Lonely hearts adverts,........,first drafts!)

I have to say there is a slight disconnect between anyone on the forum believing I might know "What women want", (should such a thing be universal, or women one homogeneous group), with the reality of my chequered love !I've indicating the opposite might be the case. At the same time there is another disconnect, between what I know I want for myself, or need for myself in a partner, and what whoever a more perfect lonely hearts as might turn up for me, or generate interest amongst! :)

Atop all this one needs a "spark" too!
 
grahamg said:
I have to say there is a slight disconnect between anyone on the forum believing I might know "What women want", (should such a thing be universal, or women one homogeneous group), with the reality of my chequered love !I've indicating the opposite might be the case. At the same time there is another disconnect, between what I know I want for myself, or need for myself in a partner, and what whoever a more perfect lonely hearts as might turn up for me, or generate interest amongst! :)

Atop all this one needs a "spark" too!
Click to expand...
I've read that women want to be seen while men want to be trusted. I don't know if that's universally true or not. In my conversations with decent men, a couple of them said it's true. If the woman they're dating sends vibes making them feel they're untrustworthy, they're turned off by that. A woman's trust issues with her ex(s) should not be projected to them w/o basis when they're in the getting to know each other stage. Can you comment on that?
 
hellomimi said:
I've read that women want to be seen while men want to be trusted. I don't know if that's universally true or not. In my conversations with decent men, a couple of them said it's true. If the woman they're dating sends vibes making them feel they're untrustworthy, they're turned off by that. A woman's trust issues with her ex(s) should not be projected to them w/o basis when they're in the getting to know each other stage. Can you comment on that?
Click to expand...
Too late at night here for me to even start getting my head around your pertinent question unfortunately.

I will give you an anecdote however, I once met a lady at a social function who was a professor no less, and I'd only come across in some correspondence previously, (where I didn't even realise it was a woman writing to those of us late sending in our yearly subscriptions to an organisation where she held some responsibility, and the letters were very "snotty", and intended to grab your attention, so you'd remember not to get them in late next year!).

She was very attractive, ultra intelligent, (well out of my league in that and other respects), and had a very engaging way of talking with her face very close to yours, when at a noisy function admittedly, (and she had an eyesight problem too, probably behind this very welcome behaviour!). At the end of the evening at large venue in Edinburgh I walked the lady back to where she was staying, "and that was it you could say", no kiss, not even a peck on the cheek, (I'd been warned by her very protective work colleagues she was in a relationship, and as I say I'd only met her on the night, and during the following day I sat next to her at a conference venue).

However, a "spark" was there (for me anyway), though not one to act upon for the many good reasons I've already mentioned, and you do have to try to realise when you're out of your depth, (I hope she felt some connection that night too but I'll never know, nor need to know, as rationality means those so far outside your gambit intellectually and socially, means I'd far from met a "girl Friday" interested in my limited ambitions. :unsure::) ).
 
grahamg said:
Too late at night here for me to even start getting my head around your pertinent question unfortunately.

I will give you an anecdote however, I once met a lady at a social function who was a professor no less, and I'd only come across in some correspondence previously, (where I didn't even realise it was a woman writing to those of us late sending in our yearly subscriptions to an organisation where she held some responsibility, and the letters were very "snotty", and intended to grab your attention, so you'd remember not to get them in late next year!).

She was very attractive, ultra intelligent, (well out of my league in that and other respects), and had a very engaging way of talking with her face very close to yours, when at a noisy function admittedly, (and she had an eyesight problem too, probably behind this very welcome behaviour!). At the end of the evening at large venue in Edinburgh I walked the lady back to where she was staying, "and that was it you could say", no kiss, not even a peck on the cheek, (I'd been warned by her very protective work colleagues she was in a relationship, and as I say I'd only met her on the night, and during the following day I sat next to her at a conference venue).

However, a "spark" was there (for me anyway), though not one to act upon for the many good reasons I've already mentioned, and you do have to try to realise when you're out of your depth, (I hope she felt some connection that night too but I'll never know, nor need to know, as rationality means those so far outside your gambit intellectually and socially, means I'd far from met a "girl Friday" interested in my limited ambitions. :unsure::) ).
Click to expand...
Thanks for the indirect compliments 😊

You mentioned a phrase that intrigued me ~ out of your league. A man came up to me (he must be at least 10 yrs younger) and said, "I am out of your league, you're over educated yet very approachable. I'm in awe of your presence.

When you said she was out of your league, did you feel there's no chance she'd be your girl?
 
hellomimi said:
Thanks for the indirect compliments 😊
You mentioned a phrase that intrigued me ~ out of your league. A man came up to me (he must be at least 10 yrs younger) and said, "I am out of your league, you're over educated yet very approachable. I'm in awe of your presence.
When you said she was out of your league, did you feel there's no chance she'd be your girl?
Click to expand...
None whatever, and she had an international lifestyle, toured all five continents through her work, and had a sister living in South Africa. (I forgot to mention earlier I'd seen the woman give a talk or presentation maybe five or more years before our encounter in Edinburgh, and didn't know who she was, or catch her name, but she was a force to be reckoned with then I do remember!).
 
hellomimi said:
I've read that women want to be seen while men want to be trusted. I don't know if that's universally true or not. In my conversations with decent men, a couple of them said it's true. If the woman they're dating sends vibes making them feel they're untrustworthy, they're turned off by that. A woman's trust issues with her ex(s) should not be projected to them w/o basis when they're in the getting to know each other stage. Can you comment on that?
Click to expand...
My comments so far as your questions will have to sound a bit vague because I'm not sure I know the answers, and some of the thinking I'm going to impart is "secondhand", or at least what I'm told women want/need to feel about a partner, (legal minds involved in divorce law tell me women fundamentally seek security, or a man who makes them feel secure, which isn't quite the same thing is it).

