Why do so many younger members quickly leave SF?

I left a few years ago and then came back with a new name. I've actually almost left a couple of times when I was personally attacked.

Perhaps with those younger, they may be still working and not feel like they fit in. I'm still working and I do get put off by some of the 'I have it all figured out and it worked out for me posts' when I'm actually very scared about my future.
 
Forums are like bars. Find one you are comfortable in and you'll come back. Find one you hangout in everyday and you'll soon be a alcoholic. 😜
P.O. the owner, bartenders, break the rules, or do something stupid to another patron, and the bouncers will escort you to the parking lot and convince you to leave. 🤕 J/K.

I need a drink.
 
Lavinia said:
Don't want to get too graphic but there is a belief among younger men that an older woman is very experienced and able to entertain men with raunchy chat!
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Did not know that! But I don't come here, or look anywhere else for that, LOL

Happy talking to nuns, or almost nuns. Or anybody else.
 
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I didn't know that age mattered. I just post or reply to whatever interests me and I never check whether someone is 50 or 90. I guess it's important to others but not to me. Hey, I don't even check if they are from Canada, US, UK or Australia. It's what they think or say that "turns me on." Guess I don't care if they are Grandma Moses or Dennis the Menace.
 
Jules said:
@Silent Rose left also. She explained her reasons in her Diary.
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I just now read Silent Rose's explanation for leaving:
Post #39 https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/the-silent-life.69930/page-2#post-2057375

I'm sorry to see her go and will miss her, but understand why she left. Bottom line: we didn't seem to be a good fit for her. She expressed discomfort a few times with SF's wide range of sometimes strongly expressed opinions. Also some frustration that conversations tend to meander off the OP's topic. To be honest, those aspects of SF greatly appeal to me.

Do we sometimes step on each other's toes here? Yup, we sure do. But most apologize publicly or via PM, or let subsequent posts and time heal our own and others' hurt feelings, or avoid future entanglements with the ignore option.

A while back I had a few unpleasant exchanges with someone who was intentionally goading me (and some others). She eventually left the forum, but before she stopped posting I was considering bowing out myself. SF was becoming too stressful.

A forum friend saw this unfurling and PMed a suggestion that I abandon most other threads and focus on the games, which I did. I also spent 20 minutes unsubscribing to numerous contentious threads so they wouldn't hit my radar. The games category brought me to kinder, gentler, friendlier members who didn't provoke arguments.

Eventually things sorted themselves out and I again felt comfortable in all areas of the forum. That said, I still "unwatch" threads when they get on my nerves or I've said and read enough on the subject.
 
Lee said:
My question is this.....if we contact you directly does it stay only with you?
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Yes, actually I'm the only admin. You can "report" a post/member, "start a conversation" with me, or send a message with the "contact us" link, all of them can reach me, and reach me only like private emails.

Please understand that I have no enough time reading every post. Sometimes I may not be aware of a forum drama, by the time I learned of it, someone has already left. If you are treated unfairly, you have to let me know. Sometimes I feel like an outsider and have no idea what's going on. 🙄
 
Some members here complain about negative comments on this board, however I would disagree for the most part. That noted some of the COVID-19 posts have indeed been too personal. It is up to members to point such out without expecting moderators to be everywhere doing it all. On the rest of the web, forum communities have always generally been more caustic, especially those with little moderation. Moderation here is about right. Too much becomes an echo chamber.

Some people on any boards may complain simply because they tend to be emotional about most everything then tend to project their own supposed feelings on what others post simply because such disagrees with content they feel strongly about. Instead one first ought give others benefit of doubt before narrowly assuming the true intent of what others post considering other possible interpretations. If one is unsure, ask for a clarification. The Internet is a terse communication medium unlike face to face verbal.

Sometimes members not liking a post may bait the poster with a response with an intent to annoy in order to enjoy an emotional reaction from their opposition. All these and many more are games people play when in informal discussion. Don't be a fool taking their bait and rather call them out for that agenda.
 
Matrix said:
Yes, actually I'm the only admin. You can "report" a post/member, "start a conversation" with me, or send a message with the "contact us" link, all of them can reach me, and reach me only like private emails.

Please understand that I have no enough time reading every post. Sometimes I may not be aware of a forum drama, by the time I learned of it, someone has already left. If you are treated unfairly, you have to let me know. Sometimes I feel like an outsider and have no idea what's going on. 🙄
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its Good to know , who’s The Boss Person …..😁
 
I
David777 said:
Some members here complain about negative comments on this board, however I would disagree for the most part. That noted some of the COVID-19 posts have indeed been too personal. It is up to members to point such out without expecting moderators to be everywhere doing it all. On the rest of the web, forum communities have always generally been more caustic, especially those with little moderation. Moderation here is about right. Too much becomes an echo chamber.

Some people on any boards may complain simply because they tend to be emotional about most everything then tend to project their own supposed feelings on what others post simply because such disagrees with content they feel strongly about. Instead one first ought give others benefit of doubt before narrowly assuming the true intent of what others post considering other possible interpretations. If one is unsure, ask for a clarification. The Internet is a terse communication medium unlike face to face verbal.

Sometimes members not liking a post may bait the poster with a response with an intent to annoy in order to enjoy an emotional reaction from their opposition. All these and many more are games people play when in informal discussion. Don't be a fool taking their bait and rather call them out for that agenda.
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like this guy, he's pretty smart! :)
 
David777 said:
Some members here complain about negative comments on this board, however I would disagree for the most part. That noted some of the COVID-19 posts have indeed been too personal. It is up to members to point such out without expecting moderators to be everywhere doing it all. On the rest of the web, forum communities have always generally been more caustic, especially those with little moderation. Moderation here is about right. Too much becomes an echo chamber.

