Extreme old age

treeguy64 said:
I know how I'm going to go, accidents notwithstanding. I don't like the "feel" of assisted suicide. I don't want some stranger doing anything to help me end my life, in some clinical setting. That just creeps me out. If things go my way, I'll bow out, my way. Also, the thought of dying "surrounded by friends and family," creeps me out, even more. I think dogs and cats have the right idea: Seek out an isolated, dark, comfortable place, and meet death in that location.
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I agree with you. It sounds like the ideal way to go, especially to me since I'm basically a loner anyway. I once had a cat that was very sick and the vet told me to prevent it from going and staying under the bed because then it would give up and die. He said wild animals do that, find a dark and safe place, to avoid predators and have time to heal or die.
 
Sunny said:
When I read obituary notices that often say "died surrounded by his/her loving family," I always get a bit skeptical. It sounds like patients' rooms in hospitals and nursing homes are filled with loving, caring relatives, providing emotional support up to the patient's peaceful last breath. From what I've observed in both kinds of places, that is not really the norm. Most patients seem to be alone, in a drug-induced sleep. Where are all those loving relatives?

Of course if they die at home, that's probably more likely.
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If those 'loving' families had spent more time in the hospital or dr's office with their loved one while they were actually being treated there probably wouldn't be a need for 'the final day'.
 

One of the issues I noticed around me is many seniors health issues are the easy part. It's being confronted with their children's issues wether it be health, financial or social. That includes their children getting hooked on drugs or alcohol, getting terminal diseases like cancer, have job and financial issues. Longer life spans means a greater chance of having to deal with issues they could've been shielded from or eluded decades ago. I know one is just coming to terms there are addicts, alcoholics and soap opera issue plagued family members.

Before if their children had 2.2 kids, a house, picket fence and dog they could call it a life. Now with longer life spans they get see their adult children & family suffer health issues/disease, go through things like addiction, job loss, bankruptcy, criminal behavior etc. That's the tough part for many, it's not just their life/health.
 
Sunny said:
When I read obituary notices that often say "died surrounded by his/her loving family," I always get a bit skeptical. It sounds like patients' rooms in hospitals and nursing homes are filled with loving, caring relatives, providing emotional support up to the patient's peaceful last breath. From what I've observed in both kinds of places, that is not really the norm. Most patients seem to be alone, in a drug-induced sleep. Where are all those loving relatives?

Of course if they die at home, that's probably more likely.
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I believe obits should be kind, but truthful. Some I've seen in recent years- of people I knew- were absolute malarky.
 
Hi There
I am in my ninety first year and have no intentions of giving up yet. What irritates me is all the 'advice' that is given to we older generation by the press and TV. I don,t know if you get the same over there but it really gets to me when they tell us we should eat this, we should not eat that, we should drink this, we should drink that, we should not do this, we should do that.
I eat what I like, I drink what I like and I more or less do what I want, where I want. I still go for long walks using just a plain old walking stick and am in reasonably good health. I did have a massive heart attack about a year ago but does it bother me? Not one little bit. I am enjoying life and intend to do so till I draw my last breath.
 
justfred said:
Hi There
I am in my ninety first year and have no intentions of giving up yet. What irritates me is all the 'advice' that is given to we older generation by the press and TV. I don,t know if you get the same over there but it really gets to me when they tell us we should eat this, we should not eat that, we should drink this, we should drink that, we should not do this, we should do that.
I eat what I like, I drink what I like and I more or less do what I want, where I want. I still go for long walks using just a plain old walking stick and am in reasonably good health. I did have a massive heart attack about a year ago but does it bother me? Not one little bit. I am enjoying life and intend to do so till I draw my last breath.
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You are an inspiration.
 
Sunny said:
I don't think I've ever seen this topic addressed here. I think it might provoke a valuable discussion.

Most of us are not 100 yet, or even close to it. Some may have parents or older siblings in that category. We all say we'd like to live a long life, as long as we are healthy and independent. So, what do we visualize as that life? Realistically, most people in their late 90's or above cannot live alone any longer. So what then?

I think the people in old time China got it right, at least from the point of view of the old folks. They lived with their children and grandchildren, who took care of them until their life ended. Is that a good thing for the modern western world? How feasible is it?

Maybe the best alternatives we have are the "continuing care" communities, with independent living to start with, moving into assisted living, etc.? Yet, as an independent, active person, that doesn't really appeal to me either. I wonder, is there really any good answer?

