Are we ever too old to fall in love?

My high school boyfriend is still one of my closest friends. I talk to him often and we get together whenever we can. We briefly got back together in college but by mutual agreement realized that we just weren't made to be married to each other (we're too much alike). There's always been a tiny little corner of my heart that belong to him, though, because he was my first love. My late husband liked him and I really like his wife.
 

jujube said:
My high school boyfriend is still one of my closest friends. I talk to him often and we get together whenever we can. We briefly got back together in college but by mutual agreement realized that we just weren't made to be married to each other (we're too much alike). There's always been a tiny little corner of my heart that belong to him, though, because he was my first love. My late husband liked him and I really like his wife.
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I'm glad you have that. But I'm curious about your comment that you were too much alike, how does that harm a relationship?
 
I don't know if everyone feels this way but I still have a strong memory of my first love. It was in high school and I would have done anything for her. We never had sex, but we sure kissed alot. My folks moved 40 miles away after a couple years and that put the big cool down on our romance though we wrote letters from time to time, but here I am some 60 years and I can still see her face and I still think of her often. She made my first love a sweet one although as I said this was back where "good girls" didn't.
 

911 said:
I can share this here because no one knows my wife. I first fell in love when I was 13 years old. I just didn't know what it was. Over the last 60 years, I see her maybe once a year because she lives out of state. I have to admit that I am still in love with her. How does that work? I am definitely still in love with my wife and would never even consider a divorce, but I love my old girlfriend from back in the day. It is really a confusing feeling and one that I only ever shared with my therapist.

We still communicate with one another maybe 4-6 times a year with an e-mail, which I do share with my wife, but that's as far as it goes. She has had two very bad and failed marriages. Her first husband beat her up when he was drunk and her second husband cheated on her numerous times. She is a very pretty lady, intelligent and just a real sweetheart. I don't know how she ended up with two losers and she doesn't want to talk about it. After she was beat up by her first husband for the sixth time and spent 4 days in the hospital, I convinced her to have him arrested. I told her if she didn't he would end up killing her and I was being serious. I have seen this over and over several times. While he was in jail she moved out and filed for divorce. Her parents were so grateful to me that they sent me a big box of chocolates, like 5 pounds of Ghirardelli.

I know that this wasn't part of this thread, but has anyone else ever felt this way about two people or am I being foolish?
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Makes me think of the movie 'Same time next year'. They loved their spouses but loved each other.

Does your wife have any idea or just think you two are old friends?
 
911, I don't think you are foolish at all. The boy who was responsible for my first kiss when I was seventeen,later became my boyfriend for almost two years. Although life has sent us on separate paths, the spark remains. The last time we met was last summer. We spent a day together, walking in Butchart Gardens in Victoria, it was magical. Nothing inappropriate was said (he is married), but much was felt. He was my first love, and will always carry a small piece of my heart. Sigh. Have I loved since? Most definitely, but from another section of my heart.
 
Shalimar said:
911, I don't think you are foolish at all. The boy who was responsible for my first kiss when I was seventeen,later became my boyfriend for almost two years. Although life has sent us on separate paths, the spark remains. The last time we met was last summer. We spent a day together, walking in Butchart Gardens in Victoria, it was magical. Nothing inappropriate was said (he is married), but much was felt. He was my first love, and will always carry a small piece of my heart. Sigh. Have I loved since? Most definitely, but from another section of my heart.
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How many "love" sections do you have in your heart and are they really in the heart rather than brain? Where's the emotion, heart or head. I know it sounds better, let's just go with heart.
 
If my first, real, love walked up to me today and wanted to start over, I would actually consider it, that's how much of a place he still has in my heart. But, we've been on that road a few times even after my marriage ended we saw each other from time to time, but, as always, things got in the way and foot mouth disease always happens, but quite honestly we are incompatible, due to what partly was an issue from the get go. I was the one that he gave his virginity to, think someone like Tim Tebow. We were facebook friends up until about a year ago, I had messed up that rekindled friendship with foot mouth disease again. My words were that, I didn't want to start up a relationship, or some such crapola, but, that's not what I meant, to say when he started reminiscing about the past. :crying: But no sense in me doing this :banghead: I could never find religion and that's his calling. But boy, I did love that man.
 
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Couple get married in nursing home....

