Finding Love in the Era of Covid

Some women can’t be without a man. My daughter is like that.

A 27 year age gap is huge. Don’t answer this question, except to yourself. Are you quite financially stable or do you appear to be? Something to ponder.
 

Jules said:
Sorry, it’s not the advice you‘d like. Walk away. After one month and you won’t let her move in and she has a tantrum, that’s not a good basis for a relationship.
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Sadly, I have to agree. Sounds like "moving in together" was top of her agenda, hence the "butt pat" signal that she thought would seal the deal. It's a bummer, only gets worse the older we get...
 
Frank, keep your wits about you when you see her tonight and listen closely to what she has to say. Don't make any rash decisions. I am an old lady with a ton of experience, so listen with your brain above your belt. I tell my son the same thing. You are still too new to one another. When the blush of romance cools, then have another chit chat with this gal.
 
As I read this, at least initially, I was thinking ah, he's courting her. I remember one of my serious beaus when I was in my late 30s, after we had been to bed repeatedly, finally said he wanted to court me. I liked that. Unfortunately before he had the chance he developed a fatal illness and was gone. So many relationships are, hi, let's go to bed, or some variation there of. Another guy when I was in my 30s....we dated for three years before we went to bed. We got to know each other. He became my friend and passionate lover. It ended for other reasons. But he was always my friend. There are so many ways this can turn out. Be true to yourself, always.
 
RadishRose said:
I don't have a good feeling about this.

Asking to move in after 4 weeks is bizarre and a 27 year age span is too much, all IMO.

Please be careful.
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I am all for love and romance but I have to agree with you, Radish Rose, about not having a good feeling about this. My daughter (38 yrs old) always reminds me that we are all the product of the decisions we make.

Frank, I wish you luck and I hope you find everlasting love someday. Just be careful.
 
hellomimi said:
It's heaven when you find romance on your menu...

Yes, it's time to discuss boundaries and hopefully, it builds intimacy a notch higher. Good luck Frank!
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It went very well insofar as reaching a mutual understanding. She still doesn't think I'm too old for her but it is marriage she's hoping for in the end. She did finally accept that we're not getting married at any point. She had this idea, a plan I guess (fantasy), that we would eventually open a foster home together (and not too eventually..she was thinking like next summer). Michelle is unable to have children and the ladies in the neighborhood told her all about me and my foster son, and I told her all about him too, so I guess that put this idea in her head. But man oh man, that's a whole lot of commitment; wife, kids, a house, and I'm an old guy with a messed up spine. So anyway, that's off the table...my involvement in it, anyway. I told her since that whole scenario is what she's looking for then she should go for it but she needs to look for a man closer to her age (/with the stamina), like maybe when she goes back to work or after the pandemic - because we do agree about how hard it is to get into a relationship right now.

So, yeah, good talk (albeit long). We're going to keep things status quo for now (keep enjoying each other) knowing it will eventually come to an end. But I have a hunch I'll be seeing less and less of her over the next few weeks and then she'll end it. She was actually pretty sad about it all. But seriously, I can't, especially if it also includes going through the heartache I went through with Collin, multiplied by dozens. No freaking way.
 
Murrmurr said:
It went very well insofar as reaching a mutual understanding. She still doesn't think I'm too old for her but it is marriage she's hoping for in the end. She did finally accept that we're not getting married at any point. She had this idea, a plan I guess (fantasy), that we would eventually open a foster home together (and not too eventually..she was thinking like next summer). Michelle is unable to have children and the ladies in the neighborhood told her all about me and my foster son, and I told her all about him too, so I guess that put this idea in her head. But man oh man, that's a whole lot of commitment; wife, kids, a house, and I'm an old guy with a messed up spine. So anyway, that's off the table...my involvement in it, anyway. I told her since that whole scenario is what she's looking for then she should go for it but she needs to look for a man closer to her age (/with the stamina), like maybe when she goes back to work or after the pandemic - because we do agree about how hard it is to get into a relationship right now.

So, yeah, good talk (albeit long). We're going to keep things status quo for now (keep enjoying each other) knowing it will eventually come to an end. But I have a hunch I'll be seeing less and less of her over the next few weeks and then she'll end it. She was actually pretty sad about it all. But seriously, I can't, especially if it also includes going through the heartache I went through with Collin, multiplied by dozens. No freaking way.
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I'm glad you talked it out and have reached an understanding. Just be aware she still might be hoping to persuade you to her way of thinking and plans. Keep an eye out for that.
 
hellomimi said:
Foster home in summer 2021? Time flies when y'all are having fun so that's like tomorrow brother. 🤭

As long as you're prepared for whatever is coming, go ahead and enjoy each moment now. No one is guaranteed of tomorrow. Hopefully, you'll still end as good friends when she finds the ONE for her.
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Thank you Mimi, I hope so too. And I hope she goes ahead with the foster home idea. They're badly needed and I think it would be fulfilling for her.
 
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