Some people on any boards may complain simply because they tend to be emotional about most everything then tend to project their own supposed feelings on what others post simply because such disagrees with content they feel strongly about. Instead one first ought give others benefit of doubt before narrowly assuming the true intent of what others post considering other possible interpretations. If one is unsure, ask for a clarification. The Internet is a terse communication medium unlike face to face verbal.

Sometimes members not liking a post may bait the poster with a response with an intent to annoy in order to enjoy an emotional reaction from their opposition. All these and many more are games people play when in informal discussion. Don't be a fool taking their bait and rather call them out for that agenda.
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This is a terribly lucid view of certain situations, @David777. It helped me to clarify what I've seen on occasion. Thanks.
 
David777 said:
Sometimes members not liking a post may bait the poster with a response with an intent to annoy in order to enjoy an emotional reaction from their opposition. All these and many more are games people play when in informal discussion. Don't be a fool taking their bait and rather call them out for that agenda.
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Very valid!

Alligatorob said:
I think it is easier to be caustic and rude online than in person.
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It sure is, not as much here as other places.
 
I'm 55 and have been around a few years. Unfun heath stuff makes me physically about on par with my healthy 77 year old mom. Have also kind of always been and old soul personality wise. But the biggie is I like y'all and learning from people who are experiencing different phases of life.

Heated discussions are everywhere on the internet regardless of age. This crowd is actually pretty well-behaved compared to other forums I've frequented.
 
Remy said:
I left a few years ago and then came back with a new name. I've actually almost left a couple of times when I was personally attacked.

Perhaps with those younger, they may be still working and not feel like they fit in. I'm still working and I do get put off by some of the 'I have it all figured out and it worked out for me posts' when I'm actually very scared about my future.
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I tend to ignore personal attacks and not respond. If I were running a discussion board, I'd allow political discussions but have a zero tolerance policy for personal attacks.
 
I think that many people search the internet looking for the perfect place to belong, share, and grow.

Some people create such a wonderful place in their minds that nothing will satisfy them.

Eventually, the pilgrimage becomes more important than the destination.

Whatever the reason, I've been fortunate to cross paths with some wonderful people over the years that I wouldn't have met otherwise.

“Not so much two ships passing in the night as two ships sailing together for a time but always bound for different ports.”
- P.D. James
 
SeniorBen said:
I tend to ignore personal attacks and not respond. If I were running a discussion board, I'd allow political discussions but have a zero tolerance policy for personal attacks.
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I once moderated politics on a large board. Personal attacks are going to happen in political discussions and it makes for a lot of work for moderators. We had six, took shifts and it wasn't unusual to spend two to three hours a day cleaning up threads, issuing warnings. The most immature posts I've seen on SF are by Americans who try to sneak in little snide disparaging remarks against the other 'side'.
 
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StarSong said:
I just now read Silent Rose's explanation for leaving:
Post #39 https://www.seniorforums.com/threads/the-silent-life.69930/page-2#post-2057375

I'm sorry to see her go and will miss her, but understand why she left. Bottom line: we didn't seem to be a good fit for her. She expressed discomfort a few times with SF's wide range of sometimes strongly expressed opinions. Also some frustration that conversations tend to meander off the OP's topic. To be honest, those aspects of SF greatly appeal to me.

Do we sometimes step on each other's toes here? Yup, we sure do. But most apologize publicly or via PM, or let subsequent posts and time heal our own and others' hurt feelings, or avoid future entanglements with the ignore option.

A while back I had a few unpleasant exchanges with someone who was intentionally goading me (and some others). She eventually left the forum, but before she stopped posting I was considering bowing out myself. SF was becoming too stressful.

A forum friend saw this unfurling and PMed a suggestion that I abandon most other threads and focus on the games, which I did. I also spent 20 minutes unsubscribing to numerous contentious threads so they wouldn't hit my radar. The games category brought me to kinder, gentler, friendlier members who didn't provoke arguments.

Eventually things sorted themselves out and I again felt comfortable in all areas of the forum. That said, I still "unwatch" threads when they get on my nerves or I've said and read enough on the subject.
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SilentRose left? I'm really sorry to learn that; she is a sweet person and I thought she added a lot. I have not read it yet, but it was graceful of her to explain rather than simply disappearing.
 
David777 said:
Some members here complain about negative comments on this board, however I would disagree for the most part. That noted some of the COVID-19 posts have indeed been too personal. It is up to members to point such out without expecting moderators to be everywhere doing it all. On the rest of the web, forum communities have always generally been more caustic, especially those with little moderation. Moderation here is about right. Too much becomes an echo chamber.

Some people on any boards may complain simply because they tend to be emotional about most everything then tend to project their own supposed feelings on what others post simply because such disagrees with content they feel strongly about. Instead one first ought give others benefit of doubt before narrowly assuming the true intent of what others post considering other possible interpretations. If one is unsure, ask for a clarification. The Internet is a terse communication medium unlike face to face verbal.

Sometimes members not liking a post may bait the poster with a response with an intent to annoy in order to enjoy an emotional reaction from their opposition. All these and many more are games people play when in informal discussion. Don't be a fool taking their bait and rather call them out for that agenda.
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That is spot on David and unfortunately, I've risen to that bait too often, only to realize afterward that I was the fool.
 
Lewkat said:
That is spot on David and unfortunately, I've risen to that bait too often, only to realize afterward that I was the fool.
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You're not alone in that. I think we're all susceptible to certain triggers and find them difficult to ignore, as we probably should. Gods know, it's happened to me and I'm left frustrated with myself over why I let myself get sucked in.
We're human; it happens. WhatAreYaGonnaDo? :censored:
 
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