Karin Kuder
ido.jpg




This couple’s golden years just got a whole lot sweeter.
When health issues forced Bill Solomon into Oak View Rehabilitation Center in Orange Park in 2014, for the most part he kept to himself.
The retired psychotherapist had been living at the center for several months when his sister took him to lunch one day last fall.
“Mary [Mock] and her friend were sitting outside smoking and my sister introduced us and told them that I was shy, that’s why I stayed in my room,” recalled Bill, 58.
After that, Bill started spending more time outside.
It turned out that Mary and Bill had met years ago. They used to talk on the phone when she would coordinate referrals to his practice.
The pair became quite close, opening up to one another about cares big and small.
Last winter, Mary says, “It just happened.”
First Bill’s feelings changed. Mary, a widowed, retired nurse, had charmed him with her sense of humor and kindhearted personality.
Soon thereafter, she started to see him in a different light.
“I like the way he talks, the way he acts, the way he just is; he’s just a nice guy, a great guy,” said Mary, 74.
Neither expected to fall in love at Oak View. But that’s precisely what happened.
Last June, the couple were sitting outside when Bill presented a beautiful diamond solitaire and asked her to marry him.
Surprised, she said “yes.”
Mary’s family was taken aback, but she said that they eventually came around to the idea of their mother and grandmother as a bride.
On the wedding day, for a few nerve-racking minutes Bill feared Mary wasn’t going to show.
“They played the ‘Here Comes the Bride’ but you couldn’t hear it from the hall because there were so many people. So they played it three times,” Bill said.
Then she appeared, much to his relief.
On Aug. 12, Bill and Mary exchanged matching diamond bands and said “I do” in the center’s dining room.
Theirs was the first marriage to take place at Oak View. The staff pitched in to help decorate and many attended. One even sang a few songs, including “You Are So Beautiful.”
“It was so wonderful to see their loving looks and their silent ‘I love yous’ during the ceremony,” said friend Susan Stobe.
It goes to show that love can find you anywhere, anytime, whether you’re looking for it or not.

If you know of a wonderful wedding story for “I Do, I Do,” please email your suggestion to clairegoforth@yahoo.com.
 
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jujube said:
two elderly people become friends; he was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, 'will you marry me?'

after about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered. 'yes, yes, i will.'

the meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, 'when i asked you last night if you would marry me, did you say 'yes' or did you say 'no'?'

he was delighted to hear her say, 'why, i said, 'yes, yes i will' and i meant it with all my heart.' then she continued, 'and i am so glad that you called, because i couldn't remember who had asked me.'
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rofl!!
 
ndynt said:
Karin Kuder
View attachment 22196




This couple’s golden years just got a whole lot sweeter.
When health issues forced Bill Solomon into Oak View Rehabilitation Center in Orange Park in 2014, for the most part he kept to himself.
The retired psychotherapist had been living at the center for several months when his sister took him to lunch one day last fall.
“Mary [Mock] and her friend were sitting outside smoking and my sister introduced us and told them that I was shy, that’s why I stayed in my room,” recalled Bill, 58.
After that, Bill started spending more time outside.
It turned out that Mary and Bill had met years ago. They used to talk on the phone when she would coordinate referrals to his practice.
The pair became quite close, opening up to one another about cares big and small.
Last winter, Mary says, “It just happened.”
First Bill’s feelings changed. Mary, a widowed, retired nurse, had charmed him with her sense of humor and kindhearted personality.
Soon thereafter, she started to see him in a different light.
“I like the way he talks, the way he acts, the way he just is; he’s just a nice guy, a great guy,” said Mary, 74.
Neither expected to fall in love at Oak View. But that’s precisely what happened.
Last June, the couple were sitting outside when Bill presented a beautiful diamond solitaire and asked her to marry him.
Surprised, she said “yes.”
Mary’s family was taken aback, but she said that they eventually came around to the idea of their mother and grandmother as a bride.
On the wedding day, for a few nerve-racking minutes Bill feared Mary wasn’t going to show.
“They played the ‘Here Comes the Bride’ but you couldn’t hear it from the hall because there were so many people. So they played it three times,” Bill said.
Then she appeared, much to his relief.
On Aug. 12, Bill and Mary exchanged matching diamond bands and said “I do” in the center’s dining room.
Theirs was the first marriage to take place at Oak View. The staff pitched in to help decorate and many attended. One even sang a few songs, including “You Are So Beautiful.”
“It was so wonderful to see their loving looks and their silent ‘I love yous’ during the ceremony,” said friend Susan Stobe.
It goes to show that love can find you anywhere, anytime, whether you’re looking for it or not.

If you know of a wonderful wedding story for “I Do, I Do,” please email your suggestion to clairegoforth@yahoo.com.
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Lovely story!!!
 
