Do you get jealous?

Ronni

Ronni

Well-known Member
Location
Nashville TN
I have never been a jealous person in romantic or familial relationships. I sometime get envious of others but that’s different.

I was crazy jealous during the time when
my ex was chronically cheating, but I sure had cause, even though he castigated me unmercifully for being a “paranoid, jealous b*%@h” as a way to deflect, even as he flaunted his affairs and dared me to react. (Crazymaking behavior.)

Those of you who know my history with Ron know I had many opportunities to be jealous when his ex Julie continuously insinuated herself into his life, sometimes calling him numerous times a day. I was never jealous, just pointed out to Ron the unhealthy relationship he had with her.

Ron gets randomly jealous. Because I’m a tactile person and will hug, touch, pat all who I come into contact with, male or female, he will sometimes take offense when I’m just being myself with a man, usually a young attractive one, (our female kids’ significant others or a bartender. 😂 ) We’re working on that with some couples counseling.

How about you?
 

Never did, neither has my wife. Over the years plenty of opportunities for both to cause the other to be jealous but didn't. I'm sure respect ingrained in both of us had a lot to do with that. Our commitment to not lie also strong all thru the years.

One of the 1st. things we agreed on was if ever love was lost, then divorce would be as amicable as the day we got married. That goes back to respect.
 
Never have been jealous, never will be.
My ex wife tried to make me jealous by flirting with other men. She probably thought it would make me appreciate her more.
She was always disappointed that I didn't react the way she wanted me to.
Once, she asked me if her flirting bothered me. I said, "No; it just makes me lose my respect for you."
I've always thought if someone I'm seeing tries to make me jealous, she ain't worth it.
 
RE romantic relationships I am more affected by abandonment than jealousy. Some people have the ability to wander off with ease. I could do that more easily in Jr. High. Although I have a hard time walking off, abandoning people, there are times doing so might have been in my best interest. RE materialism, at this stage, unless a person is better at the art of minimalism, I don't feel competitive.
 
Nope, I've never been the jealous type. No purpose....you either trust your loved one and you don't. And if you don't, then you need to find one that you *can* trust.

It's a good thing I wasn't the jealous type because my late husband had many more female friends than I did. I trusted him.

The Spousal Equivalent has never given me a moment's reason in 13 years to be jealous.
 
Hey Ronnie, I’m not overly jealous but don’t know many people, male or female who would be comfortable to see their partner ‘hugging, touching and patting’ young attractive members of the opposite sex

If I knew it upset my husband I’d reign it in a bit out of respect for his feelings
 
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jujube said:
Nope, I've never been the jealous type. No purpose....you either trust your loved one and you don't. And if you don't, then you need to find one that you *can* trust.

It's a good thing I wasn't the jealous type because my late husband had many more female friends than I did. I trusted him.

The Spousal Equivalent has never given me a moment's reason in 13 years to be jealous.
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Yes, Same here! My husband was really handsome and amiable. He had so many ladies flirting with him all the time!
but,
If you don't trust the horses, don't ride em in the race!
 
Wren said:
Hey Ronnie, I’m not overly jealous but don’t know many people, male or female who would be comfortable to see their partner ‘hugging, touching and patting’ young attractive members of the opposite sex

If I knew it upset my husband I’d reign it in a bit out of respect for his feelings
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Well it’s not like I hug, pat and touch all at once 😂 I realize I gave that impression.

I’m a hugger. I’ll hug rather than handshake. Always have been.

As far as patting, touching etc, you know when you’re having a conversation and they say something that touches you in some way, or you’re empathetic to what they’re saying? I might reach out and pat their hand or touch them on the shoulder. Doesn’t matter who…old, young, male or female, I don’t discriminate and it’s not a planned thing or calculated in any way.

Just like I don’t make a plan to smile at appropriate times, I also don’t give any thought to those gestures. If you’re not a tactile person, you may not even understand what I’m taking about.

When I referenced the “young attractive male” thing, I was trying to say that my husband is selective in who he gets upset about 😉 It seems his jealousy is reserved mostly for the kids’ boyfriends, but not all of them and not all the time. Even Ron himself can’t articulate why not everyone.

It’s perplexing and frustrating for the both of us….me because this is just a part of who I am, the way I’ve been my whole life with people no matter their age or gender, and it’s largely unconscious. Most of the time I have no idea what he’s talking about.

Him because it’s so knee-jerk and random, and even he recognizes the irrationality of it. Like I said, it’s frustrating and perplexing, hence therapy.
 
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Admittedly in my 30's I did get a bit jealous when my husband openly flirted, but as it turned out, I had reasons...
Since then, I realized there is no need for jealousy. If you are loved, and love someone, hugs and smiles to another in greeting or fun should be welcomed.
 
Alligatorob said:
That doesn't seem possible. Glad you never had the chance to find out!
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Not only possible but followed one of the wise bits of advice a 1st. class recip mechanic gave me before marrying. He said apply the 95 //5 rule. If you find someone that is 95% better than the woman you marry then leave your marriage the same way you began.

As I thought about this topic yesterday I came to realize being in the Navy was for the best in developing our solid marriage. 1st. 10 years while in the Navy with no immediate family, depending entirely on each other was normal. Once out of the Navy that didn't change.
 

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