As far as women wanting to be seen, whilst I appreciate all the attention women generally spend on their appearance compared to men, I think there is truth in women wanting their partner/husband to look good, because it might be seen as a reflection upon themselves. I once had a girlfriend who wanted to buy me shirts similar to the ones her husband, (who ran off with another), used to wear, or for me to buy them, and I didn't feel comfortable with that, nor like the shirts so much, (though I can appreciate real quality clothes too on occasion).
 
Now I'm going to try to write a spoof lonely hearts ad in the style of a well known member of the forum, who might just look a bit like this:

Gary O.1.jpg


"A good hearted gentleman is seeking a similar female,
Known for humour, poems and rhymes,
You can be certain life would not be dull or pale,
for the lady taking his fancy for happy times,
ever more contented, secure, you cannot fail,
thankful you are cherished by one jolly, big male"!

(hit or miss again?)
 
As the subject of Ben Fogles programme "Lives in the Wild" came up in an early draft of my lonely hearts as I just wanted folks to know a new series of the show about those trying to live fairly isolated lives is being aired tonight on Channel Five in the UK at 9.00pm, and on this occasion featuring a couple in deepest Yorkshire! :)
 
If you were asked to write a comprehension paper, "comparing and contrasting" the two videos above, and trying to identify the level of "wokeness" each one portrays, a generation or two apart, I wonder what you'd come up with today?

That aside this thread has been an eye opener for me, given the less than enthusiastic responses so far, (though I've not lost heart you'll be pleased to know!), but whilst many seem to understand why I might be on my own romantically, their own "pickiness", (should they/you be alone too?), shines through to me I feel too. :unsure::whistle::giggle: .
 
Reminds me of mail-order brides of the 1800's
Single females plight was one of desperation with employment opportunities being virtually nil
Farmers, ranchers on the frontier desperate for help, especially if he had children
Many of these couplings worked quite well=the division of labor was needed
Romance-not sure how that worked out
 
jerry old said:
Reminds me of mail-order brides of the 1800's
Single females plight was one of desperation with employment opportunities being virtually nil
Farmers, ranchers on the frontier desperate for help, especially if he had children
Many of these couplings worked quite well=the division of labor was needed
Romance-not sure how that worked out
Click to expand...
You are asking some pretty deep questions there, about a time when divorce rates were so low too.
I remember a farmers wife, and "sister to my then mother in law" talking of her own marriage, when her husband was in earshot too, saying:"I thought about leaving him, but then where would you go"!?
(however, there may have been some humour in her comment too, as they were very happily married, and did well in life generally, with three sons to show, who went on to do pretty well themselves).
 
A bit more research:

https://blog.newspapers.com/lonely-hearts/

Quote:
"
“A good magician and magnetic healer wishes to meet a little blond song and dance or elocution lady, from 20 to 30 years; if suited will make you a kind husband and nice home in the West; give height and weight in first letter.”

If this profile popped up today on a dating website, would it be a hit or a miss for you? What if you were a single woman living in Minnesota in 1903, (where it came from)?

Quote:
"It worked for me! In 1989, at age 28, I moved to Asheville, NC, for a new job. I placed a personal ad in the local shopper “IWANNA” and received more than 50 letters in response. I met ten of the respondents, dated three of them, and married one. We have been happily married for 27 years and have four children!"
 
Della said:
It's, "probably suit former liberal elite gal," that confuses me.

Is this included in the "wanted" qualities? Are you looking for someone who would suit you and saying that you are a "former liberal elite gal" or are you saying you are looking for a gal who was once a liberal elite, but isn't one anymore? If you're looking for someone conservative why would it matter if she had been liberal in the past? Also If she (or you) were elite in the past wouldn't she still be? Once elite (superior to most) always elite I would guess.

Start over Grahamg! I love that you're doing this, but your first draft is just too confusing (and, yes, no woman wants to think about killing chickens on the first date.)

We're here to help.
Click to expand...
I think he means a libertine rather than a former liberal.....male speak for someone who is an easy lay.
 
grahamg said:
This former weather girls in the UK used ads or other similar means to try to find a new partner, (I remember her doing so at the time she met her new man), but it did end in divorce seven years later unfortunately:

View attachment 150367

https://www.shropshirestar.com/news/2007/04/23/sian-races-on-to-new-love/
Click to expand...
I forgot to say earlier I wrote to the weather girl featured when she sought a partner a dozen or more years ago, to tell her "what else", I admired her on the tv, but appreciated she was out of my league!
You don't expect famous people like this lady having any difficulty meeting a partner do you. :)
 
grahamg said:
Now I'm going to try to write a spoof lonely hearts ad in the style of a well known member of the forum, who might just look a bit like this:

View attachment 150122


"A good hearted gentleman is seeking a similar female,
Known for humour, poems and rhymes,
You can be certain life would not be dull or pale,
for the lady taking his fancy for happy times,
ever more contented, secure, you cannot fail,
thankful you are cherished by one jolly, big male"!

(hit or miss again?)
Click to expand...
Has this thread really run its course without a positive comment for even such a fine gentleman like this I wonder(?). :)
 

You must log in or register to reply here.

Back
Top