Bah, humbug - love! It's for poets and cattle. It's a slug of dopamine ... and highly over-rated.

That said ... I've had my share of it but not sure I'd want it anymore. It drains the chi.
 
Whether it "drains the Chi" or no, I'd like to fall in love again. I always think of unmarried seniors pairing up for companionship. Love would be most welcome but it's harder to find as you get older. I always question a man's motives.
 
Well are we talking romantic love or sex? As for the latter, we were still going strong when I was past 80. It petered out ( pun not intended, but I like it ),more because we were too tired to make the effort, than through any lack of desire.
I can not envision replacing my wife, but when I see a loving couple, I remember what we had, and get that old feeling.
So I guess the capacity to feel love is still there. Just not for me.
 
chic said:
Whether it "drains the Chi" or no, I'd like to fall in love again. I always think of unmarried seniors pairing up for companionship. Love would be most welcome but it's harder to find as you get older. I always question a man's motives.
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Well, companionship is to me something different. I can get that from a dog or cat. Or a goldfish.

That way, when you get tired of them you can just flush them. :cool:
 
And just remember, "Falling in love with love is falling for make believe...." Remember that one? Let's sing it together...
 
jujube said:
Two elderly people become friends; he was a widower and she a widow. They had known one another for a number of years. Now, one evening there was a community supper in the big activity center. These two were at the same table, across from one another. As the meal went on, he made a few admiring glances at her and finally gathered up his courage to ask her, 'Will you marry me?'

After about six seconds of 'careful consideration,' she answered. 'Yes, Yes, I will.'

The meal ended and with a few more pleasant exchanges, they went to their respective places. Next morning, he was troubled. Did she say 'yes' or did she say 'no'? He couldn't remember. Try as he would, he just could not recall. Not even a faint memory. With trepidation, he went to the telephone and called her. First, he explained to her that he didn't remember as well as he used to. Then he reviewed the lovely evening past. As he gained a little more courage, he then inquired of her, 'When I asked you last night if you would marry me, did you say 'Yes' or did you say 'No'?'

He was delighted to hear her say, 'Why, I said, 'Yes, yes I will' and I meant it with all my heart.' Then she continued, 'And I am so glad that you called, because I couldn't remember who had asked me.'
Click to expand...



Totally hilarious jujube! Thanks for my first chuckle of the day!
 
Underock1 said:
Well are we talking romantic love or sex? As for the latter, we were still going strong when I was past 80. It petered out ( pun not intended, but I like it ),more because we were too tired to make the effort, than through any lack of desire.
I can not envision replacing my wife, but when I see a loving couple, I remember what we had, and get that old feeling.
So I guess the capacity to feel love is still there. Just not for me.
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But are you comparing a 'mechanical' act with a feeling that starts in your mind/heart and are they different or are they the same? It seems to me that a person who is unable to move their body can still love someone right? So even though an old man/woman no longer has the same level of physical functions, is love precluded? I think the fact that you love your wife enough to be sexually active with her when you two were able and the fact that you can't envision replacing her means that your capacity to 'love' is alive and kicking. It's the 'other parts' that are having issues.
 
I see love has ended for Kaley Cuoco ("The Big Bang Theory" on TV) and her tennis bum husband because of his addiction to painkillers.

2 years married ... it took me that long to get the rice out of my hair. What is it with "young" love? Immaturity? A rush to play house? At least with these senior couples they seem to be able to stay together a lot longer when they DO proclaim love ...
 
Debby said:
But are you comparing a 'mechanical' act with a feeling that starts in your mind/heart and are they different or are they the same? It seems to me that a person who is unable to move their body can still love someone right? So even though an old man/woman no longer has the same level of physical functions, is love precluded? I think the fact that you love your wife enough to be sexually active with her when you two were able and the fact that you can't envision replacing her means that your capacity to 'love' is alive and kicking. It's the 'other parts' that are having issues.
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I agree. I lost my wife back in March. The "other parts" never stopped working for either of us. We just got too darned tired!
My reference to the young couple was referring to the stirrings of memory on the romantic side.
 
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AZ Jim said:
How many "love" sections do you have in your heart and are they really in the heart rather than brain? Where's the emotion, heart or head. I know it sounds better, let's just go with heart.
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I have often thought about that ,Jim. We now know that the heart is just a pump, but we can't throw away all of that wonderful poetry from time immemorial. No one wants to give the brain credit for anything. Maybe because its such an ugly, squiggly looking thing. Not exactly a cuddly puppy image.
 

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