Sorry to be starting off the day on a downer, today's paper had several articles in the Health section about moving the frail elderly into hospice care, which started me thinking.
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I think that would be a more dignified way to live if family members could manage it financially. However, on the other hand, how many Americans do you know who have any interest in the care of their elders beyond dropping them off at the nearest nursing home and leaving them there to die?
 
Keesha said:
Plus my husband doesn’t share this same viewpoint and is younger than me.
I suppose this is where a living will needs to be made. We have no children .
Anybody else share opposite viewpoints with your significant other ?
If so, what was your solution?
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My husband passed away and I don't have children. My sister, 6 1/2 years younger than I, is the only one I have. She's now my Medical Proxy, and she feels the way your husband does. I can't find a solution because she won't even discuss the topic. My thought is to have enough medication hidden away to take matters into my own hands.
 
I've read through all these posts. Very powerful. Well written. I would not want to be surrounded by family and have them watching the horror show of my death. I also wouldn't want medical professionals making any decisions for me. If I could find a way to quietly leave this earth and still be granted access into heaven, I would likely do that. I have health issues that are going to make my death a struggle. If it gets bad I want an out.
 
Folks, it’s done everyday in hospice, nursing homes and hospitals to terminal patients, just up the morphine, at high doses it impacts the respiratory system and you just don’t breathe.
Aside from being a CNA, I had to sign for my husband to be put on a morphine drip instead of shots, knew the reason and the outcome.
 
I am 87. I do live in an assisted living and there are varying levels of cognizance here. I moved here 13 years ago when I was getting over a serious health issue and having issues with my son and now deceased daughter in law. If I'd stayed at home, my aid was useless and I went through 6 of them before I decided to move here. At first it was fine, but over the years, I have seen indifferent administrations take over. The service has decidedly degraded to indifference. The food is a disgrace. I take care of my own nutritional needs most of the time as I am independent. As time has marched on, I've had physical problems and not mental ones. As for assisted suicide. That is a personal preference and for me a no no.
 
Giantsfan1954 said:
Folks, it’s done everyday in hospice, nursing homes and hospitals to terminal patients, just up the morphine, at high doses it impacts the respiratory system and you just don’t breathe.
Aside from being a CNA, I had to sign for my husband to be put on a morphine drip instead of shots, knew the reason and the outcome.
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@Giantsfan1954, I'm sorry you had to go through making those hard choices about your husband. Never easy, especially for someone you love.

May I just add my two cents as a hospice nurse of 14 years? In the hospices I've worked in, Morphine (either liquid under the tongue or--if the patient's symptoms cannot be managed at home-- via IV in the hospital) is given for two main reasons: to manage pain and to relieve respiratory distress (morphine relaxes the lungs' airways). The patient has usually reached the point in the process of dying where they cannot swallow pills anymore. Granted, a side effect of too much Morphine can be respiratory suppression but hospice's objective is the manage the symptoms as the body goes through the natural process of shutting down; we are not there to hasten the process, only to keep them comfortable.
 
hollydolly said:
I noticed that too Chic, and each time she goes missing I mail her and find out what's wrong.. but I haven't this time, I don't want to become a pest :unsure:
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I understand. It's just strange that she hasn't been posting for awhile. Probably all is well, but we do worry about each other when someone goes missing for a spell.
 
CinnamonSugar said:
@Giantsfan1954, I'm sorry you had to go through making those hard choices about your husband. Never easy, especially for someone you love.

May I just add my two cents as a hospice nurse of 14 years? In the hospices I've worked in, Morphine (either liquid under the tongue or--if the patient's symptoms cannot be managed at home-- via IV in the hospital) is given for two main reasons: to manage pain and to relieve respiratory distress (morphine relaxes the lungs' airways). The patient has usually reached the point in the process of dying where they cannot swallow pills anymore. Granted, a side effect of too much Morphine can be respiratory suppression but hospice's objective is the manage the symptoms as the body goes through the natural process of shutting down; we are not there to hasten the process, only to keep them comfortable.
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Morphine was given to me post-op and I nearly died. Talk about respiratory suppression. Never again. I am leery of any kind of analgesia beyond an aspirin these days. I used to dispense morphine like there was no tomorrow and never saw a reaction like I had. I must be very sensitive. I am difficult to anesthetize for any length of time as well. I've awakened too soon during surgery.
 

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