, makes his own path and walks it.

Radish Rose: Age is not chronological to me. It's a culture of the spirit! it's what you feel inside! it's an aliveness!
Your idea of a real man is one that's rare, if non existent, these days. There will be some who will *think* they fit your description...but their perception does not match reality.

It's challenging, although not entirely impossible, to find people who focus on "inner beauty" rather than just physical beauty.

Some people, especially seniors, would say they are just looking for companionship so they'll appear harmless but that is far from the truth. Both men and women should exercise good judgment dealing with them; words are cheap.
 

hellomimi

Namaste 🙏
Location
City of Angels
I am sorry about that man. He hurts all of the men that would like to find a nice lady and just spend quality time with each other. I am a man that while I do enjoy mindfulness sex and its been a long time for me that I have had sex. However companion is the most important. Hugs kisses cuddling just talking is what I miss the most. If sex comes around I feel that we nmust have connected. Being in love is so important to me.
Mindfulness sex is what it should be, but sad to say, many people might not even be aware of this concept. This is not just physical connection, but more of connecting of souls. Far from "just getting laid."
 
Not only do you have to be careful with people, the online dating sites can have an unscrupulous/unethical side too. I was off one dating site for several months when suddenly I started getting emails like "Joe looked at your profile!" or "Jim messaged you." Long story short, this dating site had taken elements from my previous profile, added things of their own making, and posted it as "me." And there was no way I could take it down.
 

Patros

New Member
Personally I couldn’t be bothered. Really happy just having a few good friends of my own gender. A close relative went on a dating site after he was widowed. Well he was a sitting duck as he had a nice home and was quite well off. He met a lady and within two months she’d moved in. We all made her welcome as he seemed happy but it was only a matter of time before she managed to turn him against us. His family were superfluous to her needs. Well hopefully his money will last the distance what with all the luxury travel, European river cruises etc. Anyway my point is, just be careful who you meet and what their motives are.
 

hellomimi

Namaste 🙏
Location
City of Angels
I've tried going the companionship route but, usually once they find out that sex is off the table that's it. They B gone.
Have you considered men with ED, they will probably be interested since they're not expected to perform? It's not rare to find someone with ED, although they'd keep it a secret.

I remember a discussion I had with mom when she was complaining about my stepdad who was sexually pre-occupied in his early 70s. I told her that it was part of what she signed up for. 🤭 At least he still found her very desirable then. I volunteered to buy her an instructional video for their enjoyment. She was red as a beet, never thought I'd give such advice. ☺😛🤭
 


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